In one room sat Junghwan, wondering if he would dare to make a call. In another room roughly a kilometre away sat Sunwoo, wondering if the phone would ring. A few clicks away, a fifteen minute walk.

It was five in the afternoon already, snowing heavily outside. Before six Junghwan would call he had promised himself. He still had one hour left. Plenty of time. He might as well make some tea. Yes, that was it. He would drink another cup of tea, and then he’d make the call, well within his self-set deadline.

When he could no longer keep drinking miniscule sips of tea but had downed the last cold mouthful, he decided that if he was going out, he should probably take a shower first. He didn’t rush, but stood for a long time and just let the warm water pour over him, relax and warm him from the outside in. When he got out at ten past six, he didn’t hurry to make the call. He just shrugged. Oh well, he missed the deadline, no big deal.

But seven. Before seven he’d call.

Dark was slowly falling. Sunwoo checked his phone for missed calls once again. Just to make sure he hadn’t missed one, while he was looking away out the window for a second. But he wasn’t really waiting for Junghwan to call. No, he just felt like staying in today. Staying in and not doing anything. He might as well just make sure, because if Junghwan did call, it’d be rude not to pick up. That wasn’t the reason he was sitting here though.

What was the worst that could happen? Sunwoo could not pick up. Fine, then nothing would be any different. Sunwoo could already be out doing something else. Ok, that wouldn’t be unexpected, he’d already said he had a party to go to.

But Sunwoo could also be in, and he could invite Junghwan over just because he had to. He was the one who had said he should give him a call, probably not thinking he actually would. He had probably just said it out of politeness, but if Junghwan did call now he might feel obliged to ask Junghwan to come over. And Junghwan would love to come, and he’d love to be there, but he’d be unwanted. Junghwan could take rejection, but he wouldn’t be able to turn down an invitation even if it was one made purely of good manners.

Sunwoo pulled out a photo album from underneath his bed. He had planned to give it to Junghwan as a Christmas gift. He knew the chances were slim, he’d said he had plans, but he thought it’d be nice. It wasn’t anything big anyway, just photos of them he’d collected from home. He started flipping through the pages. Junghwan and him in matching overalls, standing proudly on each side of a lumpy snowman. Junghwan and him on the beach, sand sticking to their sunscreen covered skin. Junghwan and him with his arms around each other, smiling at the camera, head tilted together. Sunwoo felt his eyes tearing. What had happened? How had everything fallen apart so quickly after such a long time?

They were like magnets. The closer they were, the stronger the force that pulled them together. They had used all their power last year not to fall together completely, or at least not to be the one to fall. And so, it had tipped over and they had instead sprung apart. Now they were far enough not to move, to sit securely in place. But they both knew, that if they moves as much as an inch closer they wouldn’t stop and they’d helplessly stick to the other. And oh god, how badly they wanted to do so. Had they just known they weren’t the only one feeling that way, they would’ve. But they didn’t.

No one wants to be a burden.

His heart pounded, his eyes swam. He stared at Sunwoo’s name in the contact list and so, quickly as if to come before himself, pressed the little green phone icon. One signal went though. It was too late to back out now.

Sunwoo jumped halfway off his bed when his phone rang. He forced himself to take a deep breath, let it ring twice, before picking it up.

‘Hello?’

‘Hi…’

It was silent, they could hear each other breathing shallowly at the other end of the line.

‘Are you… can I come over?’

In opposite to all the force it takes to pull magnets apart, it just takes a small push to make them snap right back together.

They looked at each other, Junghwan’s hair still filled with melting snow. They looked, and they both started laughing. It was so silly, this push and pull and constant struggle not to fall. They laughed, and they fell.

‘Are you cold? It looks like there’s a half blizzard out there.’

‘Only my hands,’ Junghwan smirked, stepping closer and sneaking his cold hands around Sunwoo and under his sweater. And Sunwoo let him, because it was Junghwan. So they fell, fell back and beyond and in to each other, and stuck together with no chance of ever being able to tear apart.

It’s funny how we think we could stay away and stay separate, when all we do is think of being together. How could you not fall, when everything in life is set up to make you slip?