“What’s so great about him anyway?”

“Well for one thing,” Taemin says, struggling to get out from beneath the older boy’s grip, “he doesn’t pin me to my bedroom floor in a jealous rage.”

Jonghyun only holds onto his wrists tighter, enraged further because Taemin is right. Jongin would never do this to him, never be this rash and violent. He would never attack Taemin out of envy and bitterness, or scream at him and leave only to wander the streets for hours while he fumes. No, he’d be nothing like Jonghyun is, and it infuriates him.

“If I let you go you’ll leave again.” Jonghyun says. It’s a statement not a question; something he knows to be true. He’s crossed a line this time. Hell, he probably crossed it a long time ago, and he’s just been pushing Taemin away from him this whole time with his unbridled hostility.

Taemin isn’t even fighting back, which hurts Jonghyun even more. He’s just lying there staring up at him angry eyes, waiting for the elder to move off of him. Jonghyun wishes he would though. He wants Taemin to break free of his hold, to shove him back into the floor and beat the out of him for everything he’s done, everything he’s put the younger through in the past months. It’s what he deserves and it’s all he wants; that, and for Taemin to stay with him after.

“Get off of me, Jonghyun” is all the younger says, flat and emotionless. Jonghyun’s eyes water and he bites his lip. There’s nothing he can do to save this anymore, and he’s beginning to think there never was. Not since Jongin came into the picture after being away for so long.

Kind-hearted, soft-smiled Jongin. Taemin’s best friend since childhood, with all the same interests and tastes, and all the old stories of school days and summers gone by. Jongin, who is so absolutely perfect for Taemin in every way that even strangers can see the way sparks fly between them. Jonghyun once had that. Taemin would look at him with a soft sparkle in his eye and a smile on his plump lips, but now it’s all cold stares and awkward conversations, and smiles only reserved for when he’s far away from the elder.

Jonghyun lets go of Taemin’s wrists and crawls off of him. He stays on the floor as the younger stands up, dusting himself off and fixing his hair where Jonghyun grabbed it earlier. He looks down at the older man, his gaze returned by desperate tear-filled eyes, pleading silently for him. But crying won’t change anything, and Taemin turns to leave, stopping only at the door when he hears words through Jonghyun’s choked sobs.

“I’m so sorry.” He says, his voice cracking pitifully. The younger looks back over his shoulder to see Jonghyun with his head down, the sight of him leaving too much to bear.

“I know.” Taemin says, voice just loud enough for Jonghyun to hear, before letting the door close behind him.