Chapter 44

My Gangster

Chapter 44


A week had passed ever since my talk with Lu Han, Chan Yeol, Baek Hyun, and Kai. My mind had processed everything that they had said to me. They were right, I was in denial and I was trying to make myself feel something that wasn't there. How was it possible that these kids that were called gangsters knew so much about love? It's probably something that no one would ever figured out. Even I, Ahn Soo Jin, couldn't believe it. I'm sure if everyone had found out, they would be in shock, but hey, let's not let everyone find out. It's always better to know that you were the only one who knew their secrets.

The school had never found out if Choi Jae Hyun and I ever really kissed and I wanted to keep it that way. Only Jae Hyun and I knew the truth. We've gotten friendlier with each other, making everyone suspicious because it was odd to see that we would say hi to each other now and that sometimes, we would actually carry a conversation with each other without an argument and because of the fight that happened between him and Se Hun made it seem like Jae Hyun was really into me now. I liked this Choi Jae Hyun more though. I found him more attractive and more lively.

Jung Ah, who was starting to hate me, was getting fed up with the fact that I still haven't told her about what had happened between Jae Hyun and I or what had happened in the cafeteria when she left. It's too bad she still loved me deep down. I was never going to tell her.

But other than that, it was my day off of school and I was having a well off day. I had gotten up early in the morning to shower, eat breakfast, run an errand for my mother, studied, and I even managed to give myself a little free time by watching a few variety shows on TV since I haven't done so in a long time. My mother had found me very weird lately because I had been doing the opposite of what I usually did, but she didn't bother to ask me because she liked that I seemed more... Responsible, as she would say. I guess. If we're both happy, I would like to keep it that way, even though I knew that it was going to end as quickly as it had started.

"Soo Jin, you should bring Se Hun over for dinner sometime." My father said coming into the living room with a cup of coffee in his hands. "I want to see a boy in our house."

"Wait, you two aren't dating, right?" My mother asked. "I haven't heard you talk about him for awhile now."

I froze at their words. I forgot that these two were the only ones who didn't know about what was going on between me and Se Hun.

"We're not dating." I said rolling my eyes after a moment of silence. "If you want a boy in the house, go adopt one."

"So, should we go and adopt Se Hun then?" My father raised an eyebrow. "He seems well off so he'd be perfect. Besides, I don't want to raise a little one. Se Hun's already of age."

"Appa!" I groaned at him.

"What? You said for me to adopt a boy and that's who I want!" He sipped his coffee with a laugh.

"You're not funny." I glared at him.

My mother laughed. "I thought your father was really funny."

"Ugh. You two make me sick." I groaned and ran to my room.

"Bring him over!" My father yelled after me.



When evening came, I had gone out to get some fresh air. I had my music on and had walked to wherever my feet had taken me. I knew where I was going, who was I kidding? Hah. After a few minutes, I found myself standing in front of Se Hun's house. Staring at the house had brought a few memories back. My heart became heavy again. It's been only a week or so since I've last seen and talked to Se Hun, but it felt like an eternity and being here made me feel more relieved, as if I've been dying to be here.

I walked up to Se Hun's door and stared at it. Did I even have any right to be here after the things I've said and done to him? There was no way I did. I felt like and that's how I should feel. I deserved this stupid feeling of mine. I raised my arm up and started to knock on it anyway. I waited for him to answer it, but there was nothing. Maybe he wasn't home. I decided to give up because it would be a burden to bother him. Just as I turned around, I heard the door swing open. I turned my head back and saw Se Hun standing there. Wow. He looked different. His hair was cut more cleanly and his hair looked like it had become blonder. He actually became better looking, if that was possible. I found my heart going crazy just staring at him.

"What are you even doing here?" He asked me coldly.

I couldn't blame him for speaking so coldly towards me. It was because of me he was acting the way he was. I wanted to apologize and make things better, but his tone of voice already told me that things weren't going to work out.

"Were you going to give up that easily?" Se Hun asked, breaking my thoughts.

I was surprised to see how quickly he had changed his tone; he went from cold to soft within a minute. It was still amazing how Se Hun really was. I couldn't help but stare at him and try to read expression. Oh Se Hun has not changed once.

"Perfect timing, isn't it?" I watched as a girl came up behind Se Hun as she crossed her arms and glared at me.

Lee Yoo Ra.

"It looks like you're doing good." I scoffed as I turned around and walked off.

"Wait... Ahn Soo Jin..." Se Hun was following behind me. "Stop..."

Se Hun grabbed my hand but I hit his arm away from me. "God, I was so stupid! How could I think that maybe they were right?" I was starting to tear up. "I guess it was my fault too, huh? This is just all too funny."

"What are you talking about?" Se Hun stared at me blankly.

"Nothing. Nothing, Se Hun. I was being stupid to think that I'd come here and try to talk to you, but what was I thinking?" I coughed a small laugh, trying to contain my tears. "I really am an idiot, huh?"

"Soo Jin, I think you're misunderstanding something..." Se Hun said trying to grab my hand again, but I hit his hand away.

"Forget it." I heaved a sigh as I ran a hand through my hair. "I shouldn't even have came here. It was wrong of me."

I didn't care anymore. I had to get out of there before I start crying my eyes out. I quickly turned around and started to walk off. I didn't hear footsteps behind me and it kind of hurt my heart. I was hoping that he would chase me, but then again, I guess I was glad that he wasn't because I was now crying my eyes out. It was snowing heavily now. Great. My heart became even heavier than before. I felt so stupid seeing that Yoo Ra was there with him. If I just didn't wait for a week, I'm sure everything would have been okay, but that's what  I get. So much for love.

"Why is it always you who gets to walk away?!" I heard a voice scream behind me. "You think you can just ing do this to me and think you have the right to walk away from me?!" I kept walking. "And what about the things you've said to me?! You think you can just say all that and come back here and pretend that it's okay and that I'd forgive you?!"

I didn't know what to do and walking was the only thing I knew what to do right now.

"Why can't I talk and you listen?!" He screamed even louder.

I turned around and saw Se Hun walking towards me. It looked like he had been following the whole time because his body was filled with snowflakes. He didn't even seem to care. If he gets sick, he shall not blame me! I didn't tell him to chase me, even though I secretly wanted it.

"You're going to get sick." I was still worried even though I tried not to sound so sincere.

"Shut up, Soo Jin!" Se Hun angrily glared at me when he finally reached me.

Well then...

"Why do you get to decided if I should stay or if I should go? Why do you get to choose how I feel or what I should do?!" Se Hun was growling at me and it kind of scared me. "Why can't I make my own decisions? Why can't I save you from those bastards who think it's okay to touch you? Can I not want to protect you? Is it that bad? And what about me wanting to be with you? Can I not decide that by myself?!" He ran a hand through his hair frustratedly, and I might I add, it was freaking y. "Don't tell me that I'll get hurt saving you or that you never had feelings for me because you do! Do you really care if I'm a gangster or not? Do you?"

I only stared at him, not able to say the things I wanted to say.

"What about all of those times we've spent together? Was it really nothing to you? Did you think that this was just really all a game and that I was nothing but just based on a bet?" He muttered angrily. "Did you really not feel anything for me after all of those times that we were together? Good or bad? And when I kissed you... Did you not feel... Anything?"

I bit my lip and looked down at my feet, afraid that if I were to look into his eyes, I would only falter.

"Even if it makes me pathetic... Can't I be with you?" Se Hun asked as he lifted my face up so we could see each other's faces. "Can't I love you?"

I didn't know what to say.

"I love you, Ahn Soo Jin." Se Hun practically whispered this, but it was loud enough for me to hear.

I froze hearing those words that I never thought I'd hear my whole life. That stupid gangster kid really said that he "loved" me and I didn't know how to take it. My heart was beating out of my chest and I knew I couldn't contain my feelings anymore.

"Do you know how happy you make me? Even when you make stupid decisions and you worry me, do you realize how much I want to be with you and protect you? You were the first one to ever treat me as a person, not just some guy who scared people away." Se Hun eyes were brimming with tears. "That day... When you said you wanted to end everything, did you know how crazy I was going? I couldn't even sleep... I couldn't think... I didn't even eat... I was... I was so hurt... I felt like I lost everything." He sighed. "Everything you said to me... Even when you told me that you were talking to Jae Hyun and seeing the two of you hold hands... Everything was killing me inside. For once, I didn't know how to live... I didn't think you'd ever show up here because of all of the things you've said to me and when you did today, after a whole ing week of hell... You know how happy I was? I had to count to ten before opening the door... I was so nervous and yet... I was so excited."

My heart hurt hearing these words come out from him. This was something Se Hun was really good at. He was good at expressing his feelings when he wanted to and when he did, it really hit my heart. I couldn't hold it in any longer so I let the tears that I've been holding back out.

"Soo Jin..." Se Hun tried to walk towards me, but I took a step back. "What more do you want me to say to let you believe me?"

"And what about Yoo Ra?" I asked glaring at him.

"What about her?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "Do you think that we still have feelings for each other?"

"She obviously still wants to be with you." I rolled my eyes.

"What makes you think that I want to be with her?" He raised an eyebrow. "What? Is it because she was at my house just now?"

I only stared at him.

"That's why you're running off... You think that Yoo Ra and I are something, huh?" He scoffed and then shook his head at me. "We're nothing, Soo Jin. Yoo Ra and I are done and over with."

"Right, her being inside your house and such..." I scoffed with an annoyed expression.

"Why am I even explaining Yoo Ra to you?" He asked tilting his head at me. "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to be with her in order for you to believe that she means nothing to me?"

"Forget it." I groaned.

"Oh wait. Since we're already on this topic... What about Choi Jae Hyun? Didn't the two of you kiss?!" He looked more pissed off than before. "Maybe you should explain what the hell that is because the two of you are talking now!"

"I had to! I lost a damn bet!" I yelled.

"All you had to do was say that I was in love with you!" Se Hun yelled back.

"Why should I lie?!"

"Who said that you were lying?!" Se Hun sighed in frustration. "Didn't I just get done telling you that I ing love you?! Do you really not understand my feelings at all, Soo Jin?!"

"We didn't even kiss! Nor are we freaking talking!" I groaned finally giving in. "He already knew you were in love with me!"

"Then what the hell are we arguing for?!" He yelled again, but he tried to calm himself after.

We stood there in silence, staring at each other, waiting for the other to speak, but no one did.

"I'm sorry..." I finally muttered. "I... I didn't mean... I didn't mean to say those words..."

Se Hun stared at me, his lips pressed in a thin line.

"I... I was in denial and I wasn't thinking right and-"

I was cut off with Se Hun pushing me up against the brick wall. Before I could even see anything happen, I felt Se Hun pressing his lips forcefully at mine. He was kissing me slowly and then his pace became a little faster. I kissed him back as I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him in closer to me for a deeper kiss. I didn't know what else to do. Everything right there and then felt so right and so sweet. I felt him smiling between our kisses and it made me kiss him even more. Damn, I really missed this stupid gangster kid.

"I'm sorry, Se Hun..." I said pulling back. "I'm sorry that I-"

"Shut up. I don't care anymore." Se Hun leaned in and kissed me again.

This very moment... This was something I wanted to remember.

"I love you, Ahn Soo Jin." Se Hun said, our lips still pressed together.

"I love you too..." I said pulling back, but Se Hun forced my head towards him and we kissed again, more passionately.




**A/N: Did any of you guys listen or watch the leak of "Overdose" by our boys? If not, that's good! Just wait patiently to see how hard-working they were! It'll be worth the wait <3 But ummm... Enjoy the update because tomorrow, I'll be posting up the last chapter! I'm already having a withdrawal :( I don't want to end the story at all! ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ But I guess I'm going to have to :( Thanks for showing so much love to my first story <3 Seriously appreciate every one of you who had subscribed and upvoted when I thought I wouldn't ever get as much as I did! Keke <3 Also, I have another story that's going to come soon after I finish this one. It's called Goodbye Autumn. It features Chenchen <3 But note that I won't be posting until I'm done with this story though, but please still support and read :D. Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent readerThank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah!

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Comments (3133)

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Lolypop123 18 streak #1
Chapter 48: Love it ☺
WinMin_Trash #2
Ooooohhh!! I like it!!
eungoemul #3
A good read! Finished all the chapters with a happy heart
eungoemul #4
Chapter 1: i alright like the first chapter lol!
nice (‘∀’●)♡
ulfahrahma #6
omg I love this fanfic so much it's unreal <3 <3 <3
Chapter 32: My heart breaks... Soo Jin experience hearrbroken for the first time.
Chapter 2: The second hand embarassment I feel after reading... my gosh Soo Jin... haha
Sehun would make a hot gangster in rl XD