Someone as perfect as Hongbin shouldn't hurt himself, Ravi thinks.

Hongbin may be the closest thing Ravi has ever seen to perfection. Ravi is still in awe of Hongbin's adorable dimples that appear when he smiles, of his straight As on the report card and the number of trophies he's won the school for sprinting; and of course of the way Hongbin treats everyone and everything without a trace of malice. 

Hongbin's a diamond and Ravi's an unpolished pebble left in the dust, and that's the reason why Ravi has never talked to Hongbin in real life before, but that's okay. Ravi still likes Hongbin anyway. Very very much.  Everyone likes Hongbin, because no-one can dislike perfection. (And Hongbin is so likeable anyway, because he's perfect, you see?) 

Hongbin is perfect, and someone as perfect as Hongbin shouldn't hurt himself, Ravi thinks. Ravi watches as Hongbin slips into a toilet cubicle on the fourth floor which hardly anyone uses. He hears a zip being roughly pulled down; the sharp sound of a knife slicing through the air- and most of all he hears the hiss of pain when knife slices into skin. It echoes through the air and rings in Ravi's ears for a long time, haunting him even when he leaves silently, leaving Hongbin alone with his scars. 

How. Why. When? Isn't Hongbin perfect? Questions that Ravi doesn't have the answers to fill his mind. Ravi looks more carefully at Hongbin now. Hongbin seems haggard. Hongbin seems tired. Hongbin's smile seems just a little strained. Hongbin seems lonely. Hongbin's perfect facade is breaking apart in front of Ravi's eyes. 

Ravi looks at Hongbin differently now. He no longer sees perfection but a beautiful facade shattering; no longer a proud warrior but a scared boy not much different from Ravi. Behind all the glamour, Ravi sees Hongbin.

Ravi visits the toilet many times after that, with Hongbin. He likes to think that he's Hongbin's very own special friend. Ravi realises that Hongbin, is really lonely. Perfection is hard to maintain after all, and all that glitter and glamour had to cost Hongbin something. Perhaps Hongbin's just too perfect, and his friends leave him one way or another, a rather ugly procession that Ravi shudders to think about, because those are probably not friends but ladder-climbers, and the difference must have hurt. Hongbin has seen too many betrayals, too many goodbyes; how did Hongbin survive? Ravi gets his answer when the blade slices through the air again;  and Ravi hears the heartbroken, gentle sobs that tear at Ravi's heartstrings- Hongbin didn't survive. 

Before, Ravi thinks that Hongbin had the world at his fingertips. Now, all Ravi wants is to gather Hongbin in his arms and tell him it's okay. Whatever hurt, tears and sorrys' Hongbin was carrying, it's all okay. Ravi just wants to spread a little more warmth, care to Hongbin. Maybe Hongbin's burden will lessen then. 

And so Ravi bursts into Hongbin's cubicle one day, using the oldest trick in the book to unlock the worn out door. Hongbin's tears seem to be worse today, and Ravi's heart breaks as he sees Hongbin cowered in a corner, blood trickling slowly down from one seemingly accidental cut, hugging himself in an attempt to provide himself a little more warmth. His teary eyes slowly meet Ravi's and his face contorts in shock and shame- but Ravi doesn't let him speak as he gently crouches next to the broken body and wraps his arms around Hongbin, rocking gently. He smooths Hongbin's hair like how a mother would sooth a child; gathering Hongbin up in his arms just like he had wished to do. Hongbin fidgets and fights but Ravi holds him down, repeating gently that it's alright.

"It's alright, it's alright, it's alright..." Ravi cooes; rocking Hongbin back and forth gently even though Hongbin was a little larger sized than him, as he Hongbin's hair, calming Hongbin until racking sobs slowly disappear and Hongbin looks like the perfect him that he is. Ravi later tells Hongbin in gentle hushed tones that everything will be alright in the end because rain doesn't go on forever. He tells Hongbin about how he admires Hongbin; and how Hongbin has become a support for him who isn't doing so well in his studies although he's been trying, telling him never to give up. 

And he ends off with how he would gladly be the support for Hongbin this time around because he believes everything will be easier with someone around- and how Hongbin shouldn't have to worry about him leaving or betraying him because Ravi is never leaving; he lives around the corner and it's near impossible for him to disappear. He throws in his address for Hongbin's benefit and holds out his pinky to Hongbin. 

And most of all; he tells Hongbin that he will always be there, whether Hongbin wants him to be there or not. "I will be there when you want me, and I'll be there when you need me. Most of all; I'll still be here even when you push me away." Ravi will forever remember how Hongbin had clung to him like a support anchoring him to shore; and the very slight smile of comfort on Hongbin's face. Ravi traces every little bit of Hongbin's scars gently; and he wonders if Hongbin can trust him enough to open his heart one more time. He hopes that Hongbin sees his sincerity more than just banking on the fact that Hongbin had nothing else left to lose except another piece of his heart and himself. 

Ravi thus learns that Hongbin had no friends, no companionship but Perfection to keep him company. But Perfection is a heavy burden; an expensive companion that brings along expectation and pressure. Because Hongbin wants to be liked, and perfection is the price to pay. Only that there isn't a way to please everyone and by the time Hongbin wants to quit; he's already in too deep- he had already become someone he couldn't handle.  

Because perfection means no mistakes; but everyone makes mistakes and no matter how close Hongbin is to perfection, he is still human. And Hongbin feels every single look of disappointment so deeply- like they wouldn't like him anymore if he stopped being perfect- because Perfection had become something that anchored Hongbin to the world; and without perfection Hongbin would be nothing at all. 

So Ravi never lets Hongbin forget that he is, indeed someone without perfection. He tells Hongbin that his dimples are lopsided but that's okay because it's cute; he tells Hongbin how his handwriting slants a little to the side but that's okay because perfect handwriting causes the teacher a even worse headache; and most of all Ravi wraps his arms around Hongbin every day and tells him that Hongbin is still there even with all these so called imperfections.

Ravi thinks that Hongbin may be the closest thing he has seen to perfection. He still does, because Hongbin's very imperfections make Hongbin perfect. 

Imperfections only serve to make someone more beautiful. 

{Once you've taken away all your imperfections, then there's not much really left of who you truly are.}