xXx

The boy threw the squishy ball up in the air, his eyes focused on nothing else. 

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Time seemed to pass endlessly as he did so, the same pink ball rising and lowering, up, down, up, down. The same thoughts trickled into his mind, over and over again.

Leave.

Stay. 

Leave. 

Stay.

Leave?

No...

Stay?

No!

Myungsoo sat up from the comfortable position he was in, frustrated with his thoughts. It was a Sunday, and it was raining. A sigh escaped his lips as he watched the rain fall in that eerie yet familiar pitter patter. 

Myungsoo wanted her to call, but at the same time he didn't. He wanted to talk to her, but at the same time he didn't. It was always like that with Suzy, it was never clear. 

He wanted her, and then he didn't. She wanted him, and then she didn't.

It was all too confusing. His head got muddled when he was around her, and he didn't want to deal with that anymore. But she decided to be the bigger person in this situation, and force them to sit down and talk about their feelings. 

But what were his feelings? What were her feelings? Not that it mattered really, since if they were ever together it would never really work out, they were just way too similar.

Yet he still wanted it to happen. 

What he felt for her was irrational and quite stupid. She had her chance, and she blew it. Then why is it, after he so claimed to have moved on, that he found himself back to her? And know, she wanted him!

He plopped himself back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling.

Incredible, how stupid love could make you feel. It truly was. Especially how dumb you could be in these sorts of situations. He was picturing the worst possible situations, her not calling like she promised, because she was too upset to talk to him, her, not calling like she said she would, because she finally realized he wasn't worth the trouble and went out with someone else.

All these thoughts, rushed to his head, and he had no clue what to do about it. He could only wait for her call, patiently.

Waiting for her to call him, waiting to know what she would say. He wanted to know.

He needed to know, if she still wanted to talk to him.

As if she had heard his thoughs, his phone rang, the familiar beeping ringing throughout his room. He jumped, and felt his heart thump rather loudly in his chest. It had to be her. It just had to be.

As he slid his phone unlocked, he answered with a rather nervous 'hello?'

It was a minute or two before the other end responded, yet he could shear her soft breathing in the meantime.

"Hi Myungsoo.."

Myungsoo instantly felt relieved, a large weight being lifted off his shoulders. She had called, just like she promised. Maybe she wasn't mad.

"Hey Ji, isn't it a little to early? I thought I told you not to call super early" he jokingly teased. 

He waited for her to laugh, and when she didn't, could feel his nervousness slipping back to him. 

She sighed and he swore he could almost hear her disapair ringing through the phone.

"Can we talk?" she quietly responded.

He gulped, his heart racing faster. 

Talking. 

He really didn't want to talk. 

"Um."

"Do we have to?"

He knew he just made a mistake. The girl scowled through the phone, "No. Let's talk now. Outside in 10."

She then hung up, leaving Myungsoo with his phone still in his hand, unresponsive.

He wasn't ready.

xXx