Come on, Hae, you can do it… Just a little while more… That’s it… That’s it…

Ugh. Can’t hold it in anymore.

“Bwahahahaha!!!!”

“CUT!!”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!! I promise I’ll get it right this time!!”

* * *

Hyukjae handed Donghae a bottle of water and the actor downed it quickly in one go. He always drank when he was nervous, and he was nervous like crap right now, because it’s already been his fourteenth take and he still hadn’t got it right yet. Donghae could feel all the stress and tension on set especially after he ruined the last shot again, this time by chickening out. Damn those stupid giggles. Damn his stupid imagination. Damn everything. Even he was getting really frustrated with himself already.

He didn’t know why he kept ruining the shots by giggling or chickening out. It wasn’t even funny at all.

For starters, the crew was slightly mad at him, if not totally fuming at him. They’d already been at the set since the crack of dawn for the shoot and it was already well past lunch time right now. Many were grumbling because they were still stuck on this cursed take which pushed the rest of the shoot at least one day late.

Secondly, the director, who was usually a very patient and tolerant guy, actually left the site in rage after the ruined twelfth take. The director was never known to be angry with anyone and yet he was absolutely upset with Donghae’s performance right now.

Thirdly, Seung-ah was tired of repeating the exact same lines and actions over and over again. It was rather sweet of her to still smile encouragingly at Donghae but her smiles were getting more and more strained with each messed-up shot. At first she found it rather amusing and laughed along with her co-actor; however as each consecutive re-take progressed into the afternoon, she began to fall quiet. Every time he ruined it, she’d just sigh audibly, taking in his apologetic look before taking her place again at the door.

Worst of all, his boyfriend was watching his every action behind the scenes with him, and Donghae cursed at the horrible timing. Hyukjae had to pick the day when he’d be shooting multiple kiss scenes, and also when he became a blubbering and giggling mess on set. Hyukjae wasn’t exactly the most big-hearted person out there, and beneath the calm, controlled façade, Donghae knew that underneath, the elder was boiling in rage watching him kiss his female co-actress so many times since morning. Hyukjae’s clenched fists and gritted teeth only further served to prove him right.

That was part of the reason why he was now crouched over on the couch with an empty water bottle in his hands, not daring to look his boyfriend in the eyes. If anything, he was already feeling extremely guilty for making everyone do overtime; and now he also had to face a jealous and angry boyfriend in his dressing room (yes he has his own dressing room because he’s the freaking superstar).

When the anguished director yelled for a half-hour break just now, the first thing Donghae did was to cover his embarrassed face in his hands and run away from the set with his boyfriend trailing after him. Words couldn’t describe how he bad he was feeling right now. Why, of all the possible times and dates for filming, had Hyukjae chosen to visit him today? He knew his busy boyfriend probably requested a day off from work to purposely see him film, and it only made Donghae feel worse than before because he wasn’t performing up to par today. He felt Hyukjae didn’t deserve to see him kiss Seung-ah again and again, only to have him mess up again five seconds later.

As if to prove his point, Hyukjae never said anything to the younger throughout the shoot but only kept his quiet gaze on him. Now Donghae was surer than ever that Hyukjae was pissed, and rightly so; after all if only he’d managed to clear that kiss scene at the first try then he wouldn’t be having a predicament like this at all.

Five minutes passed without either one speaking to the other.

The silence was slowly killing Donghae.

How he wished the ground would just open up and swallow him whole.

A silent Hyukjae was worse than a yelling and nagging Hyukjae. It gave him the creeps.

Donghae hated the silence between them. He wanted Hyukjae to yell at him, scream at him, perhaps punish him maybe, or claim him on the lips (or anywhere else (Donghae was really desperate)) to remind him that he belonged to Hyukjae and Hyukjae only. He didn’t want this emotionless stone-faced man; he wanted Hyukjae. The man who would kiss him when he was happy, hug him when he was scared, cuddle with him when he was feeling lonely, and take him when he was feeling . This man, sitting in front of him right now, however, was not behaving like Hyukjae.

He was only like this when he was extremely jealous. (Donghae kind of learnt it the hard way during a photoshoot).

Tears began to gather in Donghae’s eyes. His lips quivered ever so slightly and he choked down a sob, because it felt like the whole world was mad at him for messing up and he couldn’t even run to his boyfriend for comfort this time around.

He hastily blinked back his tears when he felt wetness slipping down his cheeks. No way was he going to get into any more trouble with the makeup noonas for smudging his makeup. They were already mad enough at him. Definitely nobody ever expected this from him, a semi-professional actor who’d already starred in a couple of film and dramas. He was even surprised at himself. What was wrong with him today?

The empty bottle in his hands was suddenly snatched away. He looked up in surprise and saw that Hyukjae had scrunched up the feeble plastic, reducing the bottle into a useless balled-up piece of plastic now. He felt another wave of tears surging through his tear ducts, knowing well that Hyukjae was clearly very angry and jealous right now.

Hyukjae released the plastic ball and it dropped to the floor noisily.

“Lee Donghae.”

He flinched. Ever since they started going out three years ago Hyukjae had never called him by his full name. Hearing the now foreign name rolling off his tongue made Donghae squirm uncomfortably in his seat. He didn’t even know what to expect from him; this was the first time he’d seen Hyukjae so mad.

“Did you enjoy it?”

Donghae shook his head. Hyukjae was asking about the kisses, right? Of course he never enjoyed it. What could have possibly made his boyfriend think so? Just because he screwed up big time didn’t mean that he did them all on purpose just to be able to kiss Seung-ah again. She wasn’t as great a kisser as Hyukjae anyway (all the awkward NGs beforehand did all the explaining).

Hyukjae ran his finger through Donghae’s short, black hair, startling the younger very much. His fingers traced his scalp all the way to the bottom of his head, leaving a trail of goosebumps forming wherever he was touched. He suddenly grabbed hold of the locks and yanked Donghae’s head back, exposing his face to the elder. Donghae yelped and scrunched his face in pain.

“H-Hyukkie, it hurts…” he whined pa