For the next few days, Mark wasn't able to visit. He was busy with work, teaching children how to fly (not literally) across the room. He was a martial arts teacher alongside being a psychiatrist. His life sounds pretty interesting to me. Although being a psychiatrist was a part-time job. Sometimes, he would volunteer to help out in the orphanage. The reason being to see his brother. He gets quite a lot of money for all the jobs his doing and I'm surprised as to why he picked to stay by my side. Why can't he just go to clubs and party all night? That would lift some weight off my shoulders. But if he actually did that, I'd be alone. 

He sends part of his money to his parents (not biological, of course), which they are grateful for. They would've adopted Mark's brother, who goes by the name of Yugyeom, but they were getting old and they wouldn't be able to take care of him properly. Mark couldn't really look after him since his jobs can be unpredictable sometimes and this can cause him to finish work late. Yugyeom doesn't even know he has  a brother who visits him nearly every day. How is he suppose to cope? 

It being alone. Mark is lucky to have a brother, even parents. I've always wanted an older brother and I finally got something similar. Can you guess? Yup, it's Mark. Although that only lasted for a few months. Along with acting like a brother, a father and a best friend, I developed a crush on him too. It was unrequited crush, of course. You might think it's typical, I did too but you can't really choose your feelings. Sorry to break it to you guys. I've tried to get over it but Mark just wouldn't get lost. He was with me every day; dropping me at school and what not. No matter how hard I tried, he just really wouldn't go away. 

One of the nurses came in to check how I was doing. I asked her a few pointless questions since I didn't have anyone to talk to all day and she seemed like she didn't mind. In fact, you could say she was enjoying answering them. One of her answers really got me though. I asked her whether she believed in ghosts but instead of saying yes/no and giving a reason, she replied with, 

"I suppose ghosts is that one last chance of communicating to your loved ones who died."

I looked at her, confused. "If you don't mind, please elaborate." 

She shrugged as she fiddled with the machines, "Well, if a ghost appear, especially if that ghost was a family member who you dearly loved, wouldn't you be happy to see them again?"

Sill confused, I nodded and said, "I supposed..." 

"Then, in a way, you're communicating with someone whom you've lost and want to see again." She continued. "Nearly everyone wishes to see their deceased loved ones one more time and by seeing their ghost form, their wish is granted." 

It did make sense but I was still confused. "I still don't get it."

"I'm sorry to ask, but have you lost anyone who you truly treasured?" 

"My parents." Her expression stiffened and you could tell she regretted asking it. "It's okay. Continue." I urged her. 

"Sorry." She apologized without making eye contact. She pretended to be busy by filling in some form. "Would you want to see them again?" I nodded. "Can you communicate with them in any way? A way in which they would respond back to you?" I shook my head. "Then if they appeared in front of you, as ghosts, isn't that a type of communication. They'll probably respond or do something to communicate."

"How do you know that?"

The nurse smiled, "I don't. I'm just assuming."

"So do you believe in ghosts or not?" I asked my original question. 

"I do." 

"Have you seen one?" 

"No."

"Then why do you believe in them?" 

The nurse looked up from what she was doing and replied, "Do you?" 

"No." 

"Why not?" 

I got really tired of the conversation since it's getting boring so to make it interesting I said, "Because if ghosts exist why hasn't my parents visited me yet? How come they haven't tried to communicate with me? I talk to them every time I visit their grave but they show no signs that they're there or that their listening to me. Do you know how frustrated I am?" I was really on the verge of crying and to stop myself from doing so, I bit my gums. 

The nurse was taken aback by my answer but her eyes were still calm, "If they did visit you, what would you say?" 

I thought about it for a moment, "To take me with them already. I'm sick of this stupid machine beeping all the time and the useless treatments I get and I just can't take it anymore." I didn't realized that I've already started crying and that I was whispering too. "I'm already going to die so what's the point of all this treatment?"

Instead of the nurse replying, someone else did. 

"Excuse you but I requested for you to be treated." Mark butted in. Perfect timing right. Gosh, is this a drama or what? 

"I never asked you to." 

"Stop being selfish and grow up." That was really an unexpected response. The nurse looked at him and he did a hand signal telling her to leave. 

She nodded then looked at me and said, "We'll continue this next time." I gave her a small smile and looked away. 

When she left, Mark came and sat on my bed. "Here's a book." He took the lily out that was there from a few days ago and replaced it with another flower. "This flower is called Yarrow, for good health." I scoffed. "Stop it." He warned. 

I looked at the flower for a long time and it's so pretty and alive. It was white. It was always white. But I didn't mind. I liked the colour white, it was pure. "Where did you get it from?" 

Mark looked amused, "Narnia."

"The flower shop then." He handed me the book and I read the title, "Chasing Summer." 

"You told me that you wanted to read it one more time before you..." He trailed off.

"Die." I finished the sentence for him. I gave him a hug and thanked him for it. "You must be tired, why didn't you go home and rest?"

"I haven't visited in a while." I just nodded. "Plus, I miss you." 

Okay, that was cheesy for me. "Ew." I was never really the type to show my feelings through words. I've never told him that I've missed him or that I love him (as a brother, father, etc.). I only told him that I was thankful and that's probably it. On the other hand, he was the type to express his feelings with no hesitation. 

He sulked playfully since he was used to this. "Thanks," he said. Then his face lit up like he discovered that I was going to live. "I told Yugyeom about you. He said he still remembers you." 

I've visited the orphanage to see Yugyeom twice with Mark. I'm surprise he still remembers me. "Really?"

He nodded, "I told him you were sick and he said he wanted to visit you." 

"Is he allowed?" 

He nodded again, "The staff said it was fine."

"Do they know?"

"That I'm related to him?" I nodded. "Yeah." 

"So when is he coming?" 

"Tomorrow?"

"Don't you have to go to work?" 

He smiled and held my hand, "Nope. I took the day off to spend time with you and my brother."

"Aw, that's so touching." I said sarcastically. "So touching that I think I'm going to vomit." 

He threw my hand away gently and sulked again. "Why are you so mean to me?"

"I take the chances when I can since I won't be able to do it forever." 

Mark rolled his eyes, "Gosh, you're such a downer." I gave him a thumbs up. "Ah! I asked if I could sleep here for the night and with a secret permission, I can." 

"Where the hell are you supposed to sleep?" We looked around the room and there's only a chair which looks really uncomfortable.

He turned to me and flashed a bright smile, "Next to you." 

Wow. Just wow. I sighed. "Why?"

"Why not, coconut?" He made a stupid face but actually looks cute and for cookies' sake he should really stop. 

I guess this unrequited crush will never go away.