"Jongin-ah~ let's go home together."

"Oh!" He seemed to be surprised seeing me. Why? "Ah, Sophie. I can't go home with you today. I have something to do. Sorry."

"I'll wait for you to do it then." I grinned.

"No. Just go home now. It's getting darker outside." My grin faded. What happened? He was really different these days.

I nodded. "Bye."

"Take care~!" He shouted as I walked through the corridor.

I kept walking and thought. What was really happening to him? He didn't usually let me go home alone. He always said that there might be someone would do bad things to me.

He is Kim Jongin. My childhood bestfriend until now. He was my first friend in kindergarten. We were classmates from elementary school until middle school. I didn't have any idea why God separated us in high school. I'm in X-2. He's in X-5. I was really sad. I felt comfortable with him. No one could understand me. Only Jongin could. We used to share laughter and sorrow. Until that day, the first day of high school.

I felt the distance between us became real and more. I once asked him why. He just answered, "Why 'why'?". I could only smile.

If only he knew how much I missed him, how much I wanted to go back to our happy times, how much I wanted him to know what I actually felt inside.

My heart always beated faster when he was around. I froze when he touched me. I didn't know since when I felt that way. I hated the fact that I already fell for him because I knew he wouldn't feel the same. But I enjoyed the time I spent with him, the time I palpitated.

 ***

"Mom, I'm going to buy something. I'm leaving," I told my mom.

"Take care, baby," she answered. My mom is Spanish. She gave me the name 'Sophiana' and I like it. My dad is Korean. So I had 'Lee' in my full name. I like it too.

I wore my coat and opened the door. Wow. The snow was dropping. I liked the view. My favourite colour is white and the snow is white. I walked to a hypermarket to buy ice cream.

Yeah, I know I'm a weirdo. It was extremely cold outside buy I bought ice cream. It was my habit. Eating cold things in cold weather. My favourite ice cream flavor is green tea. Jongin used to buy me green tea ice cream when I was sad. Oh, here I am missing him again.

I walked to the playing ground near the hypermarket. I decided to eat my ice cream there because I knew my mum would scold me if she knew I ate it. My footstep stopped suddenly. Wait. Wasn't it Jongin? The guy who was wearing blue coat. It was the coat he used to wear. What was he doing there? I wanted to approach him but I stopped as I saw a girl standing in front of him. I didn't know who she is.

What were they both doing? Why were their faces really close. No! Jongin was going to kiss her. I couldn't see this.

I ran really fast to my house. This was too hard to handle. Tears started to make their way on my cheeks. My heart was really aching and painful. Why should I feel this way?

I kept telling myself, "Stupid! Sophie, you stupid! Stop crying!" But it just made me cry even harder. I entered my house and went straightly to my room.

I cried hard while laying on bed. I didn't let any voice out of my mouth but tears kept rolling uncontrollably. I fell asleep as I wished tomorrow would come faster and I could skip the night.

***

Today I went to school as usual. I tried to not meet Jongin. I didn't go to cafeteria during lunch time. I didn't go out of class. I stayed in my class, listening to my favorite ballad music. Errggh it made my feeling worse.

The school bell rang. It was the time to go home. I waited until all student went home. I waited for an hour. After checking the corridor and ensuring that there was nobody there, I walked out. Today, I didn't meet Jongin. It felt so wrong but it felt so right. I didn't want meet him. I was all broken. He might not care about me anymore. He didn't try to meet me today. And it was enough to prove that he didn't care.

I felt a soft hand grabbing my hand. I looked behind. Crap! It was Jongin. I turned back, ready to rush. He turned my body. He looked into my eyes and still held my hand. I looked down, not brave enough to see him.

"Sophie, are you trying to avoid me?" he asked.

"No."

"Look at my eyes and answer," he said. He knew, if I looked into his eyes I'd tell the truth.

I lifted my head and looked into his beautiful eyes. My mouth was locked. I didn't know what to say.

"See? I know something has happened and you don't tell me."

I kept silent.

"Did I do wrong?" he asked. I looked at his sad look. I couldn't see it, so I looked down again.

"No, Jongin-ah. You didn't. I did." Tears slowly ran down my cheeks.

"What did you do wrong?" He held my shoulder.

"I... I... I feel really hurt," I said with shaky voice. I cried harder. Jongin instantly hugged me. I cried on his chest. It felt comfortable but I couldn't stop crying like a baby. It was hard to tell him.

It was harder to keep it in my broken heart.

"I saw you... Last night, in the playing ground near hypermarket..." I could feel Jongin's hug weaken. "You were with a girl. And..." I took a deep breath. "... you kissed her."

"Sophie-ya..."

"Is she the reason why you changed these days?" I asked him after letting out his hug. I looked into his eyes this time. He looked back at me without any words. "Answer me!!" I yelled in frustation tone.

"Could it be... Could it be..." he muttered.

"You got it right. I've fallen for you. Not as a friend, but as a man." I yelled again. I put my hand on my head because I felt my head was spinning around. I told him. I really told him and he heared me.

He took my hands and held them really tight. I looked down, afraid of what would be coming from his mouth. "Listen. I didn't think I would do this faster than I planned. But please," he took my chin up. His face was getting closer to my face. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips touching mine.

Tears fell down my cheeks while I was closing my eyes. His lips were so tender. I couldn't believe, he just took my first kiss. He held my hand tighter. His another hand was still in my chin, keeping my chin up because he was much taller than me. I let go my lips from his lips and opened my eyes. He opened his eyes too.

He cupped my face with his hands. "That was what I practiced with my sister last night. I was supposed to do it on your birthday on the Christmas Day. But you make me do it faster. Sophie-ya, you don't know how much I love you as a women."

My eyes widened. "What?"

He took his hands from my face. "I realized it when we entered high school. I didn't know what to do with my heart. I felt so bad to fall in love with my bestfriend, so I tried to forget you. I think that's the reason why you kept asking me 'why'."

I had my mouth hanging open. I stopped crying. "Seriously?"

"I have no idea that you would feel hurt seeing me kissing with another girl eventhough she's my sister." He grinned. "You mustn't have seen it clearly. We didn't really kiss. You didn't watch the entire scene."

I hang my head in shame. "So that was your sister."

"Sophie-ya. I love you." He said, looking seriously into my eyes.

I looked up. "Jongin-ah. I love you too."

"I know." He smirked.

I hissed and smacked his arm. He laughed and hugged me really tight. I could barely breathe but I didn't care, I hugged him back. I could hear Jongin's heart was beating probably faster than mine.

"I can hear it," I said.

"That's what I feel whenever I see you," he whispered and kissed the top of my head.