Daehyun slammed the apartment door behind him, not bothering to lock it, no one would come in here. He took his coat off and hung it before making his way towards the kitchen, his hand reaching, as if on instinct, for an empty glass and a bottle of the strongest liquor in his possession, he poured it slowly into the glass before setting the bottle down.

“You really shouldn’t”

The worried statement fell over him, freezing his movements as he turned his gaze away from the dark liquid swirling around in the glass.

“It’s not good for you Dae”

“Be quiet” he murmured, telling himself he shouldn’t pay attention to these kinds of things, before taking a long swig of the burning alcohol; reveling in the way it crawled painfully down his throat.

“Always so stubborn” her soft, disappointed voice chilling him to the bone

“Go away, I don’t want you here” he downed the rest of the drink before setting it onto the marble countertop

“You and I both know that isn’t true” she replied and he could imagine her rolling her eyes.

He snorted “Jesus” he pulled at his tie

“Let me” and he could picture her fingers reaching towards his collar

“Don’t touch me!” he yelled, whirling around, loosening his own tie before continuing towards the couch; his fingers pulling at his shirt, un-tucking it before unbuckling his belt.

“Don’t-”

But he cut her voice off by throwing the belt over the back of the couch.

“Why do you always do that?”

He ignored the irritating sound re-vibrating through his skull and around his empty and cold apartment as he fell onto the cream couch she’d picked out, a hand running though his hair before falling over the arm of the couch, slowly running the tips of his fingers over the smooth surface.

“Why do you still keep these things?” her voice sighed from somewhere on his right “You’ve always hated these couches”

A groan of mild despair left his lips and his hand ran over his face roughly “Why are you here?” he wondered out loud.

The snort he’d always considered cute made his spine shiver.

“I’m not here Daehyun” her soft voice fell over him before a touch of ice cold hit him squarely on the forehead “I’m here”

He gasped and snapped his head as far away towards the back of the couch as he could, hoping to never feel the freezing touch again “Don’t touch me!” he yelled into thin air, standing to walk back towards the counter, gripping the empty glass he’d left and moving towards the bottles of liquor lined along the wall.

“Why not?” her sweet voice had him closing his eyes

“Why are you here? Go away!” he glared and threw back another glass of amber liquid

“I wish I could” she sighed “…you shouldn’t mix your alcohol Da-“

“God” he sneered “I must be crazy”

“You’re talking to yourself, what else could you be?” she wondered

He turned sharply, his hand letting the glass fly and shatter against the wall, small pieces of glass sparkling across the floor as amber dripped from the cream colored couch “Leave me alone!”

“Leave me alone” she replied, not mockingly, but pleadingly.

His eyes narrowed as if she stood in front of him “You’re the one…haunting me” he defended himself

“The dead-“

“Shut up!” he snapped without thought, his heart clenching at the simple word “Don’t-“

“Dead” she stated again, softly, soothingly “That’s what I am Daehyun” she informed him, as if he didn’t know “I’m dead” her voice rose in volume “You should remember”

And his mind was assaulted by images of that day…Her small body, so fragile contained within the white casket, her skin pale enough to blend into the pillow that held her head up, chin daintily pointing towards the red roses he’d placed so delicately between the hands his own had enveloped so many times before….and her “Stop!” he cried slumping against the counter, his knuckles white as the marble dug into his palms “Stop it” his voice watery at the images of the last day he’d laid his eyes on her “Why…” he felt his eyes burning “Why would you do that?” his voice weakening as the images ran through his mind as if on a marathon.

“I’m sorry” her voice whispered directly into his ear

His body reacting by backing away and toppling over a chair “Please leave me alone” he swallowed, feeling the tightening within his throat.

“I will…as soon as you leave me alone” she sighed

His cellphone ringing broke though the delicate air and he staggered to snatch it, sighing in relief at the distraction and picking it up without checking who was calling “Hello?” he answered weakly, his eyes quickly falling over a shadow falling over the counter before moving away

“Daehyun” a rough voice stated in disbelief “You answered”

Daehyun couldn’t keep his eyes from falling over the picture framed on one of the walls of his apartment

“Daehyun?” the man asked

Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes to reply “Hyung” he mumbled “Hello”

“Hi” Yongguk breathed awkwardly through the line.

Daehyun could feel the tears gathering at hearing his hyungs voice, his lips quirking as he heard the maknae and his other members….ex-members, he reminded himself, yelling over each other about something or other before Himchan told them to be quiet.

“I…did you get my message last week?”

He took a deep breath, remembering the heartfelt voicemail he’d received last Wednesday “Yes…”

Yongguk cleared his throat “And will you be coming over?” he wondered

Daehyun’s head dropped so he ran his gaze over the scruff on his brand new shoes “I don’t think so hyung…I just…I’m sorry”

“It’s Christmas Daehyun” Yongguk stated softly

Clenching his eyes shut, Daehyun nodded “I know, I’m sorry…I just can’t”

“Alright” Yongguk sighed “I guess…I’ll let you go; Merry Christmas Daehyun”

“You too hyung”

Daehyun shut the phone and threw it onto the table quickly.

“You always spend Christmas with the members”

“They aren’t my members anymore” he stated, walking towards the guest bedroom

“You have your own bedroom”

He clenched his teeth “That’s…No. Just. Shut up alright?”

“You have to accept it Daehyun” her shrill tone made his hands cup his ears “You have to move on!” she cried

“How!” he yelled, a tear finally making its way down his cheek “How can I move on!?”

“By letting me go! You have to let me go! You can’t keep doing this to yourself Daehyun! Look at you!” she admonished “You’re talking to someone who doesn’t even exi-”

“Then why can I hear you?!”

“Because you haven’t accepted the fact that I’m gone! I’m gone Daehyun…I am never coming back. You have to accept that”

“Shut up!” he slid down the wall, cupping his ears to stop the voice from penetrating his skull; thinking he’d succeeded as a bought of silence followed, he slowly opened his eyes only for his heart to clench painfully and his breath to leave him, his hand slowly, cautiously stretching towards the translucent figure in front of him; a shaky breath as he sat on his knees to get closer. A cry of horror as his hand slipped through her, slicing through her heart and in return, his own “No” he cried desperately

“This is all I am anymore Daehyun” she whispered, but her lips didn’t move, nor did her eyes open “Something you can look past…empty”

“No…No!” he yelled

“Yes!” she cried “I’m gone Daehyun…no one can change that…You have to accept that…you have to move on”

“Why?” he asked tearfully “Why?” he asked again

“Because, when you’re like this…you aren’t living and you have so much to live for”

“I had you”

“I was just a small part of your life…You’ll have a great life even without me Daehyun”

“I won’t”

“You will” she sighed “I promise you will”

“I don’t want to forget you”

“You don’t have to; but you have to move on from me…from what we had…from what life was like with me. You have to accept it Daehyun”

He wiped at the tears still rolling heavily down his face “How?” he pleaded for an answer

“Slowly…without pushing the people that care about you away…without regrets” her voice faded “Do it…for me”

“Wait”

“You’ll be fine Daehyun”

----

Yongguk tied the bag full of shreds of wrapping paper and set it aside as the dorm room door bell rang over Jongup and Zelo’s voices yelling at the game he’d gotten for Christmas.

“Who is it?” Manager Kang wondered as he wandered through the hallway, walking towards his room with a plate of food.

Yongguk leaned over to watch the t.v. that displayed their visitors’ identities; Yongguk froze for only a second before his gummy smile lit up his normally stressed face. He swung the door open so hard the knob knocked into the wall.

Daehyun’s sad but evident smile appeared over his features “I hope I’m not late”

Yongguk stepped away and watched his younger brother step through the dorm he’d left so long ago; rejoicing at the fact that, at least for today, everything would be alright.

---

A/N:

Hello! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! 

Even though this story is a bit sad! I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

- Kyute19