+++

Both Kris and Namjoo returned to their normal daily routines the next day. After a quick breakfast they were off to work. Namjoo worked at a high brand fashion store where she often dealt with customers having problems and arranging employee schedules. Their store sold women’s’ clothes, shoes, accessories, and other miscellaneous items all around.

Bright rays from the sun usually shone in through the large display window just beside the doors. It was just the case that morning and Namjoo felt cheery as one of her favorite songs started playing overhead from the radio.

Setting a box down onto the ground she slightly danced, bobbing her head back and forth while stocking up on some shirts they were putting on sale. Starting to sing to herself since there were no customers around she began with a quiet voice and bent down to grab another shirt before carefully folding it onto display.

“My, what’s this woman think she’s doing, singing in that that voice of hers?” She heard someone comment.

Straightening up she looked forward to see an old time friend smile and wave at her. Yookyung who’d gotten married ages ago due to an arranged marriage broadened her smile when their eyes met. She was wearing a flower hat and new Chanel clothes she’d gotten recently.

“What are you doing?” Namjoo asked looking around. “I thought you were some calling me out.”

Yookyung made a face at her before looking down at the shirts slowly piling up onto the low table.

“They’re season end specials,” Namjoo explained. “Why don’t you get some?”

“My mother-in-law watches what I wear.”

“You’ll never be free of them.” Namjoo commented. “Why are you here since this kind of store doesn’t do for you?”

Resuming to stocking she turned away from Yookyung.

“What are you doing later?”

Shrugging she answered, “Go home, eat, sleep. Not like I can do anything else right now. Why?”

“You aren’t going to the airport?” Yookyung asked in such a way that she should have already had it in thought.

Namjoo lifted her eyes up to glance at her friend confused, “Airport? Why I would go to the airport?”

“You really don’t know?” Yookyung asked surprised.

Namjoo stared at Yookyung blankly and waited for her to go on. What was so special about today?

“Chanyeol comes back today. You’re really not going?”

Namjoo’s mouth opened widely upon realization. She didn’t know honestly. It’d been a while since she’d heard from him. Chanyeol had left for Japan almost a year and a half ago; flying off just a few days before her wedding. Whether it had been done intentionally or not, she chose not to ask.

Chanyeol was once known to be Kris’ best buddy. She’d known Chanyeol before he introduced her to Kris and it was probably her fault for the rift that shifted them apart. Chanyeol was now known to everyone as her best friend, not Kris’.

There was one incident a few years ago during the game King when she and Chanyeol had to make out for ten seconds. As young adults they loved the dares players came up with that spiraled up anxiety and kindred emotions. When she and Chanyeol were chosen for the dare, he bypassed the kissing time creating applause and cheers from all around. The awkwardness then spoke of something else and it was also during those times when she and Kris had something going on.

Neither of them had chosen to speak of it after.

Deciding not to play immature by distancing herself after the incident, she continued to talk to Chanyeol in the same manner she always had. It was probably naïve of her, but she’d done it.

Around the time when she and Kris started seeing each other she didn’t remember seeing the two guys together at all. Chanyeol never came out to be with them either.

She never bothered to ask if they still met up in their own time. She’d always thought it was their personal business, but now that she thought about it; it might have helped if she’d asked. When Chanyeol bid her farewell she realized then that something had gone wrong.

What really happened between the two was something she didn’t know, and asking would mean she’d have to cross a line she had no jurisdiction to.

That evening while preparing some snacks to eat after dinner, she glanced up at Kris who was seated on the couch in front of the TV flipping through the channels. He had this bored expression on and looked kind of out of the world. Not a single thing seemed to be on his mind. Namjoo couldn’t help, but wonder if he knew about Chanyeol’s return or if he thought about him at all.

Grabbing the plate she walked toward him and sat down beside him. He scooted aside a bit before draping an arm around her.

Namjoo glanced up at him while stuffing the biting onto the cracker with a slice of cheese on top slowly. She wasn’t sure if she should talk to Kris about Chanyeol. She hadn’t done it for such a long time now.

While debating she turned to look at the sitcom on TV.

“Give me one,” he said.

Grabbing a cracker she held it up for him and when he ate it, looked up at him.

“What?” He wondered, eyes set straight ahead. “You’ve been looking at me constantly. What do you want?”

“Chanyeol’s back in Seoul,” Namjoo decided to go out directly. “Did you know?”

She watched his jaw grind the cracker inside his mouth slowly and slower before it eventually stopped.

“So? You want to ask for permission to go see him?”

“That’s not what I was saying.”

“I’m not stopping you,” Kris went on. “Go on and have fun.”

Suddenly deciding not to say anymore she turned back to stare at the screen.

+++

Chanyeol stared at the evening streets starting to light up with a yellow glow as the cab drove through the enchanting district. There were still peoples taking up the walks, going in and out of stores, and drinking coffee at this time. If he had stayed, he’d be one of them too.

Turning away he leaned into the seat.

The cab finally stopped in front of his flat twenty minutes later. His car was still well hidden in the garage underground just as he’d left it. The yellow lights lit his room up to reveal his yet dusty furniture, which meant he had a lot of cleaning to do during the weekend. Everything was still in place; his kitchen table, the plates in the cupboard, his bed, and the pictures he’d left sitting around.

Instead of touching any of them, he left his luggage by the door and started toward the drawer inside his room. It was still in place beside his bed with a little lamp sitting on the smooth top. The gray dust had gathered on the hood of the lamp, but Chanyeol didn’t bother blowing it off.

Pulling the drawer open brought to his eyes the precious phone he’d set inside. The memories embedded into the phone still lay buried within his heart. It was a buy one get one half off kind of thing. Although he knew Namjoo, who’d gotten the half off phone, probably wasn’t using hers anymore he still felt like using this old phone.

As the screen came to life he waited for the picture of Namjoo he’d set as his background to pop up. It was probably time to change it if he was going to start using the phone again. Dealing with questions about why he had her in his phone would be tiring, just as the questions he’d cooped up inside him.

Having to lie, he learned, destroyed his dignity and had hurt him in all ways possible.

The worst era in his life was when Kris and Namjoo suddenly became an item. Always together and inseparable were they. They were probably still married, but like everyone else he believed they wouldn’t last long either. It was only a matter of time before they started tiring of each other.

As he sat down onto the bed he thought about how he’d prepared himself mentally and externally for days and nights for the confession that never happened.

There was this girl, he had told Kris once, that he really liked. Chanyeol wanted Kris to help him impress her, but everything backfired. Everything seemed to end for him then.

He felt destroyed when others asked if he ever liked Namjoo after realizing how close they were before her relationship with Kris, as if they only saw it after he already lost her. Chanyeol didn’t think anyone would understand how much the weight of his lies crushed him. He could probably create a book of them.  

So he never went to their wedding. Chanyeol couldn’t stand the sight of them happily together, but like the others he was just waiting for them to fall apart and make news of it. And he’d take back what was rightfully his.

+++

Kris didn’t know Chanyeol was back. If he wanted to make his presence known to every single man known on Earth, why hadn’t he broadcasted it through the news for everyone?

Gurgling the water to rinse out the toothpaste in his mouth he spat it out into the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were fixated on himself, staring deeper and deeper into the abyss of his brown eyes. The sight of him became clearer as well as the memories inside his mind; the ones he decided not to think about after putting the ring on.

Before the wedding, he heard more people wondering how long he and Namjoo would last more than the congratulations he’d received. It was ironic, but he shrugged the words off. The gossips had made him feel determined to keep the marriage going for life, but even so; people talked.

When he made a decision, he was the type to stay stubborn about it. He hoped Namjoo was just as determined as he.

His eyes popped open in the middle of the night when he heard Namjoo’s phone go off. It had been difficult to sleep suddenly. It wasn’t as if he’d been thinking much. Kris had hardly dozed off after turning the lights off and even Namjoo seemed to have abandoned him.

The phone beeped again and he continued staring at the ceiling.

Who had messaged her in the middle of the night?

He felt Namjoo move a little before reaching her arm out to grab the phone. His heart palpitated a little before he shifted over to hug her from behind just to stop her from looking at the screen. Deep inside, he had a feeling he knew who it was from.

“Put your phone away,” he mumbled.

Namjoo only patted his hand, “Just let me check. It could be my mom.”

From over her should he watched her turn her phone on before quickly taking it from her and stuck it under his pillow.

“Kris!” Namjoo twisted around to yell at him.

He pouted and complained, “I can’t sleep. Why are you getting angry at me?”

She heaved a loud sigh, “Well I can’t help you with that. Just shut your eyes and hope for it.”

She turned her back to him and readjusted her head into the pillow.

“You’re so mean,” he muttered.

After a moment of wavering silence he leaned over to put an arm around her.

“You’re not sleeping yet, are you?” He asked a second later.

“What do you want?” With a groan and a sigh.

“Should we go take a walk outside?”

Grabbing the arm he had around her she tossed it back to his side.

“Just go to sleep.” She mumbled, pulling the blanket over her she shifted away from him. “Aren’t you tired at all? What’d you do all day?”

“Maybe it’s the eel I ate.”

He heard her laugh in disbelief. To hear her do so sent him smiling.

Shifting closer he put his arm around her again.

“Stop it! I’m going to fall off!”

“Yes, then the bed will be all mine.”

Struggling to turn around to face him she started to push him back succeeding only a bit. Kris laughed at her effort and felt her throw her feet up to kick him back.

“Yah! You jerk!” She shouted. “Move a little!”

Laughing at the energy used up he watched her sit up and throw her pillow at him with a frustrated scream. Amused, he sat up and put the pillow on his lap as he looked at her.

Shooting a hand up she pushed his face away, “I can’t sleep anymore, thanks to you!”

“Ok, I’m sorry,” he gave in and placed her pillow back into spot. “Go back to sleep then.”

She shot him a tiny glare before lying back down. Kris stared down at her wishing they could’ve played or joked around a little. Adjusting the blanket over her he lay down on his side to watch her bored.

Life like this with just the two of them was just about perfect. It’d been a while since they’d spoken about having kids, but he knew well that they weren’t ready for any sort of that just yet. When it happened, it would happen. Yet, he felt like he needed some kind of guarantee that they would really last despite what others said. Maybe a child?

The real question wasn’t whether they really loved each other, it was if they were able to keep their promises made and walk toward the future hand in hand.

It was clear to him that they needed more time to bond and grow closer as one soul and not two dwindling spirits. He wasn’t worried about Namjoo’s sense of personality. She knew well right from wrong, but something still bit at the corner of his mind now that Chanyeol had come back.

That one night when he watched Chanyeol kiss Namjoo for an exceedingly long time he finally figured out who Chanyeol’s special girl was. By then it was already too late.

He was upset with the way Chanyeol had acted instead of coming straight out at him; say he had wronged him, betrayed their friendship, taken his lover. In return, Chanyeol chose not to clarify anything to him and because of that Kris never gave her up. Namjoo was then left, smacked right into the middle.

Kris never did blame her though that his and Chanyeol’s relationship dwindled.

Reaching over to brush her hair further off her face he shifted over to hug her. He loved her and no matter what, wanted his future to be with her.

Namjoo’s spot was empty the next morning. Sitting up he reached under his pillow for her phone intent on finding out who it was that had messaged her in the middle of the night. To his dismay he couldn’t find it, which all but meant that Namjoo had taken it.

Getting up he hurried down the stairs to see her whipping up something tasty in the kitchen. The oven was on and he could smell cookies.

Cookies?

Walking over he looked around and spotted other various ingredients sitting around on the counter. It looked like she was preparing a feast.

“What’s this?” He asked looking around. “What are you doing?”

“You’re awake? Good, come help me.”

He frowned, “You’re making cookies? Why?”

“Is it a crime to want cookies? Are you the dessert police or something?”

Kris glued his eyes to her wondering what was with her being so childish to him.

“Why are you so mean to me?”

“Who’s mean?” She asked, barely looking up at him.

“The only one other than me in this house.”

Never minding him she held out something for him to eat, “Here. Eat.”

“I didn’t brush my teeth yet.”

“Fine,” Namjoo pulled her hand back, but he quickly grabbed it and ate the wrap out of her hand.

“Are you in a good mood today? Is your period finally gone?” He asked playfully and jokingly as he continued to chew the food in his mouth.

Namjoo glanced up at him with a frown before shaking her head, “Aren’t you going to get dressed?”

“Why? I don’t go to work until two hours.”

Before Namjoo could go on there was a knock on their door.

“Oh,” she went, “he’s here.”

He?

Kris watched Namjoo open the door before yelling, “Hey,” and hugged whoever was there before pulling whoever was out there in.

Kris’ expression stilled when Chanyeol walked inside with a bag in hand, looking bright and happy. The big smile on his face became broader when their eyes met.

“This is why I told you to get dressed,” Namjoo told, her voice becoming distant background music.

His eyes zeroed in on Chanyeol, feet glued into spot. As much as Kris still reminisced about their friendship, he thought he still hated Chanyeol despite trying to have good thoughts about him.

What was Namjoo thinking to invite him over so early? Didn’t she know that mornings were especially reserved for them only?

“Why aren’t you greeting me?” Chanyeol walked over, stopping perfectly just in front of him.

Their eyes locked, but Kris couldn’t pull on even a fake smile. The broad curve of Chanyeol’s all-so-happy smile struck his nerves when they stared at each other.

“It’s been a while,” Chanyeol held his hand out, “friend.”