2009

We sat in a circle, too nervous to talk but the tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. Today was the day our primary school assessments results would be out. It was a national exam, so the whole country had to sit for the same papers.

It was nothing much really, it’s not like if you didn’t get straight A’s your future would be doomed or something. It was only a primary assessment, people would only care during your first year of middle school, they would forget about it afterward.

But it was important to us. Why ? Because we where in the top class. We have to get good results. What’s more, is the fact that our families were unbelivably expectant of us. They expected their sons to be high achievers and to keep on getting good results to beat others and show that ‘my son is the best’.

I looked around the school yard, at the students from the ‘lower class’, playingg without a care. You could honestly tell what class a kid belonged to by the way we were acting. The first class students were moping around, worried out of our minds for our results, the middle class students were playing quietly, worried but not half crazy with worry. While the lower class students played around, not at all worried. Sigh. I wish i was like them.

I looked around again, this time towards my four friends. Gunwoo, Siwan, Kevin, and Haewon. Gunwoo and i had been friends since we where 7, while i got to know the rest when i was 9. I was initially the closest to Gunwoo, but somehow we drifted apart and now im the closest to Kevin. But this year i got close with Gunwoo back. Thing is, Gunwoo had been depressed lately due to problems back home and had been using me as his punching bag. He would smack and push my head a lot but teachers and friends alike would think that its just friendly banter. Thing is, i dont complain, ad finished.even when my head almost hit the leg of a table. So, how could  i expect anyone to reprimand him, even when i desperately wished someone would ?

Kevin was small, but incredibly talented in arts and music. Also, he was incredibly nice, so much so he could stand the bratty me. Yeap. Im a big baby and a total brat. As for Haewon and Siwan, they were both incredibly blessed, brains, beauty, riches, manners.

The time finally came. Our results will be announced. Did they honestly have to announce it ? Ugh. Among us, only Siwan’s parents came.

I sat next to a shy, quiet kid called Dari. Turns out his name was the first name called out for the straight A results. How lucky.

Then after a few names, my name was called. I did it ! i got straight As !  Then, my friend’s names came up. First Kevin, then Haewon, Gunwoo, then Siwan. We cheered while huggng each other. Our parents cant compare us with each other cause we all got straight As ! Bouya. Hah, we were so happy Gunwoo and Siwan started crying.

After everyone’s names had been called and the announcement had finished, i called my parents. I called mom first, and all she said was “Oh really ? Oh ok, bye” then she hung up. Wait, that’s it ? No ‘Congratulations !’ or ‘Good job !’ or even a ‘Well done” ? Seriously ? That’s i t ?  Your son got straight A’s and you didnt even congratulate him ? Really ?

I called dad, and he answered with “Ok. Congrats. Bye.” Not too far off from Mom’s answer, but at least he congratulated me.

But really, im hurt beyond words. But i was too happy that moment it didnt register. Now, it did.  Didnt know it then, but this incident engraved itself in my memory that i cant just simply forgive and forget.

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A/N : This is a true story. Some thingss have been changed to fit the storyline. The character descriptions are of real people, its just the names that have been changed. If you recognize yourself, well then good.

In other news, Im baaaccckkkk ~ hello peeps ~ sorry ive been gone so long. Myexamsfinished in November, but i was so busy holidaying that i only pulled my together very recently.

Also, ive decided to use this as my diary so ill label it wth story for my story, and diary for my diary. Yep. You'll finally kow what a person with an eating disorder really thinks (why am i acting like i have readers when i dont heh).

So enjoy ~