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Minho sat on the cold leather couch in the living room, his lips stumbling to pronunciate the correct syllables and his voice bouncing off the walls of the empty dorm. No light came in through the windows, but Minho had candles laid out around him for light. He liked the smell that they gave to the room, along with the serene feeling they engulfed him in, and he had rarely ever been allowed to light them.
He heard Taemin come in from the kitchen, and watched out of the corner of his eye as he sat down on the cushion next to him. He waited patiently for Minho to stop practicing before he spoke, voice alight and nonchalant.
“That sounds good.”
Minho nodded in acknowledgment. “Thanks.”
They sat in silence for a long time, Minho staring down at his hands and Taemin simply sitting, watching him as he usually did.
“You know how I feel about the candles,” Taemin stated with a laugh.
“Yeah, except you’re dead,” Minho retorted, tone chillingly monotone. Taemin’s smile disappeared immediately, his face clouding over with disbelief.
“You say that like it was my fault.”
Minho shook his head, his bitterness seeping off of him in waves. “That’s not what I meant…”
Taemin didn’t say anything, as he usually didn’t. Minho could feel Taemin’s eyes piercing his skin, burning the flesh with his soft gaze. It was odd feeling a certain way because of someone who wasn’t really there. He laid his hands on his lap along with the lyrics paper, giving himself something to stare at and concentrate his thouhghts on.
The silence seemed to eat away at him more when Taemin was there, and there were so many words that he wanted to say, but never quite seemed able to. Instead, he brought his hands back up to examine the words and began rapping once more. Taemin listened, his eyes closed as he delicately wiggled his small frame closer to Minho. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw him nodding along with the rythmn. He stopped suddenly, pulling a soft noise from the back of Taemin’s throat - a sound of disapproval.
“You stopped,” he stated.
Minho could only hum in response, instead asking, “What do you think? Of the comeback?”
Taemin smiled, shrugging lightly and giving no actual opinion. “If I talk to the Big Man, I could probably make it a hit.”
Minho laughed, the deep tone once again echoing through the silent dorm. “So God exists then?” He raised his eyebrows questioningly.
Taemin rolled his eyes with a grin and took the paper in hand, beginning to sing the parts that the other members had, expression almost nostalgic. Minho joined him, humming a melody. The elder's stomach churned the way it did when they used to make music together, the excitement beating up against his insides like a hummingbird. He couldn't help but cast a smile at the younger when he finally stopped singing, lovely voice coming to a fading end.
“That was really good,” Minho said, echoing the other boy's former words.
“The hyungs sing it better,” Taemin responded quietly with a laugh.
“Different, maybe, but not better. Your voice is special – you're special.”
Taemin laughed again, embarrassed, and shoved Minho, the elder nearly losing his balance and toppling to the floor. Minho laughed brokenly (although hiding it well) and looked back down at his hands. He could feel tears start to prick at his eyes, but smiled so that Taemin wouldn’t be able to see how much this hurt - see how his prescense was affecting him so much.
“I was gonna go to bed,” Minho finally mumbled, quiet and reserved.
Taemin nodded, a smile filled with disappointment on his face. “Okay, that’s fine.”
“I’m sorry.” The elder spoke, and he hoped his voice would break so that Taemin would decide to stay. It's all he ever wanted.
“Hey, don’t be sorry. I came around pretty late.” Taemin responded, but he doesn't answer how Minho wished he would. “I’ll see you then, alright? Goodnight, hyung.”
“Night…”
Taemin stood and waved before he left the room, smile as brilliant as Minho remembered it always being. Minho stayed glued to the couch long after their lost maknae left, tears streaming down his cheeks until the other members returned home.
“,” he muttered, wiping at his eyes impatiently. When they didn’t stop, he stood quickly, leaving the couch in a haste so that the hyungs wouldn't see his sad state. He strode towards his bedroom with a slam of the door behind him, and tore his clothes off of his body before climbing beneath his cold blankets. He pulled them up over his head and clung at his pillows as he let his tears stream freely down his cheeks, having never been so vulnerable before having to say goodbye to the maknae – the one that he had sworn to always take care of.
He didn’t dare make any noise - he hadn’t in a long time, not since he lost Taemin.
---
“Yeah, I’ve got most of the choreography down,” The rapper explained the following week at the dance studio, cloud backdrop bringing back too many memories that he would rather forget.
Jonghyun shrugged and took the time to tie the ratty laces of his practice shoes. “I haven’t gotten any of it down.”
Kibum and Jinki had yet to arrive due to conflicting schedules. It would be only them that day, and to be honest, they all had a bit of an awkward relationship since they lost the younger. It seemed that he had been the glue holding them together.
Minho laughed at the nonchalant response, hiding his true feelings. Taemin wouldn't be happy with such an attitude, he thinks.
He turned towards the mirror, eyes taking in his scruffy, tired appearance and lips curving into a frown. Sighing, he signaled for Jonghyun to press play, cuing the music. His feet moved, arms and body twisting to the beat and hitting the choreography points perfectly. He couldn't help the satisfied smile that graced his features when he had thought executed one particularly difficult move perfectly.
“That was wrong,” A voice – Taemin - whispered into his ear, causing Minho to jump. He halted his moves, glancing over at the younger with annoyance, conscious enough to not open his mouth.
“Sorry,” he spoke to Jonghyun, “I slipped up a bit there. But you see how it goes, right?” With a nod of approval from the elder, he turned back to the choreography as the music started again. He wished Taemin away, silently pleading. He began to dance again, making sure to get the steps just right that time so that their former dance would just leave him alone.
“Oh, there you go. You did it right that time,” Taemin teased anyways moments later, much to the elder's disappointment. Minho only simply shook his voice away and concentrated on keeping his feet moving.
Taemin stood next to him, mimicking the choreography as Minho continued.. He could slowly feel anger rising up within him, and it took one more perfect twist from Taemin to make Minho stop completely. Through the mirror, Minho caught Jonghyun watching him with uncertainty.
“Are you okay?” The singer asked, eyebrows furrowing as he watched the younger with concern swimming in his eyes.
“I just – yeah,” Minho responded, voice distant as he ran a hand through his damp hair. “I’m just not really feeling well. I, um—I think I’m gonna go home…”
Jonghyun nodded, standing closer to Minho. “Okay, yeah, that’s fine. We’ll finish tomorrow. I'm gonna go out tonight, so-”
“Yeah, fine. That's fine.” Minho spoke, grabbing his jacket. “Sorry about this.”
He didn’t wait for an answer from Jonghyun before he left the practice room. He could hear Taemin following him and through the tears, he wished he wouldn’t. He climbed in his car and started it before Taemin even had the chance to get in, and drove, hands shaking as he clutched the steering wheel – desperately wishing to be at the dorm already. After he pulled up in the parking garage, he climbed the stairway swiftly until he reached his safe haven, slamming the door behind him. He nearly ran back out when he saw the reason for his broken mentality standing there, staring silently, in the foyer.
“Oh, off!” Minho shouted, his eyes b with tears and his heart racing so that he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.
Taemin reached out to touch the elder’s arms soothingly, eyes pleading. “Hyung, wait -"
“No!” Taemin cowered slightly at the hostility in Minho's tone. “No, I’m not listening to you anymore! I’m not living my life waiting for you to show up again.”
“Hyung, I just wanted to say I’m sorry…”
“You’re sorry? It took you this long to realize that you might have something to be sorry for?” Taemin stepped backwards, lowering his head. “I buried you, Taemin! I buried you… I don’t need you coming back over and over, reminding me that you’re gone. You’re not helping me, Tae…”
“I’m sorry,” Taemin choked out in a whisper - pleaded for forgiveness.
“You just make this so ing hard… I just want time to get through this and you’re not letting me—you’re driving me insane, Tae!”
“I just thought I might be helping you and—and I miss you too.” His voice was small, like a pebble dropping into a stream.
Minho sighed heavily, swallowing thickly as he gathered his senses. “I get that, baby… I do.” Minho reached out and touched Taemin’s cheek, caressing the smooth, cold skin with care. “But this isn’t fair…”
Taemin nodded, leaning into Minho’s loving caress. “I know… I’m sorry… I—I promise I’ll let you be. I can’t promise I’ll stop watching you.”
Minho laughed, breaking through the icy tension that had formed. “That’s okay. I’ll still look at pictures of you.”
Taemin smiled weakly, nodding in agreement. “As long as you don’t cry.” Minho laughed lightly once more at that. He knew Taemin was already asking too much of him. “You know I’m okay. And that I’ll never really be gone…”
Minho could feel the sobs clawing at his stomach. Soon, they would control him. He looked down and felt the tears begin to fall through his long eyelashes, taking his bottom lip between his teeth to muffle his pathetic whimpering. He shook his head, trying to make them disappear. Then he heard Taemin step towards him, and wished that he really was there – wished that it was lovely, breathing, living Taemin, not a ghost wracking him with sorrow.
“I’m sorry,” Minho began, his voice cracking. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you…”
Taemin wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in the crook of the elder's neck. “It’s okay, hyung.” Minho squeezed him tightly in return, wishing to never let go and kissing the top of his head.
Taemin guided the broken man towards the bedroom and laid him down in the bed, where he tucked the blankets up under his arms and sat on the edge of the bed, much like Minho used to when they were younger and carefree. He Minho’s black locks of hair lovingly, smiling as sweetly as he used to.
“Are you gonna sleep okay?”
“I think so,” Minho mumbled, closing his tired eyes for a moment.
“Okay, I’m gonna go then.”
Minho merely nodded and squeezed Taemin’s hand, unwilling to let go. He needed to, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
“I love you,” he croaked, his eyes spilling tears that had never really left.
“I know,” The younger soothed, and somehow, it made it a little bit better. “I love you too…”
Taemin leaned down and placed a soft kiss upon Minho’s forehead, lingering a moment for his longing lips. He stood and started for the door slowly, Minho smiling weakly and waving slightly as a farewell. He reminded Taemin of a small child, much like he used to be, and he longed to climb back into bed with him and wrap his arms around the elder's thinning waist, but he knew that Minho was right - he needed to give him space.
And he did try, breaking his promise only in the darkest hour of night to return to his home and lay a soft, teary goodnight kiss on his lonely lover’s cheek.
A/N: This doesn't exactly fit the prompt, but it's all I could come up with due to my awful case of writer's block. Hopefully I'll be back to updating regularly soon~
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