Warning: Huge amount of angst ahead. And character death. 

Sowie in advance. TT^TT

“Hyukkie, it’s time for dinner. Come on out and eat before it gets cold.”

The melody broke for a while and the scribbling of a pencil was heard. “One sec. I need to perfect this part. You can start first if you’re hungry; don’t wait up for me.”

Donghae sighed and sat down at the dining table where he’d set out the dinner dishes. The wonderful aroma from the food was wafting in the air and yet Donghae didn’t feel as hungry as he would have felt nearly six years ago. How long had it been since they last sat down and enjoyed a meal together? He couldn’t recall at all.

The wonderful melodies resumed in the music room, telling Donghae that Hyukjae was definitely nowhere near almost done. Ever since they converted the extra bedroom into a music room and moved in a baby grand piano, Hyukjae had been practically living in there, writing and composing his precious music. Sometimes that made Donghae feel rather jealous of the piano because his boyfriend used to spend as much time with him before they got that damn instrument. Now that he was nearly always cooped up in that room with more than enough space for one piano and one person, Donghae felt rather lonely as he went about doing the chores around the enormous apartment before and after work. At times he wouldn’t even get to catch a single glimpse of his boyfriend the whole day, no matter how many times he tried to get Hyukjae out of the room.

But he just couldn’t get used to it. Even though it’s already been three whole years since this routine started, Donghae couldn’t get used to not hugging, kissing or cuddling the other even a single time a day. It was already bad enough that he went to bed and woke up alone nearly every day; the only signs that Hyukjae had at least gone to bed for some time being the creased sheets on his side of the bed every morning. By the time Donghae woke up for work, Hyukjae would already be up, composing in the other room. When he came home from work, absolutely tired and wanting to just cuddle, Hyukjae would still be playing out little tunes and melodies, leaving the younger to just sigh and give up on the idea of snuggling at all that night.

What irked Donghae the most was that during the very rare times they made love together – the elder still had his and passionate moments – it would all very well be interrupted as soon as Hyukjae got a tune stuck in his head and just had to write it out before it disappeared. And that situation usually left Donghae annoyed, irritated and ually frustrated – he couldn’t even keep track of how many times he was left alone to finish himself off in the bathroom once the elder suddenly vanished out of the bedroom into the music room next door. He’d often cried himself to sleep just because of that.

Annoyed as he was, he had still tried being the patient boyfriend he could be, overlooking all of those faults and depressing thoughts that maybe Hyukjae wasn’t interested in him anymore, or that he was already replaced by a huge hunk of wood and metal, still staying faithfully by his side and telling himself that everything’s going to be alright; after all Hyukjae still loved him very much – but his work just had to come before his badly-deprived boyfriend.

Donghae sighed after waiting for ten minutes, his eyes sweeping over the shelves where Hyukjae proudly displayed his numerous awards and certificates, pausing at the largest award which had the words ‘Asia’s Best Music Performer (Piano)’ engraved into the base of it. That one award was what catapulted Hyukjae to where he was now; successfully selling his music for millions of won or simply earning zillions by agreeing to perform in concertos for one night. Yes, Hyukjae was a very famous and very sought-after pianist slash composer, and Donghae knew Hyukjae deserved everything he was earning now – after all he’d seen the huge amount of effort the elder had put into his work. But sometimes, just sometimes, Donghae wished Hyukjae could have also put the same amount of effort into making their relationship work out. They were dangerously drifting apart, and although Donghae still loved the elder very much, he was beginning to wonder if Hyukjae ever saw him as something else besides his personal maid, cook, cleaner, and occasional boyfriend.

Donghae could feel the tears welling up behind his eyes and hurriedly blinked them away. He’d already told himself how many times that it was perfectly fine; that one day Hyukjae would snap out it and finally pay him some attention he’d been craving for more than three years already. The younger cast one more glance at the cooling food on the table before walking towards the door to the music room. He’d spent so much time making all the food today – all the elder’s favourite dishes, hoping Hyukjae would at least be willing to spend some time with him during dinner; even if they didn’t talk, Donghae would be absolutely fine with it. He just wanted Hyukjae to acknowledge his presence. It wouldn’t matter even if Hyukjae didn’t want to listen to what he had to say.

He brought up a hand to gently knock at the door rather hesitantly. The tunes were still being played out on the piano, perhaps a little frustratedly, and Donghae knew that Hyukjae was not in a very good temper at the moment. Besides, he had probably forgotten about dinner again. However, Hyukjae absolutely hated being interrupted in the middle of writing down his music and Donghae never dared to step foot into the room when Hyukjae was struck by inspiration because nothing was more precious than him trying to catch the melody in his head – not even his heartbroken boyfriend, who learned to retreat from the room with an apologetic smile on his face, dodging the sheet music thrown his way before running away into their bedroom to cry his heart out. But this time he wanted Hyukjae to come out and eat, because for goodness sake he’d been living in that room for a week already without even coming out. For the past week Donghae had to be careful not to disturb Hyukjae while he pushed in a tray of food into the room during meal times, and also when he came back to collect the dirty plates after the elder had eaten, usually at least hours later. It just wasn’t healthy for him.

Mustering up his courage, Donghae grabbed the handle and opened the door, suddenly intimidated by the long silence that followed. “H-Hyukkie?” he breathed, daring to push open the door a little further and peeking in. He immediately flinched when a pencil landed squarely on his forehead and another at his feet, before Hyukjae slammed his fists into the piano keys, producing a loud and angry sound and flinging the papers into the air.

Donghae drew in a sharp intake of breath. Hyukjae was in one of his worst tempers right now and the younger quickly prepared himself mentally and emotionally for the string of insults and profanities that were sure to be making way to his head any time now.

“DAMMIT HAE!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO DISTURB ME WHEN I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING!!! IT’S GONE NOW AND I CAN’T GET IT BACK AGAIN!!!”

“I… I just wanted to – remind you about…”

“ABOUT WHAT???”

Donghae flinched again and cowered back when a balled-up piece of paper hit him on the chest. He bit on his lip and looked down at his feet, trying his best to hold the tears within him. Crying now would only aggravate Hyukjae’s anger and Donghae didn’t want to feel it physically as well.

“About… dinner. I… I hoped we could eat together today… T-there’s something I n-need to tell you b-but I guess you’re busy… I—I’m sorry, Hyukkie…”

“I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF COMPOSING AND YOU INTERRUPTED ME TO TELL ME SOMETHING AS STUPID AS THAT???” Hyukjae roared, not seeming to notice the two drops of moisture dripping to the floor where Donghae stood. “I TOLD YOU TO START WITHOUT ME IF YOU’RE HUNGRY!!”

“I’m sorry…”

“GET OUT!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!”

Donghae scrambled out of the room before Hyukjae could find some other things to throw at him that would probably hurt more than the paper balls or pencils. He remembered to shut the door quietly after him. Deciding to leave the food on the table just in case Hyukjae really did come out to eat, Donghae took off in the direction of his bedroom once again, ignoring the tiny rumble in his tummy telling him he hadn’t eaten yet. He’d just grab something later.

Sobbing uncontrollably, Donghae collapsed onto his fluffy mattress and sought out his plush toys hidden under the covers. He curled up into a human ball with the plushies tight in his arms, letting the tears just flow down his face and soak into his pillow.

Maybe Hyukjae really didn’t love him anymore.

~*~

“Oooh, what’s that sound?”

“What sound?”

A happy eight-year-old Donghae with wide eyes and a bright smile tugged excitedly at his friend’s arms, pointing towards where he thought the beautiful melody was coming from. “That sound!! It’s so pretty!!”

His friend listened attentively for a while before a smile curved up his lips, showing off his perfectly white teeth. “That’s a piano!! I know because Bummie plays it too!!”

“A piano?” Donghae asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. “What’s a piano, Wonnie?”

“Let’s go and see who’s playing!!”

Nodding, Donghae let himself be led down the hallway to the school’s music room by an overenthusiastic Siwon, giggling all the way. “What does it look like? Is it really big?”

“It’s big and black, and it’s got many, many white and black… uhh keys, I think that’s what Bummie calls them.”

“Keys?” Donghae asked, bewildered. “Is it locked? How do you make music with keys? Umma’s keys make a loud sound but I don’t like them. I like this one, though.”

Siwon shook his head. “No, not that kind of keys. It’s like, really, really long computer buttons with no words on it. Like Kyuhyun’s computer!! The one he plays Starcraft on?”

“I don’t understand, Wonnie…” Donghae pouted, yelping when Siwon stopped abruptly and he crashed right into him. “Ow!!”

“Shhh!!” Siwon hushed, placing a hand over Donghae’s mouth, blocking his nose as well. Donghae struggled to pull the big hand away and pouted again, looking at his friend who had a head stuck around the door to the room. Siwon looked as if he didn’t have a head and Donghae couldn’t help bursting out into small giggles again.

“Quiet, Hae. Look!! That’s a piano!!”

“Where?” Donghae nearly squealed, causing Siwon to clamp his mouth shut again. “Wonnie, I can’t breathe…!!”

“Over there, look!! Oh, it’s him!! He’s playing the piano!!”

“Who’s he? I’ve never seen him before. Is he new to our school?”

Siwon