I could hear the crowd's cheers.

I could hear the last chorus of Maknae's solo song play.

I could hear my heart palpitating wildly.

I gulped down whatever saliva that I had in my mouth.

My first solo stage since the... accident.

Could I do it? Did I have the confidence to stand alone in front of the VIPs again? Would I be able to laugh as brightly as I did before? Should I even perform? No one would want to watch a killer, a murderer, sing, wouldn't they. I was not worthy of their time, not worthy of their attention.

Suddenly, I felt a hand clamping down on my shoulder, stilling my trembling. Huh. I was so scared that I had not even noticed my tremors. I turned around to see who was behind me. Jiyong Hyung had his hand stretched out, squeezing my shoulder. Beside him stood Seunghyun Hyung and Youngbae Hyung, both smiling widely at me. I forced on a smile, trying to hide my true worries. Coming forward, Youngbae Hyung enveloped me with a huge hug.

"Daesungie, don't doubt yourself. You can do it. Go out there, and prove those haters wrong. We know you can do it! We love you, always remember that. Fighting!!" Hyung tightened his arms around me as he whispered those words into my ears. He then let me go, and held me at an arm's length, looking at me up and down. Squeezing my shoulders once more, he let go and stepped back.

"Don't worry! You'll do perfectly fine. I believe in you! And I'm never wrong, am I! Fighting!" Jiyong Hyung offered similar words of comfort for me, telling me to just enjoy myself in the music.

Seunghyun Hyung did not say a word, he just looked at me. Pressing his lips together, he just stared into my eyes, conveying to me how much he believed in me.

I found the smile on my face growing more natural, more relaxed. Small tears were gathering in the corner of my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away, hoping my makeup did not get rubbed off as well. I nodded back at my Hyungs, not trusting myself to say anything.

The last few notes of the song sounded. Little Seunghyun got off stage, running straight towards me. He grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. I gripped him back, ignoring the glistening sweat and slight panting coming from him. What he whispered into my ear boosted my confidence by leaps and bounds.

"You. Are. Big. Bang. No matter what anyone says. Daesung Hyung, Fighting!!"

Yes… Yes, I was Kang Daesung, Kang Daesung of Bigbang. I had nothing to fear, nothing to worry about. I could do it.

The starting chords of Wings, my solo song, started to echo through the concert hall. The cheers from the VIPs in the crowd seemed to grow a little louder, if possible. Little Seunghyun let go of me and helped me to straighten my outfit. I smiled at my members, a genuine one this time, one last time, before turning around again, on the lift that would bring me up to the stage, to the fans.

I sent up a quick prayer, thanking God for my dear members, and praying that the next three minutes and forty-three seconds would pass by smoothly.

It was now or never.

I heard my cue, and started to sing, the lift bringing me up, high above the stage. I was too nervous, and missed the ending note of one of the verses once. I winced slightly, but carried on nonetheless. My members believed in me. I could not, no, would not, let them down.

The song carried on smoothly. I felt as if I was regaining my confidence, bit by bit. I sang my heart out, putting all my emotions, my soul, into the song. The time came, where I was supposed to "fly" around the stadium with those big white wings on my back. Stepping into the metal loop that would bring me up, I wrapped my hand into the leather loop above in a death grip. I was still afraid of heights, afraid of falling.

But as I was lifted into the air, I felt... strangely liberated. As I moved through the air, I stretched my free hand out. Closing my eyes, I reveled in the feeling of just being free. I felt as if I was high above my problems, high above whatever tried to pull and put me down. I smiled. A really wide, really genuine one. The tears were regathering in my eyes, but I held them back once again.

I was happy. I was free. I was... Me again.

I realised I had lost part of myself during the events that took place. Then, during the accident, I had not gotten any physical injuries, but other parts of me had been injured. My courage, my heart, my passion. Now, I felt as if those injuries had healed. The hurt and pain had finally faded, like how the pain from a physical injury faded after the wound closed. Of course, all injuries would leave scars. These scars would always remind me of what happened. Maybe those scars would never fade, but in a way, I was grateful for the scars. Grateful for that constant reminder that I would always have, reminding me never to commit the same mistake ever again. Once bitten, twice shy, right?

I had overcome all the hard times, coming back out even stronger. But I could not have done it without my members, and my family. Well, in a sense, they were all my family. I smiled again. I could not have asked for a better family.

Touching back down onto the stage, I felt a slight sense of loss. Flying through the air had really helped me to clear my mind and my problems. I missed it, surprisingly. But I knew that I would be back up there again, in the next concert. And the next, and the next, and the next. And even if our tour was completed, I would still have my family to back me up, to give me the feeling of flying once more.

The song was drawing to a close. I sang the last few more lines, then I stood in the middle of the stage, looking down to the floor, frozen in a pose. I was panting, sweating, but I had never felt better. That sense of liberation just overtook whatever else I was feeling. As the last chord was played, a loud cheer echoed from the crowd. The middle section, the one right in front of the stage, stood up, clapping and cheering for me. Other sections took their cue, and joined in the standing ovation, till the entire hall was cheering for me. I looked up at them, my fans, my VIPs, till the lights dimmed and slowly shut off.

I had been wrong before. My family did not only consist of the Bigbang members and my blood related family. The VIPs were also part of my family, the ones that gave me strength and direction when I needed it. For the third time tonight, I was moved to tears once more.

I followed that small light near to the entrance to backstage, carefully avoiding everything in case I tripped. As I entered the back, I heard cheering and whooping as well. From no other than my four beloved members, my brothers. I did not even bother holding back my tears, letting them flow free and unconstrained. My makeup would have to be redone later on, but for now, I could not care less. I launched myself into Seunghyun Hyung's arms, and he hugged me back tightly.

"I'm so proud of you, Daesungie. Listen to the VIPs. They're still cheering for you out there. We love you, they love you. We'll all always be here for you." I nodded, still in his arms. I could feel the other members patting my back excitedly, praising me, and shouting encouragement. I felt like I belonged, like nothing anyone could say to bring me down.

Little Seunghyun usually joked around, his words sometimes not making much sense. But what he had told me right before I had gone on stage, I would probably remember for life.

"You. Are. Big. Bang. No matter what anyone says. Daesung Hyung, Fighting!!"

Yes, I would. I would keep on fighting, no matter what happened, no matter how bad.

After all, I had my big, huge family, one that loved me, standing behind me.

With people like them as backup, who would give up?

 

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Today, on a day like this, she says
We should break up and she’s sorry – on our anniversary
Today, I am squeezed between many people
As I hang my head low, I try to avoid them (I hate myself for being this way)

Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen
It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah
I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump
Woo hoo woo – right now

Today, when it gets really lonely, I get crazily sad
But no one understands, what to do?
Today, I think, why am I the only one who’s suffering like this?
Saying that everyone is happy are all lies – I won’t believe it – say 1, 2

Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen
It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah
I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump

I will become a sad protagonist in this world
And I will hurt in place of you, I’ll become your wings
I believe you, I believe you
Believe in me, believe in me
Because everything will pass

Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen
It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah
I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump

 

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Yup. That's my first Bigbang Fanfic:) Hope you enjoyed it! Leave a comment if you did, it will really help me improve! THANKS:D