Kris P.O.V

My back hit the wall as I stared at the sight in front of me. The bedside table was knocked down, glass was shattered, torn pieces of paper was scattered around the room, and the mattress of the bed was thrown off to god knows where.

 

“What have I become?” I quietly thought as I slid down the wall.

 

I felt empty and lost; with no emotion whatsoever. The aura around the room was very depressing and gloomy.  The silence was like a vacuum; creating an overwhelming sense of emptiness. I couldn’t help but feel helpless either. After months of drinking, smoking, drugs, literally anything to take my mind off of her, nothing just seemed to help. Day after day, everything has just gotten worse.

 

I still couldn’t eat, I stopped showering, and I always managed to break everything in this house. The house I once used to share with her. I cried everyday up until now just thinking about her. Knowing that I was foolish enough to believe that of a guy. Of course he would’ve pulled something on her, he is the Kim Jongdae, also known as Chen the womanizer. How could I forget his motto?

 

‘If it’s lust overcoming you, let it do it’s work. You could always take a break once in a while.’

 

                  But I can’t believe Miko did this to me as well, the way she looked at me when I caught those two in a hot make out session was heartbreaking. She didn’t even look guilty; she looked more shocked and horrified that I found out their little secret. I still remember the things she said to me. But what was worst was that not only did she cheat on me but also knowing that she was pregnant with his child just set me off.

 

 

I was on my way to pick Miko up from Chen’s house still feeling excited to be finally seeing my girlfriend of now 1 year after being gone for 7 long months. I could barely wait just boarding my plane back from all the way in China, not to mention the drive to seeing her now.

 

                  It has been a long vacation, too long in fact. I would do anything to see her right now, literally anything. I am dying to see her, to hug her, to just have her in my arms again. It’s like it’s been forever since I last saw her and knowing that somehow she can’t receive my calls worries me, but it’ll be alright, it’ll just be another block down the road and I’ll be right by her side again.

 

                  Another minute or so passed by and I reached Chen’s humble abode, it was a big white painted bungalow with a small garden that had a little pond at in front of it. It was nice home, then again, he was a genius when it comes to interior designing.

                 

                  I parked into the driveway and hurriedly got out of my car. I made my to the front door and knocked on the door, although no one answered, I knocked again but louder still nothing. Luckily, I knew where he kept his spare key. I lifted up the doormat and there it was, it wasn’t such a good hiding spot but it doesn’t matter. I unlocked the door and let myself in.

 

                  Although, as I walked up the stairs I could here stifled moans. I grew nervous and quickly ran up. I looked inside the master bedroom to see the most horrifying scene unfold. Chen was on top of Miko in a heavy make out session, grinding his hips on her while she was halfway done ing his shirt. The next second I knew, I had torn Chen off of her and punched him square in the jaw.

 

“Kris!” I could hear her shouting from behind me.

 

                  But in that moment, I could care less. All I thought about was how Chen had the nerve to do that. I got on top of him and just started throwing punches at him. It hurt my fists a lot but it didn’t matter, all that did though was how mad I was. Before I could throw a few more blows at him, Miko pushed me off of him.

 

“Kris, stop!” Miko shouted.

 

“What the is going on because the last time I knew you were my girlfriend!” I answered back.

 

“I can explain-“ I cut her off before she could continue.

 

“Explain what? How you cheated on me? How you practically wasted a year of our relationship?” I questioned as my voice slowly started to rise.

 

Chen slowly got up and regained his composure.

 

“Listen and shut up for a minute.” He started.

 

I frowned upon his rudeness but nonetheless stayed silent waiting for him to continue.

 

“I know that you think that what you saw is what it looks like, and it was but-“ he stopped abruptly as Miko interrupted him.

 

“Chen, I think I should explain, could you give us a minute?” Miko asked.

 

“Of course.” Chen gave her a small smile.

 

That was it, I was so confused and so mad I didn’t know what to do or say. I heard the door close indicating that Chen had already left.

 

“Explain.” I started.

 

“Why are you back earl-“ but I didn’t want to hear any of it, I just needed an explanation.

 

“Explain.” I said more sternly.

 

She looked at me and sighed before she continued.

 

“I am so sorry. Yes, what you saw was what it looked like and it’s been going on for a while. About a month after you left, I got lonely and missed you. Chen was there for me and I guess he made me feel happy. We had a few times and I found out I was pregnant.”

 

I felt like my heart just shattered into a billion pieces.

 

“Now for about 6 months. I know what I did was wrong Kris, I’m sorry and I know you’re mad-“ before she could continue I just didn’t want to listen anymore.

 

“Mad? You think I’m mad? I’m ing furious, Miko! To think that I worked so hard and finished all my work early just so that I could see you sooner was for nothing?” I was shouting at her, all the anger was just pouring out of me.

 

“I loved you, Miko, didn’t that matter to you? I showered you with all the love I could give and this is what you do to me? What happened to together forever? I trusted you, you know? I trusted you so much, that’s why I left you here with him. I thought you knew how he was like and could handle him but obviously not. I gave you everything, but you just went around and slept with him to find out you got yourself ing pregnant? Now that’s just sick. I thought you were better than this, I thought you thought of yourself better, but I obviously thought wrong.” My voice started to quiet down.

 

“Wrong, this is all just so wrong. Did you even think about what was going to happen once you let him have his inside you? In fact, did you even think of me?” I was praying and hoping that she’d give me a good answer but she just kept quiet and hung her head low.

“Tsk. You know what? I’m done, it’s pretty clear that we are way past over but I never want to see you again. I hope Chen treats you well, oh and by the way, tell him that I wouldn’t really like to see him ever again either.” I said as I finally turned around to walk out of the room.

 

I hurriedly walked past Chen and darted for the stairs but stopped walking and turned back around.

 

“Also, congratulations. I hope you guys have a nice life.”

 

And with that, I ran out of the house and got into my car to leave. I drove so fast back to my apartment; I was surprised the police didn’t catch me.

 

 

                  My eyes brimmed with tears and soon, tears fell one after another, sliding down my cheeks. I cried as if the entire world, and all of its beauty, had come to an end. I sobbed as if she were a mere child and lost in a new city. Although, it felt just like that, like I lost the most important thing in my life and didn’t know how to recover. I don’t think I can recover, Miko was the reason I breathed, the reason I woke up everyday, she was the reason I believed in love.

 

                  After what felt like centuries, I slowly got up and trudged to the bathroom right across the bedroom. I took a long look at myself in the mirror and was taken aback to see how I looked like. My golden locks were greasy and all over the place, my eyes were red and had heavy bags under them, my lips were cracked and my face was extremely pale.

 

My eyes widened as I my hand made it’s way to my face to see if it was real, however, I saw my right hand covered in bruises and had deep scars and cuts on them. I looked at my other hand to see that it was slightly better than my right, but nonetheless still in a bad condition. It was appalling to see state right now, but I should’ve seen it coming.

 

“She ruined you.” I thought in my head.

 

                  It was true though, I couldn’t argue with something that was so exact. If there were anything to describe of what she did to me, I would say that completely and utterly ruined me. I became a hazard, I was not doing anything right anymore and I was hurting myself faster than I was realizing it.

 

                  I walked out of the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen to see if I could force anything down considering that I haven’t bee eating for quiet a while now. As I entered the kitchen, I was face to face with what looked like a place that was bombed and had an earthquake.

 

                  I slowly turned around to what was supposed to be my living room and small dining area but instead saw a complete mess. It was absolutely ruined. Nothing was in its place, nothing was where it was supposed to be, it was in ruins from top to bottom.

 

                  I felt worthless; this was all just pathetic. Never have I, Kris Wu Yi Fan, ever felt like such a loser. Miko was a mistake, everyone makes mistakes, and we’re only human. She may have made me feel like the most important man on earth but that was the past and this is the present.

 

                  I made my way to the front door and grabbed my coat. I needed to clear my head and have a fresh new start. I’d probably clean up this dump of a home later. All I needed now was to get away for a while. I needed to start a new me.