You're So Clueless.
Always.
He couldn't help it. He couldn't help the fact that he'd fallen in love with the wrong person, nor could he help the fact that the person he'd fallen in love with wanted nothing to do with him. At least, that's what he'd thought, anyway. Seunghyun had always had a flare for the dramatic, or maybe it was just that he was sensitive. Probably the latter.
But at the moment, it was just him and his guitar, and Seunghyun couldn't have asked for much else, except maybe a glass of water. Yeah, a glass of water would be nice. Or milk. Or juice for that matter, and maybe a back massage... Okay, so the truth is, he actually could have asked for a great number of things, but he was pretty content just having his guitar sitting on his lap and melody flooding his ears. His eyes were closed, and although it seemed like that would be counteracticve to the whole process of playing guitar and whatnot, Seunghyun had played this particular song so many times that he could easily play it with his eyes shut as long as he started in the right place. As he played, the music spoke to him. And although the music itself told the story, the feel gave the details and twists that the melody itself just couldn't comprehend. The ridges on the guitar strings, sliding under his fingers, then pressing into his callouses as he shaped a chord. The feel of the vibration as he passed his pick over the strings to make the music itself come to life. No, nothing would have been right without the feel.
But sadly, both the song and the feel had to come to an end after approximately four minutes, which was about the average length of a song if you're counting. And though they both would always remain within him until he next lifted his guitar, it just wasn't the same.
Seunghyun paused a moment after the song finished, keep his eyes closed as he tried to pick out the last echoes of the final chord as the resonated through the walls. The floor creaking brought him out of his reverie and his eyes opened, only to find Hongki less than an inch in front of his face. Seunghyun could feel his face heating up and cursed his embarrassment. "Ah... Hongki? What are you doing?" he asked, leaning away slightly.
"Watching," Hongki answered him, saying it like it was the simplest thing in the world. He made no move to back up or, in fact, to do anything that would require movement.
"Ah, hyung, can you...back up a little?" Seunghyun asked, a bit confused at Hongki's actions.
The elder seemed to think it through for a moment before saying, "No, I think that would be counterproductive."
Seunghyun was completely and totally confused. Yes, Hongki was odd, but usually he wasn't like...this. Seunghyun could actually feel Hongki's blond hair tickling his own forehead - that's how close they were. And Seunghyun was pretty sure that he would find himself in a most compromising situation very soon.
And he was most definitely right.
The guitarist tried scooting his chair back a little bit, but in the process he ended up losing his balance and toppling over. His foot, which he'd hooked behind the leg of the chair, ended up being pulled too hard by the momentum and his ankle twisted. And as if to add isult to injury, the head of his guitar scratched his forehead, leaving a scrape that seemed to say, "Hey! Look at this clumsy oaf!"
As Seunghyun was gathering his wits about him, he heard footsteps hurrying around to his side. "Omo! Seunghyun-ah, are you alright?" Hongki asked, righting the chair and removing the guitar from Seunghyun's chest before leaning it against the wall.
A bit dazed, Seunghyun answered him. "Y-yeah...fine..." He shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts, then sat upright, waiting for the room to stop spinning before pushing himself to his feet. He stumbled immediately due to his twisted ankle, and Hongki caught him and kept him from falling. Consequently, that meant that Hongki's arm was now firmly around his waist and Seunghyun had quite a bit of babying to put up with before he could convince Hongki to let go of his waist. Because surely he couldn't tell Hongki that he thought he was going to have a heart attack because of his touch. That would be wrong, very wrong, and Hongki would hate him forever.
"You're not fine," Hongki protested. "You can barely walk." That wasn't precisely true, considering Seungyun could probably limp if he really needed to get anywhere. But then again, limping isn't the same thing as walking.
Hongki tightened his grip around the younger's waist, helping him onto the couch in the living room. "You stay here, okay? I'm gonna go get you an ice pack and a band-aid." After ruffling Seunghyun's hair once, Hongki dashed off again, returning in a few moments with the objects aforementioned.
"Hyung, I-" Seunghyun began, but he was cut off by Hongki poking his cheek and shushing him.
"Hush... I need...complete...concentration...to...put...this...on...right..." Hongki's tongue poked out of his mouth slightly as he concentrated on getting the band-aid in the right place on Seunghyun's forehead. "...There!" he exclaimed after a moment, a victorious smile on his face. Then he stuffed some ice into a towel and wrapped it around Seunghyun's ankle. "It's not broken, right? 'Cuz if it's broken, then-"
"No, hyung, nothing's broken," Seunghyun said with a light smile. "I'm fine, thank you for taking care of me."
Hongki smiled widely. "Anything for my dongsaengs," he said, ruffling Seunghyun's hair again.
"Yah, hyung, you know it I hate it when you do that," Seunghyun pouted.
Hongki ruffled his hair again, smirking. "I know. That's why I do it." Hongki sat on the couch beside Seunghyun, resting his arm around the guitarist's shoulders as he usually did. And as always, the contact made Seunghyun's heart race and he could only hope that Hongki wouldn't feel his pulse.
But at the moment, it was just him and his guitar, and Seunghyun couldn't have asked for much else, except maybe a glass of water. Yeah, a glass of water would be nice. Or milk. Or juice for that matter, and maybe a back massage... Okay, so the truth is, he actually could have asked for a great number of things, but he was pretty content just having his guitar sitting on his lap and melody flooding his ears. His eyes were closed, and although it seemed like that would be counteracticve to the whole process of playing guitar and whatnot, Seunghyun had played this particular song so many times that he could easily play it with his eyes shut as long as he started in the right place. As he played, the music spoke to him. And although the music itself told the story, the feel gave the details and twists that the melody itself just couldn't comprehend. The ridges on the guitar strings, sliding under his fingers, then pressing into his callouses as he shaped a chord. The feel of the vibration as he passed his pick over the strings to make the music itself come to life. No, nothing would have been right without the feel.
But sadly, both the song and the feel had to come to an end after approximately four minutes, which was about the average length of a song if you're counting. And though they both would always remain within him until he next lifted his guitar, it just wasn't the same.
Seunghyun paused a moment after the song finished, keep his eyes closed as he tried to pick out the last echoes of the final chord as the resonated through the walls. The floor creaking brought him out of his reverie and his eyes opened, only to find Hongki less than an inch in front of his face. Seunghyun could feel his face heating up and cursed his embarrassment. "Ah... Hongki? What are you doing?" he asked, leaning away slightly.
"Watching," Hongki answered him, saying it like it was the simplest thing in the world. He made no move to back up or, in fact, to do anything that would require movement.
"Ah, hyung, can you...back up a little?" Seunghyun asked, a bit confused at Hongki's actions.
The elder seemed to think it through for a moment before saying, "No, I think that would be counterproductive."
Seunghyun was completely and totally confused. Yes, Hongki was odd, but usually he wasn't like...this. Seunghyun could actually feel Hongki's blond hair tickling his own forehead - that's how close they were. And Seunghyun was pretty sure that he would find himself in a most compromising situation very soon.
And he was most definitely right.
The guitarist tried scooting his chair back a little bit, but in the process he ended up losing his balance and toppling over. His foot, which he'd hooked behind the leg of the chair, ended up being pulled too hard by the momentum and his ankle twisted. And as if to add isult to injury, the head of his guitar scratched his forehead, leaving a scrape that seemed to say, "Hey! Look at this clumsy oaf!"
As Seunghyun was gathering his wits about him, he heard footsteps hurrying around to his side. "Omo! Seunghyun-ah, are you alright?" Hongki asked, righting the chair and removing the guitar from Seunghyun's chest before leaning it against the wall.
A bit dazed, Seunghyun answered him. "Y-yeah...fine..." He shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts, then sat upright, waiting for the room to stop spinning before pushing himself to his feet. He stumbled immediately due to his twisted ankle, and Hongki caught him and kept him from falling. Consequently, that meant that Hongki's arm was now firmly around his waist and Seunghyun had quite a bit of babying to put up with before he could convince Hongki to let go of his waist. Because surely he couldn't tell Hongki that he thought he was going to have a heart attack because of his touch. That would be wrong, very wrong, and Hongki would hate him forever.
"You're not fine," Hongki protested. "You can barely walk." That wasn't precisely true, considering Seungyun could probably limp if he really needed to get anywhere. But then again, limping isn't the same thing as walking.
Hongki tightened his grip around the younger's waist, helping him onto the couch in the living room. "You stay here, okay? I'm gonna go get you an ice pack and a band-aid." After ruffling Seunghyun's hair once, Hongki dashed off again, returning in a few moments with the objects aforementioned.
"Hyung, I-" Seunghyun began, but he was cut off by Hongki poking his cheek and shushing him.
"Hush... I need...complete...concentration...to...put...this...on...right..." Hongki's tongue poked out of his mouth slightly as he concentrated on getting the band-aid in the right place on Seunghyun's forehead. "...There!" he exclaimed after a moment, a victorious smile on his face. Then he stuffed some ice into a towel and wrapped it around Seunghyun's ankle. "It's not broken, right? 'Cuz if it's broken, then-"
"No, hyung, nothing's broken," Seunghyun said with a light smile. "I'm fine, thank you for taking care of me."
Hongki smiled widely. "Anything for my dongsaengs," he said, ruffling Seunghyun's hair again.
"Yah, hyung, you know it I hate it when you do that," Seunghyun pouted.
Hongki ruffled his hair again, smirking. "I know. That's why I do it." Hongki sat on the couch beside Seunghyun, resting his arm around the guitarist's shoulders as he usually did. And as always, the contact made Seunghyun's heart race and he could only hope that Hongki wouldn't feel his pulse.
After a while, Seunghyun felt Hongki's head fall onto his shoulder and he looked over to find that the singer had fallen asleep. He smiled, and took the risk of pressing his lips gently to the top of Hongki's head. "You're so clueless," he said quietly, so he wouldn't wake up the vocalist. "I'm obvious about loving you, why can't you see it?" Seunghyun sighed and leaned his head on top of Hongki's.
~~~ One Week Later ~~~
Flashback
Seunghyun was walking down the hallway to his own room, yawning because he obviously tired. But what he saw through an open door into Jaejin's room was shocking enough to kick him right back into wakefulness.
They were kissing. Jaejin's lips were against Hongki's and that was all the guitarist could comprehend. He turned and ran down the hallway, hearing footsteps pounding after him, but he didn't care. He didn't care even when he heard Hongki's voice call his name frantically. He had one thing on his mind and one thing only.
End Flashback
And Seunghyun was still running. He ran until his legs burned and his lungs were about ready to explode, his head pounding along with the quick beating of his heart.
"Seunghyun!" came Hongki's voice, tired and panting and he obviously wasn't going to be able to chase Seunghyun for much longer. Which shouldn't be a problem. This is where Seunghyun wanted to be anyway.
"What, Hongki?!" Seunghyun called back, stopping and leaning against the railing of the bridge as cars drove by. Hongki crossed the road after a moment.
"What do you think you're doing?!" the singer asked in a panic.
Seunghyun stepped over the barrier between the edge of the bridge and the road before answering. "I'm making things right... I loved you, but you were too blind to see that! All I wanted was one chance, Hongki, one chance! I would have been perfectly happy with just that, but you couldn't even do that and instead you went with Jaejin! I was being obvious, hoping you'd take the hint and at least consider me, but I guess I wasn't obvius enough, or maybe you were just too clueless. Get it, Hongki? You can be happy now, without me interfering with your life."
"Seunghyun, don't do this," Hongki pleaded, walking towards Seunghyun and extending his hand in a begging gesture.
The guitarist took his hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed it as a light smile formed on his face. "Thank you for this last memory. I appretiate your effort to make me feel better, but sometimes it's not enough. Goodbye. I love you, Lee Hongki. I always have."
Seunghyun let go of the singer's hand, took a step backward...and fell.
~~~
Hongki was a mess. He knew he'd never get through Seunghyun's funeral without crying. It was worse than he thought, though. They were all broken when Hongki came home red-eyed and sobbing to tell them what had happened to Seunghyun. Jaejin would try to cheer Hongki up, but the singer would ignore him, and if he persisted, he would yell at the bassist that everything was his fault, then go into his room and slam the door hard enough to make everyone in the house jump.
Seunghyun's funeral was really a miserable occurance. Not only was everyone in tears, but there was no Seunghyun there. His body wasn't found afterwards, so all they had for the funeral was a picture of him. And Hongki hadn't stopped staring at that picture once. He stood in front of it, just looking at it. Even through the service, he just stood there, not moving, not reacting, just him, his tears, and the picture of Seunghyun.
Eventually, after most of the people had dispersed, only the rest of F.T. Island remained, waiting for Hongki to react so they could take him home.
Hongki took a deep breath and spoke to the picture. "You were so clueless," he whispered as more tears fell down his cheeks. "I was obvious about loving you, why couldn't you see it?" Hongki wiped the tears from his cheeks, only to have them replaced by more drops. "I loved you, Song Seunghyun. I still love you." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the cold glass of the picture. Then he drew back and walked away.
He would always love Seunghyun. He would be in his heart forever. There might be others, but none of them would be just like Seunghyun. No one was like Seunghyun. And Seunghyun was who Hongki would always love.
Always.
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