The Sadistic

My mind was prick me again. I don't know which way i should choose. i have stopped in the same spot for so long but i realized it when i was alone. Again. In the same hole with same sky. Grey. Not black or white. Not even rain or sunny. I don't know what should i do with this situation. i just let the wind blow me away. i want you to reach my hand and pull me up and hug me with all of your heart. i want that but.... I have promised my self to stay away from you. So i cann't hurt you in anyways. Even thought you're masochist, still i don't want to hurt you.

I'm a predator who don't want to eat it's prey. i just looked at you with my pinching eyes. You looked delicious yet fragile. i could break you any moment. i could snap your back with my thousand knife which is ready to be thrown. Can you just read my mind and embrace me with your warmness? cos I was so tired standing here alone.

I'm a sadistic and you're the masochist. We're perfect match. But we keep our separated way. You keep your guilt by your self and so do i. We both feel the guilt even in the different meaning. How can we be together if we keep doing this? 

The Masochist

I'm a Masochist. I know that. I like the feeling of pain itself because it make me forget the real pain i shoul feel. No one knows about this pain actually. No one care. it haunt me for years and sadly, i didn't have the cure. I lived wearing mask. it's like nothing happen in my life. But i know well that it's destroyed like a hell.

Till one day a girl caught me with it. She sent a tantrum that made me remember it. Made me feel the real pain... yet she cured it.

But then she just run away. i don't know why she did that but it did hurt. Even i like being hurt but this time i won't let this go. Never. till i know the reason why she did this to me.