"I should have expected that you'd be here." It was the husky voice she hadn't heard in the past five years. The male walked closer to her with a small smile playing on his plump lips, in his hand was a bouquet of callalily, along with a few soft baby breaths.

❄

Seven-year-old Oh Sehun was standing in front of the theater he didn't know would become his favorite place so soon. His eyes were twinkling in excitement when he saw a bunch of kids not a few years older than him, with violins and music sheets in their hands, slowly entering through the very same black gate he was also in front of.

Sehun's little feet carefully stepped into the dark hallway with his left hand linked to his father's, his tiny lips slightly opened in amazement when they entered the main auditorium with bright, blinding lights that shone straight to the stage. He could sense how majestic the stage would be, even when it was still covered by huge red curtain. They picked two seats in the first line, the one right in front of the stage. Because Sehun insisted that he might not be able to see them even from the second line.

The red curtain quickly spread into two parts, showing him the older kids he saw before, now in formal clothings, all suit and tie. All the while he was just wearing a shirt with cute little vest, along with knee-length pants for the bottom. The young ladies were wearing cute mini black dresses that accentuates their contrasting difference between the waist and hips, they look prettier than most girls in his school, but of course, what does he know about girls ? He's an elementary student. Oh Sehun ignored how they look soon as the sound of violins flew through his ears.

"Dad, will I be able to play instruments too?"

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Sehun fluttered his eyes open, those nightmares kept on haunting him in his sleep. Practically depriving him of it. Every night, it has always been the same dream over and over again, the scene showed him on a third point of view, of him running, crying out of desperation, of him hiding behind a tall object with the sound of footsteps trailing close by. By the sound of it, he could make out that anything that was chasing him is big, and it could possibly kill him. But he always woke up drenched in his own cold sweat before knowing what the big thing is.

Shaking his head, he tried to forget his dream along with a piece of information he wasn't supposed to know. Yet, anyway.

There are just one too many things keeping his head spinning these days, from basic things he should have solved by now, up to things so useless he should never even think about. He was born a thinker, although ironically, thinking somehow became an innate reflex he grew to loathe the most.

The snow outside almost buried his whole garden, he was bored to the deepest core of his heart. There was nothing he could have done at home. Basketball is out of option, since the ball would have dipped onto the thick snow instead of bouncing back up. Checking out hot girls ? Out of option, those hot girls would be curled under their own blankets with a cup of hot tea resting beside their beds in a day with a temperature like this one, his window was in such poor state where it's almost frozen completely. And even Jongin couldn't bear the weather so much that he bailed on hanging out with him just the day before. Curse winter, he inwardly grumbled.

But even so, a thick, raining snow would never hinder him from one thing.

The blonde guy grinned, gazing hopelessly towards his best attire hung over the door. Not quite an expensive one, his attire is more like a simple, easy-to-wear one, and even though the fabric isn't as good as what you would find in Ralph Lauren or Armani, it would still be his favorite one. Sure, he has a couple or two expensive attires suited for formal events, but he hates to pay extra care just for the sake of pieces of clothing. But this ? Nah, he could roll around over a pool of mud in it and nobody in the world would give a single .

Well, except his mom, though.

Two hours felt like centuries for Oh Sehun, and what he had been waiting for will only start in another three hours. Three long hour, huh. Maybe if he goes now, he could catch all the rehearsals. So, he got up from the mattress, deciding to get a quick shower before he actually went out. Winter afternoon cold showers are one of the things he liked the least in his 20 years of living. But hey, he needed to be more than comfortable to sit for five hours straight.

Sehun looked at his own face reflected in the mirror, the dark indigo attire went really well with his skin and the shade of his ash blonde hair. Instantly feeling so gay just by thinking about things like that. Nevertheless, he smiled in satisfaction as he saw himself looking far better than how he usually looks. He styled his hair rather messily and quickly grabbed his wallet from the night stand, opened it and checked if he still had the ticket.... And he did. If this isn't the most beautiful thing ever, then what is ? A paper shaped in long rectangular form greeted his line of sight with the color maroon for the most part, saying "16th Annual Winter Youth Classical Charity Concert", embossed in a sophisticated color of gold.

The annual event has been going on since Sehun was three, and this year was its sixteenth show ever. Sehun himself has been going to this charity conert since he was 7 when his father brought him along. And on his way home, it struck him like an epiphany that he was already heads over heels with all those classic piano performances. Asking his father over and over again about when those events are gonna be held next.

Sehun liked, no, scratch that, loved piano with all the capability of his poor heart. The echoes of every keys, the combination of each ones pressed together, how it would sound if pressed abruptly, or how if pressed softly. Piano is a frail instrument, it's fragile and would never sound good when someone playing it, isn't playing by heart. Sehun had always been desperately trying to learn the piano, but it seemed to him (and to everyone) that it really wasn't quite like a talent when what's supposed to sound beautiful, sounds like every victims burning in hell wanted to struggle out when he plays it. He has always been sure that those ten fingers attached to his palms are cursed to never play piano, not even once, in his life.

Sehun grabbed some nickels he put atop of his wardrobe, his little savings he hid from his bestfriend, Kim Jongin whose hobby is to 'borrow' any money he could discover from any corner in Sehun's room. Talking about that jerk, he should have accompanied him to this annual event, but the jerk was all like, "shut up, I'm hibernating", forcing him to go alone like the loner he is.

He didn't know since when did he start going into the venue two hours earlier so that he could see the team rehearse for the big event, but he sure liked that habit. All the boys, all the girls, they were still wearing jeans and tees, but what he loved the most was the way their faces show how passionate they all were about playing every different harmonies. Rehearsals are different than the real thing, maybe it's just him, but he preferred the 'damn I haven't practiced enough' expressions more than the old, typical, 'yeah I nailed this already' face in the real-time performances.

As it appeared, he wasn't the only person who loved watching rehearsals. There were people who looked like observers from some musical organizations, or for his own dismay, a few girl students who kept screaming and cooing when a young, handsome pianist came out to play a solo piano version of Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue for like fifteen minutes. It was pretty fantastic, in Sehun's opinion. They screamed even louder when the said boy flashed a smile towards their direction, although Sehun was sure that smile meant 'shut the up, you guys are disturbing the other audience'.

He watched nine people rehearsing until it was almost seven, and the red curtain had been closed in order to prepare for the actual event. Indistinct mumbles filled the gigantic theater, while everyone that had just came looked so excited. There were friends, couples, families, first timers, or regulars, and more of that Rhapsody in Blue pianist's fans squealing and thrashing around their seats. That boy was probably just a few years older than Sehun himself, and no, he wasn't jealous of his killer smile or perfect mannerisms. But he did want to sit in front of that white grand piano, in front of hundreds of people, playing a piece of music that is not a single-handed twinkle twinkle little star.

A woman sat next to him, and she seemed older than him by five years, or maybe more. A cute glasses was resting over her nose, she smiled to Sehun. "How long have you been here ? The start is still fifteen minutes from now," she said.

"Long enough that I saw the rehearsal." He grinned back to the woman, and she had agape. And then she asked whether he loved this kinds of events and could he play a piano, in which he answered yes and no to both her questions.

"Kinda like an unrequited love, isn't it ?" He joked and threw both of themselves into a fit of laughter, she then proceeded to tell him how she had just learned playing a piano a few years ago before she suddenly just stopped talking, "Oh, it's starting." She sounded even more excited than he was, if it's even possible.

A low F suddenly echoed throughout the room, gradually unveiling into a sweet 3/4 tempo, it was one of Liszt's work, he knew. But he totally forgot the title. Oh and how it was so beautiful, everything felt so perfect. The serious ambiance, the flowy sets of melody driving in and out of his ears replacing each other in perfect timing every time the pianist pressed different chord with her left hand, how it made the whole room felt so peaceful and just... happy.

And what used to be one cold winter weather, somehow didn't seem as cold anymore. Or maybe that was just him and his delusions. Classical pieces or wordless musics in general, bring that kind of sonorous sensation, that nowadays musics aren't able of bringing back. They soothe until the deepest core of anyone's souls, singing that it will all be alright. Wordlessly telling, at least that time, you have no problem in the whole wide world. That the universe would not harm you in the eight minutes when a borderless music is playing directly to your ears.

Feelings like those are precisely what Sehun needs right at the time.

And applause.

"Next is that handsome Chinese prodigy, Lu Han. He had tours all around Europe when he was still 20, and did a rendition of Nocturne with Vanessa Mae back in 2010. It was amazing, and," she fanned herself with her hands when the said Lu Han walked down the stage and bowed to the audience before he settled himself in front of the piano, "wow," the woman beside him sighed in full-throttled amazement.

"You're one of his fan too, I presume ?" Sehun asked.

"Shut up, he's playing !" She yelled, and that shuts Sehun up. He took it as a loud and clear 'hell yeah'.

He had to admit, after years and years of going into this musical concert all alone, the presence of this loud, talkative stranger changed things quite a bit. He didn't know a thing about this Lu Han guy, and he wouldn't know (or wouldn't care about) it if it's not for this woman. But the woman, nor the Rhapsody in Blue guy isn't what he was waiting for all year. It was a girl, probably around his age, one of the pianists.

A weird thing about her is that she never showed up in any of the rehearsal, yet for some reason, she's always put for the closing act. And as someone who watches piano performances long enough to know which are good and which are not, it's safe to say that she deserves the position as the closing player. Long red hair; tall and petite bodily measurement; confident, nearly arrogant stature.

The Chinese prodigy was doing that same piece Sehun heard when he just came in during the rehearsal session. It was very noble and polite of him that despite all his past achievements, he still had the decency to rehearse along with his fellow performers even though he probably memorized the keys by both brain and heart.

He must have been a boring guy in high school, or the guy whose homeworks get copied by the whole class, or worst case, victim of bullying, he silently thought. Because that's what society do to nice, beneficial people, they drain them out of their use. Sehun scoffed, poor guy.

Sehun applaud along mindlessly as everyone else around him did, and he honestly thought that the rehearsal sounded better than this one. It was the pressure, it must have been the pressure. The amount of people staring down at him, the loud murmurs of expectation, the audible thoughts of those people whom he could never let down. Poor guy, indeed.

"Isn't he, like, the dreamiest guy in the world ?" The woman said what sounded to be a question, but he was sure that she wouldn't need any answers from someone like him. Someone as pessimistic as himself, someone as skeptical as he is.

His line of hearing was filled by piano pieces from a few couple of young musicians and the voice of that woman, explaining trivias about each and every performers walking onto the stage. Until the master of ceremony announced the last performer of the day, and the girl that never came to rehearse got into his and everyone's sight.

She was simply celestial, her black hair had grown longer than last year, shiny as ever. Her sight, dull yet aware at the same time. She was cracking her knuckles as she bowed down to the audience, and he noticed that the woman beside him had not said anything about this girl.

He turned to her, "Say, what do you know about this girl ?" Sehun questioned.

She hummed for a while before unfolding the event brochure she had kept in her lap during the whole sitting, "Her name is Jung Soojung, and that's all I know. It was rumored that she used to be a great pianist in her childhood, but she damaged her fingers that she couldn't play as flawless as she used to anymore." She started to explain, "I don't know much about her, it's still a mystery to me why she had always been chosen as the closing performance." She stared right ahead once more when she decided she's done talking.

The Soojung girl's chest raised up, huffing a deep breath before her fingers crushed down the low H for the dramatic interlude rhythm before she softened down. Not until she pressed the soft E that he realized what piece she was playing.

Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake.

All of Sehun's life, he only knew two ways of playing this piece, either make it intimidating with the 3/4 or melancholic with 4/4. But no, this girl constantly changes the rhythm from half-beat to one in every ten seconds, Sehun's mouth was left open. Youtube, grand operas, orchestra shows, ballet stages, nothing had ever played Swan Lake like this ever before.

He knew the reason, because it would have been messy. Because it would be too risky, because the soul of the song is not about inconsistency. In fact, it's about faithfulness. Faith or principle should not constantly change (at least that's what norm and years of socializing teach him), especially in such a rapid manner like this one, it just... doesn't fit.

He tried very hard to try and point out her flaw. But nada, nothing. She was playing it beautifully, not a single key is out from its course, no chord is off tune. It was surprisingly neat. Very unlike what people had expected. He guessed it was just too unfamiliar from the public's ears that people have a hard time absorbing that it indeed was Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, and not a genius piece written by a teenage pianist.

Soojung's performance was certainly not a bad one, either. So basically, there was nothing about the stage that left room for critique.

Yet everyone knew, if there would be any critique, it would be about her, the player. Something is definitely wrong with a pianist when she could turn a bittersweet, simple, modest piece of Swan Lake into a more sadistic, abstract and pompous version of it.

Her black dress rode up her thigh a little bit when she began to cross her leg in the middle of her performance, he couldn't comprehend just how a girl with such low mannerism, no grace and eyes that do not emit love for her instrument could play that good. It was so unfair, he could love piano thousands of times better than she could, but universe decides that she would play and not him ?

Jung Soojung.

She chirped the last note with her ring finger before beautifully throwing her right hand up to form her signature ending pose. She kept on sitting on her chair while everybody in the audiences' seat stood up and gave their loudest ovation he had ever heard, ever. Sehun was one of those people as well, who stood up and gave his biggest applause. Soojung never took a glance at the crowd who were cheering for her, she was only there to glance ahead, a little upwards to see the wall clock.

When the clock hand reached the number 12, she abruptly stood and left the scene calmly. And that was also when the crowd stopped cheering for her, Sehun was sure that if she hadn't stood up, people wouldn't stop cheering for her and wouldn't get the idea that they have been cheering way too long for anyone's liking. Hell, even that Chinese prodigy wasn't applauded this long and this loud.

Some kind of music came out of the speakers and one by one, the performers got up to the stage, greeting the audiences. Waving and flashing bright, 50 mega-watt smile of gratitude of their presence. But again, Jung Soojung wasn't there with the rest of them. They were on the stage for good ten minutes before saying their goodbyes, and went backstage yet again, signaling the end of the show. People gradually got out of the auditorium with contented heart, and while the venue emptied itself, Sehun kept his body sat on that same seat he had been on since three hours ago.

His eyes darting straight towards the stage, or more precisely, the center of the stage where there rested the white grand piano in all its glory. Piano never looked so enticing to him.

With a loud beating heart, he moved himself closer to the stage. The light was still on, the chair hasn't been moved, it was perfect. He slowly climbed onto the stage, and unknowingly, he tiptoed towards the piano. And sat on the chair where those great pianists had sat just minutes ago.

What felt like the insides of his body kept churning and it was a good kind of painful, if he knew better, he would call it butterflies. His heart urged him to just press a key.

Maybe it's okay if I just press this.

A loud C reverberated throughout the room, echoing very clearly that he flabbergasted around his seat, waiting for the sound to fade out naturally. Hoping that the staffs or the performers are home by now, and would not see him fooling around with their property. He wasn't a child anymore, it's not cute for him to get on stage just to play around when he knew that it's against most audiences' logic to do something he just did.

But he wanted to feel it once. Just once, to feel the lights radiating down on him, with the luxurious piano as a slave over his dominance, and shine under those powerful lights. Those lights that determine people's roles when they're in a hall just like this one; a starring role, or a bystander.

He pressed another key.

His heart was jumping out of joy, it wasn't the piano. It's the fantasy he got on his mind, where the audiences are still there, and instead of pressing a mere button, he was playing the same piece that Jung Soojung played before. And getting the same response as she did. He began to smile, grinning wider than Joker as he pressed another key, this time the black one. Oh, he loved the echo of tunes his fingers were making, he felt strong.

Steady on his own two feet.

"They're gonna lock this place up in ten minutes, I suggest you to go home before you can no longer to." It was a feminine voice that made him shot his head backwards. Jung Soojung was the owner of that voice, she was leaning down the wall and stared at him weirdly.

Party-pooper, he silently thought.

"Right, I should." He said and got up, gathered his wallet he put on the white wooden railings of the piano, "Oh and by the way, great performance, I really appreciate it. I've been watching you for years, and I think that one was your best so far." Sehun smiled to the shorter girl, but she just smirked.

"You can't play, can you ?" She guessed.

This guess made Sehun laugh because of on-point the guess was, not because he enjoyed being mocked, "You're right, how do you know ?" He questioned back to the girl.

She then made her way to the piano, he couldn't grasp what about it, but she always have that look on her face whenever she seemed to imagine herself playing the piano, "If you can play at least a little bit, you would have played any piece you could do during the time you were fooling around there." Soojung continued and sat on that chair she sat on half an hour ago.

Fear, it looked like fear.

"It's a shame, you seem to love this thing a lot, huh ? I saw you when I was performing, you looked like an idiot." She said, Sehun couldn't feel anything but offended. Usually, he wouldn't be, because anyone who would call him like that is Jongin, or his basketball teammate. But hearing a stranger saying it brought a whole new sensation about the word.

Soojung pressed a high D, and he cursed in his mind, he pressed the same key too just now, why did it not sound as beautiful as hers ? But this gave a new information to him, this Soojung girl could play the piano by ear, and she's good at it.

"I know people like you," she began to say, and pressed the melody version of the previous Swan Lake with her right hand, now on a more leisured sound, and slower tempo, on normal occasion, he would have loved to be here. But seeing this girl, knowing the way she talks and how she wouldn't hesitate to insult a clueless stranger made an unavoidable irritation from deep inside him.

"I'm guessing, 17 ? Or is it 18 ? A private high school student with complete set of parents, having too much money that just lies around the house, lots of friends." She pressed the first key of the first accelerato before completely stopping to look at Sehun's direction, "Basketball ? Or is it lacrosse team ? Do people cheer for you and throw themselves at you ? I've known enough to identify such typical rich, spoiled kid who uses their parents' money and take people for granted. No wonder the piano never liked you." She continued playing as if she wasn't hurting anyone just seconds before. She hung her head down to look at the monochromatic set of keys below her fingers, deciding which one to press to make the most beautiful sound despite what's said in the partiture.

"Go home, your mommy's looking for you already. I could hear your phone vibrating from inside your pocket." Soojung said again.

Sehun scoffed, "Do you hate yourself so much that you preferred to watch over other people rather than your own self ?"

The sentence made Soojung abruptly stop her fingers from moving, but she quickly regained her posture and stood up from the scene. Looking at him straight in the eyes, she couldn't have told him not to judge, since she herself had judged him way too far to say such a pure, innocent statement. So she tried to prod further, "How does it feel, to love something so dear, but unable to convey it through action ?"

She looked at him intently, his gaze were narrowed towards the piano. She couldn't help but to feel sympathy towards him, hesitating if maybe, she should have retracted her words back and apologize to the poor boy. She, herself, knew how it feels to love something and desiring to act her love as frank as she can possibly do. That is the main difference between her and him, she could successfully act her love of music through the piano, whereas he, absolutely and definitely could not.

Yes, unlike what everybody had thought of, Soojung dearly loves her piano. Used to, anyway.

"How does it feel to do something beautifully while not having the heart nor soul to accompany you throughout the way ?"

She didn't expect that, and she also didn't expect the boy to turn his back on her instantly after that and made his way to the front entrance thoughtlessly, slowly getting out of her sight. The door then closed in on him as the winter breeze from outside kissed Soojung's bare arms shivering.

Then she discovered a slip of paper on the floor just next to the piano where he stood earlier. She bent down and looked at the thing, it must have fallen out when he took out his wallet earlier. She scanned at it, it said,

Oh Sehun / 1024059962
English, 7:50 - 9:30
History, 9:30 - 12:00
Math, 12:00 - 14:30

Right, this was the exam season. She sighed and looked at the slip of paper in her hand, once again. And think of how she could change someone's life whatever she decides to do with this slip of paper. She sighed and put the paper inside her pocket before walking down to the backstage to gather all her things.

She needs to get some sleep.

❄❄❄