It started in the 9th grade. Bang Yongguk looked like a some kind of god sent down from the heavens to torture the living hell out of Sung Yerim.

 

Being the little satan that he is, he takes his shirt off while he lightly kicks the dirty soccar ball in between his feet.

 

While the sweat dripping temptingly and dreadfully slow down his sun glistened perfect chest, he was completely oblivious to the girl with the red dyed face watching him.

 

She doesn’t usually watch him, but today was going to be the day that she was going to talk to him.. until he decided to take his shirt off and then all hell broke loose inside of her, melting her before freezing her completely over.

 

His eyes caught hers and for that milisecond nothing seemed real and nothing felt as heavy as it ever did in that moment. With an attempt of moving her feet she didn’t even get far enough to put her foot back down to complete one step. hung opened and it motioned something, but no sound came out and before she knew it he was already out of sight.

 

damit.

 

When her heart beat returned to regular speed and everything turned back to it’s normal weight and pace.. she could do nothing else but remain still  with clednched fist, while the wind just slapped her hair against her face.

 

damit.

 

The next day wasn’t any better. Neither was the day after that.

 

Until he moved seats in class.. to the one right next to hers.

 

-<3-

 

holy .

 

Nothing could compare to the feeling of him being this close to her. Sharing a table, and sitting side by side is more than perfect for her to finally get her chance to talk to him.. if only she could muster up enough courage to actually speak.

 

Pulling out his chair he accidently hit her foot.

 

“I’m sorry!”

 

His first words to her.

 

how ironic.

 

-<3-

 

She didn’t know how they started talking, but they did.. and they didn’t stop. He was so easy to talk to, so damn down to earth that it dug her down deeper into her feelings.

 

He always looked so closed off she didn’t expect him to be so easy-going. She didn’t expect him to be so nice.. so nice to her.

 

---

 

He usually stayed after school to play soccar. He always played so aggressively and passionatly, that she envied him.

 

Not because he played soccar well, but because he was so passionate about everything.

 

Wether it was work or play, he was passionate about it. He worked so hard for everything.

 

She couldn’t help but envy and respect him. He seemed to have everything under control, he seemed to know exactly where he wanted to go, and it intrigued the hell out of Yerim.

 

Yerim had no idea what she wanted to do in life, she felt like she did everything so lazily, everything so half-assed.. because she couldn’t find herself to be passionate about anything.

 

Her thoughts took away the night and before she knew it, the night sky was slowly creeping in. The sun was dissappearing and so were the students in the yard, everyone except Yongguk and her.

 

Her large brown hues widen as he waves to her.

 

He was panting and the sweat made his hair slightly clinge to his forehead, and some slightly dripped down his neck.

 

Her cheeks were hot and she looked away with a pink face.

 

A pink face he caught, making him smile.

 

“Are you going home now?”

 

“Y-Yeah..”

 

She’s shy and cute. Yongguked smirked as he reached over, ruffling his hand through her hair.

 

“Aish” She grumbles cutely as she flattens out the messy strains Yongguk left. Her face never returned to its normal color.

 

The blush stained on her face made her so adorable in Yongguks eyes.

 

“Want to go home together?”

 

She shot him a look. It was a look Yongguk couldn’t help but laugh at,

 

“I mean, i’ll walk you home.”

 

“ah, uh, eh.. okay.” She stammered, obviously embarrassed.

 

cute. Yongguk laughed again as he threw his back pack over his shoulder.

 

-<3-

 

It was quiet at first. The only thing that could be heard was the ruffling of the leaves and grass, the vast winds, crickets and gravel being shoveled by their footsteps.

 

Yongguk cleared his throat. It’s a habit of his when he is nervous.

 

“So today in class we had to fill out a career report.. what did you put?”

 

“Eh.. nothing.” Yerim mumbled shamefully.

 

“Nothing? You don’t know what you want to be?” Yongguk asked genuinly. His smile made the conversation so light.

 

“I don’t even know what I am doing tomorrow.” Yerim let out a laugh. The smile lingering on her face beautifully relfexed from the illuminating moonlight.

 

Yongguk shot her a killer smile and her heart did so much more than skip a beat.

 

“heh.. neither do I..”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah.. I mean.. I don’t think anyone really knows. We might have an idea, but no one knows what will happen tomorrow.” Yongguks answer was soft. His voice was so low it was almost trembling.

 

“I always thought you knew exactly what you wanted..”

 

He chuckled, “I mean, I have dreams.. just like everyone else.”

 

The wind ruffled the dead leaves in the trees. The grass grew slightly colder as the night grew darker.

 

“So what did you put?”

 

A few seconds of silence made her regret asking, but her eyes perked up she heard his voice.

 

“Don’t laugh.”

 

“I won’t!”

 

“A Rapper.”

 

“A rapper?” She turned her whole body towards him, still with that dorky smile spreaded across her face.

 

“Yeah. I want to make music.”

 

She smiled at the thought of Yongguk telling her this. Smiling at the thought of knowing more about him.

 

“Do you have any idea what you would like to do?” He asked, slightly and boldly shifting his body closer to hers.

 

“I like to paint.. so maybe something with art..” Her voice trailed off. She grew embarrassed by how unsure she sounded.

 

“That’s cool.. I like art.” He smiled his killer smile.

 

-<3-

 

Their 9th grade year flew by, just like the wind, just like those dead leaves on the pavement.

 

They grew inseperable so quickly. So painfully, and beautifully quickly.

 

By the end of the semester they called each other best friends, even if they both secretely wanted to be more.

 

All good things have to come to an end right?

 

-<3-

 

It was summer break.

 

Everything was a dream come true for the both of them..

 

until Yerims parents had to leave Incheon because of work.

 

-<3-

 

“What do you mean?” Yongguk tried so hard to swallow the large lump lingering in his throat. He tried so hard not to hiccup back the words he spoke. He tried so hard to remain calm.

 

“I’m moving.. my parents got a great deal in California for their jobs.. i’m sorry.. i’m so sorry.”

 

“Don’t say sorry.. don’t be sorry..” Yongguk held the phone so hard against his ear that it hurt. He bit his trembling lower lip so hard it broke skin.

 

“I’ll write you.. I’ll call you whenever I can.” Her voice was weak and tried. So freaking tried as if it was the words broke her.

 

“But.. but didn’t you already get accepted into a school here?”

 

“Yeah.. but my parents already registered me into a school in California. I’m sorry..” The tears only burned more then the coming out of .

 

Only because they both can feel the tears. The words were real, but the tears can only show the pain they both feel.

 

“Pabo, stop saying sorry.” Yongguk is now lying on his back staring at his ceiling. Staring.. staring into nothing.

 

-<3-

 

2 weeks and 1 day after the semester started was the day that Yongguk got his first letter from Yerim. He took a picture of it with his phone and sent it to her, just so she can know that he got it.

 

That night he read the letter, over and over again until his eyes hurt. He read it over and over again until he memorized every word on the paper.

 

*Dear Yongguk,

Gukkie ;) I miss Korea. The states are so different, and to be honest i’m kind of scared. My English isn’t that well, so I get lost easily. Haha. I have changed a little, I hope you would still recognize me. My hair is longer, and the sun made it a little lighter. I gained a little weight too, haha. I wonder if you have changed too. I wonder if you are taller, or stronger.. or just if your interest have changed. I recently like to surf. I haven’t rode a wave yet, but i’m trying. I still paint, and I hope you still write. I hope you always smile and take care of yourself.

We all have dreams right? So I hope you are working hard.

 

PS I hope you enjoyed the painting ;)

-Love, Sung Yerim~<3

 

Each word was so sobering to Yongguk that the water building up in the corner of his eyes, slowly broke threw down to his cheek. He missed her. He missed feeling the heat in his ears and in his face from her voice saying ‘Gukkie”.

 

The painting was simple. So simple it made him laugh. It was of a seashell in sand. A beautiful bright seashell on an empty beach.

 

-<3-

 

It’s been 3 months since the first letter. 3 months, 800 text, 100 calls, 10 letters later.

 

Sitting on the beach Yerim dug her toes into the whitish yellow sand. The heat slowly flew away as she dug her feet in deeper. The cool on her toes made her shiver and giggle. She rode her first wave today. She rode her first wave today and for the first time since the move the air felt more clear and the sky looked a little bit higher.

 

She read Yongguks letter over and over as the orange daylight washed over her complexion.

 

*Dear Yerim,

How are you? Are you eating well in California? Is their a lot of Korean food? haha. It’s weird.. When something happens during my day, I keep turning to go find you to tell you.. but then I realize you’re not here. Haha it’s pathetic I make it seem like you died. I could have told you over the phone, but i’m embarrassed.

 

Did you know I wrote many songs? I hope you are painting a lot.

 

Smile a lot, you’re prettier that way.

-Love Yongguk.

 

She smiled and blushed at the last sentence. Giggled and laughed like a child, Then i’ll smile all the time.

 

She took her phone out of her shorts. Her wet hair is now only damp and it blows in the sandy wind. The sun is slowly retreated, making the sands surface a tad bit cooler.

 

She takes a picture of her. She tries to smile the biggest smile that can possibly fit on her face.

 

“To: Yongguk

Gukkie, am I pretty?”

 

Her fingers hesitently hover over the send button. She sighed, There were so many text messages that were typed.. that never got sent.

 

She inhaled deeply before pressing the bright red sent button.

 

It didn’t take long for a reply. It never did.

 

The light from the phone showed the red face reading the text.

 

“From: Yongguk

The prettiest.”

 

“To: Yongguk

I rode my first wave today :)”

 

-<3-

 

At the end of 10th grade, 11 grade quickly rolled in. Not giving enough time to properly prepare, or to properly have fun.

 

Yongguks family decided to move to Japan for the next year as they are the ones now who got a job offer.

 

It was all to cruel because Yerim flew into Incheon to the day his family moved to Japan.

 

“Where are you now?” Yongguk asked as if he really wanted to know the answer. He could only think about if he only had one more day in Incheon he would be with her right now.

 

“I’m in front of the school.” He let out a dry chuckle. It’s funny how the school doesn’t look that much different. The sky looks a little bit more discolored than it use to, and the feild is empty. Being back brings so many memories that Yerim couldn’t help but cringe, and squeeze the phone in her hands.

 

One, two, three. She took three steps, standing in the exact same spot where she was originally going to confess to him.

 

A single tear rolled painfully down her cheek. Stinging every inch of skin it rolled down.

 

She sniffled, “Eh, are you okay Yerim-ah?”

 

“yeah.. I just.. miss.. you.”

 

-<3-

 

2 years. 2 dreadful years. They already have graduated. Already go to college. Letters slowly started to lessen. Text were shorter and calls were more brief. As much as they hated to admit it, they were drifting apart.

 

Words weren’t as sensitive as they use to be between them.. and they were both to busy to do anything about it.

 

Lately Yerims mom caught the flu, so she took time off from school to take care of her while her father went on a business trip.

 

There was a knock on the door.

 

Placing a cup on her moms bedside she went to go get the door.

 

“Eh, hey Kris.” She said putting her hand awkwardly behind her neck. She wasn’t expecting him to show up at her house.

 

Kris was in the same art class that she was in.

 

And he smiled his dazzling smile as he handed her papers.

 

“These are worksheets that you missed from class.  I just thought I would bring them over.”

 

Her heart softened at the gesture. Her face softened and she couldn’t help but smile at him.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Is your mom doing okay?”

 

“Yes. She actually feels a lot better today. Thanks.”

 

“That’s great.” His voice was all genuine. So genuine it washed over her, and it made her whole world shift to a slower pace as she smiled for the first time in months.

 

“I’ll talk to you later. Tell your mom I said hi!”

 

“I will!” The livliness in her voice was exciting to her. It’s been awhile since this side of her came out.

 

2 days later she got flowers in the mail. She read the note attacheted.

 

“Yerim-ah I know you are reading this first. Don’t be to happy because these aren’t for you. Tell your mom to smile for me because she needs to be healthy. Tell her I miss her.

 

From- Yongguk”

 

On the bottom of the note was a horrible picture of a drawn cat with a themometer in its mouth.

 

cheesy.

 

This sentimental note made the lump in come out. There was nomore swallowing it as she put her hand over . She was both crying and laughing.

 

Pabo it’s only the flu.

 

-<3-

 

A month and a half. Time is passing to fast. She is growing taller, her hair is longer, and lighter. Yongguk is taller, more stronger and skinnier. The years between them only made them both look more mature.

 

The california sun made her a skin a little bit more darker. She is able to ride waves, and knows how to use different paints.

 

Yongguk knows how to use a mixer, a turn table, he knows how to edit his writeen music and to produce. He has even been doing a couple of small shows.

 

Both of them almost, just almost living happily, until they realize a slight, subtle thing inside of them missing.

 

eachother.

 

The time between them is only growing, growing farther and wider.

 

The inches between them only grow as each day passes.

 

-<3-

 

Kris and Yerim sit in the cold sand. The night sky hovers above them.

 

“Yerim-ah.. I like you.”

 

Her eyes widen, but she didn’t turn her gaze from the ocean. It was a bold straight-forward confession, that she didn’t know what to do with.

 

The sounds of the waves crashing, the sound of the wind, and the fireflies dancing oh so gracefully just above the shore.. makes the confession beautiful.

 

Although she is touched, it isn’t what her heart wants.

 

The more she replays his words in her head, the more she realized that she wanted to hear those words from Yongguk. As close as Kris and her were sitting, she wanted that to be Yongguk.

 

“Kris.. i’m touched.. but i’m sorry I don’t feel the same way.”

 

There was broken hearts all the way around.

 

But Yerim decided something, she decided that she didn’t want to be distant from Yongguk any longer.

 

-<3-

 

One more year passed, and Yongguk is now living back in Incheon.

 

The time took over and made it almost imossible for them to reach each other. Yongguk was making music, and Yerim was doing art shows.

 

Getting suffocated in the congestion of people Yerim held her phone in her hand. Staring blankly at the screen while she thought about the words she just typed.

 

“To: Yongguk

Gukkie.

Can I come see you?’

 

recieving an instant reply she smiled.

 

“From: Yongguk

Please.”

 

She has been saving up for 2 years so that she can buy the plane ticket, and to have enough for the train fare.

 

It’s Winter. The sky is grayish blue, and the grass is a little cold. The weather is enough to peirce your cheeks with a chill, and Yerim loved it all.

 

What was orginally a 16 hour flight turned into a 20. Snow was falling in that part of Korea and the plane was delayed.

 

My plane was suppose to land at 9:00pm. He isn’t going to wait four hours.

 

She sighed as she looked out the window of the plane. The weather left the window foggy with slight mist dripping down.

 

-<3-

 

The plane landed at 1:00am. When she walked out of the gate her eyes caught someone familiar. He had his scarf wrapped around his neck and mouth, his eyes were closed so he was probably sleeping.

 

Seeing him made her go back to that 9th grade child that she use to be. With a red stained face and a dorky smile she slowly walks up to him and tugs on his scarf.

 

His eyes widen at the sight of her. At the beautiful sight of her.. and for a few seconds he just takes her in. He stares at her awe struck with a gummy smile; and with a jumping heart, he jumps up.

 

She looked more beautiful then he could ever imagine. Her hair was wavy and had gotten so long. She was taller, and so was he. He was skinnier, but stronger. His hair was a little bit shorter, but his smile was still the same.

 

No words are said before he presses his lips against hers. No words needed to be said really.

 

This dream like moment was so beautiful, and heart wrenching at the same time the corner of Yerims eyes stung from the water being held back.

 

-<3-

 

Their laughter vibrated off of the walls of Yongguks studio. Yerim put her glass down and the slight soft thump echoed lightly.

 

Both of their lips stained slightly redish purple from the wine, and their faces dyed a soft pinkish white from both the alcohol and from the flustered feeling from each other.

 

They sit together underneath a soft red blacket as they smile at each other. Never in a million years would she had expected this. Expected Yongguk to like her back, to confess to her, to be this close to him, to be able to hold his hand.

 

It’s 3:06am and neither of them want to close their eyes for a second. Because time is on nobodies side as Yerim has to leave in the morning for work.

 

And if they fall asleep the morning would come to soon, so they stay awake sipping more wine and talking.

 

“Can.. Can I-I hold you?” He whispered into her. It was such a soft whisper it was barely even heard. His voice was so low it sent a shiver down Yerims body, and she didn’t want anything more than to comply happily as she nods.

 

With wide eyes she rests her back against his chest. She is nervous and giddy. The butterflies inside of her are sworming and attacking the beating organ in her chest and it’s making her tremble. This is something she has always dreamed of.

 

She presses her back a little closer to him.

 

His heart is beating just as fast as hers.

 

Wrapping his arms around her waist he rest his head inbetween the crest of neck. Inhaling the scent of her and being so close to her was just amazing. He hesitently moves his head a little closer and gently nibbles on the lobe of her ear.

 

She lets out a giggle and begins to squirm in Yongguks arms, but he only tightens his grip around her,

 

He gently laughs. His hot breath hits her ear and it makes her shuder and freeze.

 

Yongguk clears his throat from the excitement dwelling inside of him and from the thoughts building inside. He couldn’t help but think about the goosebumps that now take over her skin are because of him.

 

Smirking he slowly moves her hair to the side as he gently kisses her neck. Sending butterfly kisses up and down her collar bone.

 

The soft kissing, , and nibbling makes a moan escape yerims mouth.. and that was enough. Yongguk couldn’t take it anymore before placing his hand against her cheek, motioning her to look at him.

 

The eye contact was breif, but strong. The elecricty between them was inviting and tempting. He lowers his head just enough to press his lips against hers.

 

He ran his hands through her hair as he slowly and playfully glided his tongue across her bottom lip, asking for permission before gliding it over hers.

 

The after taste of wine on her lips was sweet, but the taste of her was even sweeter.

 

After a few seconds, the excitment they both felt was saddening. An overwhelming sense of sadness filled them both as their lips moved against each others.

 

Sadness of the fact that their time is limited, that fate wouldn’t allow them to be together.

 

-<3-

 

It’s now 6:45am and Yerim is standing on the loud rattling train. Standing infront of the entrance doors looking down the steps, down at her lover.

 

They were so close but so far away.

 

Her hands still clinging on his loose white shirt, with tears stinging the corner of her big round eyes.

 

The only thing seperating them was the steps. The only thing seperating them was a few inches.

 

Yongguk crashed his lips into hers. The taste of salt from her tears fell into his mouth, and then he couldn’t hold his in any longer.

 

It was time for the door to close and the train to take off.

 

“I’ll write you okay? Call and text you often. We will see each other again, okay?” Yongguk could barely cough out his words. The lump in his throat made them almost impossible to come out. His heart was in them, but his words didn’t sound promising..

 

and Yerim knew that. She couldn’t do anything but nod and give him a smile, a heart breaking, shattering smile.

 

and the doors closed, and the train slowly took off.

 

In movies and dramas the guy usually runs after the girl in the train, Or will get on the train in the next stop and tell her not to go, right?

 

but she knew that would’nt happen. For this was not a movie or a drama. What they had was barely a romance, and what they had, had just ended.

 

She sits into a cold seat on the train. Her long brown wavy hair fallen in front of her red tear stained face.

 

Her make-up slightly ran as she thought about her lover. Thought about how they met, and thought about their relationship with a sadden, broken smile.

 

She reached into her coat pocket to grab her phone, but instead she felt a paper inside and decided to pull it out.

 

Slowly unfolding it, her hands began to tremble.

 

“This is just part of a song I wrote;

 Help me, help me, help me

You shine when I look at you
My heart just pounds and looks for you
Where you are~
I’ll wait for you

When she seems in my reach, she gets farther away
Please give me a chance
If you hear my heart, give me a response~
 

---

[A/N] The lyrics are to crash by b.a.p :D Sorry for any errors and thank you for reading :D <3