| Height Monster |

You haven’t realized yet what you and your boyfriend’s plans are for your fifth anniversary. Still, it hasn’t sunk in to you that the two of you had been dating for such a long time. At least for you it is a long time because your relationship required catching up through phone calls, text messaging, chatting on a social networking site and meeting each other on Skype. It was a tough decision that the both of you to have to bear, and the fact that his family disapproves the idea of him having a girlfriend just worsened out the whole scenario. He was the eldest and only boy in his family; a reason why his mother was very protective of his son.

You thought that it was only a good parenting habit. However, when the two of you graduated from college, his mother insisted pushing him to go to Canada where their other relatives are – even though your boyfriend doesn’t want to. You knew that it was to break the connection of the both of you. You only saw his mom once, when she coincidentally passed by the street where you and your boyfriend are walking and holding each other’s hands while looking for a nice restaurant to dine at. She was wearing an elegant dress and brought a white Chanel bag you thought was suited for a formal event, while you suited yourself in a white cardigan with an inner black sleeveless top, a pair of jeans and your classic rubber shoes of color white which is turning to be an off-white; beige to reconsider. You thought that you were presentable enough because Kris hasn’t complained at your looks whenever you were together. But when you saw her mom, you feel like hiding at the nearest bush and let your body swim over the sea of people because of her outstanding fashion and style.

That encounter between you and your boyfriend’s mother forever retained on your mind. You compared yourself to her, as if she was the epitome of beauty and Goddess of style. You started wearing makeup, cheating your height with wearing high heels and gave less of expression whenever and wherever you are. You thought that this was the solution for your boyfriend’s mother to accept you for being the girlfriend of his son but it tore yourself apart when you realized that you are only lying to yourself and changing your personality doesn’t mean that the other’s view of you will change, too. You realized that you must show them who you truly are and let them learn to accept the real you. Your boyfriend has been happy with that. He always tells you that less is more, and simplicity is beauty.   

When he told you that he was going to Canada your whole world crumbled. You felt your heart shatter into pieces like the nth glass you accidentally slipped onto the floor because of your clumsiness. Unable to process the whole scenario, tears grew from your eyes before you realize the sour-tasting, hot watery tears fell onto your cheeks. He was going away, leaving you, but kept telling you to don’t worry, that it will be okay, that everything will be just fine. His words soothed you, but it didn’t remove the pain and sadness because both of you knew that all of those are just white lies to cover the after effect; the plain truth.

At first, you didn’t know what to expect on your relationship because of the huge barrier the two of you have. It was hard to have a commitment with someone who lives distant from your home and how you wished that he would travel to you and be there when you needed him to comfort you. You missed him a lot, and there were so many struggles the both of you went through before making it to the phase where the two of you are now. In the end, you found the right formula for your five-year long-distance relationship to last and this is: patience, time, trust and love.

Time passed by so quickly and now was the day you have been waiting for; to see him again. It is time to make up things for the both of you. He had planned to surprise you for your birthday but failed in the middle of preparing it. How he was a bad actor. You had wished that he would continue the surprise for you because you love to be thrilled and excited in every occasion and important days the two of you must be celebrating for. However, you, yourself is also bad at making surprises so it only took you little amount of time to forgive him for being such a bad actor.   

You turn to reach the clock beside you and when you saw that it was turning 8:07, you immediately rose from your bed totally forgetting yourself that you had suited yourself into your yesterday wear. You stared by your window while admiring the sun. As you giggled in excitement and covered your mouth with your skinny little fingers, your heart was about to explode just with the thought that you are about to see your boyfriend again after a long 3 years. So much for enduring all the pain, you jumped to your kitchen and made pancakes for breakfast. You are not really a breakfast person. But this day, you wanted to eat something before you go to the airport to fetch your boyfriend. While waiting for it to be cooked, you ran to your wardrobe and decided on what to wear. You turn on the television and checked on the weather and it said that it is about to snow in the evening. By taking out your phone, you note of the time when the first snow fall will be. In the middle of making an alarm on you clock, you suddenly smelt something strange. You tried to trace where it was coming from; whether it was you or something else. It was past that you realized that you are cooking something in the kitchen. You immediately ran to your kitchen and got your burnt pancakes out of the stove before the fire alarm would broke and firemen reach your house knowing that there is a fire, which is only caused by your carelessness. White smoke filled your kitchen. You brought several papers and folders from your desk to fan it out. Luckily, it was wiped out in a minute or so. You heaved a deep sigh after damage has been done into your apartment but just then, your sight accidentally met the wall clock above your stove. It was already 8:45 and you must be preparing now and making your way to the airport. By 9 o’clock, your boyfriend’s plane to Seoul and it will be such a disappointment to you, and to him, if you are late in the airport. In fact, you were never late whenever the two of you agreed to see each other on a specific date. You always make sure that you are at the right place of meeting, at the exact time, and at the right mood.

He said that he will be visiting you for your birthday, approved by his family, and will be spending Christmas with you. Pressure was installed in you; now that you are currently in a state of shock after you had burnt your pancakes and haven’t still dressed for the meeting of you and your love.

Panic was there. You take a 3-minute shower and damped it with a towel. You don’t care whether it was dry or not. Believing that a cab would travel you faster to the airport, you immediately called for one to pick you up. Your cellphone beeped in the moment you sat on the back seat of the cab. Frantic about what and who the text message was from, you shut your eyes and bit your lower lip. All of this resulted because you had too much of excitement last night. You fantasized about the possible happenings of today; a reason why you had buggy eyes and this was the outcome. You were a bit disappointed of yourself but you can’t blame yourself for being excited. This was the day you have been looking forward to.

Your phone beeped again for the second time and when you finally had the strength to open the message, you unlock your phone and read the message. It was from your boyfriend and the least thing that you want to do is to jump for joy because he said that his flight will be delayed for an hour. A smile was plastered onto your face. You replied him an “It’s okay”, while you examine yourself. You shrug of the thought that you will wear makeup today. One of you and your boyfriend’s greatest fights was about you daring to change yourself; your style. But when you looked at yourself in the front mirror of the cab you are in now, you judged yourself for being such a horrible fighter of the night. You put a little amount of concealer to hide dark areas on your face and added a little peach blush on the side of your cheeks. You were thinking of putting sheer red lipstick but that would be so obvious so you hesitated doing it. Instead, you brought your lip balm and put some on your lips. You pop your lips as you take your jacket with you and exit the cab. You just arrived on time. Like you imagined, people were everywhere. You felt like a small ant, gathered with a thousand kind of different ants while travelling to where you and your boyfriend agreed to meet at.  

While waiting for him, you decided to check yourself again by the front camera of your phone, seeing if you have dirt on your face and as an addition to that, if your hair falls perfectly to your face. Every detail counted. You felt that this was your very first date. Well, after 3 years of not seeing each other. In the middle of preparing for your date, your phone rang and an image of your boyfriend flashed onto your screen. You immediately picked it up and let your boyfriend’s voice cringe into your ear.

“Where are you?”, his deep, sweet voice never failed to make you fall in love with him. With just hearing him ask where his girlfriend is makes you see him as your knight in shining armor in the deep sea of people. Still, his accent was different from yours brought by the influence of living in another country.

You searched for a landmark and described him the place of where you were. He tells you that you are in the different zone from him, and you can’t believe it because you were never wrong in directions. “Are you sure?”, you ask him for the second time around.

“No. No. I think I saw you just now.”

“Really?”, you turn your head to your left, then  to your right to search for any signs of him. You imagine that he was wearing a black cap with a knapsack over his shoulders and wearing a red checkered top because that was his description of what he is wearing before he get right on the plane. “I can’t.. see you here. Are you sure you are-”

Just in the middle of finishing a sentence, you felt someone from your back wrap arms around your waist. It made you flinch for a second, not believing that it was your boyfriend. “Kris?”, you take a second look at him, taken aback of who you saw. He dislodged his arms around you while you made a few steps back. You looked at him from head-to-toe.

“What?”, he moved his arms in the air, putting down one of his bags. “Surprise!”, he said without you noticing that he actually surprised you because of what he has become.

“Aren’t you happy that you saw me?”, your eyes widened as you can’t believe that you are only of the level of his shoulders. “No.. It’s just that.. You grew.”

Your boyfriend was insanely tall, and you didn’t expect him to grow taller by the time that he reached 21. He formed a chuckle while pinching your nose.

“Do I have any right to stop myself from growing taller? Besides, it’s good because now I can do this.”

By his manly strength, he carried you over his shoulders and raised you up like a baby being tossed by his father. “Bring me down you!” You cannot believe that he is still such a kid. Compared to his height, he acts just as the same before the two of you parted ways. Honestly, you did want that side of him but what you are avoiding is that people will see the both of you as siblings.

---

You let him in your small apartment where he carefully unpacked his things. You decided to make some sandwiches since you haven’t still ate breakfast. You told him your breakfast nightmare and he laughed hard at you and told you to just eat at some fast food chain next time if you want edible food. You elbowed him and he whined like he was been hit by a car; which you found over-dramatic. You smiled at him, and he opens one eye of his, hand clutched to his belly where you hit.

“Ouch”, he said with slightly opening his mouth for a little more exaggeration to catch you. “Stop acting, weirdo.”, you told him while opening the oven toaster of your and get the bread out of it. You take a little bite from a piece of bread and handed it over to Kris, but he seemed to be quiet while his eyes were locked onto the ground.

When he never puts any attention to you anymore, you put the bread aside and turn to his side and desperately wanted to know how he feels.

“Hey, ” you felt paranoid. He wasn’t looking at you, and his hand was clutched to the side part of his belly where you had hit him. You swam into your own thoughts, and asked yourself why you hit him like that. You blamed yourself for being such a clumsy, careless, insensitive girlfriend. “Kris?”, you try to shake him but his body is so huge as compared to you to even make a slight movement.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hit you. Did it really hurt?”, you hated being the first one to let down pride in your relationship. But this time, it seemed like you needed to apologize to him. You check him as you trailed your hands over his and in a blink of an eyes, he pulls your arm and hugs you tight. You have the intuition that he would do that – trick you that he’s hurt but not – and you still insisted caring for him. Guess that’s the idea.  

“Missed me?”, he whispered at your ear with a very gentle and sweet tone. You don’t know whether you are still annoyed of him, whether you are to make him feel sorry or whether you are dreaming or not. Kris taut his arms more; to which put you into a close-fitting fuzzy hug enough to warm your body this winter. You realize that your head was resting on his chest. Since you were girlfriend and boyfriend, it is obvious that he was the one who has an advantage when it comes to height. He was five foot eleven while you were a five foot four typical college girl, and now that he has gotten taller you feel like you were being left by his height.    

You never liked tall guys because you thought of them as scary people with abnormalities. But one thing made an exception to that and that is him. That’s a funny thing that you kept on remembering whenever you see your boyfriend. Even when the two of you first met, you didn’t like how Kris looked. You thought that he was so cold, so cool, or that he was uneasy to approach, and daunting. But all of that were only first impressions. When he placed his bag on the side of the chair next to you and greeted you a “Good Morning”, for the first time in your college life you knew that there was that spark between the two of you.

“What?”, he tells you while placing a peck on your cheeks. You wanted to tell him what you feel at the very moment you saw him and kiss him, too, but in the middle of preparing your sentence, his phone rang. You could feel his phone throb while you were caught in silence. He loosens his grip on you and gulps before signaling you that he has an urgent call from someone. Your boyfriend looked at you before shutting the veranda’s glass door in order for you not to hear their conversation, or from whom it was. If only you didn’t know him, you will feel a little bad of his actions but you were his girlfriend. And you knew everything about him. You knew that the call he has to pick up was from his mom, and you predicted that they are arguing now. Sometimes you had wished that things are not just like that, that everything between you, and him, and his mother, was fine. But not all things will be given to you, and to him. You were glad that you found this person that understood you and what he only wanted you to do is also understand his situation, too.     

After that, he went back to your kitchen like nothing has happened. You were afraid to ask, or even start a conversation with him. You forgot what you were about to tell him lately.  

“Do you want to eat somewhere?”

With his perfectly knitted eyebrows, you can’t help but to surrender. “Sure.”

--

Spending the afternoon with your boyfriend is incomparable. You both felt to hang out outside of your apartment as he had said that it was suffocating to be in a room and that he missed travelling in Korea so the both of you decided on strolling outside for an afternoon walk.

Like the old days, you spent your time together looking for a nice restaurant to dine at. As much as possible, you wanted to avoid having serious conversations with him; especially when it is regarding his relationship with his mom. He tilted his head down to meet your eyes, and you looked up to meet his. It was awkward for you because you haven’t seen him for quite a long time and now he has grown to a bigger size.

“Hm?”

You shook your head in reply. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Nothing. It’s just that-”

“Don’t mind it. We’re fine.”, he firmly holds your hand while you stop from walking.

Still, he didn’t notice that it isn’t what you wanted to hear. You knew he was lying. You can’t help but to feel betrayed of the lines he always tell you. You wanted his honesty so that you, too, know of what was happening in his life.

“Damn it Kris.”, you pull his hand away from yours.

You know it was a bad timing, a bad feeling and you never wanted to throw an argument, specifically on a public place. But what’s the point, anyway. He will always tell you the same line, the same “it’s okay” if you will keep forever silent.

“Why are you always like that? Why are you always hurting me?”, your cheeks remained red as you cannot help bursting your emotions. The abundant flow of tears ripped your skin. It is winter, but the water streaming from your eyes is already enough to make your cheeks feel hot like it was summer.

“Alice.”

“Don’t -”, you covered your face with your palms and stopped him for going near to you. You knew that people were looking at the two of you because you had just already made a reason for them to stare at.  

“I.. I’m sorry, okay?”, his voice was ragged, shaky, and he was already embarrassed of the people who circled around both of you.

You tried processing everything. He had just come back, but you felt that he is leaving you again any time now. You at crying, but nothing is stopping you now. For this moment, what you only wanted to do was cry. Hating everything will only cause you a lot of problems, and it is not your plan to hate him. Your throat dries the moment you sniff, and your nose feels very cold and sensitive. You thought that it was because it was winter, and it was cold, but people were starting to talk about a common thing in the area where you are at; snow.

“Hey, it’s snowing”, you heard your boyfriend said. “Look Alice, it’s snowing!”, he grabs your elbow while you were still covering your eyes with your hands as warmers. “You had one on your nose, too.”

He pointed at your nose and you see him in your peripheral vision. “I’m serious. You really have a snowflake on your nose and now it’s melting.”

“Stop crying Alice. Sorry for everything. I wanted to tell you my surprise in the evening but you’re so pushy.”

Here is the catch. You weren’t expecting to hear that from him. You stop from crying and slowly uncovered your eyes and listened to him. “The truth is, I really can’t stay here until Christmas.”

Your boyfriend tucks a lock of your hair to the back of your ear. You don’t know whether he was making you cry again, and saying “goodbye” but you were curious of his next sentence. “But this afternoon, I had an agreement with my mom.”

Your eyes were straightly convinced that there was something going on between the two of them. “And she said, I am not allowed to go back to Canada without you.”

You slowly pushed him while wiping out the tears from your face. It was unbelievable. But whether it is fantasy or reality, it is worth celebrating for; now that both of you are free. No more barriers, no more restraints.

Before he landed you a kiss on your forehead, he circled his arms around you and towered you with his gigantic height.

“Now, cry. This is a good spot for you to hide your face.”

And you therefore conclude that even though he is gigantic; his height can also contribute that could be of your benefit.

---

Fin