Seokjin did make it to their eleventh year, seven years married. But three days later he was gone. They say the soul doesn’t leave the body until the body gets cold, so Nam Joon stayed there waiting. And when Seokjin’s hand felt like ice, he finally cried.

He walked up the steps of the cemetery. Americans only used simple plaques as their grave markers. But Nam Joon and Seokjin were Korean, so he bought a granite large marker with iron roses embedded in it.

Nam Joon’s mother paid for it. He was surprised when she showed up at the funeral, walked up to Seokjin’s parents, and said, “I’m sorry about your loss. I should have thanked Seokjin for taking care of my son.”

She spent all day at Seokjin’s grave before she left. She never told Nam Joon what she said, or why she changed her mind, or why it took her so long, she was too stubborn for that.

Maybe she forgave Seokjin a long time ago, before she found out he had cancer and before Jungkook ran away. Or maybe she never forgave him. Maybe her apology was a lie. She wouldn’t say.

On the day she left, she hugged Nam Joon and said, “Family can always heal a broken heart, you can stay with us for a while. If that’s what you want?”

Nam Joon remembered the Christmas where his family shunned Seokjin. Then he remembered four months ago, when Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung were at their apartment for game night. So he declined her offer. He’ll grieve with his own family.

Jungkook’s grades fell that quarter. Kookie had trouble walking in the morning those first few weeks. Nam Joon would lace the collar on her, but she would refuse to leave the apartment. She would look with sad eyes at the door to their bedroom. When Nam Joon realized she wasn’t moving, she unhooked her leash. She walked to the door, nudged it open, then whined on the empty bed. Jimin dove into long hours of his internship at the hospital, leaving his and Taehyung’s apartment empty. The first time Nam Joon answered the door for Taehyung, he burst into tears. He ended up sleeping on their bed, on Seokjin’s side, with Kookie curled on top of him. It took a lot of coaxing from Hoseok for him to stop moping in Nam Joon’s apartment. Though all he did was switch locations. He cried at Hoseok’s apartment.

It took months but one Wednesday, when Yoongi asked Nam Joon if he wanted to go to Tony’s he said yes.

Bad idea.

Hoseok and Jungkook had to fit them in the back of Hoseok’s car and take them home.

The next week, they left sober enough to call a cab.

And slowly, it got better.

Taehyung would come to the apartment to say hi, and leave without crying, though still red eyed. Jungkook was able to coax Kookie to go on her walks in the afternoon. And one day, one glorious day, he came back home covered in mud, “Because she saw a squirrel,” Jungkook smiled, “You should have seen her, she just took off. That er never knew what hit him.”

And Nam Joon smiled, because that was the first time he had seen Jungkook smile in almost a year.

Nam Joon missed Seokjin terribly, he refused to take off his wedding ring.

But eventually every couple didn’t remind him of the phrase “us.”

So here he was at the cemetery, on their wedding anniversary, because he promised Seokjin. And he was trying, he was getting there. It’s been two years, two years since Seokjin left. Sometimes, Nam Joon felt a familiar pressure on his arm, or woke up suddenly because he thought he felt fingers running through his hair. But the right side of the bed is cold, and he goes to sleep feeling miserable.

He wasn’t going to tell Seokjin about that. Seokjin should hear about happy things. So Nam Joon only told him about the good moments.

Nam Joon place the bouquet of daisies on his grave marker.

“Sorry I haven’t been here in a few weeks. I have a good reason, but that comes later. You should hear about everyone else first.

Taehyung and Hoseok are getting married in Hawaii next week. You would have loved Hoseok’s proposal. He had Jimin help him cover apartment in roses, and recited the speech from When Harry met Sally and everything.  Taehyung was crying so much, he couldn’t even say yes, he just tackled Hoseok to the ground. You would be proud of them.

Jungkook graduates next week, he’s got a job lined up, and even a girlfriend. She was one of Jimin’s patients, a gymnast, who flipped Jungkook on the ground when they first met. You should have seen his face, he was in love before he even hit the ground.

Jimin works at Denver hospital now. He likes it. He gets a lot of those professional bike racers as patients. Most of them don’t speak English, but they do what they can.

Yoongi’s been with his girl for a year and a half. I think he’s probably going to stay with this one. I know, Yoongi  settling down, who would have predicted that? But he’s tired of his mom’s nagging and she’s pretty, very pretty. And Korean, so his mom’s happy. And she’s a great cook so he’s happy. It’s nice.”

Nam Joon placed a framed photo next to the flowers. It was a picture of Kookie at the salt flats in Bolivia. “I went to South America, took that trip we planned on doing. Do you know how hard it was to take Kookie with me? Do you know how many shots she had to get? She was a good sport though. Her favorite place was the butterflies in Mexico, I had to hold her down so she wouldn’t eat them,” he laughed, “She was real quiet at the salt flats, and sat patiently while I took photos of her. You were right, it looked like she was floating in the sky.”

Nam Joon swallowed, his eyes were red, “I think she knew. She knew that you were there, watching us and smiling. You would have loved it.

Kookie misses you. I miss you.”

I love you.

AN: Yay! the whole thing is uploaded!

- 37 page, 14.4 k words, this was way longer than expected and a lot sadder too, I apologize for tears.

- Thank you so much for reading this ^_^

- (Now on to shorter and happier things)