>Sleep Cycle Ended

    I blinked awake, my eyes adjusting to the bright light quickly. I looked around, assessing my environment, and frowned. I could not hear Daehyun moving around. From our established routine, he should be either taking a shower or working by now. I stood and went to his bedroom door. There was no humming noise this time. I knocked three times and waited.

    Daehyun opened the door, face blank. I did not like it. I could still remember last night, when he pushed my hands away and did not look at me for the rest of the evening.

    “If I did something to offend you last night, I apologize. I’m still not completely educated in human interaction.” I said, just loud enough for him to hear it.

    He blinked and then his face creased a bit, smoothing out once he ran his hands over it.

    “No, I…” he paused and took a breath. “It wasn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong.”

    “Then why did you push me away?” I asked, trying to catch his eyes, but he refused to look at me.

    “Because… I felt things.” He finally mumbled, evading the question.

    “Things.” I repeated flatly, staring at him.

    “Things I’m not supposed to feel.” He said, glancing at my face.

    I took a moment to process this. I could not draw a concrete conclusion, but from Daehyun’s embarrassment and the conversation leading up to the incident, I could infer certain things about these feelings. They were probably something along the lines of attraction. I found I was not opposed to the idea. But clearly Daehyun was.

    “Is it because I’m a robot?” I asked him, not wanting him to continue this vague and nebulous way of answering my questions.

    He looked at me, every line of his body sharp and angry.

    “No!” He said, with such vehemence it was startling. I blinked and he clenched his jaw, turning away. “No. No, that’s not why.”

    “Then why?” I asked him, wanting him to look at me.

    “Because…” He swallowed, his eyes wet. “Because I’m still in love with Youngjae. And I’m supposed to wait for him. That’s what… that’s what good boyfriends are supposed to do.”

    “And if he never comes back?” My words must have sounded harsh, because Daehyun started to cry, tears rolling down his face. “I’m sorry, I did not mean to make you cry.”

    I reached out to him but he shook his head, wiping at his eyes with his sleeves and inhaling deeply. I did not like it. I did not want him to push me away. I did not want him to cry. I wanted him to look at me.

    “I’m still supposed to wait.” He said, smiling a little. “I’m sorry.”

    “Why are you sorry?” I blinked, not understanding.

    “I can’t return your feelings, Zelo.” He said, gentle and sad, before closing the door.

    I did not understand. My feelings? I did not have feelings. I was not programmed with them, I did not have the capacity for emotion. I could imitate them, and recently my imitation had become more and more lifelike until Daehyun had deemed me near human.

    But… emotion, true emotion, was not something I could comprehend. Yet Daehyun seemed to think I held these…feelings for him.

    Was that true? Had I somehow developed the capacity for emotion on my own? Or was Daehyun simply seeing things, projecting his human nature onto a facsimile of a human? I did not know. How could I know? 

    The knock on the front door disturbed me from my thoughts. I looked at it, then at Daehyun’s door, and when there was no movement from within, I made my way to the thick steel door and looked out through the peephole.

    Himchan and Jongup were standing on the front step, and since Daehyun had made it clear that they were his friends and not to be turned away, I unlocked the door and pulled it open, standing aside so they could come in.

    “Hello, Zelo~” Himchan sang at me, throwing his arms around me in a hug. I only hesitated for a moment before I hugged him back. He patted my back a few times and let go, going to sit on the couch beside Jongup, who had already taken a seat. I looked at them both, thinking.

    One of them was a robot. And yet, they both displayed a remarkable range of emotions. Perhaps you could program feelings into a robot. Maybe they could tell me why Daehyun thought I was holding feelings for him. I watched as Jongup put an arm around Himchan, who leaned against the shorter male with a contented sigh.

    “Where’s Daehyun?” Jongup asked in his quiet voice, looking at me.

    “He’s in his room.” I moved Daehyun’s work chair closer to them and sat down, watching them closely. I still could not discern which was the human and which was not. It was a puzzle I wanted to solve, and one I could not solve. This was unusual, it was not right, it was…frustrating.

    I was frustrated.

    The revelation made me lean back in my chair. Frustration. A noun. The feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something. Emotion.

    I had emotions.

    They were both watching me, as though waiting for me to say more. I blinked at them and then leaned forward.

    “One of you is a robot.”

    Himchan glanced at Jongup and then looked at me, a frown creasing his face.

    “Yes…” He said slowly, lilting it up slightly near the end of the word. My eyes moved across the pair, taking in their body language and their facial expressions and their heart rates and every bit of data I could take in. It was how I noticed the tightening of Jongup’s arm around Himchan and the slight increase in only one heart rate. I saw the fear in Himchan’s eyes and the ferocity in Jongup’s.

    I opened my mouth and Himchan shot up, mumbling something about getting Daehyun. Jongup watched him go and then returned his attention to me, jaw clenched and eyes fixed on mine.

    “I was told I was not capable of emotion.” I told him, and Jongup frowned, blinking a few times as he tried to connect my words with my previous actions.

    “Okay?” He finally said, his face relaxing just a bit, though his eyes were still completely focused on mine.

    “Daehyun believes I have feelings for him.”

    Jongup was very clearly confused. I was merely trying to give him the relevant facts of my situation.

    “And… do you have feelings for him?” Jongup asked, slowly, each word carefully pronounced.

    I stared at him. I went through my memory banks, recalling the time I had spent with Daehyun. I remembered my actions, my words, my vocal inflections and facial expressions. Finally I returned my attention to Jongup, who was still waiting for my answer.

    “I do not know.” How could I know? It was true that I paid a lot of attention to Daehyun, I studied his movements, his facial features, his mannerisms and his voice, but it was all for research. Practice for acting human. But was my behavior somehow a sign for Daehyun that I held romantic emotions for him?

    I almost dismissed it as ridiculous. Daehyun was a human, he was a robot mechanic and he should know better than to look for emotions in an android. But, as Daehyun had proved, time and time again, he believed robots to be like humans. He treated them as equals. So perhaps he had merely gotten the wrong idea from my actions.

    “I have asked him to teach me how to act human,” I told Jongup. “I have had to spend a lot of time with him and study him closely. Perhaps he has misread my intentions. I am not capable of human emotions.”

    Jongup nodded, slowly, crossing his arms and watching me with half-lidded eyes. I almost thought he was asleep, or at least not listening to me, when he finally spoke.

    “When you think of Daehyun, what is the first thing you think of?”

    It was his smile. The laughter and light pouring out of him. The way his cheeks dimpled. How his eyes curved into crescents and nearly disappeared. The way his laugh burst out of him, loud and unrestrained. I enjoyed seeing him like that.

    “I…” I paused, my eyebrows drawing together and my mouth turning down. My expression software had become quite fast in selecting the correct programs.

    Jongup’s eyes were still mostly closed, but somehow I knew he was focused on my face.

    “When I think of Himchan, I think of his laugh. When he first met me, he told me I was adorable and pinched my cheeks. No one had ever told me that before. I thought he was making fun of me, since he was laughing the whole time.”

    “Was he?” I asked, taking in this new information and adding it to the various programs I was running to figure out which was the robot.

    Jongup shook his head and smiled, his features softening from harsh lines into gentle curves. For a moment, I could almost see how Himchan would call Jongup cute.

    “No. He wasn’t. He was being sincere. Like he always is. He doesn’t believe in saying things he doesn’t mean. I suppose that’s one of the reasons I love him so much.”

    “How did you know that you loved him?” I asked him, wanting to figure it out. I had to understand. Perhaps if he explained it, I could break it down and analyze it and figure out what emotions I held for Daehyun. If indeed I held any at all.

    Jongup frowned, his face turning harder again.

    “I didn’t. There wasn’t a moment where I suddenly realized ‘Oh, I love Himchan’ or anything like that. It’s not like you flip a switch and suddenly you’re in love.”

    His answer was highly unsatisfactory. I wondered if Himchan would give me the same response. I wanted to ask more questions but then Himchan and Daehyun appeared, Himchan looking much calmer. Daehyun simply looked tired and vaguely confused.

    “You guys don’t have an appointment… right?” Daehyun picked up his data pad and tapped on the calendar, frowning at the square indicating today’s date. It was blank and he looked from Jongup to Himchan as he set the pad down. “Am I missing something?”

    Jongup and Himchan shared their own confused look and then Himchan spoke.

    “Daehyun, don’t you remember what today is?”

    Daehyun tilted his head to the side.

    “It’s January 24^th,” he said. I checked my calendar. It was indeed. Suddenly Daehyun’s expression changed from confused to completely blank, his eyes unfocused. “January 24^th.”

    Himchan chewed on his lip and Jongup frowned, standing and walking over to Daehyun. When he reached Daehyun he wrapped his arms around Daehyun’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Daehyun went willingly, though his expression hardly changed from that strange, blank mask. I did not like it. I did not like January 24^th.

    “What is today?” I asked, my voice louder than I had intended, thanks to the silence of the other three.

    Himchan looked over at me and let his lip go from between his teeth.

    “January 24^th. Youngjae’s birthday.”

    Yoo Youngjae’s birthday. Daehyun was upset, I now realized. He was upset because today was the birthday of his missing and presumed dead boyfriend.

    “We’re going to visit the grave,” Himchan explained quietly, and I noticed how Daehyun’s eyes closed and his jaw tightened and the lines between his eyebrows deepened. “You could come with us, if you want.”

    I looked at Daehyun’s face and nodded.

    “I want to come.”

—

    It was snowing, but the ground was still too warm for the flakes to stick. The sky was dull and grey, and whenever I looked up snow would stick to my eyelashes. I checked the weather forecast. Overcast, grey skies with chances of flurries, high of 2 degrees, low of 0 degrees. I adjusted my face mask and glanced at Daehyun. He was walking in the front of the group, a bunch of daisies in his arms.

    I had asked him why and he’d smiled, but there was a sadness in his eyes that did not belong there. Not in Daehyun’s eyes.

    “It was his little joke. He’d call me Dae-sy, since it sounds like the English name for the flowers. He was always such a smartass…” He touched the petals gently, his fingers as light as they were when he did the fine tuning on the cyber-neurons in a robotic brain.

    I watched the flowers tremble with each step as we walked towards Yoo Youngjae’s grave. The graveyard was quiet, almost unnaturally so, but I knew the snow was dampening the sounds of the world. The grass was brown, but whoever was the groundskeeper had been diligent in keeping it trimmed and away from the gravestones. As we passed row after row of dark stones I caught glimpses of flowers, small gifts, little bits of color nestled in the dead grass.

    I found it strange, this custom of humans, to bury their expired family and friends in a plot of land that could be used for a more productive reason. When a robot outlived its purpose it was deactivated and its parts recycled. I looked down at my hands, suddenly considering the possibility that I was made from the parts of another robot. It had occurred to me before, but I had never given it more than a cursory thought. It now seemed strange to me, that I was possibly the amalgamation of what could be thousands of others.

    Humans, however, were not built from metal and plastic and polymers and fiber optic cables. They could not be recycled. Of course, there was also the fact that humans had emotions. They loved their dead. They wished to remember. So they made graveyards. I still was not sure why they buried the dead. Perhaps it was sentiment. Or denial. Or mere selfishness. They could not fully let go of their loved one.

    Daehyun stopped in front of one of the stones, looking down at the name carved onto it. I knew without looking that this was the grave of Yoo Youngjae. I also knew without looking that the coffin below our feet was empty. They had never found him, so there had been no body to bury.

    There was silence, broken by the far away sound of an ambulance siren. Daehyun coughed and knelt, placing the flowers in front of the grave and brushing the light dusting of snow off of the gravestone. He opened his mouth, and got part of a word out before he shut his mouth again, clearing his throat heavily and closing his eyes. He breathed in through his nose and opened his mouth again.

    “I uh… I brought daisies. They were always your… your favorite.”

    Jongup and Himchan stepped forward to either side of Daehyun, each one laying a hand on his shoulder. I took a step forward and then stopped. This was not something I was involved in. I had not known Dr. Yoo. I did not think Daehyun would appreciate my comfort.

    “It’s been… God. It’s been two years. I almost can’t even believe it. But I guess that means it’s real, huh? If you were… still alive, you’d have contacted me by now.” Daehyun was staring at the name on the gravestone, but I did not think he was seeing the name. His eyes were too full of tears. He pressed his lips together and ducked his head, going silent.

    “We miss you,” Himchan said suddenly, his hand rubbing slow circles on Daehyun’s back. “All of us. But you don’t have to worry. We’re taking good care of Daehyun, aren’t we, Jongup?”

    Jongup agreed with a soft sound, leaning his head on Daehyun’s shoulder. They stayed that way for 3 minutes and 24 seconds, silently huddled together in the cold, grey air. I watched them, taking in their hunched shoulders and tense muscles. At random intervals, Daehyun sniffed or let out a sound so quiet my audio sensors almost didn’t pick it up. Yoo Youngjae had been loved by them all. 

    Finally they stood, Himchan wiping at his eyes and sniffing softly. Jongup had not cried, but his face was harsher than his usual expression. Daehyun wobbled a little, pressing the cuffs of his sweater to his eyes, and I stepped forward to steady him, my hands on his waist. He jumped and looked at me, the look on his face making it clear that he had forgotten I was there.

    “Ah… Zelo… thank you.” Daehyun smiled, his lips closed, mouth trembling. It quickly disappeared. He looked away and started to walk out of the graveyard. I allowed Jongup and Himchan to walk in front of me as we followed him back to the tram stop.

    “I was thinking we could get Indian food,” Himchan was saying, hesitating as he looked at Daehyun. “And bring it all back to your place. Maybe watch some of the old vids.”

    Daehyun stared off into the distance and shrugged. Jongup looked at him, frowned, and then gently tugged on Himchan’s hand, pulling him towards the tram as it pulled up.

    “But this isn’t ours,” Himchan protested, and Jongup shrugged.

    “This one will take us to the Indian restaurant. Daehyun and Zelo can take the next one home and wait for us.” Jongup said, wrapping an arm around Himchan’s shoulder and waving to Daehyun. “We’ll meet you guys at home.”

    Daehyun opened his mouth but before he could say anything, the doors of the tram slid shut and it was moving away, rapidly picking up speed. I watched it go, tracking the two heat signatures belonging to Himchan and Jongup until they were out of the range of my sensors.

    After a few moments, Daehyun spoke.

    “Thank you for coming.” His voice was quiet, spoken to the air and not to my face.

    I was not sure why he was thanking me. I had done nothing.

    “You’re welcome,” I said anyway, my own voice matching his in volume. “I am sorry. I know you loved him very much.”

    Daehyun made a noise and suddenly there was a pressure on my fingers. I looked down to see his fingers sliding into the spaces between mine. After a moment, I curled my fingers around his. I wondered how my skin felt to him. Did it feel like a human’s skin? Or did it feel artificial? I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand, looking down at our linked fingers. I knew my finger was moving, I could feel the pressure of it on my skin, but softness was something I could not feel. I could tell his skin was smooth, my finger glided over his hand without any catches or bumps, and I liked that. Rough things tore skin. Smooth things were safe and soft.

    Daehyun in a breath and I stopped, looking at him. He was looking at our hands as well, his fingers slack and his face tense. I remembered some of the movies we had watched, where people held hands. Usually, they were in love.

    “Do you want me to stop?” I asked him, and he looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed together and his jaw tight. He nodded, a small movement of his head, but enough to convey his meaning. I released his fingers and let my arms hang by my sides. The wind from the oncoming train ruffled my hair and I watched the train glide into the station, smoothly coming to a halt and letting out 23 people. I waited until the way was clear and led Daehyun into the train car, taking a place near the opposite door.

    Daehyun stood beside me. I could tell he was thinking, his eyes faraway and his lips slightly pursed in a frown. He’d had the same look whenever he was faced with a difficult repair job or when he was trying to decide what movie to watch.

    I wanted to talk to him, hopefully clear up any confusion or guilt he felt about what he assumed were my feelings for him. But I did not want to do it in the middle of a crowd, full of people who would look at me and only see a robot. A robot discussing his feelings, something that I was not supposed to have. It would get me reported to the RCS, Daehyun would be arrested, and then Commander would have me back in the Center again, reprogrammed or repurposed as the newest prototype.

    As the days went on, I found myself considering the idea with less and less indifference. At one time I might have accepted it as my lot in life. I was created by the men in the Center, meant to serve them and carry out my orders and then deactivate when I had outlived my usefulness.

    The train began to move and I moved my hand up to hold onto the overhead rail. Daehyun did the same, looking out of the window as the city whipped past. I looked at him, taking in his profile. He was squinting in the bright winter sun and the back of his hair was sticking up. There was a stubborn bit of hair that never stayed flat. He always complained about it, wetting his fingers to smooth it down, and despite his best efforts it would spring back up again a few minutes later. There was a scar on his full upper lip, so faint you would barely notice it unless you had my eyes. His eyes were large and soft, and though it was on the other side, I knew there was a small mole beneath his eye. I liked his eyes. They were as expressive as his mouth, curving and squinting and drooping with his emotions.

    I did not want to lose these moments. The moments of quiet where I could watch him and really see him.

    Daehyun didn’t seem to notice my gaze, and as the train finally pulled into our station he looked around and got off the train with the rest of the crowd. Someone bumped into him as they got off, and I narrowed my eyes, glimpsing brown leather. There was something wrong, and I moved without thinking, too fluid and too fast to be human. My hand clamped down on their wrist. I did not use my full strength, I did not want to break their arm, but it was enough to render them immobile.

    “Hey! What’s the big idea, man?” The boy in my grasp struggled, the hood of his jacket falling down to reveal shaggy hair and a severe case of acne. From a quick scan, he was within the age range of 16-18, he smoked at least one pack of cigarettes per day, and he was holding Daehyun’s wallet.

    “This does not belong to you,” I told him, plucking it out of his grasp and handing it to Daehyun, who took it, touched his pocket, and quickly stuffed the wallet into a pocket on the inside of his coat, frowning at the boy I was holding onto.

    The boy cursed, trying to yank his arm out of my grip once more.

    “What should I do with him?” I turned my head to look at Daehyun, my hand unaffected by the boy’s attempts to loosen my fingers.

    “Report him, I guess.” Daehyun frowned and crossed his arms. He did not like criminals, he’d admitted to me once while watching a mystery on the vid screen. 

    I like to see them face justice, he’d said. I could see that justice was what he wanted now. I nodded and began to walk, dragging the boy along with me. He dug in his heels and cursed at me, growing louder and more violent with each passing second. We were drawing the eyes of nearly everyone in the station.

    It took 2 minutes and 17 seconds for a security guard to approach us, his badge hanging crookedly from his shirt. He was overweight, mostly bald, and he squinted at the three of us from behind his thick glasses. I scanned his face and ran it through one of the national databases. He had one unpaid parking ticket but was otherwise clean.

    “What’s going on over here?” The guard asked, looking from my face to Daehyun’s, to the boy’s, and then back to me.

    “This boy attempted to steal my companion’s wallet,” I told the guard. The boy had ceased his struggling but continued to glare at me. The security guard blinked at us, frowning as he looked between all three of us again.

    “Well son,” he finally said, addressing the boy. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

    “I wasn’t doing anything, okay? I was just minding my own business when this damn robot grabbed me.” The boy spat out his words, glaring at everything and everyone.

    It was logical that the boy had figured out that I was not human. After all, humans did not have grips like mine, and they would not be able to hold onto a struggling teenager without flinching. At the revelation that I was, in fact, a robot, the security guard took on an aggressive pose, his hand going to the stun baton at his side.

    “Let the boy go,” he told me, his voice trembling even though he was attempting to sound authoritative. I blinked at him, tilting my head to the side ever so slightly.

    “You believe his word over mine? I am incapable of lying. Humans lie all the time.”

    “I said, let him go.” The stun baton crackled to life as he leveled it at my chest, humming with the 1000 volts coursing through the small weapon. My own was nearly three times more powerful at its lowest setting. Even 1000 volts would be enough to damage my systems, though, and I released my grip on the boy, who attempted to flee.

    Daehyun stopped him, frowning deeply.

    “Officer, this boy did try to steal my wallet. I should know.”

    The officer turned to Daehyun, the stun baton humming as it moved. It was now pointing at Daehyun. An alert flashed red in my vision.

    Threat detected towards [Ally=Daehyun]. Threat level: 1. Preventative action engaged.

    My body moved, following my programming perfectly. I stepped in front of Daehyun and knocked the guard’s outstretched arm to the side. I grabbed his arm and twisted until he cried out in pain, letting go of the baton. It clattered to the ground and went silent, no longer charged with electricity. Once the threat was removed, I let go of the man’s arm and stepped back, keeping myself between Daehyun and the guard.

    The guard cursed, cradling his arm to his chest, glaring at me. He pressed the button of the comm in his ear and spoke in a low voice.

    “Dispatch? I’ve got a rogue robot here. Send RCS to my location.”

    I accessed my mapping software and quickly pulled up the maps of the area. RCS would arrive in approximately 8 minutes. I set my tracking program up to alert me every 30 seconds with the RCS’ current location.

    Daehyun stepped forward, jaw tense. I could see his fear. I could feel it myself. 

    “He’s a Guardian. He’s just doing what he’s programmed to do.” He told the guard, his voice strong and clear despite the slight tremble of his hands.

    The guard and I blinked. I almost corrected Daehyun, but he had a reason for lying and I would not compromise that lie. The guard’s hand drifted down and he frowned deeply, looking at me.

    “He doesn’t look like any Guardian model I’ve ever seen.” He was suspicious. Guardians were usually large and bulky, meant to  intimidate those who attempted to harm their charges. Some weren’t even designed to look human. There had been a few at the Center, I remembered the large wall-mounted masses of black plastic and steel. They’d watched everything and everyone, ready to bring down any threat with the armory hidden within their frames.

    I had been designed to blend in with humans, and if you compared my frame with that of a Guardian, I would certainly not look like one. However, I was certain that I was stronger, faster, and more deadly than any Guardian on the market today. In a way, Daehyun was not lying. I had programmed myself to protect Daehyun from all harm. I was his personal Guardian.

    Daehyun was not fazed by the guard’s disbelief. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, letting out a sigh and letting his face take on an exasperated expression.

    “I should hope not. He’s a prototype. The first of his kind. I was taking him out for a trial run when that kid tried to steal my wallet. He did well with that, caught the kid and everything. It would’ve been perfect if you hadn’t gone and done something stupid.”

    The guard rubbed his wrist and glared at me once more.

    “He attacked me!” The man hissed.

    “You were pointing a stun baton at me!” Daehyun said, moving his hand in a sharp, quick motion as he dismissed the man’s comment. “He saw a threat, he followed his programming. It’s not rogue behavior if he’s doing what he’s supposed to do!”

    There was silence for 35 seconds.

    “Can you prove it?” The guard finally asked.

    “What?” Daehyun blinked and frowned.

    “Can you prove he was only following his programming and that he’s a Guardian?”

    Proof would mean scanners and analyzing my data. It would mean picking me apart into tiny pieces and then deciding if I was “safe” or not. It would mean going against the code that forbade me from sharing the secrets of my creation. I did not know how to tell Daehyun these things without revealing that he was lying to the guard.

    Daehyun’s jaw clenched and unclenched and then he was leading me to one of the many chairs inside the train terminal. He pushed me to sit down and opened my neck panel. I looked up at him, trying to move my face into an expression that would show him that he couldn’t do this.

    “Don’t worry,” he mouthed, pulling a small data chip out of his pocket. He did not press it into my access port, but he acted like he had when he pulled away and handed the chip to the guard.

    My alerts pinged at me. RCS was still coming, their route glowing red on the map. The guard took out a data pad and inserted the chip. He looked over it, his brows furrowed together, but from the way his eyes were skipping around on the code, he did not understand it at all. He tapped a few keys and the pad bleeped at him. Finally he took the chip out and returned it to Daehyun.

    “It… seems to be in order.” The man frowned and tapped his fingers on his pad, looking at me once again.

    “Great. Can we go now?” Daehyun slipped the chip into his pocket and closed my access port. He tugged on my arm and I stood, blinking down at him. What had he given the guard? It wasn’t nothing, since the guard seemed to be accepting it, but it was not my programming.

    “Yes. Um. Sorry for the trouble.” The guard bowed his head slightly and pressed his comm button again. “Dispatch? False alarm, RCS is not needed, repeat, RCS is not needed.”

    Daehyun smiled at the man, his facial muscles tight, and then pulled on my arm, walking quickly out of the train station and onto the street. From how tightly he clutched my sleeve, I knew he was restraining himself from running as fast as he could back to his house.

    As it was, we walked at a careful, measured pace. We could still be watched. When we finally reached Daehyun’s neighborhood and the network went quiet, I knew it was safe to speak.

    “What did you give him?” I asked, looking at his tense figure. “It was not my code.”

    He shook his head and smiled, just a little, the corners of his lips barely lifting.

    “It was an old code of Youngjae’s. For a guard dog AI.”

    I blinked and continued to stare at him.

    “A guard dog.”

    Daehyun smiled wider, looking at my blank face.

    “It’s a protective AI,” he explained. “On a data pad it’ll look like any other code for guarding a person or an object. I don’t think that guy could read code anyway.”

    As he finished his sentence Daehyun hopped up the stairs in front of his door, fishing the keys out of his pocket as he punched in the door code.

    “It is very possible that he could not.” I nodded and waited for Daehyun to unlock the door. As soon as the door was shut behind  us, I tugged off my face mask and put it in my pocket. I could hear two voice speaking from the kitchen, I easily identified them as Himchan and Jongup.

    “You’re late!” Himchan told us, walking over and frowning at Daehyun. “What happened?”

    “Someone tried to steal my wallet,” Daehyun said, taking off his heavy coat and hanging it on a peg. Himchan’s eyes widened and he began asking questions so quickly Daehyun did not have a chance to respond.

    “Himchan, I’m fine, I’m fine. Zelo stopped the guy, I got my wallet back, it’s all okay.” Daehyun paused and frowned. “Wait… what happened to that kid?”

    “What kid?” Jongup asked, leaning on the low dividing wall between the kitchen and the hallway.

    “The kid who tried to steal my wallet. We brought him to the security guard but then the guy acted all weird because Zelo was a robot.”

    I reviewed my memories of the event. In truth, I had stopped paying attention to the boy after I disarmed the security guard. At some point after that event, the boy had disappeared. I made sure the boy’s face was placed into a folder marked [Possible threats] and put him at a high priority. If I ever saw his face again, I would be able to catch him.

    “He left,” I told Daehyun. My review had taken only a second, with a few extra moments to deal with the boy’s possible reappearance. “No one was paying attention to him, and I had released him. He must have run for it as soon as our attention was turned away.”

    “Damn…” Daehyun muttered, checking his pockets. Nothing was stolen, from the relieved look on his face, and he smiled at Jongup and Himchan. “So… food?”

    “Good thing you got here when you did, it was starting to get cold.” Jongup pushed off from the wall and went to the kitchen counter, where there were several paper bags lined up. “We didn’t get you anything, Zelo, since we weren’t sure if you were equipped for breaking down food, but if you are then there’s plenty to share.”

    I shook my head and smiled a little. Himchan was fascinated by this.

    “Thank you for thinking of my needs, but I cannot process food.”

    “You smiled!” Himchan exclaimed, leaning in to look at my face more closely. I blinked at him, wondering if Daehyun had given Himchan the “personal space” talk. I had received it a few days into our lessons on being human when I consistently leaned in to study Daehyun’s facial expressions up close.

    (“Zelo, humans have a thing called ‘personal space.’”

    “What is that?”

    “An imaginary bubble just for them and no one else.”

    “What a strange concept.”

    “Yes. Sure. Now will you please stop putting your face an inch away from mine?”)

    “Yes. I have been learning how to make facial expressions seem more natural. Daehyun has been teaching me.” I told Himchan, leaning back a few degrees.

    “It looks so good! Whoever built you had really good taste, you’ve got great bone structure.” Himchan said, reaching out his hands. I blinked repeatedly as Himchan began to touch my face. I was not sure how I was supposed to respond to this. Daehyun had never covered this in our lessons.

    “Himchan, come and eat.” Jongup’s voice was quiet, but Himchan obeyed immediately, pulling away from me and taking one of the containers of curry.

    There was some slight jostling and teasing comments as the three piled food onto their plates, curry and rice and naan and many other things that I could not identify. I sat on the floor as the other three piled onto the couch, elbowing each other and trying to make enough room. One of them could easily move onto the floor with me, but they did not consider this possibility. Or perhaps they did, and they simply wished to sit together.

    I watched them as they ate, wondering what “taste” was. It seemed to be something good, from the expressions on their faces and the happy noises they made. Himchan kept whining about how “hot” the food was, though from a thermal scan it had cooled considerably from its original temperature and therefore should not have been too hot to consume.

    Jongup called Himchan a baby, which caused Himchan’s face to screw up in an annoyed pout as he shoved another spoonful of curry into his mouth.

    Daehyun laughed at them both, dipping his naan into his curry before eating it. He looked at me and frowned a little.

    “Sorry Zelo… I feel like we’re kind of leaving you out.”

    “You do not need to apologize. I am not equipped to process food. Attempting to ingest a foreign substance would damage my internal systems.” I paused and considered my words. “But I wish I could join you. You seem to be happy, eating with friends. Is it a pleasant experience?”

    “Yeah, it’s very pleasant.” Daehyun smiled and nodded, poking my leg with his foot. He was happy. That was good. It was how things should be.

    Daehyun wiped his mouth with his napkin. The curry left a yellow stain on the napkin. There was still a smear of curry just to the right of his mouth. He his lips but his pink tongue missed the stain. I reached out and took his napkin, wiping his mouth while using the least amount of force I could. I did not want to hurt him.

    He stared at me as I sat back down, setting the napkin on the coffee table. Himchan and Jongup were facing away, but from the way they kept glancing over I knew they were aware of what was going on.

    “Zelo.” Daehyun began, and there it was, that strange blankness, where I could not begin to understand what he was thinking, since he was showing me nothing.

    “I am sorry. I have made you uncomfortable. I will go into my sleep mode now, you three can watch your vids.” I closed my eyes, preparing my sleep sequence when I felt Daehyun’s hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw that the blankness was gone, replaced by a frown.

    “No, no, you didn’t, don’t go to sleep. Stay with us.” Daehyun bit his lip and pulled his hand back, waving it at the screen and pulling up a seemingly random recording. From the time stamp it was three years, six months, and 27 days ago. June 27^st. The camera wiggled slightly, and Daehyun’s voice came from the speakers.

    “Youngjae yah~ Youngjae yah~”

    The camera bobbed as Daehyun went down a flight of stairs. I recognized the room that came into view: it was the workshop down in the basement. Too Youngjae sat on a high stool by one of the tables, a pair of goggles over his face as he inspected a disembodied robotic arm. The arm was hooked up to one of his computers and he typed another line of code into the computer before pressing on the palm of the hand. The fingers wiggled and went still and a smile lit up Dr. Yoo’s face.

    “Youngjae yah~” Daehyun’s voice was sweet and happy, and as Dr. Yoo registered Daehyun’s presence, he smiled, taking off his goggles.

    “Daehyun, what’s up? You hardly ever come down here.”

    I had never heard Yoo Youngjae’s voice before. It was calmer than Daehyun’s, softer somehow, and it made him sound like he was the older of the two.

    “Guess what tomorrow is~” Daehyun said, zooming in on Youngjae’s face.

    “Tomorrow?” Youngjae frowned, his mouth opening slightly as he thought. “I… don’t know. Is there something special?”

    Daehyun was quiet, and the camera didn’t move.

    “That’s not very funny, Youngjae,” he finally said, and the tone of his voice made me frown. I knew that tone. It was what Daehyun sounded like when he was trying not to show how disappointed and sad he was.

    Youngjae blinked, tilting his head back as he thought. There was silence for a long time, and finally the camera turned away, the view tipping to the ground.

    “Nevermind.” Daehyun mumbled, the camera pointing at his feet as he ran up the stairs. Youngjae called out for him but Daehyun slammed the door behind him and turned the camera so it was recording his face.

    “He forgot my birthday.” He paused and laughed. Even I could tell it was fake. He closed his eyes and turned off the camera.

    There was a few moments of darkness and then a new recording started, with a time stamp for the following day. This time the camera was focused on Yoo Youngjae from the start, though he was not the one holding it. It became clear that Daehyun was not the one holding the camera when Jongup’s voice came out of the speakers.

    “He’ll be here any second. Are you ready?”

    Youngjae gave Jongup a thumbs up and flicked the light switch, turning off the lights of the living room. There was silence, broken by small whispers and giggles from who I assumed was Himchan, since both Jongup and Youngjae were in the room as well.

    The lock of the front door clicked and the door swung open, revealing a silhouette illuminated from behind.

    “Youngjae? Are you home?” Daehyun’s voice was tired, and there was a series of small noises as his hand d for the light switch. He found it and the lights. As soon as he did, all three of the other people in the room shouted out “Surprise!” and Himchan threw a handful of confetti into Daehyun’s hair.

    Daehyun blinked, stunned, and looked around, clutching a bag of groceries to his chest.

    “I… what’s going on?” He asked, glancing at the three. Youngjae stepped forward and kissed Daehyun. My fists clenched. I forced my muscles to relax.

    “You didn’t really think I forgot your birthday, did you?” Yoo Youngjae was asking, smiling at Daehyun and running a thumb along Daehyun’s jaw. “I’d never forget that.”

    Daehyun smiled, his hands coming up to curl around Youngjae’s wrists and he tilted his head forward slightly, touching his forehead to Youngjae’s.

    Jongup coughed and both Daehyun and Yoo Youngjae jumped, looking at him and the camera.

    “Not that it isn’t fun watching you two be gross together, but I was promised cake.”

    Daehyun’s smile returned and he looked at Youngjae, raising an eyebrow.

    “You baked me a cake?” He asked, his voice teasing and lilting slightly.

    Youngjae’s cheeks colored and he looked down.

    “Uh, well, no. I mean, I tried but I don’t know what I did wrong, it came out looking like charcoal. So I bought you a cake.”

    Himchan brought out a cylindrical object covered in a brown substance. I did a quick search and was bombarded with far too many pictures of chocolate cake. There were ten candles burning on top of the cake. Daehyun swayed happily as the three others sang a song to him, and when they were finished, he blew out the candles. He plucked the candles from the frosting and them clean, and then he cut the cake into thick slices, handing one to each of the others before taking one himself.

    From his expression, the cake was enjoyable. He sat next to Yoo Youngjae, their thighs touching, and every once in a while Youngjae would reach over and wipe Daehyun’s mouth with a napkin, saying something about how messy Daehyun was. I recalled how Daehyun’s expression had frozen when I did something similar. It had reminded him of Yoo Youngjae. I did not like it.

    I closed my eyes and leaned against the couch. I did not want to watch more. I did not want to see all of the things that Yoo Youngjae had done and that I had somehow imitated. I did not want to see how much Daehyun still loved Youngjae.

    What was this emotion, if it was an emotion. I wanted to close my eyes and cover my ears and block Yoo Youngjae from entering my receptors.

    There were more vids. Many more. I did not watch them. I ran diagnostics on my systems and did a full physical scan. I reorganized my filing system. I turned off my hearing receptors so I didn’t have to hear Yoo Youngjae’s laughter.

    When the final vid ended, I opened my eyes, and the fact that Yoo Youngjae’s face was no longer on the screen made the urge to deny his existence dissipate somewhat.

    I looked at the three on the couch just as Himchan yawned, his head on Jongup’s shoulder. Jongup was looking at him with the same expression I had seen in Youngjae’s eyes as he looked at Daehyun. My hands curled into fists again and I had to uncurl them with some effort.

    “We should be getting home,” Jongup said, standing up slowly and helping Himchan stand as well. “It’s been a long day.”

    Daehyun nodded, standing up and walking with them to the door. I stood slowly, approaching them as well. Daehyun embraced them and smiled, his hands fidgeting like they usually did when he was embarrassed.

    “Thank you for… thank you.” He finally told them. “I don’t think I could have gone to see him without you both.”

    Himchan hugged Daehyun once more and Jongup reached out to squeeze his shoulder, locking eyes with Daehyun and giving him a small nod.

    Himchan and Jongup lingered long enough to put on their shoes and their coats, and then they left, the door swinging shut behind them. Daehyun took his time turning the locks, pausing between each click. I did not know why. When the last deadbolt slid home, he turned to me and met my gaze.

    We stood there, studying each other, for 47 seconds. I was ordering my thoughts and finding the correct way to say what I needed to discuss with him.

    Before I was completely finished, Daehyun spoke, leaning back against the door.

    “I’m sorry.” He said, his eyes dropping from mine to stare at the floor. “I… I didn’t mean to make you think that everything you did made me uncomfortable.”

    I blinked and considered this. Truly, I had not taken that from his words, but now that I reviewed my data, his reaction to most of my actions was some form of unease.

    I allowed myself a few more moments to order my words, adding this new information, before speaking.

    “I was not built to experience emotions,” I began. “So when you told me that you could not reciprocate my ‘feelings’ as you called them, I did not understand why you said that.” 

    Perhaps he would understand. Or he would help me understand. Daehyun was frowning. I continued.

    “When Himchan and Jongup came today, I decided to talk to them. After all, at least one of them would be able to explain emotion to me. I spoke with Jongup, and while speaking with them, I realized that somehow, I… I did have emotions.”

    Here I paused, frowning. I still did not understand how it was possible. I had been told since my activation that I did not have emotions, since emotions would interfere with my decision making capabilities. They would give me unnecessary empathy towards anyone who I was ordered to kill. They would run contrary to my programming, and therefore, I did not need them.

    Daehyun was staring at me, and I did not know what he was thinking, so I simply spoke.

    “I do not know if these emotions are… love.” I said the last word with some hesitation, and Daehyun jerked as though I’d hit him. “But I do know that I have them, and that when I am staying here in this house, I am happy.”

    Daehyun opened his mouth and then closed it, watching me. I closed my eyes.

    “If I make you uncomfortable with this, then I will leave. I do not wish to cause you distress.”

    The silence afterwards lasted for 13 seconds.

    “Don’t be stupid,” Daehyun whispered, and my eyes opened as I felt his arms wrap around my waist and squeeze tightly. “I’m not going to throw you out. Don’t even think about that, okay?”

    I blinked, slowly, and nodded, hugging Daehyun back. I liked this. I liked holding him. I knew he drew comfort from it, he’d told me before how he’d always been a ‘touchy’ person, and that was another reason to indulge him. I felt myself smile as I rested my cheek on his hair.

    Daehyun finally pulled away and smiled at me. A smile was better on his face that a frown or that strange blankness.

    “I’ll need to put the leftovers away.” He ran a hand through his hair and went to the kitchen, sealing up the containers of curry and rice and putting them into the fridge.

    The fridge.

    “Daehyun.” I watched him as he ran the dishes under the water to get the worst of the curry off. He hummed but did not turn around.

    “Daehyun, this is the first time you’ve eaten since we went to get groceries, isn’t it?”

    He went still and I waited. I required an answer.

    “No,” he finally said, barely audible over the running water.

    “Do not lie to me.” I frowned and moved closer to him. He did not look at me. I fixed my eyes on his profile as I continued. “The food we bought weeks ago is still untouched. I never see you eat when we are together, and we are together through the times humans usually take their meals.”

    He turned off the water and looked at me, his eyes roaming over my face.

    “So what are you saying, Zelo?” He asked me, looking straight into my eyes.

    “Why aren’t you eating?” I asked it plainly. I did not want him to avoid the question.

    “I am eating. Just… not healthy stuff…” He chewed on his lip. “I… there’s junk food all over the house… sometimes I don’t feel like cooking so I just grab some chips or something.”

    Daehyun sighed and looked away, running his hands through his hair.

    “I know it’s not good, Youngjae used to call me out on it all the time. I just get busy and I lose track of time and then I get hungry and I just eat whatever’s easiest.”

    I frowned. This was not healthy at all. Daehyun was not getting the nutrients he needed.

    “I could make food for you.” My words came out before I fully considered them and I blinked, unsure as to how Daehyun would react to them.

    Daehyun stared at me and then laughed, his eyes disappearing into crescents. I was not sure what was so funny to him.

    “You want to cook for me?” He finally spat out between giggles.

    I tilted my head to the side.

    “I think that I can put together a sandwich for you. Or chop up vegetables for a salad. If you will not care for yourself then I will at least ensure that you are properly fed.”

    Daehyun laughed again, softer this time, and he patted my arm, smiling up at me.

    “Thanks, Zelo. I appreciate that. You don’t have to make three meals a day, but you’re right, I should be eating more than once a day.”

    I nodded and picked up one of the dirty plates, placing it in the dishwasher.

    “There is something that has been bothering me,” I told him, changing the subject as I placed the other dirty dishes into the machine and selected a wash cycle.

    “Hm? What’s that?” Daehyun was putting the last of the rice into a plastic container and he spilled a bit as he looked at me.

    “Himchan and Jongup. You told me one of them was a robot.” I started the dishwasher and turned my full attention to Daehyun.

    He snapped a lid onto the container of rice and tapped it with his fingers, running his tongue over his bottom lip.

    “Yes, I suppose I did, didn’t I?” His voice was thoughtful, and as he slid the rice into the fridge I continued my thought.

    “I have studied them as best I could from our limited time together, and still I do not know which is human and which is a robot. You will not tell me. Is this because you believe me untrustworthy? I can assure you I would not disclose their location to RCS.”

    Daehyun shook his head immediately.

    “No, no, it’s not like that. It’s just not my secret to tell, that’s all.” He peered at me, a little smile curving his lips. “You’re quite curious, aren’t you?”

    “They are a puzzle I cannot solve. There are incongruities within both, enough to give me reason to suspect each, but not enough to come to a concrete conclusion. It is… frustrating.” I frowned, reviewing what I knew about both.

    “But why does it matter so much to you? Would it change how you looked at them? Would you treat them any differently?” Daehyun turned to face me, a strange expression on his face. It looked almost desperate. I tilted my head to the side, studying his face.

    “No. Of course not. I am in no position to treat them differently. If anything, I would want to talk to them about these ‘emotions’ I am currently experiencing. It is rather confusing for me.”

    Daehyun laughed, short and cut off, and turned his head, looking out of the window.

    “I suppose it wouldn’t change anything, would it?” He sighed and tapped his fingers on the edge of the sink, his eyebrows pulling together. “I’d like to say it didn’t change how I looked at them, but for a while I wondered… were their feelings real? Could you really… program a robot to love you? Is that really love, if they don’t have a choice?”

    I did not have an answer. By Daehyun’s logic, Himchan’s and Jongup’s emotions were fabricated. But I had seen them together. I had seen the evidence of love. I saw how Jongup’s hands were always gentle when he touched Himchan, and how his smile came easily when Himchan looked at him. I saw how Himchan was always touching Jongup, always smiling at him, always connected to him somehow. I considered their love to be real. But perhaps I was biased. I was, myself, a robot. A robot with emotions. One of them was like me, of course I would consider their emotions to be real. If theirs were fake, then mine were fake. I did not like the thought.

    “They are happy.” I finally told Daehyun, who was still staring off into the distance. “Himchan and Jongup are happy.”

    Daehyun finally smiled and faced me.

    “Yeah. They are, aren’t they?”

    “I believe I am happy too,” I said, and Daehyun laughed.

    “Then you should be smiling, Zelo! That’s what people do when they’re happy.”

    I laughed, or at least I tried to, my mouth curving up as little bursts of sound came out of my throat.

    I stopped short as Daehyun’s hands cupped my face, his thumb pressing into a spot on my cheek.

    “You’ve got dimples… why did they design a weapon with dimples?” He mumbled, thumbs over my skin.

    He didn’t seem to expect an answer, which was just as well since I didn’t have one for him. He his lips. They were very pink, but slightly chapped, since Daehyun always lost his lip balm. I was sure that somewhere in the house there was a small pile of lip balm tubes. I would have to buy him a new tube the next time I left the house.

    Without warning Daehyun pressed his lips to mine. I did not know how to respond. I had never written a program for this situation. I searched my memory for something, anything, any kind of response. I took too long, however, and Daehyun was stepping away, biting into his bottom lip and looking at me with nervous eyes as he lowered his hands from my face.

    “I…” He started, before closing his mouth again, his eyes flickering between my own. “I’m sorry.”

    I was confused. I saw nothing that he should be apologizing for. I considered saying something, but then he was pulling away, his face closing down. I suspended my speech and grabbed his face, leaning down to kiss him. I had no experience in it and I felt our teeth click, but I didn’t care. Daehyun clung to my biceps, pressing back against me.

    I wished I could feel the warmth of his skin. I wished I could taste him. I wished I was human and could love him. I did love him. It did not matter that he was human and I was not. I loved him.

    Daehyun was the one to pull away first, his eyes half closed and his lips parted as he panted. I ran my thumb over his pink cheek, admiring the color. I had caused that. It made me happy.

    He lifted his eyes to look at me and he smiled, his eyes softening.

    “Sleep in my room tonight?” Daehyun ran his hands up my arms to rest them on my shoulders, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

    “If you’d like that.” I said, letting myself smile a little. Daehyun took my hands and led me to his room. I had only been in this room once before, and it had not changed. There was the bed, the dresser, the rumpled sheets, and the closet with the door slightly ajar.

    Daehyun quickly crossed the room and shut the door to the closet, turning and resting his back against it as he smiled at me. I sat on the bed and tugged off my jeans, leaving me in my shirt and underwear. Daehyun changed behind my back and then joined me on the bed, dressed in an plain white shirt and loose shorts. I blinked at his prone body, unsure what he wanted me to do. He rolled his eyes and pulled me down beside him, pulling the sheets over my legs and waist. I stared at him, and then mirrored his position: lying on my side, one arm supporting my head and the other resting on the sheets between our bodies. He scooted closer to me, a small smile still on his face, and after a few seconds I mirrored his action, my lips twitching up.

    Biting back a laugh, Daehyun curled an arm around my waist and looked up at me, his palm resting on the small of my back. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead, using less force this time. When I pulled away, his eyes were closed.

    “Goodnight, Daehyun.” I said, my hand finding his elbow and holding it.

    “Goodnight,” He seemed to be already close to sleep, his words soft and slurred. It was early for him to go to bed, but it had been a day full of emotional and physical turmoil. I waited until his breathing slowed and evened out, and then I set my sleep cycle. I kept my eyes on Daehyun until the timer sent me into sleep mode.

    4 hours and 37 minutes later, I was jerked out of sleep mode by gunfire.

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A/N: Why hello there everyone. Yes I am very mean and lazy and I'm sorry, hopefully this nice long chapter is ok. I love you all, thank you for staying with me. There might be some editing later but I'm sleepy rn. Thank you for reading!