August 21, 2013

You were walking down the streets of Gangnam, in comfortable casual clothes with a pair of sunglasses on top of your head, and a small purse to match.

It was your 2nd week in Korea, and hell. You wanted to stay here forever. Everything was perfect. The people, the places, the weather, even the dogs were perfect.

You came here to study for 6 months to learn more about the culture and the people because you wanted to be a diplomat in the future.

You took out your phone, hoping to get decent WiFi reception so that you could check the map and see where you were headed.

But suddenly…

-THUD-

Next thing you knew, you, all your stuff were scattered on the floor, your shades were out of place, your phone was in pieces.

, someone’s going to die today.

You looked up to see who bumped you, but because of the sunlight, you couldn’t see the person’s face. The stranger was muttering fast, and took out his hand for you to take, but because you were pissed, you got up on your own as you wiped your clothes clean from the ground dirt.

 ”What do you think your problem is?! Can’t you see where you’re going? You ing broke my phone!” you suddenly started screaming, because your day just got ruined by some jackass.

 The sun shifted, and you were able to make out who the person was in front of you, as they kept surveying the area with panicked eyes.

But those deep dark brown eyes were too familiar to you.

 

Hair styled to perfection, 

 

body of a God,

 

but lips like an angel’s. .

 

It couldn’t be… . 

 

"K-kai?" you stutter out, trying to see if it were really him, "E-X…O’s Kai?" You whispered, knowing that if you talked any louder, someone might hear, and run towards him and probably tackle him.

But he heard you, and looked at you alarmingly, he was obviously out of breath, but  he tried to speak, “Y-y-eah. .  Are you one of those sasaeng fans?” he asks, keeping his guard up, aware that if you were one, you would probably be trying to kiss him on the spot.

 You were still star struck, but you managed to speak, “Ye..ah? I’m a fan, but not one of those. I haven’t even been to any of your concerts or fan signs, but I’m still a fan,” you awkwardly say. His body relaxes instantly, but as he heard the familiar running footsteps that have been chasing him for a good 30 minutes now, he grabbed your hand, and started running towards the right.

 ”WAIT! My purse! My phone? What abo—,” 

"Don’t worry about that! I’ll take care of them later! Come on!"

After a good 5 minutes of navigating you both through croded walkways, and alleys, you both ended up in the

BWCW store. It was closed, but Kai brought out his wallet, and took out a key that opened it.

You were planning on visiting this store tomorrow, but why the hell not now? It was amazing, and thank god you decided to keep your wallet in your pocket rather than your purse today.

 ”Take a look around, uh….” Kai suddenly stops realizing he hasn’t gotten your name, 
"My name is Julli, nice to meet you, Kai-shi." you quickly say and bow down to show your repect. He shows you that to die for smile, and quietly chuckles,

"Call me Jongin, Julli-ah, it’s fine. I’ll just clean up the lounge for us ok?" you nodded in response and you watched Jongin leave.

 You looked around, and saw numerous polaroids of EXO, and lots of doodles on the walls made by them too. This was like fangirl heaven. You take a look around the merch, and see a WOLF 88 shirt with KAI written in front. You the hanger, and placed it to your body to check if it fit, and it did. You made a mental note to buy it when you had the time.

But oblivious to you, Jongin saw what you just did, and it warmed his heart.

"Julli-ah!" you heard someone shout your name, "Come up here! It’s clean now!"

You made your way upstairs, and saw Jongin waiting for you by the door, he takes out his hand and leads you into another room.

 He points you to take a seat, and you did, you were tired from running around all day anyway.

 ”I’m sorry about your purse, and your phone. Let me replace them okay?” Jongin suddenly says as he approaches you, “Are you a tourist? Or?”

 ”I just moved here recently, I’m studying here for a good 6 months and i’ll be moving back home after,” you explained, as you felt Jongin take a seat next to you.

"I see, so I guess I have little time to get to know you then." Jongin says.

 Both of you spent the next couple of hours, getting to know each other and talk as if you were long lost friends, and for Jongin, it was nice, knowing that there are fans out there who CAN be normal people.

You told him that you loved the color pink, caramel macchiato, drawing and everything else.

He tells you things about him that the public don’t know, and to your surprise, he’s much like you.

 ”You really are something, Julli. I’m so glad I ran into you today,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes, “I hope I get to see you more often.”

 You looked at him, and nodded because you wanted that to happen too.

Jongin’s eyes suddenly lit up as if he just thought of something great, “It’s the 21st today right . . ? Let’s make a deal. Every 21st of the month, i’ll meet you here, same time.”

You looked at him with a confused face, because it was so out of the blue. 

“But how will I get in here without the key? It’s private for you guys only isn’t it?” 

He stops for a moment and hands you his own key, “Here, I have another one back in the dorm anyway,” he says giving you a full smile.

You smile back, and you both continue talking for another couple of hours… 

 

. . completely forgetting about your purse and your phone.

---

 

September 21, 2013

A month has passed, and you’ve completely settled in your apartment. You checked what date it was today in your small desk calendar and it marked September 20th.

You smile a little, knowing that you get to see him again today.

It was still early, you decided to get homework done, and prepare yourself a yummy brunch before getting ready to head out to go.

 Before heading out, you placed the sushi you prepared for you and him to eat in a paper bag, got your wallet, placed it in your pocket, and as well as your dummy phone that you thankfully brought with you in case something happens to your iPhone. But still, you made a mental note to ask Jongin to replace what he broke.

He may be an idol and all, but he owes me that , get real.

You made your way down to Gangnam once again, finally being able to make your way around without getting lost, and you see the BWCW shop full of people, and your eyes widen in shock.

 You struggled to get in, because of the amount of fangirls taking selcas and pictures in the shop as if it were a museum. You rolled your eyes at each of them, because you’re pretty sure this is their 3rdtime being in this shop for the goddamn week.  

After rummaging through your pocket for the key to the upstairs room, you finally had it in your hand.

 This was it. You were going to see him again. 

Your stomach was full of butterflies by the thought of hearing his laugh once more.

 You pushed the key through the hole, and turned it to the right, and opened the door silently,

 

 

Only to find an empty room.

 

 

You enter the room, trying to look for Jongin, but alas, he wasn’t anywhere in sight. Sitting down on the sofa, you notice a box on the table, and a small envelope taped on top of the lid.

Out of curiosity, you open the envelope, and read what’s written inside.

9/21/2013

I know it’s the 16th today, but EXO has a photoshoot today, and I didn’t know how to tell you, I’m sorry.

I don’t plan EXO’s schedules, but I will still try my best for you. ^^

I wanted to give this to you myself, but I can’t. TT TT, but i promise to see you again!

I’m sorry for leaving your old one in the streets, 

I hope you like it, Baekhyun hyung helped me pick it out!

Use it well!

— K

You open the box, finding an expensive looking pink purse with a golden key chain hanging from the strap with the letter “J” on it.

Damn, Baekhyun’s got taste.

You smiled at the fact that he remembered your purse, and tried looking for a piece of paper and a pen to write a small note for him to read when he gets back.

September 21, 2013

 Pink pink pink~~ waaaah !!

Thank you Jongin (and Baekhyun-shi) I will use this well, thank you for remembering!

Ps: I prepared some sushi for us to eat, but you have it and share it with your members~ ^^

I’ll see you next month! x

—Julli <3

 And with that, you left the sushi, and got your new pink purse, leaving the shop, and enjoying the rest of the day.

Already dreading for the next month to arrive.

---

 

October 21, 2013

The weeks seemed to have drifted by fast, and you didn’t even notice as school work begins to pile you, you barely even have time to breathe.

EXO’s been really doing good, because you see them in the news, the internet, and even in new billboards more often than before.

You were happy for them, because you were a fan after all.

You had morning class today, and before heading back, you stopped by the BWCW shop, with a puppy plushie for Jongin in hand because you knew how he loved dogs.

You hesitated buying it at first, thinking that giving him gifts was unnecessary, but he was your friend. You don’t see him a lot, anyway. Would it really do that much harm?

It was less crowded than it was last time, probably because everyone was still in school. You stepped inside the store and greeted the girl in the cashier,

"Is…Jongin here today?" you asked in a nervous voice, worried that she would lie to you because you were some stranger asking for Kai.

"Are you Julli?" she asks with a smile on her face, "I’m sorry but he couldn’t make it today,"

Oh.

"…but he did ask me to give you something." she says as she handed you a small paper bag, and bowed.

You took the package, and smiled at her, and made your way upstairs to leave the plushie you were supposed to give him today.

As you open the door, you are welcomed by the sight of the same room.

 

Same chairs,

 

same pictures,

 

same table,

 

 

and still no sign of him.

- - -

 

You went went back to your apartment, trying to shrug of the sad feeling that was eating you.

You couldn’t shake it off, but you figured that if you occupied yourself, you’d forget it eventually.

The moon was up in the night sky already, and you just finished your homework, completely forgetting to eat dinner.

You sighed, as you saw that it was nearly 10PM.

Dragging yourself, you opened the small television set you had and placed it to some music channel and started preparing cup noodles for yourself.

All your favorite KPOP songs were playing, and it made you feel better. Growl started to play, and you didn’t even realize it until you began singing and dancing to the chorus.

You stopped for a moment, realizing the package he left you earlier today. Mentally slapping yourself for forgetting, you took the small bag and took out the box that was in it.

You saw the box and saw an image on an iPhone on top of it.

", no way…" you muttered under your breath.

You opened it, to find a pink iPhone, just like your old one, and you quickly unlocked it, only to see that you already have 1 new message.

Your heart fluttered the moment you saw Jongin’s name, and instantly replied to his text. 

---

 

November 21, 2013

Ever since you got the iPhone from Jongin, you guys have been texting non-stop. Even when you had class, when he had practice, when he was at fansigns even. 

Usually at night, you would Facetime too, but it rarely happens due to how tired you both are. Thank God, too, because seeing his face, but unable to feel his presence hurts you more than it should.

He knew everything about you, as you knew everything about him.
He knew how you loved chocolate ice cream, how you loved watching the sun set, your favorite fruit, your favorite scent.

You were best friends.

But it was the 21st of November today, and Jongin had already told you the week before that they were having dress rehearsals, since their concert was next week.

You expected it, but you were happy knowing that you would still be able to talk to reach him in some way.

But for that whole week, you received no text from him.

Knowing he was really busy, you understood. You always understood his schedule, and he thanks you for that. 

Even though he didn’t send a simple “hi”,

call you up to talk to you for a few seconds,

or Facetime with you to show you what he and Sehun had been working on,

you always texted him, 

"Goodnight Jongin, work hard, stay safe, don’t miss me too much!"

before you drift off to sleep, dreaming of the day you get to spend time with your best friend personally … 

 

 

… the best friend who your heart secretly yearns that he could be the one.

---

 

December 21, 2013

Recently, EXO just released a mini Christmas album, and you instantly you knew they would be busy again.

Go figure.

Ever since their solo concert happened, you and Jongin have been talking less and less.

The long conversations you both once shared turned into shorter ones.

Then those short conversations turned into 1-word replies.

Until there was nothing left to say to each other anymore.

You even stopped sending him goodnight messages like you used to.

 

This was your last month in Korea, since your study program ends on January. You thought to yourself that it was fun while it lasted though, at least you got to meet him, and you were happy for awhile.

You started thinking how pathetic you were, for actually falling for the fact that he’d possibly have time for you.

 

He’s an idol. 

 

You’re just…

 

you.

 

Sighing, you decide to head out to town to grab something hot to drink, because it was Winter afterall.

You arrive at your usual Starbucks branch, and order yourself an espresso, take a seat as you take out the mini sketch book you always bring around for times like this.

A few minutes pass, and you suddenly hear Miracles in December by EXO playing over the speakers.

“Boiji annneun neol chajeuryeogo aesseuda”
^{I’m struggling to find you who I cannot see}

That line alone, makes your heart feel all heavy, and your began feeling tears forming in your eyes;

Each verse, each line.

Reminded you of him.

You stood up, and quickly ran out of the shop, having the verse sang by D.O. making your tears finally fall out of your eyes,

"Dan han gaji motaneun geoseun neol naegero oge haneun il"
^{But theres just one thing that I can’t do…
and it’s to make you come to me}

Trying to calm yourself down, you take a walk, heading to a place your mind can easily go to even with your eyes closed.

 

The BWCW shop.

 

You step inside, to see a few people shopping for merch, and you shove yourself passed them, trying to make your way upstairs.

 

To where it all began.

 

You open the door, and sit down on the same couch, closed your eyes and let your heart beat steady for a moment.

Your brain scolded you for going here, because it knew it would only get yourself hurt more, 

 

but deep inside,

 

 

you knew this is where your heart belonged.

---

 

December 25, 2013

Christmas day, and you’re spending it with your laptop, which really didn’t bother you. 

The city would be full, knowing that people would be eating out, buying each other gifts and just walking wherever with whoever, so you decided to stay in.

You Skype-d with your friends back home, wishing them a Merry Christmas, texted your friends in school and even wished your Tumblr followers the same.

As you were scrolling through your contact list, you see his name.

You battle your conscience in weather or not to text him, but you ended up doing it anyway.

Your heart started to ache hard, missing the old conversations and the stories you both shared.

How could something so precious,

be forgotten in a short amount of time?

It took you all the courage in the world to keep the conversation going, and by someDecember miracle, 

he replied.

It wasn’t like how it was before, but it was a start, you thought to yourself. You both made small talk, as if you were acquaintances. 

But what made you smile was when he sent you a picture of the puppy plushie you gave him before ending your text conversation.

 

He said he named it Jjangu.

 

You felt happy, and sent him one last message before sleeping and calling it a night.

"Goodnight Jongin, work hard, stay safe. ."

"…don’t miss me too much? :)"

---

 

January 21, 2013

It was 9:21AM and you  have 9 hours left to enjoy the country, as you were going back home.

Your time was up here, you were done. You no longer had no reason to stay.

After New Year’s, you decided to dedicate the whole week in to packing all your things, and visiting all the shops you could, as well as spending time with your friends.

Bringing both your luggages out the door, you take one last look at your apartment before going down and surrendering the keys to the owner.

"It’s finally happening," you thought to yourself, "I’m going home."

You didn’t want to though, but you had to.

You asked the owner if you could leave your luggage here for a few hours, before you head to the airport, and he approved and told you to take care before you head out to take one last look at the city.

You passed by an EXO poster and saw them smiling, looking gorgeous as ever, but your eyes only focused on Jongin.

 

Kim Jongin.

 

The boy who was first your idol, 

but became your friend.

 

The boy who would could make your heart race but just sending a text,

but was able to break it by just fading away.

 

The boy who promised,

but couldn’t.

 

The last conversation you and Jongin had was when you told him you were leaving on the 21st of January, and that was nearly 2 weeks ago.

He told you he was sad, and that he wished you could stay longer because he’ll miss you.

You laughed at his words, but it made you sad too.

You managed to fall for this boy, even if you’ve only seen him once.

It was funny, and pathetic, you thought.

 

But it happened.

You were in love with the thought of him being yours.
You were in love with his words, his smile, his laugh.

His everything.

 

But he will doesn’t know,

 

… and he never will.

 

- - -

 

Finally at the airport, waiting to board, you take this opportunity to text all your friends you’ve made here in the country, and say thank you.

You made good friends, and good memories here.

But you thought that what happens in Korea, stays in Korea.

You even sent a text to Jongin,

the very last message.

---

 

Oblivious to you,

Jongin was in the shop.

He was in the room, carrying caramel macchiato, and the WOLF 88 shirt with his name in front that you never got the chance to buy.

He thought that you were going to stop by here, for one last time since it was the 21st after all.

 

He knew how you both drifted apart,

he knew that he missed you,

And he wanted to say sorry, and apologize for what he’s done.

But what he didn’t know was how it felt to come here every month,
only to see an empty room.

He didn’t know what it was like to have everything remind you of him,
he didn’t know.

Sitting in the room for almost 3 hours, his phone vibrates and his eyes widen to see your name.

He opens the message, and wondered why you were saying ‘goodnight’ to him, because he thought this was the same message you would send him every night before,

until he read it word per word.

 

 

it wasn’t goodnight,

 

 

 

 

it was goodbye.

 

---

 

A/N:

I'm sorry that was terrible, omfg. It was 5Am while I wrote this, so there's probably gramtical errors everywhere. D:
I hope i didn't do that bad though, i'm trying~ We're updating the first fic, as we speak tbh. ;3;
Please bare with us for awhile. <3
Comments and subbies make us happy, yehet. :3

Anyway, here.

Have some Jongin.

Enjoy your day! o3o

/queue incoherent sobbing omFG JONGIN HELP/