It was a rare day, because it was a free day for all of them. Everyone was excited, because it was a day they could relax, could do whatever they wanted to do.

 

In the evening a day before, Suho gathered all members into his room, which he shared with Jongin and Chen.

 

Kyungsoo was terribly exhausted, he wasn't able to sleep much in the last few days. He wanted to be in his own room, to read something or just to take a rest. But when Suho called, he had to answer the call of duty.

 

When Kyungsoo opened the door, he saw that all members already gathered. When Suho saw him, he brightly smiled at Kyungsoo. Everyone was exhausted because of the promotions of the last weeks, how was Suho able to smile like this nonetheless?

 

“Sit down, Soo”, Suho pointed to the chair in front of his desk.

Once Kyungsoo sat down, the leader started to speak.

“Everyone... could you please listen... Tao please sit down and put your mirror aside for a while”.

Tao did as told and sat down on Chen's bed next to Sehun.

“Hey Sehunnie, don't you think my cheeks look kinda weird?”

“What are you talking about, Hyung? It's not just your cheeks looking weird, your whole face looks weird.”

Tao's face turned pale, he wanted to strike back, but Suho interrupted.

“Please stop, you two. And listen.”

 

Kyungsoo watched the two maknae with interest, he had to grin broadly. Sehun surely had a sharp tongue, and he even didn't keep back from his Hyungs. This sharp tongue often got many people angry, they said Sehun was disrespectful or conceited, but Kyungsoo really liked it. He liked the matter of fact, that Sehun was cunning and witty. Sehun didn't hold back advancing his opinion, even though he was harsh sometimes.

 

Kyungsoo appreciated Sehun's outspokenness, likewise his straightforwardness. He thought of their appearance on sukira in august. Baekhyun accused Sehun of dipping his mandu into the soy sauce, so that the sauce spilled over to the other mandu.

Sehun's response was: “I'm sorry. I should die for my sins. I'm sorry.”

 

Kyungsoo had to laugh about this, like always when Sehun said something cynical or provocative.

“What's so funny, Soo?”, startled, Kyungsoo looked at Suho who gave him a warm smile. Sehun was looking at him too, just like he knew that Kyungsoo thought about him. Kyungsoo's cheeks turned a light pink, “What did you want to say, Suho shi?”.

“Oh right, about tomorrow...”

 

Kyungsoo was glad that Suho's attention shifted to the group. But Kyungsoo still could feel Sehun's gaze on him, but he didn't dare to look back.

“I wanted to ask you what you want to do tomorrow, perhaps we could go somewhere together”, Suho continued, “I wanted to go to the shopping center, anyone who wants to come with me?”

Kris, Chen and Tao raised their hand.

“Sehunnie, Lay Hyung and me, we will go to the arcades”, Jongin said.

“Minsoek and I, we go to play soccer”, Luhan looked at Minsoek, asking for confirmation.

“Chanyeol and I, we wanted to go to the cinema, I really wanted to see this movie “Gravity””, Baekhyun said.

“Well we all have different plans then...”, Suho seemed in thoughts, “What about you, Kyungsoo? Let's go shopping together.”

“No, you can go without me, Hyung. I'll stay at home and rest.”

Suho seemed disappointed, but he didn't say anything.

“Okay, even though we have different plans at day, we could meet at the dorms in the evening and do something together”, Kris said, “We could order Pizza and watch a movie together or something.”

“That's a great idea!”, Suho sounded proud, just like it was his own idea, “We will meet at 8 in the evening then.”

 

Everyone nodded and agreed.

 

“Well then, you all should hurry and go to bed, it's late already. Take a good rest.”

Suho dismissed everyone, Tao and Luhan ran out of the room and raced to the bathroom. Tao wined, Luhan won the race.

 

One by one, they all left the room, Kyungsoo stood up slowly, his legs ached.

“Hyung?”

Kyungsoo startled, he looked up.

“Yes?”

“Are you sure you want to stay home tomorrow? Perhaps you should go outside and get some fresh air.”

Kyungsoo wasn't sure why, but he just understood around the half what Sehun said. He was somehow... distracted. Distracted to refrain from staring at Sehun's mouth. Since when did he even stare?

“Come with us to the arcades, it will be fun.”

Sehun and his look of expectancy...

“No, no...I...”, Kyungsoo's voice faltered, “You guys can go, I want to take a rest.”

“Are you sure, Hyung?”

Did Kyungsoo hear pleading in Sehun's voice? It surely was just his imagination.

“Yes. You go and have fun.”

 

Kyungsoo tried to smile, but it surely looked like a lopsided sneer.

“Okay then. But make sure to cook something delicious for all of us!”.

Before Kyungsoo could talk back, Sehun vanished out of the room.

“He indeed is a little bit conceited”, Kyungsoo thought, “But this makes him this interesting.”

“Sleep well, Soo”, Kyungsoo turned around to Suho.

“You too, Hyung.”

He left the room and missed Suho's sad eyes, which were following Kyungsoo.

 

* * * * * * 

 

The next morning, Kyungsoo could hear noises in the living room and in the kitchen, he also heard Lay and Luhan, getting ready to leave. Kyungsoo took a look at his alarm clock, it was 8 in the morning...

 

Kyungsoo turned around, pulled his blanket under his chin, heartily glad that he could at least nap for the next two hours. He immediately fell asleep again and woke up around two hours later. Kyungsoo heard noises out of the bathroom, but who could it be, all the others left the dorm a while ago?

 

Kyungsoo sat up and went to the direction of the noises. He heard the water running in the bathroom. “Who yould it be?”, Kyungsoo thought, he felt uneasy. Slowly he drew closer to the bathroom door, in his head he thought about the defense and attack tactics he has learnt during high school. “Was it a burglar, who took a shower after his raid?”

Okay, this was ridiculous, but Kyungsoo wondered who this person was.

He teared open the door and he saw...

 

Sehun's back through all the steam. Sehun's... back and his likewise backside. Immediately, Kyungsoo felt how the blood rushed into his head, he turned red and he caught himself staring... staring at Sehun's behind.

Sehun didn't seem to be taken aback at all, he halfway turned to Kyungsoo, a washcloth in his hand.

“Hyung?”

Kyungsoo lifted his head straightaway and saw Sehun's questioning look. He pleadingly hoped that the maknae didn't see him staring.

“What... why... why are you... where is the shower curtain?”

Kyungsoo attempted to form coherent sentences and to not look downwards to Sehun's...

To his horror, Sehun completely turned around.

“Hyung, you act like you never saw a man in your whole life.”

 

Kyungsoo averted his gaze, he didn't trust himself and he didn't want to take a risk. He surely did see man before, his father and his brother when they visited the sauna together. And he saw Jongin, who sometimes didn't bother to lock the door while taking a shower. Just like Sehun right now. But Kyungsoo never felt such a desire to look at someone, he never thought of someone as... beautiful.

But Sehun was beautiful. His skin was pale and flawless, his back was gorgeous. His shoulder blades looked like wings and...

 

“Hyung, you look like a little blushing school girl from a shojo manga.”

Sehun started laughing and went on showering like nothing happened.

“How should I know? I don't read shojo manga, like you!”.

Kyungsoo's gaze was challenging, but then he remembered that Sehun couldn't see him, so he stormed out of the bathroom, but not without casting a look at Sehun.

“Oh really? What about the fruits basket manga in your book shelf?”, the mischievous maknae shouted. Kyungsoo could hear him laughing.

 

 

“What just happened??”, Kyungsoo panicked and walked up and down his room. Why did he had to stare to such an extent? Why did he... like it so much? Kyungsoo tried to shook off his thoughts, he was tired, that's it. He tried to calm down, but then he heard how Sehun turned off the water. That meant Sehun finished showering, he would leave the bathroom soon and he surely would come to find Kyungsoo to confront him. He panicked again, should he leave the house? Kyungsoo pondered how he could avoid Sehun for the next few years. He was ashamed, how could he face Sehun?

Sehun surely saw him staring, heard him stutter... perhaps he should run out of the dorm in his pajamas, he could...

Someone knocked on the door and opened it, without waiting for an answer.

“Hyung?”

It was Sehun, his blond, wet hair covered half of his face. He wore black sweatpants and a loose tee shirt. Even without makeup and without styling Sehun was... gorgeous, Kyungsoo thought.

 

To cover up his embarrassment, Kyungsoo snarled at him, “Why do you even bother knocking on a door? You never wait for an answer, you just barge in! What if I was busy?” Kyungsoo was ashamed and abashed, he tried to cover it with anger, he wasn't even feeling.

He never was angry at Sehun. Whatever Sehun got up to, Kyungsoo forgave him in an instant.

 

“Like being ?”, Sehun tried to dry his hair with his towel. Kyungsoo saw his mischievous smirk.

“Wha.. what?”

Kyungsoo's cheeks went red again, he thought about what he saw earlier. He didn't see Sehun coming closer.

“You asked me why I knock and open the door without waiting for an answer. Well. You didn't even knock on the door. And I was busy AND !”

Sehun approached Kyungsoo further. Kyungsoo's heart pounded faster and faster in his chest.

“It's not the same! You could have lock the door! Why are you even here? Why aren't you at the arcades with Jongin and Lay Hyung? And what happened to the shower curtain?”

Kyungsoo tried to create a safety gap. He was relieved when Sehun sat down on Kyungsoo's bed.

 

“I don't feel really well today, the others went without me.” He crossed his legs, a movement Kyungsoo thought was really attracting.

Sehun's leg were long and lean, well toned and almost perfect... Kyungsoo tried to shook off these thoughts.

 

“This morning, Chanyeol wanted to shower, right after Suho Hyung, he nearly slipped on the wet floor”, Sehun continued, “This idiot grabbed the shower curtain and yanked it off. To answer your question about the missing shower curtain.”

“Chanyeol Hyung is your Hyung too, so please call him like that. Even though you are right about him being an idiot...”

“I just call people I respect Hyung”, Sehun answered.

“But you do call me...”, Kyungsoo wanted to saw something, but then he panicked again because Sehun stood up and came closer to him.

“Well then, that says it all, right?”.

Sehun smirked, then he turned around and left the room.

“I am sick and I am hungry, make me some food!”.

Kyungsoo didn't know how to react. He was proud and flattered that Sehun respected him, but he still was ashamed. Sehun had to notice his stutter and his struggle for words. However, Sehun didn't mention the incident in the bathroom, he even did not ask any questions.

Kyungsoo would have a lot of time to think about that, but first a hungry maknae and his own hungry stomach asked for food.

 

* * * * * *

 

“Hyung, I want to eat pancakes.” Sehun sometimes acted like a little kid. Kyungsoo didn't think it was endearing, absolutely not. Kyungsoo didn't turn around to him, he knew that Sehun was pouting and he couldn't put up with that.

“Sometimes we don't get the things we want, Sehunnie.”, Kyungsoo said and searched for eggs and flour. Just when Kyungsoo wanted to open the door to the fridge, Sehun jumped up from his seat and run to the fridge.

“Take the milk from the front, it's fresher.”

Sehun grabbed the same milk carton like Kyungsoo, who immediately retreated his hand and backed. He touched Sehun many time, but today...

 

“What's wrong with you? I said I am sick, I didn't say I have a disease.”

Sehun looked confused and... somehow hurt. Kyungsoo took the milk Sehun was holding out. He tried his best not to touch Sehun's finger.

“You surely are spoiled, maknae.”

Kyungsoo attended to his cooking and tried to look busier than he actually was.

 

“Don't you think that everyone wants to be spoiled by someone he likes? Don't you feel as something special then? Noted and loved?”

Kyungsoo was taken aback. Sehun didn't say much and mostly he said something sarcastic or stupid (even though it was funny). It surprised Kyungsoo to hear something with such dept. He turned around to him and d for words... unsuccessfully. Sehun seemed to notice because he sat back down on his chair. He took his manga and continued to read. Kyungsoo saw that it was one of his manga, but he pretended not to see and let Sehun continue to read the 5^th volume of fruits basket.

 

* * * * * *

 

To cook and to bake were only a few hobbies from Kyungsoo, but it calmed him down when he could mix different ingredients together. He could modify the ingredients, he could bring forward his own ideas and create something delicious. But today, everything seemed to be different. Kyungsoo thought of 1000 different things, he couldn't concentrate. What was the matter with him?

 

Behind him, Sehun still sat down on his chair reading his manga. Kyungsoo could hear every noise he made, even the tiny ones, like the flipping of pages. Kyungsoo didn't understand his own thoughts and feelings. It never happened to him before, what happened to him to react like this?

“What happened to you to react like this?”

Kyungsoo didn't reckon Sehun to say something. He turned around to him.

“Wha... what?”

“Hyung, you lately kinda act weird.”

“I don't!”, Kyungsoo's voice was unnecessarily dramatic.

“This is exactly what I meant”, Sehun put his manga aside, “you act weird, but just when I am around. Did I do or say something wrong? I know I may be rude sometimes, but I don't mean it. At least not to you.”

“No... I... I am just exhausted and tense.”

“I massage you, Hyung. Should I...?”

“NO!”, Kyungsoo didn't indent to scream, but he did. “No, it... isn't necessary. Ehm, your pancakes are done.”

Sehun looked at him skeptically.

“Thank you, Hyung.”

“You are welcome, brat.”

 

While eating the pancakes, they didn't even exchange words. Sehun was typing something into his phone. Kyungsoo wondered who he was writing. He dwelt on his thoughts for a while, then he raised his head and saw Sehun staring at him. His hair was dry by now and stuck out in all directions.

How could someone be this handsome? Sehun's skin looked much healthier than Kyungsoo's, much softer and without any flaws. Just on his right cheek he had a scar, which Kyungsoo really liked. Sehun has nice eyebrows, a pretty nose... Kyungsoo's gaze wandered down to Sehun's lips. They were the exact opposite of Kyungsoo's lips: narrow, but of a wonderful pink color. Kyungsoo thought how it would be like...

 

“Is there something on my face?” Sehun spoke with a half pancake in his mouth.

“You should chew before speaking. You should be able to see yourself...”

“Sometimes I am not sure if you are my Hyung or my mother.”

Sehun pouted and paid attention to his phone again.

“By the way, greetings from my mother. She wrote me, we should go and visit her again.”

Kyungsoo was relieved, so he was texting with his mother. Kyungsoo was afraid that... Actually Kyungsoo wasn't sure what he was afraid of...

 

“My mother treats you more like a son than me”, Sehun murmured, “She wrote, you should go and visit her on your own, if I wasn't free. You two could bake the cake you made for her for her last birthday.”

Sehun grimaced and unnecessarily pounded on his phone. “Pff, even though I can't make a cake... I still can eat it.”

Kyungsoo still stared at Sehun. He really liked it when the other ate, but he loved the way he spoke. They way he moved his mouth, that he his lips every few seconds... Kyungsoo could look at him the whole day.

 

“You are staring.” Sehun raised his head at looked at Kyungsoo, seemingly knowing, scruntinzing. “You surely wonder how my parents could create such a handsome son, right?”

“No”, Kyungsoo answered, “I wondered about your scar. What happened?”

“Unfortunately, it isn't a x-shaped scar, I could have cosplayed Kenshin”, Sehun started to laugh and Kyungsoo wondered if Sehun stole this manga from him too. He surely did.

 

“It happened when I was a kid. My older brother and I went to the playground, I was 5, my bother was 8. We played together, another kid wanted to play with my brother, but not with me, so me brother said no. Well, this kid got angry, pushed me and I fell down with my face on the ground. That's it.” Sehun shrugged.

“Kids can be cruel sometimes”, Kyungsoo dwelt in his thoughts. He thought of his own childhood, he thought of teasing, of tears.

“Yes and adults are cruel all the time”, Sehun answered.

 

And then Kyungsoo felt proud again, like every time Sehun said something that warmed his heart. Or something with such dept and experience, usually a 19-year old didn't possess.

 

“This kid”, Sehun continued, “was in the parallel class of my brother. They went swimming with all classes one day. My brother stole his clothes, he was sent home in his way too small swimming trunks.” Sehun burst into laughter, his laugh tightened Kyungsoo's chest. He wanted to take this laugh, put it into a jar and keep it my himself. Whenever he was sad, he could open the jar, hear the laugh and feel better instantly.

 

“You still have some pancakes left.” Kyungsoo looked at Sehun, he thought about buying a jar.

“You can have them, brat.”

Kyungsoo put the pancakes on Sehun's plate, he immediately stuffed them into his mouth. Kyungsoo leaned back, contented.

“They are delicious, you are the perfect housewive.”

“You should marry a woman, who can cook as good as I do.” Kyungsoo waited for Sehun's reaction, but he just looked at him, emotionless.

“Yes, I should do that, Hyung.”

 

Kyungsoo was disappointed and sad. His statement was intentionally provocative, but he didn't want to hear such an answer.

 

“I'll do the dishes, you cooked.”

“Okay, I'll go to my room then and take a rest.” Kyungsoo stood up and put his plate into the sink.

“You are going?? I thought we could... together...”

“I am really tired.” Kyungsoo left Sehun standing alone in the kitchen.

 

Once he was in his room, Kyungsoo collapsed on his bed. What was wrong with him? Why was he that sad and disappointed? Sure, Sehun would meet a girl some day... Kyungsoo didn't want to think about it. He pulled out his earphones, turned up the volume and listened to all his favorite songs. Unfortunately there were all ballads, telling stories of heartache and unrequited love. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and put his arms over them. When he listened to the second song, the first tear rolled down his face.

 

 

* * * * * *