Nana woke up from her dream land, as soon she got up, she headed to the bathroom, dressed up nicely, and brought her bag with her to the living room. She prepared her breakfast by herself since she was living by herself in her apartment. Nana hated the silence in the house. She the taps, and played any serene songs on her phone that morning. When she was done eating breakfast, she went back to her room, she looked at the picture on the table next to her bed and smiled.

"I'm going now," Before closing the door behind her.

Nana made sure that everything was in place and locked the house' doors. She checked her wrist watch and a smile adorned her lips while walking on the side walk with her earbuds on as she nodded her head in the process. At 7:30, she was at the bus stop and at 7:45, the bus came. By 8:30 in the morning she was at the campus heading for her class even though she still had thirty minutes left. She entered her class without wandering around and as the time go by people were filling up the big classroom until the morning class began. Lunch break came and there she met her friends. Exchanging their little chatter to each other with their laughter heard near to their vicinity. All smiles here and there, which could be seen the whole lunch. After her thrity minutes break and meeting up with her friends. By 12:30, she went to her last class for the day until 1:30 came and that was the end of her day at her college.

Once again, she checked her watch on how much time she had left for the next bus that afternoon. She had to take the bus at two and be there at the residential area where she lives at 2:45. Nana entered her little apartment and again she the music player of her phone. She took an hour break before studying and made herself a dinner for the night. Then the night time came, she smiled at the sight of the picture near to her bed. She stared at it and bid goodnight to that photo before closing her eyes that evening.

The next morning, her routine repeats again. All the things she had to do were always scheduled. Nana wanted everything in place she hated disarrays. Never she like disorderliness inside her apartment. And she hated silence for almost a year. She hated the deadly silence around her apartment since that day. She was fearing of something and she feared death. As soon she entered the house she would either her music player on her phone which she always does or either turned the TV on. Although she doesn't like watching. Nana would always put herself to work even though there was nothing to do at all. Study in her room, or checked the news on the internet. She would either ask her friends to go out somewhere or her friends would ask her out. On weekends, the young lady would put herself to a busy body at work. Sending smiles to the customers at the cafe she works at and she would be done for the day again. By monday, the history would repeat again.

When she had days off her friends would ask her to go to a club. Nana kind of dislike the place but it was better than staying at home with nothing to do at all. She convinced herself that being in the club would help her forget remembering anything in the past. The place was loud and hot. Any sorts of people were there to have fun or get laid if they wanted to. Her friends were one of the important people in her life. They were there to fill that hole in her heart. Making her smile and made her forget the painful pass. Chatting away hectically with her friends and let the music control her for the night. Especially, Lizzy who is her bestfriend. The younger woman wanted to make sure she enjoyed her stay with them. She wanted to take her away from those painful nights that she had. Behind those smiles she knew that she still misses the girl. Though it couldn't be helped, she too would be in the same position if that certain occasion happened to her. Lizzy was happy to see the older that she was back in her normal life. Slowly, but surely she knew that she was getting over it.

It was Raina's birthday, Raina took the girls somewhere and of course it was all on her. The other girls knew where they were going, but Nana had no idea where their destination was, at first. The other girls were pretending that they didn't know anything. The blonde scoffed and stared at the window as she watched the views outside of the car. 

"Come on, tell me where are we going?" Nana asked again.

"How many times I have told you that I don't know where." Lizzy answered.

"Ask our birthday driver over there since she is the one driving this car not me or anyone else." Uee answered and pointed at Raina.

"Just wait guys, we're almost there." Nana took her earbuds out and turned her music player on. Although Raina didn't say anything Nana had intuitions where they were going. She didn't want to ruin the birthday girl's wish, so she just let her where she wanted to take them. Thirty minutes later, they stopped in front of a club, and one of the  popular clubs in Seoul. Not to mention, a gay club.

"We're here finally, anyways, just order what you want since it's my treat." Raina told the girls before they went out of the car. 

When they entered the club, the loud music was already making its way to Nana's ears. She sighed, but she had to enjoy this night and she didn't want to upset her friend. She also added that Lizzy was so bad at acting in the car. She was so obvious when she was asking where they were going. She had that silly smiles and eye contact to Kaeun or Uee. Maybe she had to tell the girl to take acting classes next time if she were going to act at all.

"Kaeun take that table over there." 

Uee told the younger girl, but Nana left her friends in a little while to buy a drink of her own. The other girls just let her where she wanted to be at. Nana ordered her drink while scanning her eyes through the crowd. She didn't notice that someone sat next to her until that person spoke.

"You must be Nana?" Nana turned to look at the girl beside her. 

She recognized her and she tried to remember where she had seen her before. She was about to answer when the girl spoke again.

"I'm Jessica, I'm sure we've met before. I'm Raina's cousin's friend."

"Oh yeah, I remember." Nana paused since she had nothing in mind to talk about, but Jessica resumed their little chit chat to erase the awkwardness around them.

"Why don't you dance? Look at your friends, they are so into it." Nana shook her head.

"I'll pass, maybe later?"Jessica smirked.

"Ok, then, but you know what? I'm going to be straight, your friend Raina asks me to hook up with you. She wanted you to find someone to be busy with. She's only worried about you and I can see in you that you're not interested. Don't worry, it's fine. We can just pretend." Nana laughed.

"Never knew Raina would get worried about me?"

"Well she only told me that you'r-"

"I know I'm so busy, maybe working my off too much." Jessica noticed this and stopped that topic as she changed it to something else. 

Nana quickly cut her off, because she had reasons, and she didn't want to feel hurt just to only remember her past. She felt like dying whenever she remembered it. 

She just went along with Jessica and joined the other girls dancing. Jessica didn't make any advances because she knew it that deep down in her heart that she still loves her and no one could ever replace her. But she also mentally told herself that someday she would find the person that's just right for her, Jessica thought.

After the partying and enjoying herself with her friends. She was once again back to her apartment. She got rid off her dress and wore her night gown. That night she couldn't sleep, it was already two in the morning, but still the sleepiness never gets her. She turned to the small table next to her bed and held the little portrait while staring  at it with a bitter smile. 

"I miss you, stupid. You're so unfair." Nana let out a sad giggle.

"How come? I miss your laughs around this house, the annoying noise you make, and your little pranks on me everytime. I don't understand how you never get fat? When you always eat more than me?" Nana pouted.

"Whenever I ate a lot which I thought I ate that much. I'm worried when my stomach bulges out." Nana giggled. 

"How silly am I, right?" She held the portrait near to her chest and slept peacefully that night.

A month later again, she always sticks with her timely routine. She went out of her apartment and reached the bus stop at 7:30. At 7:45, the bus came and got on with her earbuds on. Watching the views through her window while waiting for the bus to stop in front of her campus. Finally, 8:30 in the morning, she made her way to her class and listened to the boring lessons for the day. By lunch, there she met her friends, exchanging like news, or rumours to them. Forgetting all the worries regarding her studies till the her time came. She strutted along the hallway as she reached her last class for the day. Thirty to one her class ended. She went out of that room and walked a little bit around the campus before leaving the campus grounds. She took a look at the time on her watch. Usually, Nana took the bus in front of her campus, but this time. She took a different route, the bus came a little later. She paid for the fee and took her transfer. The young lady loves music, but never she grabbed her phone out of her bag that afternoon. She watched silently on her seat. There were so many things she had in mind at that moment and her smiles on her lips were no where to be found. She got off the bus after the fifteen minutes ride. She stopped by the flower shop and smiled at the older woman.

"Good afternoon," Nana bowed a little.

"Good afternoon to you, we have lots of variety of flowers here just pick that you set your eyes on." The older woman smiled.

"I will, thanks." 

Nana looked around the flower shop until she found the flower she was looking for.  A pink camellia, and Nana bought a bouquet of it before leaving the shop. She took another bus again and got off in front of big compound. A lady entered with her, but as soon as she entered the place she took a turn to her right while Nana resumed walking straight to her destination. She held the flowers tightly near to her chest. The cold air brushed her skin and let out a small smile. She finally saw the tree standing alone in the middle of the compound. She walked carefully because she didn't want to offend someone. Although she knew they weren't there physically anymore. She knew they were there watching over her without her able to see them. She stopped by in front of the tree. She sat on the grass and placed the flowers in front of the stone. She prepared a little prayer before smiling at it sadly.

"How are you?" She giggled.

"People might think of me as one insane girl talking to the dead, but I don't care, let them think what they want." And continued.

"I bought these flowers for you. You know Joo? I miss you a lot, why are you so unfair? Leaving me alone here and you didn't even wait for me? Why are you in a hurry? Stupid." She said quietly. Tears began to fall and it fell on the flowers she bought at the flower shop. 

"You promised me, to stay with me by my side everytime. Make me smile when I'm sad. Geez, I'm like a kid now." She paused and brushed those tears away with her fingers.

"But I knew how you fought that disease for years, but that didn't stop me from loving you because of it. Ok, I know I may look like childlish because of this rant. But seeing you suffer is more than painful for me to see. I know you didn't want to go, but I have to accept it, shouldn't I?" She sighed.

Nana stared at the tree behind the head stone and smiled.

"You must be lucky to have a tree to lean on whenever you want to?" Nana paused.

"Wait for me, huh? But I hope you act as my guardian angel and watch me to see my success someday."

"Don't worry, if I ever find someone. In my heart you will still be the one and I will never forget you just remember, Lee Jooyeon. I love you." 

Nana looked back, she swore she felt something wrapped around her torso. A sligtly cold breeze passed her, and smiled. She touched the well carved name on the headstone. Nana really missed Jooyeon, but she had to wait and sometimes waiting could be worth in the end.

"Is that your way of saying you love me too?" Nana giggled.

"Joo, I really miss you around my apartment. I miss you a lot."

The blonde stayed a little before leaving the cemetery that afternoon. Jooyeon stood watching the girl that she loved for years. She couldn't believe that her girlfriend still loves her. She was glad that she was there during the times of her sufferings of cancer until the end she was still there and never left her side. She wanted to hold her like before, but she knew that it was impossible to happen. Jooyeon watched the girl leaves the place and smiled before coming back to her little sanctuary.

Finally, another JooNa fic. I'm sorry, it's always a sad JooNa fic. Next time or maybe next time I will make a happy ending. I just felt sad and didn't feel like to make a happy ending to it. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this ==' ugh, yeah.