Everything around her stood to a standstill as she sat there, staring at the sky. The night sky was so beautiful. It was dotted with amazing and beautiful stars, the half moon hanged at the side, admiring the stars. The cloud playfully chased each other around, covering and uncovering the moon. The moon smiled down. But she had No reaction. Jeong semin, she used to be Son Dongwoon's girlfriend,lover,best friend, but a year and 5 months ago, They went separate ways. And since then, she came back into her shell. She built up her wall against others again and returned to being cold and quiet. It was so hard. So hard to move on,and she has absolutely no idea how she is going to move on either. Dongwoon moved on and she was no longer in his heart. He had left her. And he had forgotten about her. It was understandable, she thought. She was just a normal girl. Nothing more. So why would he even remember her? All those promises he made, she knew,were meant to be broken. But she was happy he had moved on. Over her. She wasn't good enough, and she never will be. She sighed deeply. It was one of those nights, those nights where she missed him terribly and that was when, all the pain came back to her. All the memories, the pain, but no more tears. They had dried up. There were no more tears. Dongwoon was her life. A great part of her life. She was her best friend, her lover, her crush. But some time after they were together, he became distant. No matter how much she tried to reach out, she couldn't reach him. She tried. But she's tired. So when the final stages came, she gave up. All the pain was too much. All the torture and suffering was too much. Semin lowered her head and stared at her shoes. This was going to be a long long night. She walked home slowly, passing by places she had gone with dongwoon before. Dongwoon was a sweet guy. He was shy, yet bold at the same time. He wasn't really good at words, but he tried his best. She enjoyed every single moment with him. Even during times when they had silly fights. She remembered when she waited for his text after their fight. It was kind of embarrassing noe that she had to admit it. Semin shook her head slightly, knowing the tears she assumed had dried up are soon going to come. She swallowed hard, and walked on.

- Semin opened the door to her apartment. There was still the smell of dongwoon's existence in this apartment. But he was no longer here. And she was no longer there, right there in his heart.She sighed and slumped down on her couch. As she stared at the ceiling, memories raced wildly in her mind. She smiled a little as bitter tears threatened to fall. She missed him. So much. So so much. She never really got the chance to say she loved him. And it was her shell and shyness to blame. But maybe it wasn't such a bad things after all. Or it would have hurt more,pained more. Her hands unconsciously went to the edge of the couch and grabbed the only thing he had left, his T-shirt. It was summer when he left, and this T-shirt was left there when he last visited her. After that, he was too busy. She could still foggily see his figure, walking away. He didn't tried anything to stop her. Instead,he left. That could have been the most hurtful one if there wasn't more. She apologized,to her heart,for ever allowing anyone to break her wall and even enter her shell. As the nights gets darker and get deeper, her heart became colder and hurt more. She had been living the past 1 year and 5 months in sadness and happiness. "So this is my life. I'm both sad and happy, and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be," It was so true. There were moments where she laughed so much and was so happy. But there were always moments, like tonight, where she was so depressed, with different emotions and pain pinning down on her. Everything was so hard. Semin nuzzle into the t shirt. She could still smell him. She could still imagine him, standing by the door with his arms outstretched, ready to hug her. She could still feel him, tangling her in his long arms and legs. She could still hear him, calling her name. Everything was still so clear to her. But either way, he would never come back anymore. It was a fact that she had long ago knew and accepted. Dongwoon was such a sweetie, she thought. He worried about her, he brought her warm milo when she was studying for finals, he mumbled her name when he was asleep. Everything she had with him was just bittersweet. Everything was. This very night, painful and dark night, she missed him. So much. Yet, she was unwilling to admit that. She would have liked to assume she had moved on, but it wasn't the case. And the way she missed him and how much she missed him told her that she, hadn't move on. And that she, would still be stuck, in her past, in her memories, in her bittersweet time with her still-so-lovely lover. He would always be in her heart, with that special place no one, no one could ever replace. And she was satisfied with that.