Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

--Jean-Jacques Rosseau




When Hyunsik had offered him a place to stay, Kyungsoo didn’t think that it would be a nice place.


Kyungsoo had accepted it without thinking, because he needed a place to stay and the apartment was not far from his university.


The first few days were all right.


They were high-school friends, but they were never close. Despite the fact that they were living in the same apartment, lately they hadn’t really talked to each other because the two of them were busy with their own schedules.


Hyunsik was popular in high school, while Kyungsoo was the opposite. Unlike Hyunsik, Kyungsoo never really talked much to the people he didn’t know. Which made him wonder if Hyunsik had a girlfriend. If he had one, Kyungsoo wanted to tell him that it was all right if she ever wanted to come over. He would feel really bad if Hyunsik hesitated to invite his girlfriend just because there was him. Kyungsoo wouldn’t mind locking himself in his room for their private time—or better, he could go out for a couple hours.


It turned out that Hyunsik had a boyfriend instead.


Kyungsoo never really thought this kind of thing was a big deal, but still, it surprised him. Hyunsik was really popular with the ladies. If he wasn’t mistaken, Hyunsik even dated one of the most beautiful girls in their school back then. When Kyungsoo asked Hyunsik why he choose a man, the latter just snickered in return with a casual shrug.


Not that Kyungsoo minded.


As long as his boyfriend—whose name was Ilhoon—treated Hyunsik right.


Kyungsoo wondered if he ever got a girlfriend. He never had a thing toward girls no matter how beautiful they were. He recalled complimenting one of his seniors, Im Yoona, for the way she dressed, but that was it. The feeling was purely respect. His heart wasn’t thumping or anything.


The thought of having a boyfriend hadn’t occurred to his mind.


Kyungsoo woke up earlier than he was supposed to that morning. Instead of going back to sleep, the doe-eyed male decided to just open his window to let in some fresh air. Their apartment was located downtown, and his room was facing the street. Kyungsoo opened the window with a small smile, liking how the wind breezing into his room. It was a bit cold, though. Kyungsoo rested his arms by the window as he continued to gaze on the street.


That was when the male passed by.


The male was tall and had a slender, lean body. Even within the darkness, Kyungsoo could tell that the tall male was handsome. The street was still empty and no one else was there, so he got to enjoy the view by himself. It brought a smile to his face as he silently cheered for the male. Fighting, handsome one! Kyungsoo giggled and he kept on staring until the male was getting further and disappeared from his peripheral vision.


It was just like that.


Kyungsoo had nothing for the male at the moment.


Yet.


Several days later, Kyungsoo woke up right before his alarm clock rang. He had gone to bed earlier the night before, so he felt a bit refreshed. Kyungsoo stretched out his arms and yawned widely as he shuffled to open the window—which had become a habit whenever he woke up early in the morning. The weather was quite cold and in a few weeks, winter was coming, but Kyungsoo didn’t really mind the coldness.


Kyungsoo inhaled deeply as he gazed down at the street, but he forgot to exhale when a certain male passed by.


It was the same male he silently cheered for several days ago.


Same moment, same place.


Kyungsoo leaned forward in curiosity. The handsome male was clad in an oversized jacket and a pair of shorts. From his exposed feet, Kyungsoo could tell that the other male had a tan skin, and this time, he was running with a dog. Kyungsoo’s heart started when he heard the male’s laugh just as the dog barked to him. He found himself staring non-stop until the other male disappeared with his dog into a corner.


The male looked close with his pet and Kyungsoo always had a thing for someone who took good care of his pet.


What’s his name...?


Kyungsoo blinked in shock at his realization. He bit his lower lip as he curled his fist loosely on his lips, trying to understand what he felt.


Did I just...? I mean, a boy...?


Kyungsoo groaned.


Hyunsik must’ve influenced him.










***










“He’s definitely gay.”


It was the first thing that came out of Hyunsik’s mouth and Kyungsoo wondered if he should throw something to his flatmate’s face. Something like a flower vase. Really, telling Hyunsik was the last thing on his mind, but Kyungsoo’s curiosity grew bigger at the tan male. For the past few days, he had been waking up at least half an hour earlier just to test out his theory.


Kyungsoo was right.


The male was jogging in the neighborhood at least every two days in the morning. Sometimes he had his dog with him, sometimes he didn’t. The activities just kind of showed that the male lived nearby. And the possibility of him being gay, just like Hyunsik had said.


Kyungsoo pouted his lips as a silent reply, but Hyunsik countered it with a roll of eyes.


“I mean it, Kyungsoo-yah. If he lives in the neighborhood, then he’s definitely gay. Why did you think I choose this apartment in the first place? It’s downtown, it’s not that pricey, and most of the neighbors are gay.”


“B—but Soojung isn’t gay,” Kyungsoo protested with a wave of hand. Soojung was their cute neighbor who happened to live across the street. “I’ve seen her boyfriend once and he was really—“


“I believe that’s Amber. She’s flat-chested with really short blond hair.”


Kyungsoo deadpanned. “Amber.”


“Yeap. Amber’s so boyish, I don’t blame you for mistaking her as a guy...”


“B—but Jessica-noona! There’s this really handsome guy that comes to her place occasionally, bringing her flowers and gifts—“


“The delivery boy? Yes, I admit that Minho is really handsome...but yeah, Minho is Taeyeon’s cousin, so she will probably use his service. Which comes to the end of our discussion, because Taeyeon is dating Jessica.”


Kyungsoo gawked.


“I told you,” Hyunsik shrugged nonchalantly. He was doing his best not to smile, but upon seeing Kyungsoo’s genuine shock, he finally broke into a laugh. “Hey, don’t look like that. Not all of them are interested in the same- relationship.” Hyunsik kicked Kyungsoo’s ankle softly under the table, too lazy to lean forward to pat his friend. “Victoria-noona and Nickhun-hyung down the street are married. See? There are normal couples too around here. I can list down the other couples if you want?”


Kyungsoo shook his head.


“But isn’t it better if he’s gay? So that you can ask him out right away—“


“I’m not asking him out!” Kyungsoo retorted with a shrill voice.


“Sure, sure, ask him to marry you, then,” Hyunsik snickered at how ugly his friend’s face was right now. Damn, if only his camera was with him. However, his laughter died when Kyungsoo’s expression became gloomy and Hyunsik cleared his throat. “Look, Kyungsoo-yah. If you really want to know about him, why don’t you start running tomorrow? Wait for him until he shows up, and then join him.”


Kyungsoo was taken aback by the sudden suggestion. “That’s too bold! I—I can’t.”


“Why not? He won’t find it suspicious if you’re running too. It’s a normal thing to do.”


“B—but...no. No, I’m not that brave...”


“Yeah, well, you have to be brave if you want to know him better.”


“I—I just want to know his name, that’s all...”


Hyunsik frowned as he looked up at the ceiling, tapping his index finger repeatedly on his chin. “He does have a name. Let us call him J from now on.”


“J...?”


“From Jogging,” Hyunsik grinned knowingly. “Am I brilliant or what?”


Kyungsoo blinked momentarily. He inwardly wondered if he should throw something like a shoe into Hyunsik’s face, but then he nodded in approval.


“J it is, then.”










***










Kyungsoo sighed in disappointment as he closed his window.


He had been waiting for almost an hour, but J didn’t show up. Maybe the male decided not to jog that morning.


Kyungsoo got up to take a shower and studied for a bit more in his room. When he walked out of his room, ready to leave for the university, Hyunsik had already left. There was a pink-colored post-it taped on the refrigerator with tidy writings written on it:


See you, J. I mean, K. Dinner is on me tonight <3


Kyungsoo snorted at the <3, but nonetheless, he smiled.


It was only a little past ten AM when he stepped out of the apartment. His class started on eleven, but Kyungsoo just planned to go to the coffee shop to get a cup of hot chocolate. He loved sweet things, and hot chocolate in the morning was one of the things that could boost his mood up.


The black-haired male heard the birds twittering happily above him and he looked up. Kyungsoo had to close one of his eyes at the sudden eye-contact with the sun. The sky was so bright that morning. It was a beautiful view and something told him that it was going to be a good day.


Kyungsoo shifted his gaze back down. When he finally arrived at the coffee shop he frequented, a glimpse of familiar hair caught his eyes and he paused unsurely.


J...?


Kyungsoo was uncertain and yet curious at the same time, but he did nothing to approach the person who he thought looked like J. Afraid that he would make a mistake by spotting the wrong person, Kyungsoo turned to enter the coffee shop. However, his gaze was still fixed on the general direction of J that he didn’t see the person before him had closed the door before he got in.


Needless to say, the door closed right on his face.


It happened too suddenly that Kyungsoo didn’t even manage to scream. The sound of the door meeting his nose was horrible, and everything seemed to spin around as he stumbled backward with a hand pressing his nose. Fortunately, he was able to regain his composure.


“Oh my goodness!”


Kyungsoo heard someone opening the door and he felt himself being tugged closer by the wrist.


“Are you okay?”


Kyungsoo opened his eyes to show that yes, he was okay, but they became teary right away. He was unsuccessful on hiding the pain and a whimper escaped his lips.


“I swear I didn’t see you there! Is—is your nose okay? Wait, I’ll call my boyfriend, his brother’s boyfriend’s brother’s a medical student—“


“I’m okay,” Kyungsoo interrupted with a funny voice. After a few seconds, the pain slowly subsided. Kyungsoo sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but all he saw was chest. He blinked when he realized the male before him was tall—extremely tall to be exact—and he had to lift his face to get a good look. “I’m really okay. You don’t have to make the call, I’m just going to get a drink and leave. Really, it’s no big deal.”


“Then—then let me treat you as an apology,” the male apologetically said and offered his hand. “Please, I insist. My name is Park Chanyeol.”


Kyungsoo merely stared at the proffered hand before accepting it reluctantly. “Really, you don’t have to... I’m Do Kyungsoo...”


Chanyeol grinned. “Come on, let’s get inside. It’s cold out here.” The male then opened the door, but he held it open this time, making sure that he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. He patiently waited for Kyungsoo to step inside.


Kyungsoo turned his head to the spot where he caught J, but the latter was already gone.










***










Kyungsoo was lucky enough that his nose wasn’t broken. He didn’t know if it was a luck to get treated by Chanyeol, or if it was a curse because it turned out that Chanyeol was really noisy and embarrassing.


Nevertheless, he tried to be positive by thinking at least he had made a new friend.


And Chanyeol was good-looking.


Kyungsoo set up another plan to wake up early and waited for J, but his lecturer said that there would be a test tomorrow. Everyone just kind of gasped and decided that it was the best time to copy notes, including Kyungsoo. He spent the rest of his night studying, mentally whining because there were a lot of things to be memorized and his brain was full.


The male fell asleep by his desk.


By the time he jerked awake, the sun was already high. A swift glance at the alarm clock was enough to make him panic. Not only that he was unable to see J in the morning, he was also going to be late if he didn’t go now.


Kyungsoo took a bath and got dressed in a record time. He sprinted all the way to the university, forgetting that there was other ways to get there—like buses—and by the time he arrived, the test had already started.


The lack of sleep and the tiredness from running drained Kyungsoo, and he was unable to concentrate. He was unsure with his answers and it was safe to say that Kyungsoo would probably fail the test. When the lecturer said that the time was up, Kyungsoo’s mood dropped because he was really sure he would have another test.


At times like these, Kyungsoo needed something sweet. Usually he would do some sweet talk to Hyunsik and his flatmate would understand what he wanted. However, Kyungsoo wasn’t really in the mood to even talk to Hyunsik and he decided that he would find something sweet all by himself.


Cupcakes sounded nice.


Kyungsoo was quite picky when it came to food. Most of the stores sold cupcakes, but the one he craved right now just had to be the one that was sold in the station at least twenty-five minutes if he took the bus. But it will be worth it. With that in mind, he took the bus and headed to the said place.


The store wasn’t crowded when Kyungsoo arrived. He was quite the regular and he always ordered for the same cupcake. So when Sunyoung glanced at him and her expression became unreadable, Kyungsoo knew the cupcake he came for was sold out.


“Luna,” Kyungsoo said, a bit whining. “Don’t you have more? One will do.”


 “I wish I do, but I don’t,” Sunyoung said in guilt. “There was this girl...she said she was going to treat all of her friends because it was her birthday. Can I get you anything else...?”


“I don’t want anything else,” Kyungsoo sniffled. “I have such a bad day, I think it’s the only thing that could cheer me up.”


“Oh come on,” Sunyoung rolled her eyes. “I’m sure it’s not that bad. But really, everyone’s been ordering quite a lot today. I think we’re closing in early because Jinki-oppa said that he’s going home early tonight.”


Kyungsoo sighed in resignation, half-heartedly facing his destiny. “Well then I’ll just go home...”


“Excuse me...?”


Kyungsoo thought the male was asking for Sunyoung’s attention, so he only threw him a lazy glance. It turned out that the male was staring at him instead. “Y—yes?”


“I know the cupcake you referring to is the most popular one in the store, but have you tried one of these?” The male smiled kindly as he pointed to the box in his hands. It seemed like he had just purchased the rest of the flavor.


Kyungsoo pouted as he stared at the cupcake. “It’s lemon. I don’t like lemon.”


“Care to try first?”


Kyungsoo hesitated. He glanced at Sunyoung for help, but the girl winked at him and she pretended to be busy with the money. “But—but you’ve purchased them...”


“It’s all right. My friends don’t really like cupcakes. Even if I bring three boxes home, I will be the only one to eat them. I think I’m the only one with the sweet tooth...”


Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows. “I know how that feeling. My flatmate always gives me a judging glance whenever I have too many cupcakes.”


The male laughed sincerely. He offered the box once again at Kyungsoo. “Come on, have a try.”


Kyungsoo was still hesitant for a little while. However, thinking that he was still in the store and Sunyoung was there for him—she could always scream for help if anything happened—he braved himself to take one and bit on the cupcake daintily. Unexpectedly, he blinked.


“Y—you’re right. It’s really good!”


“I know, right?” The male grinned proudly. “Honestly, I was like you—come on, lemon cupcakes? But then my favorite ones were sold out and I’m craving for a cupcake so I decided that I should try...oh, by the way, my name is Kim Jongdae.”


“I’m—I’m Do Kyungsoo.”


“Nice to meet you, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae smiled warmly. “You know, if you’re not busy, we can stick a little longer here until Luna’s done with everything and have a chat...? I’m kind of waiting for my boyfriend, anyway. Unless you have somewhere you need to be...?”


Kyungsoo looked thoughtful for a while. He wasn’t sure if he should leave or stay...but Jongdae looked like a kind person, and Kyungsoo didn’t mind his company.


“Yeah...yeah, it would be nice.”


“Great!” Jongdae grinned widely.


Kyungsoo was munching the rest of his cupcake when he thought he saw J passing by. He almost choked on his cake at the sight. If he moved his quickly to leave Jongdae and ran after him, he could probably get his name and number.


But Kyungsoo was a lot scared if it was the wrong person, so he just stayed in his seat and chatted more with Jongdae.










***










One morning, Hyunsik had left a note that he wouldn’t be home for dinner, so Kyungsoo went out to grab something to eat.


He looked for a place with free wi-fi so that he could browse the internet. Kyungsoo brought his tablet along, and when he had done eating, the male spent more time alone as he searched for recent news and updates.


Hyunsik’s probably home, Kyungsoo thought as he cast a glance at his wristwatch. It was a bit late, and he should probably go home now. The male inserted his things into his bag and slung the strap over his shoulder. Kyungsoo looked at his surrounding as he walked home.


Few people passed by and laughed with his friends. Some of them were holding hands, and it caused a strange sensation to bubble in Kyungsoo’s heart. He had never considered the possibility of having a girlfriend before, and not even a boyfriend. Being in a relationship scared him, but it probably just because he had never tried it before.


And it seemed nice to be able to hold hands with someone that he liked...


Kyungsoo was about walk to the opposite way when he saw someone who looked like J entering a bookstore. It was a bit dark, and he reminded himself that it could be other person, but...for the past few days, he had been doing nothing because he was afraid it was the wrong person. When would he ever find out if he kept on being like this...?


Without thinking, Kyungsoo ran across the street to find out if it was really him. The light turned red when he was in the middle of the street and he quickened his steps. Kyungsoo made it to the bookstore with a ragged breath. He waited for a minute to calm down before entering the said place. It looked small from outside, but when Kyungsoo had gotten inside, he gaped at how huge the place was.


It could’ve been sorcery.


Kyungsoo twiddled his fingers hesitantly, not sure how he was going to look for J in the sea of people.


He decided to wait by the entrance, but people were starting to give him weird looks as they passed by. Kyungsoo scratched his nape sheepishly before randomly walked to a shelf. He looked around quietly, but there were a lot of places to look at. A bit desperate, Kyungsoo decided to just ask for an employee who happened to be on a ladder, who was placing books to the higher shelves.


“Excuse me,” Kyungsoo said nervously. “Did you happen to see...um, a tall, handsome, tanned-skin male passing by?”


The employee batted his eyelashes rapidly at Kyungsoo. His nametag said ‘Minseok.’ Minseok gave him an unreadable stare, like Kyungsoo had just said something very stupid. “I’m pretty sure you just described most of the customers in this place.”


“I—I see. It’s just that...you’re...in a higher place...I was just wondering...” Kyungsoo dragged a hand down his face. Minseok was right. It was impossible to look for J. Kyungsoo didn’t mean to sound sad, but his face showed otherwise. “Thank you...”


“Wait,” Minseok said with a defeated sigh. “Let me take a look first.” The male climbed up slightly to get a better look at everyone. Minseok narrowed his eyes in examination and Kyungsoo waited nervously below him. “Tall, handsome, tan skin... Just curious, though. What is he wearing?”


“I—I’m not sure—“


“...perhaps a jacket?”


“It could be!!”


Minseok frowned, but it was more to himself than to Kyungsoo. “I could be wrong, because everyone seems tall from up here, but only one tan person...and I think he’s leaving as we speak.”


“What?” Kyungsoo shrieked. He automatically turned around to chase J. Some of the customers were in his way, and when Kyungsoo managed to free himself out of the crowd, someone was tugging him backward.


“Too late, he’s gone.”


Kyungsoo’s shoulders sagged because he knew Minseok was right. Almost everyone was looking at him, but Kyungsoo really didn’t care. He could still possibly spot J if he walked out of the bookstore now, but really, Kyungsoo just couldn’t bring himself to move.


“Hey.”


Minseok gently patted on Kyungsoo’s hair. “If I’m not mistaken, he bought this,” he said as he handed Kyungsoo a health magazine. “Maybe your crush is a doctor?”


“I—I don’t know...”


Minseok smiled as he gave another gentle pat on Kyungsoo’s hair. “Then I’ll just give the magazine to you. It’s the least I could do for you. Sorry for not being helpful.”


Kyungsoo beamed at Minseok and shook his head.


“No...”


He tightened his grip on the magazine.


“No, you’ve been very helpful...thank you...”

***

Kyungsoo never got to read the magazine.


He tried once, but he never finished reading it because it was all about health and diseases. It was a bit scary for Kyungsoo, and he wondered if Minseok was right. J was probably a medical student. Or a doctor.


It was drizzling that morning, so Kyungsoo had a feeling J wouldn’t jog. He closed the window with a heavy sigh.


The weather had gotten colder, but J still jogged outside. In a few weeks, there was a possibility that J might choose to stop running and opted for indoor sports like treadmill just for winter. If it happened, that meant no sight of J for at least four freaking months. Kyungsoo buried his head into the pillow, strongly determined to find out about J’s real name before it happened.


Although he had no idea how.


Hyunsik was sneezing when Kyungsoo walked out of his bedroom. The black-haired male thought his flatmate had caught a cold, but Hyunsik looked mighty fine. Kyungsoo was about to offer him a hot soup, but the view of something wrapped around Hyunsik’s neck distracted him.


“Is that new?”


“Yeah,” Hyunsik said sheepishly. “It’s from Ilhoon.”


“Ah, I see,” Kyungsoo examined the scarf for a second before commenting. “It’s really nice. Ilhoon has nice taste.”


“It is, right?” Hyunsik unwrapped the scarf from his neck proudly and shifted his weight to his other foot. “I should probably get him an early Christmas gift, too.”


“Christmas...right.”


It got Kyungsoo to think seriously.


J didn’t seem to wear a scarf too whenever he thought he had seen him in the streets. Judging from the sports he did, J wouldn’t have gotten sick easily. But still, it was important to cover the neck in cold weather, right?


It was Kyungsoo’s turn to cook dinner that day. But when he opened the cupboard to see what he could cook, there was hardly any ingredients left, so he went to the grocery store he frequented. Kyungsoo and Hyunsik didn’t really eat much. His flatmate tended to eat outside too with Ilhoon, so he decided not to stock so much in the apartment.


Kyungsoo was about to head home when all of a sudden, a scarf on display caught his attention. His mind flew to J and Kyungsoo’s feet brought him automatically to the store. A huge banner of ‘sale’ was blinking brightly by the entrance and he decided to just look around.


Kyungsoo had to pause for a moment to adjust his eyes. Stacks of colorful scarfs were everywhere in the place. The store was warm and Kyungsoo’s hand drifted to one of the scarfs, wondering what kind of color J would like. What kind of pattern J would like? What kind of material would J prefer...?


A ridiculous thought then occured to him. Would it be better if Kyungsoo just suddenly went to the tan male and told him that he had taken his breath away and that he thought the scarf would look good on him? Kyungsoo snickered bitterly.


J will freak out for sure.


Kyungsoo was distracted from his reverie when his phone vibrated. He fished his hand into his pocket to grab the device before bringing it to his ear. Hyunsik’s name was flashing on the screen. “Yeah?”


“Kyungsoo-yah! You’re in charge of dinner tonight, right?”


“...you make it sound like I’m going to cook for a hundred people.”


Hyunsik meekly chuckled and Kyungsoo knew that chuckle. It was one of the ‘I-have-a-request’ chuckle.


“Just spill it out.”


“Is it okay if Ilhoon is coming over for dinner?”


“If it’s just Ilhoon, you don’t have to ask.”


“Um...Ilhoon might bring his friend along...”


“Oh. Um, I guess I can stilll make it if it’s for four...”


“And his friend might bring his boyfriend...”


“Oh. I’ll just reduce the portion for each person then.”


“...and three other friends.”


“Are you insane??” Kyungsoo hissed.


“I know, but it’s just too sudden! I mean, I’ve been wanting to meet Ilhoon’s friends for some time, and it just happens to be tonight! Please, Kyungsoo? Please? Who knows, you might like one of his friends and go out on a date!”


“Shut up,” Kyungsoo growled. “Just—just exactly how many people are coming?”


“Plus you and me? There will be eight.”


“Eight?? Oh god, I’m gonna need to shop again. You’re so gonna have to pay for me later.”


“Yes! Yes, I will, Kyungsoo! Thank you so much, I know I could count on you!”


“I will poison your in your sleep.”


“Um okay, bye.”


Kyungsoo puffed his cheeks in dismay as he hung up. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Ilhoon to bring his friends along, it was just he hated the fact of having to go back to the grocery store to buy more ingredients. Well, he could always just opted for take-outs if he was that lazy to make a lot of food...


The intention to look for a scarf was forgotten. Kyungsoo’s mind was filled with what he should cook for a party of eight. He was about to turn around to leave, but then a couple by the nearest rack made him pause.


They had a significant height difference, but it was probably what completed them. Kyungsoo found himself staring in awe, because the shorter male had a really beautiful face. The taller male was really handsome with his blond hair, and Kyungsoo could tell that he had a Western or European blood ran in him. The couple was bickering over a nice-patterned scarf, one that Kyungsoo thought would fit J the most.


“This is really nice, Yifan,” the shorter male said softly.


“I know, babe,” the one called Yifan replied. “But I thought we’re here to buy Jongin a scarf?”


Yifan’s boyfriend pouted cutely. “I know, but we never have couple things...come on, try this one.” He tugged Yifan’s arm and the taller of the two leaned down with a defeated sigh. The beautiful male smiled smugly when the scarf was wrapped around Yifan’s neck. “There. It looks really good on you.”


Kyungsoo realized that he had been staring at the couple. He shook his head and scolded himself that he needed to go. Honestly, Kyungsoo still wanted to stay for a little longer because something about the couple was really endearing. He forced himself to turn around, but just as he did so, he witnessed how Yifan s an arm around the shorter male’s waist to pull him for a kiss. Their lips met and the next thing Kyungsoo heard was,


“I love you, Junmyeon.”


Kyungsoo’s heart ached slightly.


Maybe, just maybe, he wanted a boyfriend, too.










***










Kyungsoo knew he was supposed to try harder to find out about J’s name, but the following week was packed with assignments. He did not even wake up when his alarm clock rang. Kyungsoo tried his best not to think about J and to concentrate on his tasks and assignments first.


Saturday came too slow to his liking, and Kyungsoo was able to breathe in relief when the day came. It was a bit lonely in the apartment because Hyunsik had a class for the day, so he decided to go out by himself.


He wasn’t really far from his apartment when he saw J. Again, uncertainty rose within him, but it really looked like J from behind... Kyungsoo didn’t do anything until he was eighty percent sure and his heartbeat quickened in anticipation. He braved himself, determining that he would touch J’s shoulder, made him turn around, and preferably asked for his name—


—when all of a sudden, the man who was walking in front of him stopped abruptly.


Kyungsoo bumped into his back, hating the fact that it suddenly reminded him of his first unfortunate meeting with Chanyeol. He took a step back with a muffled groan.


“Sorry,” the male apologized first to Kyungsoo, but it was obvious from his expression that he wasn’t sincere.


Really, Kyungsoo didn’t mind, but then another person—who turned out to be a really pretty male—responded in irritation.


“Sorry?? Sehun, is that how you apologize when it’s clearly your fault?”


“What do you want me to say??” Sehun snapped rudely at the shorter of the two. He then turned to Kyungsoo with an annoyed expression. “I’m sorry, let me take you out to dinner.” Sehun jerked his head back to the pretty male. “Is that what you want, Luhan??”


“Um, it’s really okay—“


“No, it’s not!” The pretty male—Luhan—cried to Kyungsoo. Luhan jerked his chin like he was challenging Sehun. “You just like to do it, right, Sehun? You just like to make me feel bad! I told you I don’t want you to go with Lay anymore, but you just had to, didn’t you??”


“Um—I—“


“Luhan, how many times do I have to tell you that there is nothing, nothing for God’s sake between me and Lay-hyung! And besides, I just accompanied him because he’s been wanting to ask that guy in the bookstore—“


“Um, excuse me, I—“


Luhan’s eyes were starting to get teary and Kyungsoo felt himself panicking.


“I don’t believe you anymore!” Luhan was half screaming, and Kyungsoo wondered why the other pedestrians didn’t seem to be bothered by his whiny voice. If anything, Sehun just looked more and more irritated at his boyfriend’s behavior. “I want to break—“


“Don’t you dare say that!!” Sehun hissed as he lifted up his hand. Either it was to slap Luhan or anything else, Kyungsoo didn’t know. But the next thing Kyungsoo knew, he was standing between Luhan and Sehun, as if to protect Luhan and his hands were holding Sehun’s arm.


“WAIT!!!”


Something cracked loudly on the ground.


The three of them looked down and Kyungsoo whimpered dejectedly when he saw his phone was scattered on the ground. It must’ve somehow dropped from his pocket when he tried to stop the fight between the couple.


“Look what you’ve done, Sehun!!”


“Me?? It’s my fault?? It’s always been my fault—“


“Just—just don’t fight,” Kyungsoo said in exasperation. “It doesn’t matter, my phone never rings anyway...”


The couple continued to throw each other menacing comments.


Kyungsoo, who was still stuck between them, helplessly sent a gaze toward J’s last known appearance, but he knew that the male was nowhere to be found.










***










Kyungsoo really didn’t mind, but Sehun and Luhan insisted on buying him a new phone. He just didn’t want the couple to argue anymore, but surprisingly, they were holding hands as they picked a new phone for Kyungsoo.


Luhan’s eyes twinkled in excitement as he asked Kyungsoo if he wanted the phone to have a good camera or just a good design. Honestly, Kyungsoo just wanted to go home because of his failure to approach J. Maybe he should wait by the window for real and when J ever passed by, he could scream at the tan male that he wanted to know his name. Kyungsoo randomly pointed at a cellphone and Sehun paid for everything with his card.


Kyungsoo was shocked when he found out about the price.


When the employee unpacked the package of cellphone and she explained about the features of his new phone—which he didn’t really listen—Kyungsoo caught the view of Sehun leaning down to kiss Luhan softly, and it brought a smile to his face. If anything, he was glad that the couple didn’t break up.


And the positive thing was that he got a new phone, too.


The cellphone was definitely bigger than his previous one.


Two days had passed since then, and Kyungsoo still had a hard time holding the device. It also didn’t really fit his pocket jeans.


Kyungsoo was waiting for the bus that day and he was spacing out when all of a sudden, someone bumped into him rather roughly and he almost stumbled backward. He wasn’t ready with the sudden attack and Kyungsoo swore he could feel his foot hurting.


Fortunately, someone managed to grab Kyungsoo before he fell. “Hey, are you okay? Man, he really did bump into you without thinking! Is he drunk?”


Kyungsoo hissed painfully as he leaned to the other male for support. He definitely had pulled a muscle. Kyungsoo opened his mouth to speak, but then he realized his phone wasn’t there. “My phone,” he whispered as he looked at his hand and his face turned horror. “My phone! He got my phone!”


“What?? Zitao, that man is a thief! Go get him!”


The man called Zitao wasted no time as he dashed. Zitao’s shoulder brushed Kyungsoo’s by accident and Kyungsoo almost fell backward for real this time, but again, the other male managed to catch him by the elbow.


“Are you okay?” The male asked worriedly. “Sorry, Zitao is a bit reckless...”


“Y—yeah, just my ankle, I think,” Kyungsoo said and he forced himself to smile.


“Don’t worry, Zitao is the master of wushu. He will definitely get the thief. ...hopefully, if he doesn’t get lost...”


Kyungsoo sighed sadly and he bit back a sob. If Zitao didn’t get the phone, it was okay, he could always get a new one, but...the happy faces of Sehun and Luhan from yesterday reminded him that the phone managed to get them back together. Kyungsoo sincerely wished Zitao would get his phone back and he gasped when the male carefully dragged him to the nearest bench and knelt before him.


“May I...?” He asked, beckoning Kyungsoo’s shoes. Kyungsoo feebly nodded and the other male pried the shoes off as gentle as possible. “Hm...just a sprain, and it doesn’t seem bad...but it’s better if we go to the hospital to make sure.”


“Hospital?” Kyungsoo squeaked, shaking his head eagerly. “N—no, I’ll be all right, if you say it’s just a sprain, I will just go to the nearest pharmacy.”


“You can’t even walk, who’s going to take you there...? Don’t worry, my friend is one of the nurses there...he will not hurt you. What’s your name...?”


“D—Do Kyungsoo...”


“Kyungsoo, my name is Zhang Yixing,” Yixing smiled kindly and Kyungsoo felt like he could trust this man. “We’ll wait until Tao get back and then we’ll head there soon. Uh...we’ll probably take a taxi? But it’s just a few blocks away after the park...maybe one of us should just carry you.”


Kyungsoo blushed at the thought of him being piggyback to the hospital. He tried to jerk his ankle, hoping that he could walk, but it still hurt. “Are you guys...dating?”


Yixing blinked, astonished. “No. What makes you think that?”


“Just asking,” Kyungsoo replied cheekily. After seeing Yifan and Junmyeon, and Sehun and Luhan kissed, the thought of dating another boy didn’t really bother him lately. Maybe...maybe it was really all right. It wasn’t that girls were bad, but he just had nothing for them. “Do you have one...?”


Yixing seemed like he was about to reply, but whatever it was was quickly forgotten when he saw Zitao approaching them. “Zitao!” The male stood up worriedly. “Are you okay? Did you catch the thief...?”


“All I did was screamed ‘thief’ and then he got badly beaten,” Zitao shrugged as he casually handed Kyungsoo his phone. “Then everything went hectic and I just snatched this back. This is yours, right?”


Kyungsoo beamed gratefully. “Yes! Thank you so much! Thank you, Zitao...”


“Glad you didn’t get lost,” Yixing snickered as he nudged Zitao’s arm. “Anyway, we’re going to the hospital because Kyungsoo’s ankle is sprained. Think you can carry him?”


Kyungsoo gulped when Zitao took a moment to observe him.


“He looks as slim as Chen,” Zitao commented casually before nodding. “I’ll carry you.”


Kyungsoo didn’t think he had ever been that embarrassed before. Zitao and Yixing chatted in Mandarin like it was no big deal to carry a twenty-something years old person on the back. Everyone was looking at him, and Kyungsoo just buried his face deeper into Zitao’s slender back.



Minutes later, they arrived at the hospital and Kyungsoo was placed in an empty room. Zitao went away after that, but Yixing stayed with him. It turned out that Zitao was calling their friend—the one Yixing had talked about.


“Taemin, there you are!”


“Hello, Hyung.”


Kyungsoo’s throat went dry. The person called Taemin looked similar to J. Kyungsoo’s heartbeat accelerated as he stared, but then he realized it was a completely different person. J was much taller, and Taemin’s skin was too fair to be J. Kyungsoo let Taemin looked at his ankle and the latter smiled reassuringly as he stood up.


“I’ll just give you a gel, and you’ll be all right.”


“Thank you...”


“And you have to rest for at least two days. Try not moving too much. Wait here, I’m gonna grab the gel.”


Just as Taemin walked out of the room, he nodded to someone and Kyungsoo had a very strange feeling that it was J who had just passed by. Kyungsoo almost jumped off of the bed in surprise, but Zitao held him before he did something stupid. He ignored the confused glances he earned from the two men.


“I—I think it’s my friend...”


Yixing’s eyes softened. “Ah, really? What your friend’s name? Let me call him for you.”


Zitao adjusted Kyungsoo’s position on the bed and Kyungsoo felt grateful for everything they did for him, despite the fact that they had just known each other this morning. Kyungsoo visibly gnawed on his lower lip and shook his head.


“No, nevermind...”










***










Kyungsoo didn’t know how long had it been since the day he was determined to find out about J.


All the unexpected things that had happened for the past few weeks just kind of drained his spirit. Kyungsoo was close to desperation. It was just a simple wish. J’s real name and a chance to establish a conversation was all he ever asked.


As long as J noticed that there was a Kyungsoo in this world that was fond of him.


Kyungsoo was happy when the gel Taemin gave him worked wonderfully. He was able to walk around the bedroom and he carefully leaned some of his weight on his sprained foot, but the pain was gone. Kyungsoo then jumped around the bedroom excitedly—just because—and stopped when he almost tripped over the carpet.


The doe-eyed male sighed contentedly as he rested his arms by the window.


And suddenly, J appeared out of nowhere.


Kyungsoo froze in his track. He blinked unsurely at the view across the street. It could be just his mind playing tricks on his mind, because he had been wanting to see J very badly...


But no, it was really J.


Kyungsoo’s mind screamed loudly at him. It was as if his feet were transfixed to the ground, because he was unable to move. J was dressed in a creme-colored coat with his hands fished into his pockets and dear Lord he looks so handsome, and there was no scarf around his neck. Kyungsoo mentally cried at how good-looking J was before snapping back to life. In a minute, J was going to disappear from his vision.


Like all the days before.


No. I can’t lose him. I can’t...not this time.


It was probably too late to go down, so Kyungsoo took a deep breath before screaming at the top of his lungs.


“J!!!!!!”


Of course it was just an initial, and Kyungsoo didn’t expect J to look at him. But J seemed a bit surprised at the voice as he looked around in confusion. Kyungsoo breathlessly cried, wanting to scream that he was up here and not down there.


“J, wait!! Please, wait!!”


Kyungsoo hastily made his way out of his bedroom. It would take a lot of time if he waited for the elevator, so he chose to make use of the stairs. He was so hopeful that he didn’t even care if he was still dressed in an ugly t-shirt for bed and a pair of loose pants. Kyungsoo ignored the way his ankle throbbing slightly as he went down two stairs at one time and shut his eyes momentarily at the sudden light when he got out of the building.


“J—“


“Sunny, wait!!”


Someone crashed into Kyungsoo and they both fell to the ground. Kyungsoo gasped loudly when he felt something sticky splashed onto his clothes, seeping right into his skin. He glanced down at his t-shirt, only to find out that it was stained with yellow liquid—orange juice.


“Ouch,” the male who ran into him grunted in pain as he slowly sat up. His eyes widened when he saw Kyungsoo’s condition. “Oh my god, I am so sorry! I was chasing Sunny because she—Sunny, get back here!”


A really cute girl with two pigtails walked back toward the male with a scared look on her face. “Uncle Baek, I’m so sorry...”


“That’s why I told you to behave!” ‘Baek’ scolded Sunny. “I told you to wait for me, and now look at what happened!”


Sunny looked like she was about to cry. The girl gripped the end of her skirt tightly and her lips were trembling. “S—sowwee Uncle Baekhyun...”


Kyungsoo took a minute to register everything that happened and he went speechless. His eyes went to the man whose name was Baekhyun and how Sunny was doing her best not to cry. Suddenly, Kyungsoo just felt tired. He was tired at his endless unfortunate events and he couldn’t take it anymore.


So Kyungsoo burst out crying.


The moment he did, Sunny cried too beside him.


Baekhyun went horror at them.


“I...” Kyungsoo gasped loudly between his tears. “I just want to know his name...is—is that too much to ask?”


“What did you mean?” Baekhyun looked confused as she pulled Sunny into his arms. But Kyungsoo didn’t reply anymore because he kept on sobbing. The way Kyungsoo’s shoulders shook from the tears was heartbreaking. People were giving them looks and Baekhyun sighed apologetically as he reached out to Kyungsoo. “Listen, I live across the street with my brother Taejung. Can I at least wash your t-shirt as an apology...?”


Kyungsoo was so sad that he was unable to mention that his apartment was much closer, and he let Baekhyun dragged him across the street.


The next thing Kyungsoo knew, they were sitting in Baekhyun’s living room. Kyungsoo had changed into a clean shirt, which seemed to be Baekhyun’s because they were about the same size. Sunny happily hummed a song as she took Kyungsoo’s stained shirt and disappeared into one of the rooms.


Kyungsoo was a bit calm when Baekhyun had made him a cup of chamomile tea. He slowly sipped the hot drink, relishing the wonderful smell before placing the cup back to the table. “...I’m sorry...”


“I should be the one to apologize,” Baekhyun shook his head disapprovingly. “But really...um, let me get this straight. So you’ve been wanting to know a guy’s name, but then someone slammed the door in your face but you got a free drink as an apology treat, someone bought the cupcakes you love so much and you got to taste another flavor, got a free magazine in the bookstore, saw a lovely couple and you wanted to be like them, damaged your phone when you tried to stop a couple from breaking up but then got a new one in return, got robbed because of your new phone and then your ankle was sprained, and now...got splashed by a glass of orange juice.”


Kyungsoo nodded lifelessly.


“Wow,” Baekhyun breathed. “That is...um, I don’t know how to respond. Just for a guy’s name.”


“You don’t have to,” Kyungsoo retorted dryly. “I know, I am pathetic.”


“No, you’re not...look, I’m really sorry. If only Sunny wasn’t running, you probably would’ve made it...”


Kyungsoo’s attention was fixed on the cup as he smiled. “Nah, even if I did, I probably would’ve stopped before I got to him. I hadn’t even taken a shower while he was...well, he looked like he was ready for a party...”


Baekhyun tried to cheer him up. “Just—just think of those as a few unfortunate events before Christmas. Who knows, after this everything will go smooth for you.”


Sunny showed up with tears in her eyes. “U—Uncle, I think the washing machine is broken...”


Kyungsoo laughed, but it was a sincere one. “Don’t worry, pretty Sunny, just let it be. I think this shirt will have to make up for it,” he said as he pointed at the shirt he wore.


Baekhyun grinned. “Just think of it as a start of our new friendship.”


“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said softly. It sounded really nice. “Friendship.”


“And oh, Kyungsoo? If one day you’re tired of trying and you don’t want to find out anymore, let me introduce you to one of my friends.”


Kyungsoo could only smile in return.


“Thank you, Baekhyun...”










***










How long had it been since Kyungsoo was obsessed with J?


He had lost count.


Even though Baekhyun had offered to introduce someone to him, Kyungsoo just couldn’t stop thinking about J. J might have been his first love, and like they said, first love never died. He had never felt like toward anyone before, and Kyungsoo just wanted to keep on trying until he was really helpless and lost.


Hyunsik called him an idiot for his dedication and determination, but Ilhoon thought it was very sweet.


Kyungsoo decided to buy a scarf for real this time.


The doe-eyed male decided to wait outside his apartment for J’s appearance. The weather was cold, but it didn’t stop Kyungsoo from trying. Kyungsoo had taken a shower, combed his hair and put on some cologne. He felt a bit stupid, because he was only waiting for J—who had the chance of not showing up—and yet he acted like he was going out on a date with him.


Kyungsoo waited and waited, until his hands and nose turned cold. He thought of going back inside only to fetch for a pair of gloves, but what if J suddenly showed up and he missed another chance to see him? Kyungsoo sniffled almost desperately, bringing the paper bag closely to his chest.


Please. I just want to know his name.


Kyungsoo was already on the verge of his tears when it started snowing. It wasn’t even December yet, but the snow had fallen for the first time that year in Seoul and Kyungsoo glanced up at the cloudy sky.


Maybe it wasn’t his luck.


Who knew if J was actually dating someone?


Maybe he should stop...


Kyungsoo fluttered his eyes close as he extended a hand to feel the snow. He stood up and turned around in his tracks. It was as if the world around him was spinning, and Kyungsoo could feel himself falling to the ground—


—when a pair of hands caught him by the waist.


“Whoa,” someone said. “Are you all right?”


Kyungsoo lazily cracked his eyes open to look at his savior, but then his breath hitched when he realized it was J. It was really J. Holy it’s really J. Kyungsoo’s throat went dry because dammit J was really good-looking up-close. He was really tall and slender and lean and perfect and smelled wonderful and nice tanned skin and Kyungsoo really needed to stop because J’s hands were on his waist and he was going to die because dshksjfsdfhds his hands are on my waist—


“Is there something on my face?” J asked in amusement at Kyungsoo’s expression.


Kyungsoo thought of the perfect sentence to begin everything, like hi I love you already would you marry me or something less cheesy like hi do you mind if I join you in the morning and we’ll jog together just to get to know each other better?


But of all the sentences he could say, Kyungsoo chose to hand him the item he had been holding.


J frowned in confusion as he accepted the paper bag. “For me...?”


Kyungsoo nodded silently. His eyes were filled with nervousness and fear, but he realized it was his only chance. It was now or never. “I—I realize you never wear a scarf...”


J looked like he was amazed by Kyungsoo’s words. The taller of the two slowly opened the bag as Kyungsoo continued to speak.


“The other day, I...I saw a lovely couple shopping for Christmas. And they...they just looked so happy and content with each other, and I realized...I realized I wanted to be like them, too. It’s—it’s totally unrelated to us,” Kyungsoo paused as he chuckled awkwardly. “But I just—I want to buy it for you so you will feel warm and...”


Kyungsoo held his breath when J took the scarf out of the bag.


“Couple scarf,” J said softly when he realized Kyungsoo was wearing the same pattern.


“Y—yeah...um, it’s the same pattern with the ones the couple bought too, so, um, you don’t have to worry because it will not just be us who wear them,” Kyungsoo ranted and mentally berated himself. He felt his cheeks burning, but it was all right, because it was J.


The man he had fallen deeply for.


J pursed his lips thoughtfully. “What’s your name?”


“D—Do Kyungsoo...”


“Kyungsoo. I’m Kim Jongin.”


“J,” Kyungsoo whispered. “J—Jongin.” He felt like he had heard the name somewhere, but he wasn’t sure. However, he dismissed the thought and Kyungsoo’s heart felt like it was about to leap out of its cage because finally, finally he knew the male’s name. “Jongin...”


Now he could die in peace.


Or not yet.


“You’re cold,” Jongin frowned as he touched Kyungsoo’s nose and Kyungsoo felt like fainting at the touch. Okay, now he could die in peace. “Have you been waiting for me...?”


“Y—yes,” Kyungsoo stuttered. “It was cold, but I... I just didn’t want to lose the chance to see you...”


Jongin’s eyes softened. He wrapped the scarf around his neck and took off the glove on his left hand. Jongin offered it to Kyungsoo with nod. “Wear it.”


“Eh? But...but it’s your glove?”


“It’s okay. Just wear it.” Jongin waited patiently as Kyungsoo (confusedly) slipped the glove on. He looked glad when his glove covered Kyungsoo’s hand, although it looked a bit big on him. “Now would you mind if I buy you a cup of coffee?”


Kyungsoo dumbly shook his head.


“Good,” Jongin smiled as he took Kyungsoo’s right hand in his left one. “Then we’re going on a date.”

























End.

























It turned out that Jongin was taking medical school in the university. Which meant that Kyungsoo wasn’t mistaken when he thought he saw Jongin in the hospital, because it was also the same place where he did his internship. And that Minseok wasn't mistaken too, because it was really a health magazine he purchased the other day.


Jongin was really sweet and caring. Kyungsoo didn’t need a long time to really fall for him. He had fallen before he got to know him, and now Kyungsoo was head over heels for everything Jongin did. He honestly didn’t expect things would turn out this way, but after two weeks of being friends and getting to know each other, Jongin kissed him.


Kyungsoo couldn’t do anything but to kiss him back. His heart was filled with a lot of emotions for Jongin that he was afraid his chest would burst.


He was in love.


December finally came and Jongin had asked Kyungsoo to meet his brother on Christmas.


Kyungsoo was really nervous and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t afraid, but the gentle squeeze on his hand from Jongin somehow managed to calm him down. Jongin said his brother had been wanting to meet Kyungsoo since he showed the older male the scarf he got.


Kyungsoo held on to Jongin’s arm so tightly since they were in the elevator.


“Relax,” Jongin said soothingly. “It’s not just going to be us. There will be others, too.”


Kyungsoo hummed as he buried his face into Jongin’s shoulder. “But what if they don’t like me...?”


“I have a feeling they will.”


Jongin almost had to drag Kyungsoo from the elevator. He sighed in resignation as he kissed Kyungsoo’s cheek just to give him strength. “Babe, if you really don’t like it in there, tug my arm and I will find a way to make up a reason so we could leave.”


“No,” Kyungsoo whispered childishly in Jongin’s arms. “It’s not that... I just, let me take a moment...”


Jongin hooked his fingers under Kyungsoo’s chin as he pulled the latter into a gentle kiss. “It will be all right.”


Kyungsoo whimpered in protest because Jongin’s kiss always seemed to work. His boyfriend brought his hand to knock on the door and they waited for a while. Kyungsoo took a deep breath as the door swung open, smiling widely at the future he was about to face.






























...only to gasp loudly when he saw the ten persons who had made his past few weeks miserable.






























“,” Baekhyun cursed loudly. “I knew it was Kyungsoo!!”