1/4/14  [Trans] @1215thexiahtic: My friend Hyukjae who came to watch my musical yesterday.. Although he's Eunhyuk nowㅋ I'm still more comfortable with Hyukjae. My friend that I have no boundaries with.  the only one in this world!! Even now, if I'm with you, it feels like I'm back to those days when I was a primary school kid who believed in Santa Claus.  I'm always sorry, and thank you.

Once again, it was Twitter that got him in trouble. 

He didn’t know there was a problem until he got questioning tweets from some foreign fans.  Apparently Jaejoong received some too.  (Lucky Yoochun with no Twitter account, he thought.) 

Because now here was Jae furiously texting him – “Yah, Junsu-yah, ‘the only friend in the world you have no boundaries with’???  What about the 10 years we’ve had together??  We’re not friends like that?” 

And Junsu wasn’t sure what got into him, because for once he threw caution to the winds:  “Are we, hyung?  Have we had a good talk lately?  I never see you.  At least he comes to my shows.”  He’d pressed send before he could have second thoughts.

The silence from Jaejoong was deafening.  Junsu wondered if perhaps hyung hadn’t actually seen his text, but he wasn’t going to send it again, and he was too proud to ask about it.  So he just stewed.  He didn’t want to believe that Jaejoong-hyung would just ignore what he’d said (assuming he’d seen the text), but his hyung’s lack of contact of any kind reinforced Junsu’s feelings of neglect and distance.  He knew they were all busy at the end of the year, particularly him, (and Yoochun was somewhere on a boat filming in the South Sea), but it was a brand new, never-before-seen musical and Junsu was creating the lead role of Ji-Wook.  There’d been lots of performances.  Surely Jaejoong could have found time to attend one!  He’d never come to see Elizabeth either, even the second run of performances.  It just ing hurt.

So it was a good thing that the musical was taking a ten day break and Junsu had a vacation planned.  He was headed, with his manager and some cousins, to a gorgeous tropical resort in Bali.  He rather desperately needed to get far away from Korea, relax someplace beautiful and clear his head.

**

Junsu wasn’t usually a morning person, but for some reason he’d awakened before dawn, feeling restless.  His manager and cousins were still asleep, recovering from a late night drinking session.  Being tired and not a drinker, he’d left them to their fun and retired early.  Now he was awake and the thought of experiencing sunrise over the sea suddenly came into his brain.  He’d wanted some time alone, and this seemed the best way to get it.  He tiptoed across the floor of the villa and snuck out.  His solitary walk took him up the coast, eastward to view the morning’s sunrise.  The beach was deserted, the only sound the lapping of waves on the sand and the cry of seagulls as they winged across the sky.  He watched, mesmerized as the sun slowly emerged from the sea, it’s reflection shimmering in the water, staining the mackerel rolls of clouds above, first red, then orange, then golden yellow, finally shifting to bright white tropical sun and white clouds against a glorious blue sky.  He felt more refreshed and relaxed than he had in months. 

His vacation in this tropical paradise was short.  He’d be returning to Korea in a day and a half, back to a busy schedule of performing in December while trying to write songs for a new JYJ album.  Thoughts of JYJ led to thoughts of Jaejoong.  He wasn’t sure why his hyung’s lack of contact bothered him so much … scratch that, he did know, but he wasn’t going to think about that.  There really was nothing for it, but to let go of his hurt feelings, contact Jae when he got back, and try to get their relationship back on a stronger footing.

***

Jaejoong had been shocked when he received Junsu’s text.  It was like a glass of ice-cold water being thrown in his face and he just didn’t have a response … or at least any response he was willing to send in a text.  The words cut into him, but as he considered them he couldn’t deny their accuracy.  Somewhere over the last four years his youngest member had morphed from a cute macknae to a y, dancing machine and increasingly handsome man, recognized as one of the top vocalists in Asia.  No, Jaejoong hadn’t gone to see Junsu perform in Elizabeth.  It was hard enough watching him kiss that actress in Tears from Heaven.  The pictures he’d seen of Junsu portraying Death had rocked him, and then there was “Tarantellegra,” and the incredibly y concert version of “Lullaby,” not to mention his scintillating dancing in “No Reason” and “Turn it Up.”  Why Jaejoong subjected himself to the torture of watching Junsu being so y in those live concert fancams, he didn’t know.

No, Jae was doing his best to keep the feelings Junsu evoked in him buried deep where no one, and certainly not Junsu, could see them. 

But he couldn’t deny his macknae was hurting, so he contacted his manager to get him what he needed, and told him that under no circumstances was Junsu or his manager to know.  He was heartened when Junsu commented on his text about his Christmas decorations still being up, though he had to laugh at the lameness of his comment.  Surely Su-yah knew that he’d moved a long time ago.  Was he fishing for an invitation to visit?  At least he seemed he wanted to maintain contact.

***

Junsu was quite pleased with his first performance of December after his vacation.  Backstage beforehand he’d been feeling both relaxed and excited about getting back to performing.  Seeing other musicals at the end of his vacation had been fun, as well as inspiring, and he’d resolved to work even harder to perfect his own performance.  So he was gratified with the standing ovation he and the cast had received tonight, feeling he might just actually have deserved it.   

As he removed his make-up he glanced around at the flowers gracing his dressing room.  Fans and friends had really out done themselves this time.  His favorite though, was a simple, but graceful arrangement of purple orchids and bamboo stalks.  He snapped a quick picture of it with his cell phone.  Annoyingly, there was not even a card with this one, so all he could do was speculate who might have the insight into his taste to provide something so appealing.  

A soft knock on the door disturbed his reverie.  “Come in,” he called and turned back to the sink to finish removing his make-up.  He heard the door open, but then there was just silence.  He finally looked up.

“Hyung?”  His eyes were wide with shock.

“Nice flowers.”

“What are you doing here, hyung?”

Jaejoong shrugged, unwrapped his scarf from around his face, and stepped out of his long coat.  “Seeing your show.  Did I misunderstand?  That is what you wanted me to do, isn’t it.”

“Oh, hyung, you watched it?!”  And before he knew what was happening Jae was fighting for breath as Junsu grabbed him in an impossibly tight bear hug.

The pressure on his chest started him coughing and Junsu hurriedly let go.  “I’m sorry, hyung.  I forgot you’re still recovering from smoking.  So what did you think?  Did you like it?” he asked eagerly.

“You did a great job.”  Jaejoong smiled wryly.  “You made me cry.  All that longing for lost love.  Cuts a little close.”

“I can imagine it might.”  He turned back to the counter and began to pack up his make-up bag.  “I’m almost done here.  Would you like to get a bite to eat or something?”

“That’d be great.  And maybe a drink.”

Junsu continued gathering his things and straightening up so everything would be ready for the next day’s performance.  While he waited, Jaejoong perused the numerous photos, thank you’s and messages of congratulations taped to the mirror and read the cards on the flowers. 

“So, did you enjoy yourself?  All that kissing…”

Junsu turned back to him with a quizzical look.  “The kissing?  Really, hyung?  That’s what you asked me about the last time you came to see me in a musical.  Is this an obsession of yours?” 

“No, of course not.”  Jaejoong felt his face getting hot.

Junsu had a strange look in his eye.  “You are obsessed.”  He advanced on Jaejoong who backed away until his back slammed up against the dressing room door.  “You’re blushing.  What’s this about, Jae?”  Jaejoong’s doe eyes were wide as Junsu came close, resting his hands on the door on either side of his head.  “Are you jealous?  Curious?  Want a taste?”  Jae dropped his eyes, unable to hold Junsu’s intense gaze any longer.

Junsu cupped Jae’s chin and tilted his head, bent down and brushed his lips gently against his hyung’s.  He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t the low moan that escaped Jae’s lips, nor the hand that reached around his waist and pulled their bodies together.  Jae tasted delicious, and Junsu couldn’t keep himself from taking another kiss, firmer and longer this time.  There was wonder in his heart when he realized Jaejoong was kissing him back.  He groaned himself then, as Jae’s tongue tentatively explored his mouth and he responded in kind.  Their kisses became more passionate.  The heat was rising between them.  He could feel the bulge in Jaejoong’s pants pressing against his own. 

He broke off then.  “Is it really me you want, hyung?” he whispered.  “Or are you just and I’m here?”

Jae was silent, not looking at him, and Junsu turned away.  “OK, that’s what I thought.”

Jae grabbed his hand then, and pulled him around.  “It’s you, Su-yah.  It’s been you for a while.”

“Really?  You’re not just saying that to make me happy?”

“Would it make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“That song you like, “Modern Beat?”  That’s about you.”  He sang softly: 

“Dazzling hot sun, feels like it’s within me, melts away, Oh yeah-

Dance with me, like the ever shinning sun, always the same.

Your delightful appearance

I’m in love this afternoon with all your smiling looks Oh yeah-“

“And the other?  Have you given up on him?”

“It’s been 3 ½ years without a single contact, Su-yah.  And Lord knows, I tried.  I think he may have found a new love in Changminnie.  It’s over whether I want it to be or not.”

“You’re not really over him, though.”

“I’m trying, Su-yah.”

“If you liked me so much, hyung, why have you been so distant?  Why didn’t you come to see anything I’ve done over the last year and a half?  Do you know how much that hurt?”

He shivered as Jae touched his cheek with his hand.  “I’m sorry, Su-yah.  I’ve been a coward.  I figured I wouldn’t be able to hide my desire for you if I came to your shows.  You shone, you shine so brightly.  I didn’t think I could handle my heart being broken again if you rejected me.” 

“I wouldn’t have rejected you.”

“I am totally surprised you aren’t rejecting me right now.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time, hyung.  I just never had any hope you’d see me.  Heck, I started to think you hated me.  I thought it wouldn’t be long before you’d tell me there was no need for a JYJ and to just go away.”  He couldn’t stop his tears.  “I feel so lonely sometimes.”

Jae wrapped the macknae in his arms and kissed his forehead.  “I’m lonely too, Su-yah.  Come home with me tonight.  We can have our own private housewarming party.”

Junsu smiled at him.  “I could help you forget that other person.”

Jaejoong grinned.  “And tomorrow night we can have a housewarming party at your house and you can help me forget some more.”

“Oh?  Are you coming to the show again?”

“Yes, and I’m bringing friends.” 

“Are they invited to the housewarming party?”

“No.  We’ll ditch them first.”

Junsu smiled as he closed and locked the dressing room door behind them and Jae linked arms with him as they walked down the hall.

“You do know your leading lady is in love with you, don’t you?” questioned Jae slyly.  “I’m sorry you’re going to have to disappoint her.” 

“Just don’t go beating up on her until after the show is over, OK?  I need to maintain the illusion for the audience.”

“Your manager, too.”

“My manager?!”

“I can be very jealous.”

“So can I, Jae.  So you’d better behave yourself, or I’ll crash your birthday party and upset all the fangirls.

Junsu laughed out loud at the panicked expression on Jaejoong’s face. 

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

“I’ll just have to take back those flowers, I sent you.”

“You sent me flowers?”

“I did.  The purple orchids with the bamboo.”

Junsu pulled him into a tight hug and gave him a long kiss, leaving him rather breathless.  Jaejoong watched as Junsu pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing now?”

“Getting myself in trouble again on Twitter.”

@1215thexiahatic  Jaejoongie sent me flowers!  I love you, hyung.  Let’s stay together forever!

Jaejoong thought they probably looked like grinning fools as they walked arm in arm the rest of the way to their cars. 

Author's Note:  If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment.  It's my first attempt at JaeSu.