Chinese Superstar Hangeng

I totally adored you the moment you debuted.

I love listening to your voice when you sing your songs, which became my favorite songs.

It’s stupid because I barely understand Chinese. I can count in Chinese but only up to 10. I can say the usual greetings and even the phrase I love you but that’s all I have in my Chinese vocabulary.

I love how you always seem to have a smile on your face and how you can easily make people laugh.

Although I only get to understand what you’re saying to make people laugh through subtitles.

It was suppose to be a simple admiration.

But then, I get jealous when you are paired with another singer or actor.

Fanservice is okay but I don’t like you overdoing it especially if it’s always with the same person.

I think that’s why I became an anti-fan of Henry.

So maybe I’m developing a crush on you… a very deep crush.

I love collecting anything that has to do with you. Pictures, postcards, calendar, magazines, cds, t-shirts, keychains, accessories and everything else as long as it has your name, face or I’ve seen you wear it. I even got a cellphone the same as yours.

I often go to China for a vacation hoping to see you. I would attend to your concert or whatever variety show you’re starring in and sometimes I would stand outside of your apartment with the rest of your fans just so I could see you walk in and out.

I attended to your fansigning event. I got your signature on the album and poster. I got to shake your hands. It made me so happy.

But at the end of the day, I’ve realized that you probably won’t even remember me. I’ll just be one of your million fans out there. You’ll never know or love me because I’m not special. Maybe you’ll remember some faces of cute fangirls but not me because I’m just a fanboy and artists like you prefer cute fangirls or y idols rather than a fanboy like me.

I’ll stop daydreaming or night dreaming of you. I’ll stop collecting every single thing that is related to you. I’ll stop this fantasy and turn to reality. I should go and get myself a boyfriend. Someone that is not a Chinese Superstar. Someone who lives here in Korea so we can often see each other. Because I know that I’ll never have you in reality.

I’ll still be your fan but I’ll try not to be too much obsessed with you because I don’t want to be a scary fanboy who’ll do anything for you.

Ah, why am I even writing this? It’s not like Chinese Superstar Hangeng is going to read it. Or if you do, it’s not like I’m going to get a reply, right? Because I’m just a fanboy which probably also means I’m gay and that’s just gross, right?

Truly your fanboy,

Lee Sungmin

A/N:  This is supposed to be a oneshot but because I'm evil, I decided to split it into two parts (the letter and the actually story). Hehehehe... comments please!