***NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT SET IN KOREA***

Laelynn Kim brushed her shoulder-length, light brown hair over her shoulder, frowning slightly out of annoyance. She walked to the check-out counter, placing a bag of bread, a large jar of Nutella, and a brown carton of white eggs on the moving black belt.

“Your total comes to seventeen-forty-two.” The cashier announced in a cherry voice as she happily slammed a yellow plastic sign on the belt, reading “THIS LANE IS CLOSED!”

Laelynn pulled out a handful of wrinkled paper bills from her coat pocket, quickly counting the loose change before handing it to the cashier. She grabbed her bags, careful not to drop the eggs.

“Merry Christmas:” The cashier smiled at her.

Laelynn stared at her for a moment before forcing the corners of to go up instead of down. “Merry Christmas.” She replied slowly before walking out of the store, stepping outside into the world of frost.

Laelynn heard herself gasp involuntarily as her beige winter boots sank into three inches of deep snow. Sighing, she hitched her backpack higher up her shoulders as she tugged at her purple scarf, making sure it was wrapped snugly around her neck.

She breathed out as she began making her way through the thick snow, watching as her warm breath hung as foggy clouds in the midst of drifting snowflakes. High above her head, the sky was quickly darkening, the vast grey clouds showering down billions of tiny, sparking flakes.

Finally, Laelynn found herself in front of the heavy double doors of a familiar building. Gripping the steel handle, she pulled it open, shivering slightly. Immediately, she felt her numb fingers begin to thaw, the red tips of her ears returning to a light shade of pink.

She stomped her boots on the ground, shaking clumps of snow on the floor. She walked farther in before turning to the left into an empty room, the walls lined with rows of small metal boxes.

Fishing for the chain of keys in her coat pocket, Laelynn balanced the groceries in her left arm as she inserted the key into one of them, pulling the tiny door open. Her heartbeat quickened as she saw while paper inside. She reached in swiftly and pulled out the paper, her heart sinking to her toes when she realized it was not a white envelope with her name neatly scrawled across the upper left corner in her brother’s careful handwriting. Instead, she found herself staring at a glossy advertisement for cheap duct clearing with disappointment.        

She tossed the advertisement into the recycling bin by the corner. Suppressing a gloomy sigh, she let her own feet carry her out of the room and into the old creaky elevator, stopping at the fifth floor.

Laelynn stepped out and turned right, walking down the hall. Stopping at the third door, she clumsily fumbled around in her pocket before her still- clammy fingers closed around the cold metal key which she jammed into the lock and wiggled around before pushing the door open with her hip. “Mom: I’m home.”

She braced herself for the question. The same question every day.

“Was there any mail today?”

Swallowing, Laelynn blinked rapidly when she heard her mother’s hopeful, raspy voice. Placing the groceries on the tiny kitchen counter, she tore her eyes away from the thin, frail figure lying on the couch.

“No.” Laelynn replied bluntly, shrugging off her school backpack and grey winter jacket.

There was that familiar uncomfortable silence which hung in the air of the tiny apartment.

“Oh.” Her mother finally murmured dejectedly.

Another awkward pause. Silence, as if it were a heavy weight, seemed to fall upon the room again.

“I’m going to go into my room. You don’t mind making dinner tonight again, do you?”

“I don’t mind.” Laelynn hurried over to help her mother off the couch, clutching on to her arm tightly.

Her mother waved her other arm in the air dismissively. “It’s fine. I can walk.”

She ignored her mother’s protest, helping her into her room and on the bed.

“Thanks,” Her mother said feebly, and Laelynn felt her heart sink as a familiar realization hit her.  

Her mother wasn’t going to get better. It was only the matter of how much worse her body became every passing day.

Actually, it had all begun going downhill for Laelynn and her family around mid-August. Out of nowhere, her father had suddenly decided he couldn’t handle her mother’s sudden, mysterious illness and quickly filed a divorce. He moved out in three days flat, taking almost everything with him. Malvyn, her older brother who had just turned twenty-three, had decided to join the army two months before the divorce, leaving his sister anxiously waiting for his special letters that arrived in their mailbox every three weeks.

Laelynn was left alone to care for her mother and her rapidly descending health.

To make things worse, she hadn’t received any letter or words from Malvyn for the past two months, and every day, her ill mother would ask if they’d gotten any mail.

It was because of these things that Laelynn found it difficult to smile, being forced to endure the cheerful red and green Christmas craze around her hadn’t helped either.

Every time she saw her mother, Laelynn would find herself grow angrier at her father. As for Malvyn, all she could do was pray every night that he wasn’t dead, but just that he, too, had had enough of their ruined family and decided to withdraw himself like their father had.

 

It was Christmas Eve, and Laelynn had been busily preparing home-made chicken noodle soup for her mother.

She was interrupted by three sharp knocks at the door.

Quickly wiping her hands on her jeans, Laelynn hurried to the door, opening the door to reveal a tall man, dressed in an army uniform, his face solemn.

“Callista Kim?”

Biting her lip, she glanced briefly at the closed door of her mother’s bedroom before turning back to the solider. “She’s… not home.” Laelynn said quietly. “But I’m her daughter, Laelynn Kim.”

Clearing his throat, the soldier spoke. “On behalf of your nation’s army, I am here to report to you of your family member, Malvyn Kim, brave acts and courageous passing. He died in combat overseas, but he will always be remembered by his country for his time, patriotic commitment to his country. We are deeply sorry for your loss and we wish the Kim family the best in the future.” He paused. “Good night.” He walked away, leaving Laelynn speechless. 

Laelynn felt her knees give way under her and she sank to the ground, her heart pounding heavily in her ears. Her body was numb with disbelief, too shocked to even have tears.

“Laelynn?”

Her mother was panting slightly, leaning against her doorframe. “Who was at the door?”

“It was just… someone advertising for cheap duct cleaning.”

Nodding slowly, her mother turned around to go back into the room.

 

It was a typical Christmas morning.

Laelynn awoke to a sky full of glistening icy flakes, every car roof, building and house laden with a coat of white. Pushing her blankets off with a sinking feeling in her heart, she stepped on to the cold tiled floor, shivering lightly. She shook her head, an unrealistic idea formed in her mind.

After arguing with herself for a few long seconds, she slipped into her boots and grabbed her silver chain of keys off the counter, running out the door and sprinting to the elevators. She slammed her fist against the button frantically, and when the elevator refused to arrive immediately, she bolted down the corridor, going into the silent staircase.

Laelynn practically few down five flights of stairs, skipping down two steps at a time. Nearly tripping over her own feet, she arrived in front of the familiar metal box, panting. Without hesitation, she inserted her keys into, the lock, yanking the door open.

  Peacefully, almost as if it was waiting for her, lay a flat, ivory envelope. Her heart beating rapidly, she reached in slowly and gently took the envelope in her hands, as if it would disappear if she held it too tightly. She slowly pried off the flap, pulling out a thin, folded letter and a simple blue pen. With shaking fingers she unfolder the paper.

“Dear Laelynn,

            I’m so sorry for not being there with you during these times. I know I should, but under difficult circumstances, I cannot return home for another five months, unfortunately.

            I don’t want to pill up loads of bad new on you, but you should know that I am going to be sent into a dangerous mission to a village that I, myself hadn’t even been told yet. Anyway, I won’t be able to send or receive any letters after this one, I’m afraid.

            I know it’s a crappy present, but the pen is your Christmas present. I know it’s certainly not the best gift ever, but it’s the pen I use to write and reply to all of your precious letters. Also, I know its super early, but I won’t be able to send you anything for a while.

            So, I’m sorry for such early timing and my absence. But, all I ask of you, Little Sister, is that you take good care of Mom. She is getting worse and worse, remember to help her with even the smallest things, like bringing her water every few hours and her medicine.

            Anyway, merry Christmas, Lynn. (IT’S EARLY I KNOW, SORRY.)

                                                                                    Love,

                                                                                        Malvyn.”

 

Inside, she flipped the envelope over, something unfamiliar catching her eye.

            DUE TO INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY ERRORS, WE APOLOGISE FOR THE LATE DELIVERY OF YOUR LETTER. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. – INTERNATIONAL POST.

            Laelynn arrived on the fifth floor. Feeling numb, she unlocked their apartment door, surprised when she saw her frail mother sitting on the couch, leaning back against a pillow.

            “Laelynn, come now.”

            Dropping the letter and envelope on the counter, she hurried over to sit next to her mother. She stared into her sick mother’s tired face, feeling a pang of guilt as she suddenly realized she couldn’t remember her mother’s past healthy, beautiful face. All she remembered was her mother’s tired face, her dull sunken eyes, and deep creases in her forehead.

            “Laelynn….”

            She swallowed with difficulty, her palms becoming sweaty.

            Her mother’s voice was a gentle whisper. “Malvyn’s…. gone, isn’t he?”

            Laelnn’s heart was in as she fell into her mother’s arms, the tears that had not been shed yesterday now spilling endlessly down her cheeks.

            Wordlessly, her mother’s cold hands her brown hair slowly, as she had done when she was a child.

 

 

 It was almost midnight, the sky a dark, inky purple, a few tiny stars twinkling in the distance.

            Laelynn stared out her small window, her eyes following lone cars as they drove down the almost empty street, their headlights cutting through the murky darkness. She slipped her hand into her pocket, her fingers closing around the cool plastic pen.

            A tiny smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

            “Your present wasn’t too early.” She whispered softly. “It was right on time.”

            Swallowing, she held the pen tightly.

            “Merry Christmas, Malvyn.” She whispered into the night.