“I am getting married, Kyungsoo Hyung”  

“Really?”

“Yeah, are you not happy for me?”

“I am Jongin, I am very happy….”

 

Kyungsoo could hear these words even when his eyes closed. He could still see the happiness in Jongin’s eye about the marriage. This is Kyungsoo’s weakness.  Jongin being happy is Kyungsoo’s weakness.

 

Since they were kids, Kyungsoo could feel something is different about his feelings towards Jongin. He likes Jongin. He loves Jongin. He doesn’t have the courage to tell Jongin his feelings because he was afraid that he might be rejected and his confession can affect their friendship.  So, he kept it from himself all these years.

But now, He can’t tell Jongin how he really felt. Jongin is getting married now. He can’t imagine Jongin being with someone. Kyungsoo felt his heart like it is being shattered into pieces that can’t be put together again.

“I should be happy because Jongin is happy” Kyungsoo tells himself as he lay in his bed full of regrets. Kyungsoo wished he can turn back the time when he felt he liked Jongin. He wished he has the audacity to tell how he really loved Jongin. But it is too late. 

 

****

It is two days since he heard the news from Jongin. Two nights Kyungsoo had been crying his eyes out. He barely comes out to his apartment. He is in deep pain that no one has the antidote for a broken heart.

His phone suddenly rings, Jongin’s name flashed on the screen. He doesn’t want to answer the call, but he has to, He has to show Jongin he is okay. He knew Jongin would be upset if he is like this.

“Hyung~” he heard Jongin’s voice.

“Mmh” is the only sound he is able to answer.

“Where are you? Sorry I wasn’t able to call you after we talked the other day. I was so busy preparing for the wedding. How are you?”

He felt like he doesn’t want to answer Jongin’s question.

“I’m okay, don’t worry about me.”

“You haven’t congratulated me yet about my wedding. It makes me think that you doesn’t want me to get married.”

“Yes” Kyungsoo whispered.

“What did you say Hyung?”

“I said Congratulations on your wedding, Jongin.”

“Thank You Hyung! I need to go now. I’ll call you again. Ok?”

“Okay….” And Kyungsoo heard the call being dropped. 

 

 

****

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes up someone knocking on the door.  He opens and surprised to see Jongin. It’s been two weeks since he last saw him. All his feelings towards the boy on the door flushed over him. It’s like always seeing Jongin for the first time again.

“I came here to give the invitation Hyung.” Jongin smiled widely as he hands the envelope to his Hyung.

“Oh ~ Would you like to come in and have some tea first?” Kyungsoo suggests.

“Sorry Hyung, but I have to deliver all the invitations today am giving invitations today. I can’t join you. The wedding will be in two days.” Jongin pats Kyungsoo’s shoulders.

Giving a small smile, Kyungsoo replied “It’s okay. “

“Bye Hyung. Be at the wedding Okay?”

“Yes” Kyungsoo smiled.

As the door closes Kyungsoo realized one thing. Jongin has a different world now. It’s not like before. Everything is different. Kyungsoo did what he thinks is right for the both of them and for himself. 

 

****

 

During the wedding Jongin was looking for Kyungsoo. He looked everywhere but he can’t see the older boy. Jongin was upset. He is upset because he can’t see his Hyung during the most memorable day of his life. For the first few hours of his wedding day he kept on thinking that Kyungsoo was just late and have to run some errands.

During the reception, He kept looking for Kyungsoo. He tried to call him but Kyungsoo’s phone was turned off. He was sad that Kyungsoo didn’t witness how he married the love of his life. 

 

 

****

 

 

It's been 10 years, and Jongin has a family now. He is happy with his two children and his wife. But sometimes he thinks about Kyungsoo. How is he doing and where he is now. He heard that he left before the day of the wedding. No one knows where Kyungsoo is even his friends and family.

 

While Jongin is driving home he passed by the tree house he built with Kyungsoo when they were still young. He decided to visit the house. As he climbed the stairs he remembered all the memories he had with his bestfriend. This tree house is the witness of all the things they did and shared.

He remembered the last day they went there together. It is the day he told Kyungsoo about his wedding. He looked around the house. The house is in total mess.

“It’s been almost ten years since I last came here. I wish I can see Kyungsoo Hyung again.” Jongin said to himself.

He was about to leave when he saw a box under the table. His name was written on top of the small box. He opened the box and saw a letter inside and read it. 

 

Dear Kim Jongin, 

 

How are you? I hope you are doing very well today and I hope you can read this letter someday. I know I have   done wrong about me not attending your wedding. I’m really sorry about that. I know you can’t forgive me easily. I realized that I couldn’t live without you. But I have to do this for myself.  You are the most special person to me. I can’t let you go. I can’t withstand you getting married because I like you Kim Jongin. I love you very much. I am full of regrets that I wasn’t able to tell you earlier. I was afraid that you wouldn’t accept my confession. I am so coward, Jongin. I wish I can turn back time but I can’t. But if I could I would go back and try to fix everything and I will not let myself fall in love with you again.

 I know when you read this you are with your family now. I just want you to be happy despite of what I did. I did it for the better. Love your family. They are your treasure now. Thank you Jongin ah~. Thank You for everything you did. Thank You for the Friendship, and Thank You for the love. You will always be the only person I loved the most and you’re still. Don’t look for me anymore because you will always be in my heart and I hope I am too. Again, I love you Kim Jongin. 

 

Love,

Do Kyungsoo

 

 

 

 

As Jongin drove home, he can’t help but to cry and reminisce the memories he shared with Kyungsoo as he whispers

“Thank You Kyungsoo Hyung, I hope you are happy too wherever you are.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-end-