“ma’am, is this how you do this?” I show the paper to my host mom. She is cooking. She looks up to smile at me, “yes, dear. You’re doing well even though this is your first week in Korea”

I smile to her statement; she just said that I’m doing well with my Hangeul handwriting.

“Maylee-ah, please make yourself at home, you can call me ‘umma’ or ‘mom’. It’s okay” she taps my cheek two times before continues cooking.

I nod, “… hmm, thank you mom”

My host mom looks up and I can see her face lights up.

Hey people, my name is Maylee. No, I’m not Korean, I’m a mix of Chinese and White American. Just a week ago, I lived in Thailand. But my dad decided to move to America. I can honestly tell you that I don’t like that idea of his. I prefer to live in Hong Kong, or move to another country, any country but the US. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with American at all, and I can tell you how much I love being in the country of freedom which full of beautiful places. But, America reminds me to my mother; the one who gave birth to me.

I might sound really rude just now, but let me explain this to you. Mother and dad divorced when I was 8 months old. I don’t have any memory about her, I don’t know her. Everybody around me told me that mother is a figure that I shouldn’t know. Everyone told me that she’s selfish; she left her family for another man.

America reminds me of her, because all the photos we have show her figure in the states. She and my dad met when they both were study in the US. So, the old photos of her and dad are all taken in the states.

With dad decided to move back to the states, I totally against the idea. But he must go; it’s all work-related. So I came up with this idea.

”I want to be an ambassador like Ban Ki Moon, is it okay if I take an exchange program to South Korea?”

Dad was absolutely surprised by this. I mean like, he knows exactly that when I grow up I want to be an ambassador. But the idea about “going to South Korea and be like Ban Ki Moon” is totally random and he couldn’t process it. Just because Ban Ki Moon is a general secretary of UN and he is from South Korea, it doesn’t mean I have to go to South Korea to be an ambassador like him, or so that’s what dad said.

But I ran out of ideas about refusing to go with him to the Unites States. I didn’t want to tell him, “No, I don’t want to go to a country that reminds me of her”

My dad and I barely talked about mother. According to dad, I never liked any conversation that related to her, and he’s right about that.

So yeah, because of my stubborn personality and I insisted to go for exchange to South Korea, dad finally agreed.

Dad took care all of it. So here I am, in South Korea. To be exact, in Jeju Island.

My host family consists of a mother, a father, a sister, and a brother. Dad works in Seoul; I don’t really see him at the house. Both sister and brother are in Seoul also.

So it’s only me and my host mom in the house.

I feel like my life has been reversed. I used to live with dad, only dad. But here, I have mom. This is something new for me. That’s why I still feel awkward to call my host mom with “mom” or “umma”

And one problem here, I can’t speak Korean. I only know how to say ‘annyeong haseyo’ and introduce myself ‘cheneun Maylee imnida’. That’s all. But lucky me, my host mom is a linguist, she speaks English really well. Not to mention, she was a part of an international orchestra, she’s been traveled all over the world.

It’s been a week I’m in here, yet I’m still using English to talk with her. She helps me a lot in learning Korean though. She’s really caring. She’s super nice. She makes me feel the warmth of a mother that I never felt before.

Oh, almost forgot to tell you guys. My host family runs a home café. It’s really cozy and beautiful. Sometimes I help her in the café. The guests are nice; talking with them hopefully will help me to improve my Korean.

I never see my siblings; I only know them from photos. Both of them are really pretty, even my brother is pretty. Mom told me that my sister is studying design in college in Seoul and my brother is currently a trainee in one of the most famous music entertainment in South Korea. I never have any sibling, so I really wonder how it would feel to have siblings.

On my first day in South Korea, before my coordinator drove me to my host family’s house, my coordinator told me that my host bother is famous. I didn’t really care. I never really pay attention to Korean Hallyu or any boyband or girlband from Korea. So I don’t think I will have any problem with his fame. My coordinator told me that some school girls will visit the home café just to sneak a chance to meet my brother. But even me, I haven’t even met my brother yet, those fangirls can’t do anything about it either though. And I find that even though they are loud and sometimes noisy (they keep taking pictures of the café), they are really friendly and polite. Sometimes they talk to mom and mom positively responds them.

Today is weekend; the café will be opened around 11am. I peek a glance at the clock, it’s not even 9. I keep practicing Hangeul. Earphones are on my ears as I listen to Ben Bannister’s songs.

Mom sits on the chair across me; she brings a glass of milk. I take my earphones off as I thank her.

She smiles, “Maylee-ah, our driver just went to the airport to pick your brother up”

My eyes widen, “oh really? He’s coming home?”

“Yes, he and his friends are coming over to stay for a week. They’re on a break from the training”

I bite my bottom lips as I heard mom said that. He and his friends?

Mom realized my anxiety, “don’t worry, dear. They are really nice, I’m pretty sure you can get along with them”

“but..”

“as far as I know, they don’t have any experience with girl either, just like how you have no experience with boys, they must be as nervous as you!” she laughs.

Well, I’ve been spending my whole life studying in all-girls-school. So I never really have any male friend. Of course I’m nervous about my brother is coming, plus the fact that his friends, nail it people, plural, more than one, come along with him. I put this background of mine on my exchange student’s papers, that’s why mom understands.

Mom sighs; “I’ll protect you if they do anything weird to you” she winks

I can’t help but feel at ease when she said that. She’s the best.

-----

The next 20 minutes, I’m done memorizing the consonant in Hangeul. Then I hear mom stomps closer to me, “they’re here. Do you want to come with me to greet them?” she asks.

I nod and follow her towards the door. Suddenly the door yanks opened, “Umma!!” one cute boy opens the door in excitement but the stops right away when he saw mom.. and me beside mom.

“umma..?” now he quietly calls. Mom runs after him and hugs him. I gasp at the scene, would dad do the same to me ? it must be nice to have someone who’s waiting for you in patience. Brother hugs mom, he rubs mom’s back gently. I just stand there in my place.

His friends one by one enter the house noisily and bow at mom, mom greets them happily. I feel really awkward, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say.

Mom pulls me closer, “boys, this is our new family member. She’s a foreign exchange student from Thailand.” She explains in Korean. I only can guess what she said.

“she can’t speak Korean really well for now..” mom looks at me with her warm smile. “so, please take care of her and if you all don’t mind, please speak to her in English” now she speaks in English.

I bow in respect, they stare at me in anticipation.

“my name is Maylee from Thailand.” I bow again, introducing myself.

I look up; stand right in front of me, my so-called brother. He dresses really chic and cool. I saw him from photos before but he looks really different as I see him in person.

“hello, my name is Kim Jinhwan. Welcome to our family” he says with a fluent english after bowing. He smiles at me, his eyes make that crescent shape as he smiles. His soothing raspy voice is echoing in my ears.

I blink two times; I can feel butterflies in my stomach and my heart beats two times faster.

I’m trapped.