It was a rough night for Kevin. He couldn’t sleep at all thinking about what happened last night. What was that feeling that triggered his soft side to struggle and keep on living? He doesn’t understand it at all. He shifts his body side to side trying to trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep but the image of his mom and Jihye kept flashing in his mind.

He wanted to clear his mind. This… whatever this is, is confusing.

He gets up and takes a bottle of water before gulping down half of it. But the feeling… the nervousness never left him. He slumps back on the bed trying to fall asleep.

Flash of images went through his mind again. The kindness his mother, how she loved him like he is the only thing valuable for her in this world… it reappears that night. How can that be when she is dead? Kevin shrugged.

 Then out of sudden, image of Jamie went through his head. How he saw his mother tortured, beg for mercy, and how she was being used like a slave… Then, image of fire engulfs her and took her away from him…

 

“Mom!” Kevin sprung up. It was a dream or his deep imagination.

But by that, he realized something. The feeling… that he has for his mom are the one causing the pain for years. And now he felt the same thing with Jihye… If he keeps this feeling toward Jihye… he will be hurt once again. One pain is enough already…

+”What if she just did that only to trick me like mother did. What if she left me after this… leaving me to suffer by myself?”+ Kevin wipes his forehead thinking about that.

 

Then Kevin came to an understanding, which he must not allow this feeling… whatever it is, grows toward Jihye… in order to prevent himself from suffering from the same pain twice. He can’t allow the history to repeat itself… In the end, everything will be the same. The evil and cruel people will be victorious while he’ll be hurt again.

With that, he falls asleep, determined to close his heart from receiving any kindness from another human being in order to prevent the pains that will come in the end.

 

 

---Jihye POV---

 

 

“Mmmmm… ahhh…” Jihye stretched after waking up from her sleep.

She was having a very goodnight sleep. The sun is up in the east with birds chipping, flying around searching for breakfast. Her stomach growls a bit because yesterday she didn’t eat much as she was preoccupied with something else.

 

Just then she remembers what happened last night. Was that all just a dream or did that really happened?

+“Aigo~ Babo Jihye! How can you think about this again early in the morning? Aish.”+ Jihye gets up from her bed.

She went for a shower and cleans herself up. The scene of him and her hugging on the rooftop kept rewinding in her mind… causing her hand and feet to curl and her heart to start beating furiously again.

+“Aish Jihye! You’re going crazy now!”+ she tried to wash off the thoughts.

 

The girls finished having their bath and already on their way to the kitchen. Jihye has been too nervous to see Kevin again because she kept wondering how Kevin will treat her after what happened last night. Will he be a gentle person like last night? Or will he treat her like a douche as always? She combed her hair while picturing Kevin in her head.

But regretfully, Kevin wasn’t there in the dining room. She glanced all over the place to be sure that he’s not there.

She approach Shin and shyly asks him.

“Umh, Shin…” She speaks slowly making Shin turns his head to face her.

“Yes, what is it Jihye-shi?”

“Um… Did you see Kevin this morning? I see that he is not here...” She tried not to sound like something is going on between them…

“Oh yeah, he was still sleeping when we got out of the dorm. He looks like he is exhausted… so we left and didn’t bother him.” Shin answered.

“Oh.. umm, ok. Thanks Shin-sshi.” She walks away awkwardly.

+”Didn’t he sleep last night? I was sure we got back to the dorm quite early…”+ Jihye shrugged.

 

While Jihye busy figuring out whether Kevin was asleep or not, someone is entering the dining room right in front of where Jihye is walking to.

 They bumped into each other on the head making both retreats backward grabbing their forehead.

“Ouch! Sorry for that…” then she realized that she bumped into Kevin.

Her heart starts beating fast again seeing him in front of her. And her face turns red when she remembers what happened last night… She was waiting for Kevin to speak first as she doesn’t know what to say herself.

“Umm…” Jihye looked down and played with her finger… still blushing.

 

But unexpectedly, Kevin just walks away toward the counter to grab some food. He just look straight and never showed any sign of disturbance or care for what happened between them last night.

Jihye’s jaw dropped. She wasn’t expecting that. She went back to her seat but still keep an eye on Kevin’s movement.

Kevin picks up the tray and turn around to find a seat. Unfortunately, every single place in the dining room was already full except a place right beside Jihye. She also realized that and she somehow pushes her tray a bit to make the place next to her more spacious.

But again, Kevin avoided an eye contact with her. He just grabbed the bread and put the tray back onto the counter. Then he walks out of the dining room leaving Jihye and everyone else without a single word. It took a while before Jihye realizes what just happened…

He’s avoiding her completely… Her shoulder dropped and her eyes narrowed forming tears which she quickly wipes away without anyone noticing. She doesn’t know why she wanted to cry but she controls her tear from falling down. She’s confused why her heart aches by what he just did. He was used to him taunting or calling her stupid, but being ignored? And after what had happened last night?... She doesn’t know anymore what to think.

 

 

---Kevin POV---

 

It’s morning already. He could feel someone tried to wake him up.  But he is so exhausted because he didn’t get enough sleep last night. The entire night was a torture for him. But his tummy forces him to wake up because he didn’t eat anything at all since yesterday.

He stood up and went to the bathroom to take a bath before hurrying himself to the dining room. For now, all that matter to him is food. He fast to the dinig room and didn’t care about anything else other than food. He opened the door and…

Bam! He bumps into someone in front of the door. He quickly looks in front of him and saw Jihye massaging her forehead…

+”Crap! It’s her.”+

Kevin heart starts beating wildly when he saw jihye’s face slowly turning to him. But the other side of him forces him to look away he already decided before that.. he won’t let the weird feeling grows anymore inside of him... He walks away quickly from Jihye toward the counter yet he can feel that Jihye is watching him.

+”Oh God, if you really do exist… let me go through this peacefully. I can’t take anymore torture that you’ve given onto me.”+ Kevin cried silently in his heart.

He tried really hard not to look at Jihye.

Now he got the tray, he searches for a space to settle down. The front tables already filled with mostly boys. He can’t find even a small space between them. Then he looks at the other tables.

He found one table that has an empty space. He’s about to go there when he realized that Jihye is sitting beside it.

Her shiny long hair really stands out that morning. Her beautiful white clothes matches well with her milky white skin that it almost makes no difference between the clothes and the skin. Her gentle and small hand touches the tray in front of her… oh how Kevin wishes it’s touching him instead. How her lips looks pinkish and soft. And now her face is slowly turning to him, ready to give him a blissful gaze…

+”, I’m feeding that feeling again!”+ Kevin recovered from his joyful moment.

He knows that he can’t stand there any longer for he doesn’t know what the unexplainable feeling might drive him into. He grabs the bread and left the tray back on the counter. Without moment wasted, he dashed out of the kitchen trying real hard not to stumble on anything. His eyes want to take a glance over Jihye’s direction, but he successfully went out of the dining room without looking at her. He didn’t know that rather than making himself feel free from painful feeling, he’s making both himself and Jihye suffer inside.

 

 

 

A week passed by with Kevin avoiding Jihye, and Jihye tried to do the same too. They have been avoiding each other ever since but the aching feeling inside their heart are worsening each day. There was a onetime where they almost ran into each other from opposite direction in the corridor, but Kevin quickly turns around and went back to wherever he came from… that kind of action makes Jihye aches inside. It is worse than him saying nasty stuff to her or giving her cold stares. She has been crying at night, not knowing the source of her sad feeling. She should be happy that he stopped harassing her with bad remarks or cold stares…

Same goes to Kevin. He couldn’t sleep well at night thinking about Jihye. He thought that avoiding Jihye would sooth the aches in his heart, but it kept worsen. Moreover, with Jihye avoiding him back, he felt like it’s thousand more painful than before. Why did he wanted to be with Jihye, he doesn’t know. He’s still trying to convince himself that all of this will go away soon and things will go back to normal as they were before.

Jihye has been volunteering herself for duties to try shifts her mind from thinking about Kevin all the time. She also thought that by busying herself with work, she will forget about Kevin and move on to a better life. But she can’t concentrate at all in whatever she’s doing. She kept messing up in her chores that madam Nara ordered her to take a break from doing anything at all. She tried many things to stop herself from thinking about him.

Maybe time will cure whatever sickness she’s having at the moment…