Wait-

 

A long, thin smile graced over Donghae's face as Yoogeun climbed on his lap and fiddled with his fingers. Yooguen was officially the best thing that happened to him. Picking that raven haired, large owl eyed, but horribly abused and neglected child was the best decision he had ever made. 

 

Donghae pulled Yooguen closer to him, his thumb softly rubbing on his scarred arm. "I love you." Donghae murmured as he placed a soft kiss on Yooguen's forehead tenderly. The child stared at Donghae with doe eyes curiously, but still smiling anyway. 

 

"Me-"

 

"Where's mine?"

 

Yooguen glared at poor his appa for interupting him as Hyukjae pulled an innocent face.

 

"Haeee."

 

Donghae laughed and tutted at Hyukjae's impatience and pecked his cheek. "Happy?"

 

Hyukjae nodded furiously and sat on the sofa beside Donghae, starting to look through the letters Donghae picked from the mailbox. Hyukjae furrowed his brows as he picked up a simple looking envelope, with an "confidential" stamped on it in bold, crimson red figures.

 

The mail seemed suspiciously familiar, with the same flaming aura around, giving Hyukjae a churning feeling deep down in his stomach. Confused, he tore open the envelope carefully in an unintentional straight line. The words on the stainless white paper were sinfully neat and proper, and it scared Hyukjae a little. Slowly bit by bit, his eyes started darting left to right, absorbing whatever was written there.

 

Hyukjae turned pale, and started trembling. The edge of his fingertips and his knuckles turned as pale as the piece of paper in his hands, and he clenched it so hard, it was about to rip into miniature figures. Tears pricked his eyes and he felt like shooting whoever typed him the letter.

 

This wasn't happening.

 

It mustn't be.

 

"Hyuk? What's wrong?" Hyukjae tore his eyes away and was greeted by Donghae's worried, caring ones, and Yooguen's curious doe eyes. Hyukjae's espression remained stonic, his eyes blank and cheeks pale, as his brain started to dissolve, bit by bit, what he just read.

 

"Hyuk?" Donghae started to fret and patted on Hyukjae's arm lightly.

 

"They want me back."

 

"What?"

 

"They want me back. They want me back to the army."

 

------

 

The couple hugged tightly. Donghae didn't want Hyukjae to leave. If he could, he really really wanted to go with Hyukjae. They both didn't know the reason behind the urgent calling of Hyukjae, but it can't be anything good, if Hyukjae got into a war, Donghae wanted to be there with him. They would possibly get hurt together, or worse still, die together. 

 

It was still better than Hyukjae leaving Donghae alone, heartbroken.

 

That was worse than death.

 

Yooguen grabbed on Donghae's leg, the three year old barely understood what was going on and stared at Donghae with the same, curious, large doe eyes. Donghae looked down at him and forced a smile, controdicting his own watery eyes.

 

That was when Donghae knew that that innocent child would be left in his care, and Donghae vowed to give him whatever he could, even if Hyukjae was absent.

 

Donghae took a final look at Hyukjae and smiled.

 

"Why are you crying, you idiot." Donghae laughed bitterly and wiped the tears away from Hyukjae's reddened cheeks.

 

A barely visible smile creeped on Hyukjae's face as he ruffled on Donghae's blond hair.

 

"I'll be back before you know it."

 

"Take you time. I'll be free while you're gone."

 

Hyukjae punched Donghae's shoulder lightly and laughed. "Just don't look at other guys, okay? Or i'll take my riffle and shoot all of them down."

 

Donghae rolled his eyes and ignored his streaming tears, picking Yoogeun up, bringing him to his partner. "Geun-ah, kiss appa goodbye." Yoogeun's young brain did not manage to understand why Hyukjae was leaving in a camo suit, but did what he was told to please Donghae.

 

Donghae smiled. Yoogeun had never registered Hyukjae's prescence ever since the child stepped into the house, and it was made known that Yoogeun was afraid of him. It really cheered Donghae up seeing that the child was slowly opening up, his fear for manly and well built people slowly fading. Sighing, Donghae gave Hyukjae a final peck on his forehead. 

 

"Be safe, we'll be waiting."

 

------

 

Donghae perched on the floor, carrying the child in trembling, unstable arms, while watching the news with a couple other families. North Korea decided to declare war right after a couple weeks Hyukjae left, and Donghae frantically grabbed Yooguen and rushed to the allocated bomb shelter.

 

Donghae felt upset, annoyed and pissed as hell. Whoever made Hyukjae return to the battlefield obviously knew the oncoming war, but still chose to use his as a chess piece, a vulverable thing standing in the middle of black and white checkers, a fine line of life or death forced between his feet.

 

The reportered carried on narrating, but all Donghae could hear the churning in his stomach. He watched as several other chosen chess pieces squatted down behind the greens, grabbing on their only protection-the riffle, and crossing their fingers, hoping they would keep balanced on that fine line, not trip and be non-exhistant anymore.

 

One down.

 

Two down.

 

Donghae scruched up his eyes as he continued to pat the asleep toddler. He wished the news would stop shooting such negative scenes on the battle field. The sight of crimson red blood of innocent beings flashed into his brain like a torchlight and it made Donghae want to gag and vomit. He still had a tiny sparkle of hope in his heart, a hope that Hyukjae would return, unharmed, but now, the line the soldier was standing on seemed really thin, as thin as a strand of hair.

 

Because of war, the family might lose everything. Their house, possesions and even the objects they hold so dear to their hearts. But Donghae was willing to let all of these go, all of them. He just wanted the three of them to be safe, was that so demanding and hard to ask for?

 

As Donghae prayed and prayed in the shelter that Hyukjae would be safe and in one piece, Hyukjae was gripping on his riffle, hiding behind floral and fauna, begging god for the same wish for Donghae.

 

------

 

"Umma can we go home?" Yoogeun tugged on one of Hyukjae's shirt he was wearing that seemed oversized on him. 

 

Donghae placed Yoogeun on his lap and shook his head lightly. Apparently the toddler hadn't understood what was going on. He didn't understand why there were people walking round holding flags, he didn't understand why there were red liquid everywhere, he didn't understand why he had to squeeze into a tiny compartment with so many other people he never saw in his life.

 

But mostly, he didn't understand why his appa wasn't here when Donghae cried.

 

Donghae Yoogeun's sweat drenched hair as they sat on the particular area that had little light seeping in and got the younger male to peep out.

 

"Geun-ah they're in war."

 

Donghae watched as yoogeun repeated "war" with his cherry lips.

 

"War is bad. War is a long process and it affects everyone. War takes away our things, all we have."

 

The toddler nodded, trying to understand whatever was thrown to him.

 

"War took away appa."

 

The same feeling rose up to Donghae and he leaned over, placing his face on Yoogeun's soaked-in-sweat wife beater. Letting Yoogeun see him release waterworks wasn't really something Donghae fancied doing.

 

"Umma why are you crying?" Yoogeun asked and wiped off Donghae's tears like how the blond did to Hyukjae before he left. 

 

"Don't cry, Umma. If Appa isn't here, i'll protect you."

 

------

 

Donghae clenched his jaw tightly, tapping his foot on the ground while waiting in line with another kazillion other people. War stopped a couple days ago, when North Korea decided they ran out of funds and financial support, and with that, Donghae yelled out in happiness while watching the news.

 

War ended.

 

Which meant there'll be a possibility of a returning Hyukjae.

 

Everyone were informed that the soldiers that fought in war were given a chance to phone their family, to inform them of their survival. The nurses were given a chance to call too though, to inform some families to pick up their beloveds', cold, lifeless bodies.

 

And Donghae couldn't wait for his name to be called.

 

"Kim Kibum."

 

Donghae watched as the skinny man walked up to the ringing public phone, and with shaky hands, picked it up and cupped it on his left ear. 

 

He must have felt really nervous.

 

The loud thud was heard as the phone slid out of the man's hand and landed on the floor, his face pale and body frozen. His mouth ended up hanging loosely as he started trembling more, as if he was going insane.

 

Looks like there's another dead body.

 

The commander in official suit clicke his tongue in slight annoyance at the pale young man's act of dropping the phone, and didn't cared less about his frail and uneasy exterior.

 

"Lee Donghae."

 

Donghae gluped as he felt Yooguen tugged slightly on his jeans, as if the child was hiding away from terrible reality. Most of the worried families in front of Donghae either came back crying or just lost consious out of despair, and it worried Donghae that the army might be arranging the calls made to a certain pattern that those with dead family members would recieve their calls first.

 

"Lee Donghae."

 

The commander tapped his feet at obvious impatientness, which to that, Donghae bowed slightly, picked up Yoogeun and rushed to the rusted piece of metal that either could make him rejoice or break him.

 

The phone started its shrill yelling of fate.

 

Donghae gave a sideway glance at Yoogeun, he looked so bloody innocent. The same child that has went through the ordeal of getting abused by a drunkard he called "father", and the same child that might potentially lose his current father. 

 

Yoogeun didn't deserve all that.

 

Donghae reached his lanky, shaky hand and gripped on the phone.

 

That was it.

 

Either he is safe

 

Or he dies.

 

"H-Hello?"

 

Before Donghae even knew it, the rusty metal was already cupped on his ear.

 

"Hae? I'm safe. I'll be coming back home soon. I miss you."