Chapter 37

My Gangster

Chapter 37


I skipped out on school the next day to get sleep because I couldn't get any last night, but I realized that there was no point because I still couldn't sleep. It was really frustrating. I decided to get out of bed and shower. After I showered, I went down to my kitchen and looked through my fridge to find nothing made. Since I was too lazy, I decided not to cook. I went up to my room and changed my clothes into something warmer so I could get out of the house, just in case my parents had decided to come back from work early for some reason.

I went to a nearby restaurant and the ahjusshi greeted me happily. I sat down at an open table and ordered myself a tofu and beef soupe. It was chilly out so it was the perfect thing to eat. When my food arrived, I ate it slowly and quietly, still thinking about my own thoughts that were wandering around my mind. There were a few older men and women in the restaurant who were staring at me from time to time. I'm sure they were wondering why a high school girl like me was doing here when I should be at school. It was a good thing no one ever questioned me because I was not in the mood to talk, especially because I was eating.

After I got done eating, I paid the ahjusshi and made my way out. I stood outside on the street and looked from left to right, deciding where I wanted to go next. I took my phone out and looked at the time to see that it was only ten in the morning. I had the whole day still and I had no idea what to do. I decided to take a right and walked down the street. I looked from every corner, seeing if there would be place to go, but nothing was catching my eye. Great. Maybe I was just going to go back home and lay in bed.

Just as I was passing by the train station, I stopped in my tracks and looked at the signs. Busan. Oh? It only took two and half hours by train, if I remembered well. I took out my wallet and counted the money I had in there. Okay. I had enough to go there, go explore, come back, and still have money left over to do something. I made my way into the train station and bought myself a ticket. The next train was supposed to take off in less than ten minutes, so I quickly bought myself a snack and drink and went onto the train.

The train ride was really relaxing. I remember the first time I took the train with Se Hun. Actually, not the first time since I had fallen asleep, but the second time, I remembered it very well. I laughed to myself, hoping no one saw me. Was it really three months ago when I first took the train? I looked around and heaved a loud sigh, only because I was pretty much the only one inside. The last time I took the train was when I came back from Busan and it was after we had buried Se Hun's grandpa. Thinking about Se Hun's grandpa hurt my heart. I found myself tearing up. Damn it.

It's silly to think that I was so touched by him even though I've only talked to him once. He was so kind and the way he talked about Se Hun really showed that he cared. He was the last person that Se Hun had and he was gone. Se Hun must have felt lonely and his break up with Yoo Ra must have been weighing him down as well. I realized that Se Hun wasn't even having it good for the past five to nine months. He went through a break up, his grandpa got sick and passed away, Yoo Ra deciding to come back...

I know Se Hun really still cares for Yoo Ra. There's no way that he wouldn't because if he was over her, he wouldn't have hurt Soo Hyuk in any way. That was only about a month ago when all of that happened. I looked down at my feet and thought about how Se Hun looked when he had beat up Soo Hyuk, asking him what he did to her and when I told Se Hun to stop, but he hit my hand away. That's the angriest I've seen Se Hun. My heart sunk a little, realizing that Se Hun was never going to get over Yoo Ra. He still cared a lot for her and he still loved her.



Right when I got into Busan, my phone was vibrating constantly in my pocket. I reached for it and took it out to see that I had missed calls from Jung Ah and Se Hun. I quickly shut my phone off. I didn't need anyone to bother me as of right now. This was my getaway so that meant that no calls were allowed... At least for now.

I went to the flower shop and bought flowers. Instead of buying blue flowers like Se Hun had bought last time, I decided to go with a dark red color. The flowers were pretty and I was surprised that flowers could still bloom at a time like this. It was amazing how nature worked. I made my way to the cemetary after I purchased them. I went down the pathway where I once went and found the tombstone I was looking for. I walked over the dead grass and bent down as I set down the flowers, brushing away weeds and snow.

My hand landed on the ground and I suddenly felt like crying. I took a deep breath, trying to hold it in because I kind of had no reason to cry, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. My eyes started letting out a few tears at a time and it started to become something else. I was now bawling my eyes out, as if I was sad over something else than Se Hun's grandpa who was beneath me. His words crept through my mind and it reminded me of the letter he had given me. It hurt my heart, recalling those words that were written. He told me to take care of Se Hun and to be there for him... But what about me?

I didn't know how long it was, but I finally found myself not crying anymore. My tears were probably frozen on my face. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and blew out a sigh. I still couldn't believe I was here in Busan and this time, I was alone. I didn't come with Se Hun. I didn't come with the class. I came by myself and all I was doing was thinking. It's crazy how I was still sitting in the cemetary even after an hour had passed by already. I hope people didn't think I was crazy. I quickly got up and brushed off the dirt from my pants and bowed down, as if Se Hun's grandpa was in front of me.

I found a taxi and told the driver to take me to Haeundae Beach. The driver probably thought I was a little crazy because who goes to the beach during the winter? Well, I do. When I arrived, I went towards the shoreline and bent down towards the sand. I dug my hand through the top of the sand and felt the coolness rub on my skin. It reminded me of that day where Se Hun and I came here and he was yelling at me, telling me we should go somewhere warmer, but I refused. I suddenly laughed thinking about these memories.

The water was quiet today and it slowly came up to shore every now and then. I reached out to touch the water when it came to shore. The water was freezing, but it didn't stop me from wanting to touch it. My legs were starting to hurt from bending down so I decided to sit down on my . Ugh. My clothes were going to get dirty, but who cares. When do I ever do this? I took my phone out, turned it on, and decided to take pictures. I took a picture of the water in front of me and then how I was sitting. I lifted my camera up and was about to take a picture of myself, but stopped when it reminded me of that time where Se Hun and I took pictures together.

I set my phone down and went through my pictures. I looked through all of them until I got to the pictures where Se Hun and I were. I looked at every picture carefully, examining our facial expressions. It was the first time that Se Hun had smiled and he actually meant it. Well, I hope he meant it because it really showed in the picture. I looked through more of our picture and saw that he was staring at me with a smile while I was staring at the camera. I felt my heart fluttering looking at this picture. I had to admit, it was quite cute. Just as I was about to swipe through my pictures, my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen and saw Jung Ah's name.

"Hello?" I decided to pick it up since she was constantly calling me.

"Where are you? How could you skip school and not tell me?" Jung Ah yelled through the phone so loud that I had to pull my phone away from my ears. "And what the hell is wrong with you?! Were you ignoring my calls to the point where you shut your phone off?! You're so dead when I see you!"

I laughed at her. "I'm in Busan."

"Okay. Yeah. Out of all the places, you decided Busan? Seriously, where are you?" Jung Ah didn't believe me and it was kind of funny because she knew when I was lying, but I was seriously telling the truth this time.

"I'm serious." I said as I took my phone off my ear and took a picture of myself and the beach and then sent it to her. "I'm really in Busan."

There was a pause. She was probably checking out the picture I sent her. "Why are you there?"

"I... I really don't know why I'm here." I said as I picked at the sand.

"What's wrong?" She said this quietly and from the other side, I could hear her shuffling around. "What's bothering you?"

I looked up at the sky and ran a hand through my hair.

"I know it's stupid for you to be honest with me through the phone, but if you won't say it in person, at least tell me now." Jung Ah probably went to a quieter place because I couldn't hear anything in the background. "Ahn Soo Jin, just be honest about your feelings."

"I like Se Hun." I said after a few seconds. "I like him so much to the point where everything I do or say reminds me of him."

"Tell me something I don't know." Jung Ah said in reply.

"But after this bet, I'm going to pretend none of this ever happened." It hurt saying these words, but I had to do it.

"Why?" She asked.

"I'm only a burden, weighing him down when he could be doing something better with his life." I ran a hand through my hair, not caring if there was sand in it. "He's still in love with his ex-girlfriend, Lee Yoo Ra. I can't like someone who still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend. I don't want to get in between their relationship. I'm sure they could work it out, but I'm in the way..."

"Do you know how love feels like now?" Jung Ah asked, as if she was a thearpist.

"Who said I loved Se Hun? I only said I liked him." I rolled my eyes.

"You can't like someone for three months, Soo Jin. After those three months, it's either you love them or you never really had anything for them." She said sighing. "You're just in denial."

"I know..." I shook my head. "So this is what love is?"

"Love is something only you can feel, do you understand that?" She was probably smiling; I could hear it in her voice. "I'm really happy that you've figured out what love was, but why are you letting Se Hun go just because of Yoo Ra?"

"Se Hun is still in love with her and it's not only because of her..." I bit my lip.

"Then what?" She asked.

"He's going to get hurt one day because of me..." I looked at my hands and clenched them into a fist out of anger.

"Everyone will get hurt in some way..." Jung Ah groaned. "Nothing's perfect."

"I don't want him to get hurt because of me..." I said sadly, feeling the tears creep up on me.

"What about Yoo Ra? She hurt Se Hun, but she's still trying!" Jung Ah retorted angrily. "Are you just going to let him go?"

"They have a past." I pursed my lips together. "A past that still has a future."

"And what about you and Se Hun? Do you two not have a past then?" She asked.

"We're nothing..." I shook my head as my vision became blurry. "He's just some guy I fell in love with because of a bet."

"Just some guy, huh?" Jung Ah scoffed. "At least this guy was someone you fell in love with. He means something to you."

"I don't know, Jung Ah. I'm not going to waste my time and try to make anything happen." I didn't even realize I was crying now. "There are only two days left and after they're gone, I'll go back to my normal life... Just the way I wanted..."

Jung Ah sighed through the phone. She didn't say anything more and that left us with silence between the two of us. After a few minutes, I ended up hanging up on her, only because we both knew that there was nothing left to say and because she had to get to class. I didn't want her to get into trouble. I rested my elbows on my knees and looked at my phone that was held out in front of me. The only thing I could think of is when everything was going to end. What was I going to do when my life went back to normal? Does that mean that I won't ever talk or encounter that stupid gangster kid anymore? Shouldn't I be happy about it?




**A/N: I said I was going to go on a hiatus and I meant it, but I read one of the comments that said that they were disappointed I'd leave you subbies with such a chapter, so I decided that I'd give you guys one more chapter before I officially take my hiatus. Your comments really do make my day and I love reading them! Thank you so much <3 Oh, please don't kill Yoo Ra! I think every one of you said something about killing her in the comments. HAHAHAHA. Anyways, here's my update for you all, so enjoy it and I'll come back soon. Also, I have another story that's going to come soon after I finish this one. It's called Goodbye Autumn. It features Chenchen <3 But note that I won't be posting until I'm done with this story though, but please still support and read :D. Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent reader. Thank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah!

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Comments (3133)

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Lolypop123 18 streak #1
Chapter 48: Love it ☺
WinMin_Trash #2
Ooooohhh!! I like it!!
eungoemul #3
A good read! Finished all the chapters with a happy heart
eungoemul #4
Chapter 1: i alright like the first chapter lol!
nice (‘∀’●)♡
ulfahrahma #6
omg I love this fanfic so much it's unreal <3 <3 <3
Chapter 32: My heart breaks... Soo Jin experience hearrbroken for the first time.
Chapter 2: The second hand embarassment I feel after reading... my gosh Soo Jin... haha
Sehun would make a hot gangster in rl XD