"What supplies do we have left?" Chanyeol asked as Baekhyun read through the inventory list.

"Five bags of rice, two melons..." He paused, narrowing his eyes as he looked into Chanyeol's. "And a load of christmas cheer."

"Good." Chanyeol replied. "We'll need it. How are the cookies?" Lay peered out from his small kitchen area.

"Um... Good." He said quietly. He approached the two slowly. "But what if this doesn't work? What if he doesn't like chocolate chips? What is we all die by his jolly jolly hands!?" Baekhyun slapped Lay roughly.

"Get a hold of yourself man!" he scree-ed. "No man be they Santa or human can resist a chocolate chip cookie!" Lay fainted but then stood up again because the story isn't over.

"What about the poison?" Chanyurr asked.

"I put that in a while ago." Lay moonwalked backwards through a rainbow and entered his small kitchen area again.

"Those supafly moves... They remind me of... The Valley..." Baekhyun looked off into the distance as he remembered his past, but was interrupted by a loud finger snap.

"Um, excu~se me boys!" Tao called out from his princess throne. "Why is my soy decaf latte not ready yet? I ordered it like 5 seconds a-" Tao was interrupted by a loud fart that none of the members owned up to. Suho rolled up to Baekhyun on his segway with his Balla shirt on and his solid gold dolla sign blang around his skinny white- neck.

"Yo yo yo, it's time fo da show!" Dat gank holla'd. 

"Suho! Thank god you're here!" Chanyeol cried. "There was a dangerously low level of swag in this area for at least three seconds!" Suho pushed Chanyeol's face out of the way and stared at Sehun, who was hugging Luhan tight out of fear.

"Mmmmmmmmmm..." Suho nodded with a smile. "Gays A'ight." Suho then jumped 50ft in the air and did a slam dunk.

"Suho, I know you're the bomb dignity," Luhan said, pushing Sehun off him. "But we need you to help us prepare for... The Kyunging..."

"Sehun is right." Baekhyun said. "What we need most now, is - KAI FOR GOD'S SAKE! THAT ING PARROT IS DEAD!"

"No he's not! You don't understand me! You're ruining my life, I hate you!" Kai cried angstly, the feathers of the taxidermy parrot.

"Aye Lassie." Kris appeared from the shadows with an eyeglass, inspecting the parrot. "That parrot in your maw be gone from this world. Ya 'ought ta bury that thing before he comes..."

"Wait... someone a dead parrot." Baekhyun gulped. "That reminds me of... The Valley..."

"Wait a second, did you say a parrot?" Luhan asked, but Baekhyun was too busy reliving his war days. "But that's one of the things that attracts... Kyungsanta..." All was silent in the house, before Tao did a loud fart. Turns out it was him the first time too.

"Quiet you fool!" Sehun slapped Tao, which lead to a full on cat fight. Twas the only thing that had ever happened that was as manly as Luhan.

"Yo I gotta stop dis, Kris hold ma shiet!" Suho did the dougie all the way over to the fight and pulled Tao out of the most pathetic fight ever.

"Owie, Owie, Owie!" Tao cried as he was dragged by his ear. "Umma, like totes can you not?"

"That's 'Grand-Master ay' to you!" Suho did a backflip and landed in a breakdancing spin. "So fly..." As if by a christmas miracle, the storyline progressed as they heard footsteps on the roof.

"He's here~..." Chen sung in a creepy voice. "You better watch out!" Xiumin joined him.

"You better not cry!" They sung together as more of a warning than lyrics.

"Why are you doing this to me!? Kai cried, sniffing his parrot. 

"Because we only just came into the story!" they cried simoultaneously. "WHAT IS THIS AUTHOR!?" The footsteps stopped when the two of them yelled.

"Ach!" Kris cried. "Ya 'ought not to have done that Lassie!"

"The cookies are ready!" Lay smiled, bringing his tray out with his 'I love orphans' apron on and his 'charity is my bank' chefs hat on. "Be careful, they're hot."

"PUT THEM ON THE ING PLATE!" Baekhyun suddenly screamed, causing Lay to faint again but only for a few seconds so he could put them on the plate with the cyanide-laced milk. Kyungsanta was near, and they knew it. The members hid behind their table bunkers and made weapons out of paper and crayons so they would feel safer.

"I drew this gun!" Xiumin said, flapping the paper gun around in the air.

"Don't point that thing at me you fool!" Sehun cried, using his plastic scissors to mangle the paper gun enough until it had ripped in half. Xiumin began to whimper, tears at his eyes.

"Aw shh, shh, don't cry!" Luhan said, picking up the ripped gun. "Look, see? Now you've got two baby ones." Xiumin took the pieces from Luhan and giggled, aiming at Sehun and making 'pew pew' noises. Chen began to look out the window in a distant way. His mind wandered.

"Why have I not had many parts in this story..? Do I smell?" Chen asked himself. "No. I believe this is a deeper matter, that for whatever the cost I must solve for the good of my own soul and-"

"Hey look a bird!" Chanyeol shouted, pointing at Kai's dead parrot.

"Woah, when did that get there!?" Baekyun screamed.

"His name is Bobo! He's been there the whole time! Gosh! Why do you hate me!?" Kai yelled.

"TeeHee." Luhan said.

"TeeScree." Xiumin replied.

"Careless, Careless, Shoot a naughty moose, A naughty moose." Chen yelled, trying to draw attention to himself. "Look I'm juggling bears!" Everyone turned to look at him. Chen stood still with a long face.

"No you're not." Baekhyun said.

"Shut up! You don't know me!" Chen tried to backflip because it had always been his lifes ambition to be as cool as Suho, but he landed on his face and got a oo. Baekhyun narrowed his eyes as he saw soot falling down the chimney.

"Ho ho ho Motherf*cker..."