Jaded

-"Some loves are meant to be,others are cursed" Beautiful Darkness.

-Dayeon-

She didn't have to say it;her expression tells it all. We had to move away. Again. It's the tenth time already, and I have no idea when this will ever stop; when I can stop running away, when the curse will stop chasing me. It's been a decade, and each year I've been to a new different country. What's the point of staying alive when you have to keep on running away because of a curse? Why not just let it take place and end the endless torture of not being able to stop worrying for the future?

I really cannot call it a happy life if I have to run all the time and be aware of everything that takes place. Well, it may not even be a life. There's no excitement or spontaneity all these time, and who knows when I'll be actually capable of having some good, happy things happen to me. Not in the next 10 years if I still have  to keep running.

I clenched my fists, pressed my lips and sighed a sigh that screamed jadedness.

"I'm sorry,honey-" my mother started saying but I cut her off. I'm tired of hearing those words all over again. I know she meant it, that she was sorry and everything, and I know she loves me, but hearing that all over again for the same thing just isn't right. Would you like it if you heard it for 10 times for the same reason? At least a little,someone would be pissed off even if they do believe in the words spoken.

"Please mom, stop apologizing." She sighed and disappeared in a few quiet steps.Probably to pack our things. We had to leave as soon as possible, and the latest they'd give me is tomorrow.Tomorrow.I have to say goodbye to my tenth home,how sad and bitter.How pathethic my life is.Running and hiding.When will this ever end?Or must it last forever? A curse is a curse,unless you do something besides jumping here and there in all parts of the world. 

"Where are we supposed to go next?" I asked, or more of huffed, angrily. 

"Maine." 

"Maine. Wonderful."

"It's not that bad, Yeon. The scenery is nice." Just like my sister to be oh-so-positive about things.

"That's not the point. Must we really go?" 

"Look, it's for your own good.We care about you, that's why we're doing such things."

Maybe it's because the anger I had earlier hasn't died down yet, or maybe it's just my sister's words. It was suffocating having to keep the frustration and the pinch sadness inside of me. It was burning away my sanity,destroying my view of life.Bringing down my once fresh hopes of living a happy life with people I care about.Will life get better? It looks like it's too late for improvements,for changes.But I know I have a tiny flicker of hope inside of me,even though I may not feel like it.When will things be fine? When? 

I knew saying it won't bring me anywhere to get what I want badly,but I still tried. If not then,then when? I still had to try.Like I said,I had a flicker of hope in me nearly all the time.And so I tried.

"Turning me into a vampire would have been a great solution," I said, rolling my emerald-green eyes.

"No." My protective brother.

"Why not?" I was getting annoyed.I am,lately.

"It's just not the right thing to do,and not the right way out.Period."

"That's not the right thing to do?Are you kidding me?Picking me up from the streets wasn't the right thing to do.Now that you refuse to even turn me into a darn vampire worsens the situation here. I don't even have any happiness in my so called mundane life, and you refuse even that? Just so I could live? I'd rather die tomorrow if I could be happy for even one day! Why can't you understand?!"I sort of yelled.I felt like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt better that I voiced out all that was in my mind all these while. They should know. They should be considerate.

My brother's eyes was dark as he heard what I said.His fists were clenched,and his knuckles turned white.I could almost hear his growl.He growls when he's angry,and I am one of the many lucky ones to have him growl at. Though I kept a stoic expression on,inside,I was a little afraid.I love him for him,but he's a goddamn vampire.He's a ferocious man,willing to fight with all his life for someone he loves.One would be at least a little afraid when facing his wrath.

He was still at the same position,standing straight and tall,staring down at me.All at once,the fury in me dissipated.I no longer felt big,strong and brave.I couldn't stand tall anymore,I nearly whimpered,but stopped myself in time.It wasn't the right time to show my weakness.And then,I felt a cool,steady hand on my shoulder.I smelled it.Peppermint.

Despite tears were threathening to fall because I couldn't bear to move again and to start a new life at a new place,I smiled a small meek smile.It was my sister.In law.Her soft,brown curls fell loosely on her back,and she had that soft,reassuring smile on her beautiful face.

"It's all right," she said. She my back, each time calming my nerves.

She looked at my brother - her husband - and gave a small frown. My brother's eyes softened, but he was still standing stiff. He took a deep breath (he usually doesn't) and seemed to have calmed down.

I turned away, not wanting to cry in front of him. He hates it when I cry, and most of the time, he would just panic and get all worked up which in turn would worsen the situation, and that wasn't what I wanted.

"Smile." I did not.

My lips curled up, without my intention and I furrowed my eyebrows in my mind. She was using her influence again. Damn it.

She patted my head, and gave me a hug. I felt sort of better, the smile still plastered on my face.

I walked to the couch and laid down; I felt tired. I sighed, and decided to take a nap. What else could I do? There's no way I can avoid not moving away. In fact, in this case, I'm helpless. I have to do what they say, because it's the best for me - though sometimes, it's the worst for me.

My sister was gone, probably helping my mother to pack our belongings.

My brother was gone too, probably to the woods to let out some steam.

My sister-in-law walked away, and I was left alone in the living room. Mind blank, totally still.

I could still hear her delicate, soprano voice breathing out the words before she left the room. 

"Everything, and I mean everything will be fine. You just have to wait."

I hoped so. 

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First chapter! Took some time with it, I didn't really have that motivation to update this so yeah. But on the bright side, it's here.

It's kind of short (my apologies), but it's only the first so I will improve and come up with better ideas and such. 

Thanks for all the comments, reads, subscribing, and the upvotes. You guys rock! Look forward to the next chapters, I'm not sure when I'll update, but I'll try to as much as I can. But then in order to write a good chapter, I need to have the inspiration, the motivation first. Like I said, I'll try! :) (my very best, I might add)

Until then, byeee. ♥