[ the right answer ]

credits going out to the enchanted graphic shop

 ( past ) 

Save me!

Those were the two words Jonghoon had texted me ten minutes ago. When I had tried to give him a call, but he hadn't picked up – which was unlike him. Then again, it's also unusual for him to send me SOS messages in the first place. This is why it's only natural that I'm worried about him.

Whatever it is, this had better be important.

I had left my desk, my half filled coffee and my almost completed assignment to scramble off to the FTISLAND dorm. My hair's tied up in a messy bun and I'm donned in a white wooly jumper with silk murky green shorts. I look like a fashionista's worst nightmare.

Unlocking the door with the dorm's spare keys, I charge into their place. In the process, I trip over a pair of tomato-red stilettos. Now that my head's on the floor, I note a lace lingerie and black dress are accompanied with the heels, haphazardly scattered on the ground.

Snarling, I push myself from the ground, rubbing my aching back with my left hand as I make my way over to Jonghoon's room.

I raise my hand to the door. Just as I'm having second thoughts about knocking and turning around to head back home, the door swings open.

“Chaeri!” Jonghoon grins.

He's only his black boxers. His upper torso has scratches and there are hickeys on his neck. I let out of a sigh. I don't know if it's disappointment or irritation as I look away from his body and stare back at his face.

His eyes signal to the girl who is resting on his bed. He mouths, 'Save me.'

The girl sits up, pulling the sheet wrapped around her body, pretending that she's chaste. She stands up, sheet dragging onto the carpet as she stands next to Jonghoon, leering at my presence.

“And who are you?” She hisses.

If there's one thing that Jonghoon despises: it's jealous girls or clingers. This is why he does one night stands too often, for my liking. This mean that this girl had come back for a part two, or was refusing to leave the dorm.

From what I could gather, the rest of the FTISLAND boys were coming back this morning. They had spent the weekend at their family's places, all except Jonghoon. Now I knew why.

As I'm about to answer the girl, Jonghoon wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I'm with her.”

I frown. He wants me to get rid of her. I can't even count the number of times he's done this to me, or the number of times I've covered his to get possessive and obsessive girls off his back.

“No, she isn't.” The girl tears up. “What about us?”

“We only spent one night together.”

She blubbers out, “You're crazy. As if she's your girlfriend? I'm more prettier than she is. How can she be with you if it's clear you've slept with me?”

I sigh, repeating the line, I've said one too many times. “But I like it when he does. He brings excitement to the relationship.”

Jonghoon chuckles, kissing me on the cheek as he plays along, “It makes thing more spicy and exciting-”

“You freaks are sick!” The girl screams at us, tossing the sheets on the floor and scampering out of Jonghoon's room to redress herself in the clothes she had left in the lounge.

Jonghoon and I don't move until we hear the loud slam of the door.

When he smiles, I can't hold my laughter any longer. He joins in and chuckles, stirring me away from the musky scented room and back towards the lounge. We take a seat on the sofa and I sigh, getting comfortable by leaning into his body.

“Don't listen to her. You're prettier, Chaeri.”

I wipe the grin from my face, speaking up in a stern voice. “You've got to stop doing this.”

“Doing what?” Jonghoon says, like the smart he is.

“Making me your saviour whenever it comes to psycho girls. I was actually doing some homework, you know?” I complain to him. “I know you. There are worse girls that have been at your case and she was someone you could get out of the door without my help.”

“She was hot. A bit too demanding, but when she started talking about the future – I needed her out. I needed to borrow your acting skills.”

I ignore what he's said, grumbling. “You wouldn't need my horrible acting skills if you could just slow down that libido of yours!”

“I'm always ready,” He winks.

I groan, trying to pull away from him, but his strong arm holds me firmly in place. I don't bother to reply to his words as I feel his chest rise up and down. It's been a while since I've since Jonghoon, a while since somebody's held me like this.

“Why are you always running away, Cherry?”

“What?” I blink, surprised at the sudden change of topic. I shouldn't be surprised by Jonghoon's nonsequential way of talking, but it still catches me off guard once in a while.

“Ever since we've slept together, you've been avoiding me.”

I bite my lower lip, relieved I'm not facing him. I close my eyes in realisation. Jonghoon's SOS technique had been his master plan to get me to see him again. He had been right. Right after spending the night with him, I had been intentionally avoiding him. It had become awkward. Maybe it wasn't for him, but it has been for me.

Sure, Jonghoon had brushed it off as he's done it with other girls so many times. But for me, it's just not normal. I can't ignore it that easily. I've only slept with Wonbin, so Jonghoon being my second is not something I had expected.

I had initially laughed it off, but that night we had spent together had been intense. I remember how his tongue had swirled in my mouth, how he'd leave a trail of kisses down my back, how he'd whisper comforting words to calm me down as he'd in and out of me.

I lie, “I haven't been avoiding you.”

“Bull,” Jonghoon clicks his tongue, unimpressed by my answer. “Does it bother you this much?”

Pushing his hand off me with more strength, I sit up. Turning towards him, I reply. “Of course it does! How is this normal? How can you act like nothing has happened when it has?”

“You know me.” He bites back, “Isn't that what you think I'm like? Girls want it.”

All the thoughts, I've been holding in, comes crashing out. “That's what I mean! Those other girls are girls you haven't bothered to know, but you know me. I-I didn't want to screw it up between us!”

Jonghoon shrugs. “It just happened. We were talking, we felt some chemistry...it was natural. Anyway, you were the sober one. You could have stopped me.”

“I-I-,” I stammer. “That isn't the point!”

“Then why is it irritating you?” He retaliates, daringly. He leans in, challenging me. “I'm sorry I'm not the perfect guy, OK?”

“You're my best friend,” I conclude and I hear him let out an exasperated sigh.

He shakes his head. “Which is why you should know I didn't mean it to do it to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you, Chaeri. And If I could turn back time, I wouldn't do it again. I was being a jerk. I get it, OK? Can we move on now?”

If only I could agree back confidently. Yet, I will always remember what we did. It'll always stalk me. Whenever I look at Jonghoon, I don't think I can look at him in the same way – or it will take me a while to see him without remembering that we slept together.

“Maybe.” I grumble uncertainly. I fold my arms together. “You did a good job to get me here. You really pick the worse girls to sleep with. I don't know how to cope with you. I really thought you were in an urgent situation. It's so like you to scheme your way into talking to me again.”

Jonghoon points out, “Well, you're not a very approachable person when you don't want to be. Too bad you're one of the few I only trust. Asides from being in Japan, this is the longest time I've been away from you since. Three weeks. I thought you might not come here.”

“Well, I'm here,” I give in.

He smiles. “Like you always have. I promise not to do it again with you...so no more silent treatment, please?”

“I guess,” I scowl at him.

Jonghoon takes it as a yes, looping his arm around mine as he leans back onto the sofa. He picks up the remote with his vacant hand and selects a comedic movie – which is more lame than anything. He chortles at the cheesy jokes and I sigh, eventually resting my head onto his shoulder. I wish I can stay angrier at him, but I can't. Not speaking to Jonghoon for a long time always makes me feel bad.

Whenever he's not in my life, everything feels empty. I need him. However, it's not something I will ever tell him. It'll give him an ego boost.

“What are you guys doing?” Minhwan asks us, suspiciously. We hadn't even noticed that he's popped inside the dorm.

“Watching,” I yawn.

“Yeah right. At least cover up those hickeys, hyung!” Minhwan grunts. “The manager won't be happy if-”

“No way!” I cry out. “We didn't do that.”

The movie had distracted me from thinking about it and now, Minhwan conveniently chooses to bring it up again – believing that we had slept together.

“We have in the past,” Jonghoon jests, but stops guffawing when I sock him in the stomach, sliding to the opposite side of the sofa.

•••••••••••••••

 ( present )

As I walk away, whispers follow my trail.

I stride on, carrying my box of belongings and not heeding to the whispers that are evidently about me. My jaw tightens. It had been a tough decision. If Daehyun and I were no longer together, being the centre of negative attention in the heated discussions at work isn't something I wanted to endure.

Bumping into Daehyun, being in the same room, the tension, the anxiety – I couldn't stand walking on eggshells any longer. So I did Daehyun and myself a favour by resigning. It hurt seeing him give me stiff nod at the resignation letter, but I knew it had to be done.

At least then would be the end of gossip of me getting promoted or hired because of my ex-fiancee.

It actually is exciting. Remodelling my own reputation, starting for square one. Getting recognised for my own work without people connecting me to Daehyun. Perhaps applying for another job would be less ist. Perhaps they'd be more accepting of a female architect. Times are changing, people are more open to female workers in the industry. I need to be positive.

If Daehyun had wanted to tie me down to the house, I will prove him wrong. I will show my potential else where. As much as I love Daehyun, I hadn't worked my off to become a stay-at-home housewife. No thank you. I wonder, if he hadn't see that, then had he really known me at all?

The question plays in my mind as I exit the building for the last time. I make a turn around the corner to the company's coffee shop, placing the box onto one of the tables before heading to the register.

“You're late today, Chaeri.”

I give a small smile, absentmindedly taking out my wallet from my handbag.

“The usual?” The cashier asks me. “One mocha and a double-shot expresso?”

“No,” I reply, which causes the cashier to look at me in shock. For years I've been ordering the same two coffees: one for me and one for Daehyun.

“Then what will you have?” The cashier questions, still recovering from the momentary shock.

I tell him, “Just the mocha today.”

I don't tell him that it will, most likely, be my last coffee at the cafe. The less commotion, the better. I want to enjoy my last coffee at my work in peace.

After receiving my change, I amble towards the end of the counter to wait for my beverage. As I wait, I hear the next customer order.

“A choc-chip frappuccino please!”

The person who's ordered has a low masculine voice. A voice that doesn't match the order that seems suited for a child. I can't help but stare at the customer.

He's wearing a grey suit, polished leather shoes, a navy tie and he's holding a black briefcase. When he finishes paying, he glances up and catches me staring at him. My heart skips a beat.

What a small world it is...

He gives me a genuine smile, finally noticing it's me. It's a refreshing smile; a smile I've missed.

“Chaeri?” He says my name, advancing towards me.

I hesitantly step back and give a wary smile. “Hi Wonbin.”

“It's been years!”

“It has,” I reply, biting my bottom lip.

I collect my mocha and as I'm about to say goodbye to hip, he taps me on the shoulder.

“Care for a coffee if you're free? I'm on my break,” He explains. “It'll be nice to talk to an old friend.”

An old friend?

I don't know whether to laugh or to run away, but something in me keeps me fixed in position. Wonbin and I had broken up on bad terms, but it wasn't like I held a grudge against him. I had moved on. I had been with Daehyun. And, as I look at Wonbin now, I don't love him. He holds memories, precious memories, of being my first love, but that's all.

He's right. He is a friend.

Wonbin rewords the question, “So are you free?”

“More than ever,” I nod. I gesture over to the table with my box of belongings. I lift the box off the table, positioning it under the table.

Wonbin sits in front me. He appears different. More masculine, more mature. I think it has to do with the fact that instead of wearing a plain shirt and torn jeans, he's in a tailored suit and even has glasses on. He looks like he knows his place in the world. While I've quit my job, am still trying to find my place in the world, as I sit in this very cafe drinking my mocha with my ex-boyfriend.

I watch as he takes the plastic from his straw, planting the straw into the centre of his frappuccino. He's about to speak, but I stop him when I see a band on his finger.

“You're married?” I gape.

Wonbin gives me a sheepish smile. “Yeah...”

I let him talk from there. He mentions how he's been married for two years and how his wife is expecting a baby. He complains about his work and how he's become an accountant, how he's stopped music because he wanted stability. He wanted a family. Wonbin's always been smart. Even when he was with FTISLAND, he had been taking the online accounting course as a backup.

I just hadn't expected him to settle down. To get a wife. To have a family.

The whole concept seems foreign to me. However, I had almost been in the position with Daehyun.

“Do you regret leaving the band?” I can't help but query him.

Wonbin smiles. “Trust you to ask something like this after all this time.”

“Well, don't you?”

“At times I do,” Wonbin admits. “Seeing the boys on TV gets me questioning what would have happened if I was still in FTISLAND. That's all, really, because then I remember how happy I am now.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's in the past, Chaeri,” Wonbin waves off. “We were both young. I wanted to do the whole Bonnie and Clyde with you, but you wouldn't budge. You're too fond of Jonghoon, that's why.”

“Jonghoon?” I burst out.

His name has been haunting me for weeks. We had slept together...again. We had promised each other we would never do it again after the first mistake. I had been drunk, but I was alert enough to know what happened. I had pretty much begged Jonghoon to sleep with me as a tactic to forget about Daehyun.

Big mistake.

Ever since that night, as much as I had been thinking about Daehyun, I had equally been thinking about Jonghoon too. I couldn't blame Jonghoon for that night because it had been me at fault. Jonghoon was being Jonghoon – the guy he was. I had tried talking to him after it, but he was always unavailable. I remember him waking up next to me, giving a quick embrace and then leaving the hotel room. I remember the look of guilt in his eyes, despite it not being his fault.

“What's the deal with the two of you anyway?” Wonbin bristles. “Are you together yet?”

“What?” I blink. “I was with Daehyun-”

“You didn't get with Jonghoon straight after?”

“No!” I stammer. “We haven't gotten together at all!”

“Not even in bed?” Wonbin says, slyly. When he sees my cheeks turn pink he lets out a laugh. “At least you've made some progress. But God, you guys are horrible. I even made an opening for the two of you to come to your senses and get together. To think that I had thought you'd be together all this time-”

“Me and Jonghoon?” I screech. “Are you crazy?”

“Not as insane as you are to not know that Jonghoon likes you.”

“Of course he likes me-”

“-as a best friend, right? That's what you were going to say.” Wonbin rolls his eyes. “Really? You're not dumb, Chaeri. Stop pretending like you don't know that he's liked you for this long.”

He's liked you for this long?

I glare at Wonbin. “What do you mean?”

“Jonghoon has always liked you.” Wonbin gives a frustrated cry, “And I'm not repeating myself again.”

“Fine!” I snap. It's been enough that Wonbin marches back into my life, but to give me advice about Jonghoon when he is my ex-boyfriend isn't something I'm all that interested in.

“So what if Jonghoon liked me? That doesn't mean he likes me now. He's never told me even once either! What proof do you have?”

Wonbin smirks. “Still in denial? Chaeri, why do you reckon I left FTISLAND? Yes, I did leave the group for you...but it wasn't only about you. Jonghoon and I were constantly bickering. He was jealous. He disapproved of me being with you.”

“He's like that with people he cares about,” I mutter, remembering how he had reacted with Jaejin and Jinri. “Doesn't mean he likes me. He's got other girls anyway. He sleeps with whoever he pleases. While I was with Daehyun.”

“Who's Daehyun?”

“Another ex,” I cringe. Just thinking about this is getting weirder and weirder. How is it that I'm talking to Wonbin, after years of no contact, about my current ex-boyfriend. Life is grand, isn't it?

“You broke up?”

“Recently,” I say, grimly.

“Why?” Wonbin is really pushing his boundaries now. Why is he being so invasive when I'm not his business anymore? “Was it because of Jonghoon? Was Jonghoon involved with your break up?”

“No,” I partly deny. The break up had to do with mainly different opinions, what Daehyun had expected of me, what I wanted to do...but Jonghoon had been slightly involved too.

“But you loved Daehyun, didn't you?”

“Yes,” I agree. “Just like how I loved you. I was going to marry him, Wonbin.”

“Then why didn't you?” Wonbin delves in deeper. “Is it because you love Jonghoon more than him?”

No.

I've never thought about it in that way. My head tilts to the side as I think of what Wonbin's said. Do I like Jonghoon more than Daehyun? Thinking about it makes me feel anxious. When I don't reply, I look up at Wonbin who gives me a triumphant beam, as if he knows what I'm thinking. The darn guy always has been too smart for his own good.

Wonbin has gotten his answer and I...I had gotten mine.

•••••••••••••••

14.02.15

(a/n)

Happy Valentine's Day! Wonbin's random cameo in this chp. I've been planning to bring Wonbin back since forever. So that's his official last scene ;P Playing with Chaeri's mind. Haha. I'll be replying to comments now ~

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