Chapter 2: Hi~
I like the flow of your writing. It comes out clean and smooth if I read out aloud. And the plot is also catching. Keep up the good work ^^
Chapter 2: I like this story but here's one thing how does hyoyeon 'glare and hit her head when they're speaking on the phone? It would make more sense to say something like "I could feel her glaring at me and wanting to hit me on the head, through the phone."
Also, how are they staring at each other if Saera is in Seoul and Hyoyeon is in Busan? try and word so it would make more sense because they aren't next to each other but across a country. Anyways I hoped this helps :) I figured some help would be better then Update soon!
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