“Merry christmas!” the people infront of the door shout as soon as I open it. “Merry christmas guys” I laugh and let them all in. “How are you hyung?” asks Changjo as soon as he stepps in. “Im ok Changjo” I smile. “You shure?” Minsoo asks conserned. I just nod. “Just a few more days Chanhee. Be strong.” he smiles and followes Niel into the livingroom.

Yeah just a few more and than he will be back. My Byunghun. He is in Israel right now fighting for his country. Stupid military service. 

“Hyungs!” a high voice suddenly interrupts my thoughts. I chuckle to myself and walk into the livingroom. There he was. My little angle. Taewon my son. “Jesus you look just as handsome as your appa you know that?”“Really?” “Oh yes “ Ricky answeres him. Tae giggles as Ricky tells him how much Byung and he look alike. Yeah it is true. He really does look like his father. “Ok guys lets eat” I say and the boys hurry to the table full of different foods. “Now Tae what did Santa bring you?” Ricky asks excited. And there they go talking about all the presens Santa brought. We other just laugh seeing them so excited. Just as Taewon was rambling about how big and fluffy his teddy is he suddenly turns sad. “But Santa didn’t make my biggest wish come true.” “Wich one?” “Bringing appa back” he says his voice nearly breaking. “Don’t loose hope Tae. The day is long. Maybe Santa just needs to bring him later you know” “Really?” “Changjo` I warn him but he just smiles and continues. “Yes. Don’t loose hope” “Changjo! In the kitchen. Now.” I growl. As soon as we reach the kitchen I slam him against the counter. “Can you stop giving him hope? You know that he will be home in a few days and not today. He will be totally crashed if Byung doesn’t come today. Please stop this.” I say anger in my voice. He just rolls his eyes at me and says “Have you ever heard of christmas miracles?” “Changjo…” “Start believing hyung” he smiles and leaves me dumfounded in the kitchen. Believe? What the heck? That guy really looks too much TV. I sigh and go back to the others.

An hour later we all were sitting on the sofas in the livingroom. Changjo was on his phone typing like crazy. Minsoo hyung and me were sitting in front of him while Ricky and Tae were on the ground playing some game. Niel was somewhere I didn’t knew. Suddenly Changjo jumps up and rushes out of the room. “Ok? That was weird” I mumble. “Maybe he needs to go on the toilet” Minsoo says. “Hey can we talk… you know… under 4 eyes?” “Sure hyung” I reply and follow him in the kitchen. “Are you really ok? I mean if I couldn’t see Niel for 2 years I sure as hell wouldn’t be ok.” “Well it’s hard but I’ll manage.” “Sure. By the way I noticed how you lost that spark in your eyes.” “Spark?” “Yeah. That spark wich was in your eyes whenever Byunghun was with us. Since he is gone that spark is also gone.” “oh” I answer. Suddenly I hear the front door open and close again. Just as I wanted to turn around and go look why someone had opened the front door Misoo speaks up again. “You know you should try to get that spark back. Maybe… maybe you should start believing” and with that he was out of the kitchen. What. The. Heck. What is with all the believing? I should start to believe? Well it would have been nice if someone tells me at what I should believe. They want me to believe? Fine. I start to believe in the insanity of my donsaengs and my hyung. I groan in annoyance and walk back into the livingroom. Niel and Minsoo were cuddling on the sofa while Changjo and Ricky smirked at me. “Umma! What’s the present” Tae asks me as he looks up at me with big eyes. “Present?” I ask confused. He shakes his head and stares at me again. “I don’t know what you are talking about Tae” I answer and he tilts his head in confusion. “But the hyungs said that there is a present in the guestroom and that is for you.” What? A present? Ok something is definitely wrong here. “Yeah hyung go and look at your present” Niel suddenly says while turning around. Now all four had this weird smirk on their faces. WEIRD! ”Can you go and look omma?” Tae asks and I just nod my head. Just as I want to open the door to the guestroom somebody covered my eyes. “We just want it to be perfect” a deep voice, which belongs to Minsoo hyung, says next to my ear. Again I groan in annoyance as someone else opens the door and Minsoo and me walk in. “Ok I’ll go out now and as soon as you hear the door close you are allowed to open your eyes got that?” “Yes” “Good boy.” He says and the hands leave my eyes. I can hear his footsteps dissapearing and than the door closes with a click. As soon as I open my eyes I forget how to breath. The whole room was covered in red candles and roses. And than there was him. Standing in the middle of the room surrounded  by white candles and white roses smiling his big smile which I fell in love as I first saw it. “Byung” I breathed out and ran into his arms already feeling the tears falling from my eyes. “I missed you so much” I cried in his chest and he hughs me even tighter. “Trust me. I missed you more baby” he chuckles as he lays his head onto mine. “You know… I love you Chanie” he smiles at me as he moves away a bit to look into my eyes. “I love you too Byungie” “God I missed you.” He chuckles. Suddenly he turns seroius. “Ever since I first saw you back in high school I’m in love with you. You were so beautiful. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else than you. I couldn’t help myself to watch you every minute of the class. And than you noticed me, smiling your beautiful smile at me and god I could have died right there and then. Do you know how nervous I was when you first talked to me? I felt so stupid for stuttering through the whole conversation but you just laughed and called me cute. And I? I just fell more in love with you.

Getting closer to you was one of the four miracles in my life I could never understand. I was the happiest man in the whole country that someone like you would actualy talk to someone like me. A loser. A nobody. But then there you are all smiling and asking me about myself and than there is me all shy and really uncool. Do you still remember that time were I asked you out on a date? Actually I never planned on asking you it just slipped. But you said yes and it was the goddamn best date in my live. And you let me kiss you. God how I fell in love with your lips. They are really tempting you know? Well anyway you were my boyfriend after that night, wich by the way is the second miracle in my life, and you made me so so happy. We had our ups and our downs but we alsways found back to ourselves and to our love.

And than 10 years later miracle number 3 happened. You got pregnant with my baby and you actually wanted to keep it, saying you always wanted to have children especially if I’m the father. You and Tae are my world. I love you two so much it hurts sometimes. I couldn’t live without you two by my side. I need you so much.” “We need you too” I choked out through my tears. “I love you so much Byunghun.” His words brought back all the memories which I tried to hide for the past two years. But suddenly something hit me.”What’s the fourth miracle?” I ask him and he smiles at me. “You’ll know in a few minutes. All of the things I said are the things wich made me fall in love with you. And I fell hard. I want everybody to know how much I love you. So…” he started and suddenly went down on one knee getting out a small black box. “…I want you to be officially mine and therefore I ask you…do you wanna marry me?” he finishs and opens the box revealing a small ring with a white diamond ontop. God I have never cried so much in my entire live. Just as I’m about to answer we hear loud voices and suddenly the door openes revealling our son with red puffy eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks. Behind him are standing the idiots of friends we have looking rather chocked. Suddenly Tae starts to run and jump into his appas arms who are spread wide to catch him. “Appa I missed you so much” he cries in his neck. “I missed you too troublemaker” “Hey baby why are you crying?” I ask as I his back. “T-the h-hyungs said I ca-an’t se-e appa” he cries even louder now. “Really now guys? Why are you doing this?” I ask them more than annyoed. “We just wanted everything to be perfect” Changjo says trieing to defend them. “What would you do if you havend seen Ricky for two years and then somebody tells you he is just next door but won’t let you see him?” “I would kill everybody who is in my way” he answers quietly and lets his head hang low. “see? Now out with you!” I say and slam the door in there faces. In the meantime Byung could successfully calm Tae down again. “Omma did I do something wrong?” he asks quietly and looks up at me with sorrowful eyes. I sigh and sit down in front of him and Byung. “No baby you didn’t do anything wrong. Appa and me just wanted to have a few minutes for us. That’s all” “Yeah your Omma is right. But don’t worry everything is fine” Byung says and kisses his forehead.

Tae nods and starts smiling again as he tells Byung everything that happened while he was gone. Some time passes and as soon as Tae finishes he yawns. “Ok that’s our signal to bring you to bed so up Tae and of into bed with you” I chuckle as he yawns again. “Ok” he says and walks over to the door, opening it but freezes in the middle of opening it. Slowly he turns around a terrifying look on his face. “You won’t leave us again will you appa?” he asks panicking. Byung chuckles but answeres with a no. Tae relaxes again and steps out of the room leaving us alone there. “I can’t belive he is already four years old” Byunghun says slowly while looking at the door. “Yeah he grew up fast” I answer as I crawled over to him and sit on his lap my arms around his neck his arms around my wqaist getting me closer to him. I smile at him as I remember that I haven’t aswered yet.

So I leaned foreward till I was infront of his ear. “About the question earlier…” I start and feel him tense. Nervous huh? “…yes” I whisper in his ear and in the next moment his lips are on mine kissing me passionately. He pulls away from the kiss just to slip the ring onto my finger and then kiss me again.

“That’s miracle 4 by the way. You saying yes” he beathes out through his heavy pants. “I love you Byungie” “ I love you too Chanie.”