http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO1F4492tE8 (song used for show)

Changmin swayed from side to side as he listened to Jinwoon finish his part of the song. He scanned the crowd and found the face he had been waiting for up in the balcony seats. As he opened mouth to sing he sang directly to that face; looking that person in the eyes and pouring out every part of him in the lyrics. As tears fell from his eyes the audience went wild and cheered at the performance. It wasn't a performance for him though. For him it was very real.

She couldn't take it anymore. Her eyes stared back into Changmin's as he sang to her and when the tears began to fall she looked away. She got up out of her seat as the fans screamed and walked out of the arena. It had been 4 months since she had seen 2AM perform live; since she had seen Changmin and heard his voice. It had been 4 months since their break up, unknown to the world just as their relationship had been. The only ones that knew were his parents, the members of 2AM and JYP himself.

 

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The concert came to a finish and the group hurried backstage to change and go home to rest. Normally there was a sense of accomplishment after a show, but that night Jinwoon, Jokwon, and Seulong kept quiet as they watched Changmin charge into the dressing room. Full of frustration he ripped of his suit from their final stage and exposed his built torso to the cold air.  He began to dig through pile of clothes on the floor to find his t shirt.

 

"Dammit this room's a mess." He grunted as he kicked the nearest pile. He looked down only to notice that his shirt was under his foot. "Dammit," he muttered again

 

The other members undressed slowly and made sure to stay out of his way. Changmin finished dressing and walked out of the room to wait in the car. The others sighed in relief when the tension left the air.

 

"What's wrong with him?" Seulong asked as he put on his sweater.

 

"You didn't notice where he was looking when he cried? She was here." JoKwon dusted off his shoes andg grabbed his bag to head to the car. Jinwoon and Seulong followed after with a look of confirmation. They all knew the "she" that their leader referred to.

 

They found Changmin asleep and decided to leave him be. As they drifted off into sleep themselves the car sped through the streets of Seoul and Changmin's eyes opened and watched the street lights flash by. He regretted calling her home. Her roommate had answered and he has asked her to not tell _________ about him calling. It was their first concert for their new promotions and something had possessed him to call. He knew she would find out; and he felt she would be at the show. 

 

As the blurred visions came to a stop at the light Changmin noticed the home they had stopped in front of. He should have asked the driver to take another route; any other besides the one that led by her home. The light was about to change when he noticed a familiar dog standing out in the bitter winter air. The light changed and the driver jolted the car forward.

 

"Wait!" Changmin yelped. Quickly he got out of the car and ran across the street. The small corgi shivered in the cold to the point where it seemed more like a chihuahua. It's face lit up at the sight of the familiar face that use to frequent the home. "Dubu what are you doing out here? It's freezing!" He took off a sweater and wrapped the dog up. He heard the car horn honk nearby. "Go on, I'll get home later!" With that the car continued on.

 

"Have you missed me Dubu? I'm sorry but I hope you understand that your mom and I aren't together anymore. I miss you; the both of you."

 

"Changmin? Dubu?" Her voice rang out from down the street. Changmin rose from the ground with Dubu in his arms. She ran towards them and her breath came in rapid short puffs. "What are you doing out here in the cold?"

 

"_________, hi." It was all he could manage to say.

 

"Hi...umm-"

 

"Why did you come tonight?" He couldn't help it. His brain was telling him to just hand her the dog and leave but his mouth was working on it's own.

 

"I, I just, I don't know really. I just wanted to see you I guess. You're voice has always sounded so much better live than on the radio."

He didn't know what to say to that. His wanted to grab her right then and there. To hold her and tell her that he missed her just as much if not more. He wanted to tell her that he missed the sound of her voice as well. The voice that wasn't from an angel but when she sang along to his songs his ears heard nothing but sweetness. The words would not come out. All he could do was stand there, holding Dubu, and staring down at her.

 

"Changmin..."

 

"Here, I found him outside he must have squirmed out of a window or something. I should go now." He handed her the pup and turned to leave.

 

"Changmin wait! Please," She spoke to his broad back," it's cold. You can't just leave like that. Don't you... don't you want to come inside?" She walked towards him. He could feel her presence behind him and his body stiffened. "Please?" Her hand reached out to his.

 

The touch of her skin made him feel weak. Everything he built up to be immune to it was shattered with a simple gesture. As she pulled him inside, he had not strength to fight it. He felt as if it were a dream and he was floating rather than walking. He looked around and saw that the inside of her home hadn't changed at all. Four months had gone by and the framed photos from dates and trips together still hung in their original place. Her album collection sat proudly on her shelves; the most recent 2AM album released just last week was right in the front.

He wandered to the living room and something in him finally clicked. At the sight of his old jacket spread out on the couch he finally mustered the courage to ask what he's wanted to know all along. "Why did we do it?"

 

She stopped in her tracks. "Why did we break up when all I see here is how happy we were?" He continued.

 

"Because it all started wrong. Our relationship came at a bad time when you were starting to gain popularity. We were never together and it was just... doomed." She looked at the photos that he saw but her view was different.

 

To him they were several beautiful moments, but to her they were brief seconds of illusion that they could spend together before he had to disappear again.

 

"Doomed?" He questioned. "If you were so sure it was doomed then why did you agree to date me in the first place? Why did you let it get so far?" He turned to look at her and just as it was during his performance; she couldn't take his stare.

 

"Why did you come here then?"

 

"What?"

 

"Why did you call this house? Why were you outside my door?"

 

"I told you, you're dog was outside."

 

"That doesn't answer the first question. Plus, you could have just called a neighbor and kept going. You missed me. You missed me just as much as I missed you. You missed me Lee Changmin, you missed me because you love me. And that love is what made me date you regardless of what my brain was telling me. But that love only works if it's nurtured with it's partner, if both lovers have time together. Time that we almost never had."

 

"So you're blaming me?"

 

"No Changmin," She sighed and approached him once more. "I'm blaming the both of us. I'm blaming our stupid timing. I didn't break up with you Changmin, we both just drifted apart."

 

"But it's pointless. No matter how far I get from you a part of me is always with you. It's stuck and the further I get the more it feels like my body is being torn in half. I know we agreed, but I never truly wanted to. I was scared. Scared that this is what you wanted; that you didn't love me anymore. I didn't want to tie you to me." His entire body was shaking as she came closer. She took his face into her hands and lifted it up so it was no longer staring at the floor. His hands reached up and enveloped hers. They stood there like that for some time before she spoke.

 

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for making you think I wanted to leave you. I didn't want you to regret having me. I'd rather leave then be left later. I was a coward that wanted to avoid the pain. But, it was worse pain living each day without you. Those few moments that we did have together, our jokes and presents; remembering all of that made me feel worse than any other experience. I'm sorry oppa, I'm so so sorry." At the sound of her voice calling him oppa he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

 

With tears flowing from both of their eyes he moved swiftly and took her lips with his own. Every moment of doubt and fear that they had in those four months, every bit of passionate love that was building up without any release poured out in that one kiss. When they broke apart he looked at her tear streaked face and wiped it clean. "If we're doomed then let's keep going until the end. Don't try to runaway or hide from me anymore; stay with me till the very last bit of our love runs dry." He waited for her response.

 

"Okay, we'll go till the end, whenever that may be." She smiled a smile that hadn't graced her lips in months and he returned it. "I love you oppa."

 

"I love you too." Those words affirmed their unity and even if the future is unexpected and full of surprises; the present was full of the only thing they needed: each other.