“Jessi…”
 
“….”
 
A nudge.
 
“Jessi…”
 
“….hm?” a lazy yawn.
 
“There are times when I look at you and I think to myself…”
 
silence.
 
“… never-mind”
 
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
 
Jessica sat up, slightly irritated. It was one of her pet peeves to hear a conversation end with a “never-mind”. She never understood why the word even exists in the English dictionary. How meaningless it was, to lure someone into a conversation, to catch their attention, and then slap them in a face with a short, insincere, “oh, never-mind”.
 
“Oh nothing.. It’s not like it’s relevant to what we were talking about anyway”
 
“nothing” - gosh, she despised that word just as much. Nothing never meant Nothing.
 
“….Tiffany… we weren’t even talking.”
 
“I like lying here on the couch with you… I like our friendship”.
 
So typical of Tiffany… to end a thought with a new thought. She could never settle on one thing to talk about.
 
“tell me…” Jessica sighed.
 
“hmmm?”
 
“the never-mind. Never-mind what?”
 
“well.. uh… I was just thinking…” she fiddled with her fingers.
 
"if I were a guy and asked you out on a date, you would probably reject me the same way you put down the other boys. I’m like, your sweetest best friend. And that makes me kind of sad knowing you probably have no feelings for anyone, probably not even someone close to you. You know what some people call you?" she took a deep breath, 
 
"The Relationship Terminator. That's what they call you, Jessi! How does that even make sense! You’ve never even dated anyone! It’s like they’re already jinxing all your future relationships when you haven’t even taken the first step! It’s like they’re saying you can’t commit and you can’t love anyone!”
 
“……”
 
Tiffany sighed.
 
“Aren’t you lonely, Jessi? Don’t you want someone to be by your side? To protect you, listen to you, love you?”
 
“I….” Jessica muttered.
 
The loud voice turned silent. Big puppy eyes suddenly stared into hers, expecting her to say something explosive.
 
“I shouldn’t have asked.” Short and straight to the point.  That was Jessica.
 
“Jessi, you know you can tell me anything right? I won’t judge.” Tiffany softly smiled at the brunette.
 
“What do you want to know?”
 
“Anything! Like oh my gosh.. you can tell me anything. Trust me.”
 
silence.
 
“jessi, just let me in… please? I care about you.” she pouted.
 
Tiffany, Tiffany.
 
Half the time, the things that came out of never really made sense. In fact, they were mostly just thoughtless, random phrases she would blurt out just to continue the conversation. Nonetheless, to Jessica, Tiffany was special. She accepted her unique traits. Tiffany's loud voice, her overly honest attitude, and sometimes even the way she complained. Over the years, Jessica, though too timid to admit, had somewhat developed a small crush on her best friend. She wouldn't call it love. No, not quite there. Yet she had found everything about Tiffany to be so annoyingly… charming. She couldn’t quite put her finger on how she felt for the younger girl. But she definitely saw Tiffany as more than just a friend.
 
She decided to take a leap of faith.
 
“fine.” Jessica stared into the brown, glossy orbs.
 
a pause. She leaned closer.
 
“I’m gay.” she whispered.
 
The pout on Tiffany’s face disappeared and was replaced by a frown.
 
“oh”.