Rather than being cheered by the fact that something could still bring her to the beautifully bitter past, she was pissed off.  Because with or without anyone's presence, the past still lingers over her mind like that of a spider web around a helpless fly.

❄

The week is the last of winter, he heard. The snow is no longer pouring, and was beginning to melt, revealing the green grass of his lawn once again. Warmth began to seep through what seemed like endless rolls of cloud, sun rays would sometimes strike through the window. It's spring already and Sehun wouldn't believe it. He felt like it was just yesterday since he cursed the first snow that fell right atop of his wide nose bridge.

Undeterred by whatever the forecast woman was spouting about, to him, it was just a quiet morning. And instead of coming out of his bedroom to have some breakfast like usual, Sehun laid awake not making any moves. He wasn't ready to face his mother after their argument last night. Still clad on his wifebeater and sweatpants he normally uses to sleep, he laid on his back. Eyes wide awake as he threw his precious basketball up in the air, and letting it fall against his broad chest. He was torn between pleasing his mother, like he always do; or living on what he wants to do without caring of any aforementioned consequences neatly recited by his mother.

Maybe he had enough, he thinks. Perhaps he really had been a good son for 18 years and counting, his only error was befriending Kim Jongin and got dragged to his rascally antics from time to time. But despite that, Sehun is an obedient kid, and as a student, he's always ranked in top 30 out of the whole school. And the their year consists of approximate 150-175 students, now that's pretty good, isn't it? Then he became the basketball captain, and his mother has been the proudest for that achievement.

And everything changed after one lousy trip to the hospital.

Sehun threw the ball hardly towards the wall, totally intending for everyone in the whole house to hear the echo. But that might just be all Sehun can do to voice out his disappointment, because every time he tries to defy his mother, there comes the image of her baking his favorite cake during one Sunday morning in his sophomore year. It was random, but she said she was just reminded of him when she was at the grocery. And it melted every willpower Sehun thought he had when he decided to rebel.

But he had to play.

And this time, he didn't care who he had to walk over to do that, even it it's his own mom. He promised Jongin to do this together, he promised his team that he would bring them to victory when he was chosen as team captain a year ago. And there's no way in ing hell that he would let 4 years of effort go to waste just like it definitely will if he adheres to his mother's inessential hassle. He had always been the perfect son all his life, and screw it if being the perfect son means sacrificing the team's dream, Kim Jongin's dream and most importantly, his own dream.

He made himself the perfect team just for this day. The regional match, what could be a more important match than this for a high-schoolers like them? Suho, the eldest with his hawk-like eyes to spot a threat. After him, he has Baekhyun with his unpredictable movements. If Baekhyun fails, Chanyeol and his long legs will always be there to save the day. And then they have Kyungsoo. He was short, sure, but that doesn't make him any less threatening to any opponent they've come across. His gestures, grip, and passes are strong, firm and concentrated, not to mention his great cooperating technique, which makes him the ruler of the middle field. Jongin, where to begin? He is Sehun's prided shot-blocker, a player you don't get from just anywhere. But that does not necessarily means he as a handler or a passer. While Sehun himself, he could brag and say he's a nice all rounder. And not only that, he's the main shooter of the team, making his moves quicker and more accurate than everyone's combined.

So he's sure that his absence will be missed if ever he bails on them.

But there must be a way to confront mom about it, or persuade her into letting me do it. It's my last competition, and after that-- no. Sehun shook his head in frustration, no. She's very keen on her decision and he knows better than to try and waver her out of it. There's so many things at risk if he bails on the match, the scholarship, the school reputation, his friendship, his coach, everything.

He had to play, at least he knows that.

And Jung Soojung. If he ends up not playing, he wouldn't know whether Jung Soojung decides to come or not. And he might not have the chance to meet that girl ever again. For some reason, knowing that he may not see the girl who's practically stranger to him ever again, scares Sehun a little bit as he stared out the window.

What the hell is he doing here?

Sehun thought as he saw Kim Jongin leisurely walking through the little gate leading towards his front door. He rushed to draw the blinds, then slowly getting his PlayStation out. Setting the cables everywhere around, all the while opening the door slightly just so he could hear what his mother would say when she sees Jongin.

"Jongin-ah, it's been weeks. Where have you been?" Sehun heard his mother's voice greeting his best friend. He could just picture what was happening downstairs, his father sipping his coffee, mother greeting Jongin with her apron and spatula still intact, and Jongin not knowing what to say or do being greeted so formally like that.

"I've been around," Jongin answered curtly, and from his room, Sehun could also hear the added, "oh cake!" and the next thing is probably just him munching on his mother's newly baked cake. Sehun rolled his eyes, and turned Tekken on. He remembered their childhood when all they play is Tekken 2, it's just so funny that in their adolescence they're still playing the same game. Only that it's Tekken 6, with a better 3D picture quality an a much hotter version of Nina Williams.

"Son, I saw you the other day with that Park Chanyeol in the end of the road. What is up with that, Kim Jongin?"

An image of Jongin stopping on his track entered Sehun's mind.

"Ya, Kim Jongin, you were smoking pot, weren't you?"

Another image, showing Jongin's skin, now lightly coated with perspiration. Mainly between his lips and his crooked nose, then his temple as he stuttered for what word to use as not to arise suspicion.

"Does your mom know about this, son?"

Image of Jongin widening his eyes, and about to shout in 3... 2...

"No, Mrs. Oh! Please I beg you. Please don't tell her!" Jongin was finally begging, and Sehun died inside in total amusement. "It was Chanyeol, I swear it was him. I just followed along!" Jongin pathetically continued, making both Mr. and Mrs. Oh laugh really loudly. Feeling like they're being brought back to the youth moments of their life, remembering just how bad they wouldn't want their parents to know about what reckless things they've done.

"I wouldn't say I believe you, Kim Jongin. But I'll let it slide for now. Sehun's upstairs, by the way."

"How do you know I'm here to see him? For all you know, I could be here just to charm you and eat the heavenly tasted cookie you were baking." Sehun could hear Jongin say and guffawed.

"Oh, you're such charmer, you. Anyways, take these with you." The cake! It must have been the cake, Sehun thought. Jongin's steps on each flight of stairs could be heard from inside his room even with the stereo filling the otherwise unbearable silence.

"Jongin-ah, if you guys are hungry, just help yourself. I'll be in my bedroom if you need anything." Sehun's mother called out, and a slam of the door could be heard as soon as Jongin yelled a 'sure' just outside Sehun's door. And the next thing he knows, a six foot tall boy with a pair of thick lips, pitch black hair and crooked nose came into his view. His face wasn't gleaming with cheeriness as Sehun earlier had imagined.

"Risa broke up with me, said I'm spending too much time on basketball. And that she can't feel me caring about her anymore, how she needs a real man, blah blah, what a ." Jongin stomped his foot down the ground, and Sehun swore if he handed the controller to Jongin before he told them that, Jongin would have crushed the younger's beloved controller with his own hands. "Oh and what's up with you and your mother? Are you guys on a fight or something?" Jongin asked in return, putting the jar of cookie between them.

"This is so good, by the way." Jongin managed to talk between each gross munches of the cookie.

"We kinda argued last night, how do you know anyway?"

Jongin shrugged, "You always take your breakfast, especially when cookies are involved. So it must be huge, huh? Because this baby is better than anything I've ever tasted in my life." Jongin began to take two pieces each bite, making his cheeks jut out to accommodate his mouth's content.

"She told me not to participate in the match next week." Sehun finally dropped the bomb, expecting his friend to blow up as well. Shouting profanity to the breaking news as he did. But the expected outcome never came.

"Hmm, that bad, huh?"

That's it.

That was Kim Jongin's reaction. The only guy besides himself who probably wanted to win this competition more than anything he ever wanted to do. The guy whose afternoon activities consists of lunch and exercising down the basketball field, practicing his throws and passes, sometimes with the whole gang, another with Sehun, but more often only with his shadow for a company. The only guy Sehun knew that would be crazy enough to spend six hundred bucks from a shady internet seller for a Michael Jordan autographed ball, just to end up as a room decor. Kim Jongin, who loves basketball than anything in his life. He's not supposed to be calm about this.

"That's it? That's your reaction?" Sehun finally voiced out after a good five-seconds interval.

"What? I don't know what to say. Because as far as I know, your mother has been the most supportive about what you want to do, so for her to halt you from the thing you want to do most, she must have a pretty damn good reason for it." He eats another cake, and when Sehun looked down at the jar, he apparently has emptied half of it.

"I can't be a jerk and step into a family matter like this, Sehun-ah. Even though I am a jerk most of the time, but that only applies to enemies, ugly girls and girls who pretended to be hard-to-get. Not my best friend, well, except Chanyeol. Because that annoying needs to be handled with extreme measures. Or maybe that Byun Baekhyun too. He just won't shut up, don't you get tired of his incessant rambling every single freaking time!?" Jongin rambled on and on, while Sehun just stopped listening after 'family matter'.

"...unless you want me to be a jerk to you." Jongin's voice trailed.

And it was as if a lightbulb blinded itself inside Sehun's head. Blurring the lines between what's proper and what is not, the lines of genius and just complete frenzy. But Sehun didn't even think when he asks, "Be a jerk to me, then."

Jongin seemed as if he was about to say more, objecting. That Sehun will make a big mistake. And for once, Jongin has a really bad gut feeling about this. But he supposed, he could not be more out-of-character than how he didn't blow up in Sehun's face earlier, so he just took a deep breath instead before uttering, "You can always escape."

Sehun blinked.

"There's a window next to your bed, and it isn't too high up from the ground, too. So, in case your mom locks you up on the D-Day, you can just jump and I'll wait for you down there with your bag and towel." Jongin lightly said as he ate the last piece of the cake, leaving Sehun only the crumples.

That thin line between genius and complete frenzy, he was told that each person views them differently. And Jongin's idea would be considered crazy if heard by Mrs. Oh, but Sehun thinks,

"Genius."

***

Twelve is Jung Soojung's unlucky number.

At least she thinks so. For twelve months, she had to witness her father abusing her mother in front of her own eyes. Her mother died out of overdosing Tylenol twelve days after her eleventh birthday, twenty-four days (which is twelve times two, yes it's a legit reason) of being afraid for her father fluctuating mood, ranging from crazy gambling, crazy hitter to excessive drinking when she's home. Lasting until the day when he runs away from home, completely disappearing from her life just like that. Like he isn't supposed to pay for her school, or daily meals, or to pay for electricity bills, anything.

He just left.

But the weirdest part is that Soojung is happy that he left her. That way, she wouldn't get stuck on working half- paying jobs just to fend for his stupid whinings. She didn't care if she never finishes high school, as if that applies in real life anyway, she has money for herself and will use it to her heart's content. And hey, they still pay her huge money for performing at the Winter Annual Charity Concert, which could last her three months of living decently.

Give her love and prince charming, and she'll be living on her own second-class TV soap opera.

But sadly, she will be having none of those. Love is the least of her concern, after all, who would want to be with her knowing her past and how cynical her views are towards the world? And to top that, just an elementary graduate? Sure, she reads a lot and she has the sharp tongue that could hide her cluelessness about things people her age should have known. But it doesn't mean it won't be a problem once that so-called love comes by, and that is a reason why she's disgusted by the idea of love, and plans to retract herself from it at all costs.

To avoid drama.

She usually watches the TV to get through her days, laying on the yellow couch she hadn't been washing for six years (maybe more). But that day, she took a nap instead. And realized that she had made a very wrong decision when she made out that some stupid wanderer by some reason raided her house and left her only a dead man and a treasure box, consisting of a very beating heart inside. Blood oozing out everywhere, and a message that says:

"Love me."

She knew it was a dream, and in that dream, a young man was laid lifeless in her living room. With a face she could not recognize, the man was holding out that treasure box and there was a hole on where his heart was supposed to be. Soojung's black hair touched the bloody part of the dead man's body, her hands was tainted red as she held his body close to hers. But her soul ached, she did not know who he was and who he is supposed to be to her in that dream, but it hurts.

Knowing that his life had gone away while holding his dead body in her arms, hurts really bad that Soojung hoped she could just wake up because she couldn't bear the pain anymore. It was the feeling where all the insides of your gut felt like it's being spun all around in every kinds of direction, pulling up and down like it's shoved to get out through your mouth, making you want to puke your dinners out. Although wanting to wake up, Soojung felt like she didn't want to say goodbye to this man yet.

She felt like, he was her everything. And she will lose him forever if she wakes up, it was as if she loves him. Which was bull, because she doesn't do love. And she definitely doesn't know the meaning of the word enough to carelessly spout it out of her filthy mouth. Soojung doesn't know what it means to live for someone, but it felt like she wants to live for him, stitch the image of him forever in her heart, if she has any, that is.

But she woke up.

To the same living room. To the same anchorwoman on TV, and the blanket around her small figure and thin sheen of sweat across her neck and forehead. Slowly rising up to a sitting position, Soojung held her face tightly in her hands. Trying to remember a part of this marvelous dream she knew she had, but couldn't even find any other fragments of it except that message on the heart box.

"Love me." it said.

Just, who would be stupid enough to want someone like me to love them? Who, would be stupid enough to stay by my side and love someone like me? It doesn't make any sense, but isn't all dream? She tried to convince herself, but even that doesn't make her feel any better in any way.