Luhan.

Sehun.

It was like choosing between the asleep and the awake, between life and death, between true love and feigned emotions – between reality and oblivion.

No matter how much of the truth lies at the wake of your fingertips, you choose the oblivion. The oblivion that is awake, Sehun.

——-

While you’re holding Sehun’s hand, while you look him in the eye as he says ‘I love you,’ there is that melancholic smile that spreads through your lips. There is Luhan, even when gone, still warms you through the smallest of ways. “I do,” Sehun brings your reverie back to his, and his forever. Your vision shadows with tears and you don’t know why – is it finally, true happiness?

“I do,” your voice comes off croaked and hoarse and constricted. As the rings fall on each of your ring fingers, it is the finality of the bounding of your love.

When Sehun kisses you, his lips are so soft and almost consoling but only in a skip of a heartbeat. When he retracts, the vivid memories of your and Luhan’s first kiss come in endless flashes. Until now, until the vows have been proclaimed, you are still left in obscurity. It is like two heartbeats in one, sharing and vying for the same emotions – but not quite, in reality. But vows are tied and so are your and Sehun’s hearts and maybe it’s time to just let go and move on.

——-

Sehun lays you down in bed of roses, your white wedding gown in its purest as he spares you a loving and unwavering gaze. You try to look at him with an undivided one, you really do, but when his lips graze over yours you cry inside. The seconds spent turn into both agonizing hours, yet a seemingly contenting one for your now husband. Everything is done with your every acquiescence and you thank God Sehun understands you.

When his lips brush rather passionately now from every exposed skin he can touch, you shiver. Maybe it’s still not right, maybe Luhan’s still calling, and even watching. Maybe Luhan’s not ready.

Maybe you’re not ready.

Sehun has long stopped as he wipes away your tears with every kiss and he slips you into his embrace, cooing on your ears to not worry and, “I won’t if you’re not ready.” And even in those words of comfort you still find yourself tearing up. You look at him with tired eyes and see the man that has always waited for you, the man that has done everything for you – even saving Luhan at h