Almost There. 

July 2011.

Ft. WooTae. 

She sat amidst the depleted room; back against the wall, legs crossed, and lips not daring to utter a single sound. Her eyes darts around, glancing back and forth between him and the piano standing firmly against the cold wooden floor. The solemn look on his face told her that it wasn’t the usual Wooyoung that she knew. He wasn’t talking or bouncing around like usual, which frightened her, to be completely honest. 

——-

“Your voice is amazing. Everything about you is so spectacular. A-And I find myself crying to all your songs and that’s not ideal cause I’m a guy but I’ve never thought of how much music could mean to someone. You’re so inspirational and I can’t help but find myself being lost in that voice of yours. And I… I LOVE you.” 

Her eyes lift from the novel at the sound of his eager speech. She an eyebrow at the man in front of her, not knowing what to make of these kind of situation. His eyes were dead locked on hers, and she squirmed a bit under the instensity. 

It was only their second meeting and he was already professing his undying love for her. Can’t say that she’s not surprise, Yuri had always dawned him as the ‘fast-paced’ kind. 

“Thank you. But I’m s—”

He had shushed her with his index finger and she was kind of glad because rejection was the hardest thing to do. “Don’t say that you’re sorry. Because really, there’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same because this is pretty sudden.” A little smile danced on his lips and she nodded back in return. “I just wanted to get it out before I explode.”

As he turn to walk away, she made a mental note to herself. Jang Wooyoung; a weird one. 

——-

Exactly how she felt when she first found out that he was dating the new girl is still a blur to her. It’s not that he wasn’t able to see anyone. But she couldn’t help but wonder, why? After that soul-wrenching confession, why did he suddenly jump into the arms of another woman? 

Not that it was any of her business, really. But up until the moment she found out, she had always thought that he was hers, whether she wanted him or not. And it bothered her greatly that he was still claiming himself as her number one fan when he was dating the competition. 

“What’s up?” He asked suddenly, completely oblivious to the frown on her face. 

“You tell me.” She replied, her patience taxed to the utmost. 

“How am I suppose to tell you if you’re being so unreasonable!” 

“Me? Unreasonable, really?” She snapped, shooting him a bewildering glare. “Says you, who was suppose to be my number one fan!” 

Wooyoung’s hands took a hold of her frail shoulders, forcing her to face him. But she doesn’t, not right now. “Taeng, what are you talking about?” 

“You said you loved me.” She said, her eyes still wandering around. 

“And I still do. From the very first time we met, to this day. Trust me when I say that I’ll love you, Taeng. Even if you don’t.” 

——-

She’s glad that she agreed to this relationship because he was just so… perfect, and unrealistic. And he was perfectly hers, only her. 

He write songs with her, plays the piano, dances, sings, and makes her feel like the most important person in the world. He’s understandable when it comes to her schedules, admirable when it comes to working hard, and completely trust-able when it comes to committing a relationship. 

He reminds her everyday of how much he loves her with the same three words. 

“I love you, more than anything in the world.” 

But she feels as if she doesn’t love him enough, at least not in the way that he deserves to be loved. 

“I love you too.” 

And so she lies, because the more she said it, the more convinced she is that she’s actually in love with him. And that’s what she wants; to be in love with the man who also loves her.

——-

Horror struck her face as she finally realized that she had just walked in on her boyfriend in bed with her best friend. Silence screeched the eerie air as she points to her friend, “You, get out. Right. Now.” 

As the girl scurried off the bed and out to the front door, Taeyeon reached up to her face, attempting to wipe off the tears, because she was so sure that it’s full of streaming hot tears by now.

But it isn’t. And that surprised her more than anybody else.  

“You slept with someone.” She murmurs in a low voice. 

“Yes.” 

——-

She sat amidst the depleted room; back against the wall, legs crossed, and lips not daring to utter a single sound. Her eyes darts around, glancing back and forth between him and the piano standing firmly against the cold wooden floor. The solemn look on his face told her that it wasn’t the usual Wooyoung that she knew. He wasn’t talking or bouncing around like usual, which frightened her, to be completely honest. 

“Why haven’t you asked me?” He finally broke the silence, but his eyes still fixed on the black piano. 

“About what?” She knew what he was talking about. But she didn’t want to recognize it. 

“That I cheated on you. Don’t you want to know why?” 

Silence once again filled the dreary air and finally, she stood up. Still, she refuses to answer his question and walk towards the piano they’ve both been eyeing. But he has had enough of this, all of this. His hands grabbed her smaller ones as he turned her around abruptly, determined to get some answers. 

“No, Wooyoung, I don’t want to know why!” She snapped, wrenching her wrist from his grasp. “I tried to get over it, I tried to let it go, and I’m trying so damn hard to forgive you. But all you want is to bring it up and talk about it. Why can’t you understand that I simply don’t want to talk about my boyfriend being in bed with my best friend?!” 

“You… You’re not trying.” 

“W-What?” 

“You can’t forgive me because you were never mad in the first place. When you saw me with Tiffany, it didn’t even hurt, did it? Just like the first time I told you that I loved you, nothing really changed, did it? Because from the very start, it was always an unrequited love.” 

His eyes beams an undeniable combination of hurt and betrayal. The stars that used to spark so brightly in his eyes seems to have dispersed into thin air that night. And she questions if she was the one that caused it. But she doesn’t want to accept it. She can’t be held responsible for anyone’s sadness, especially Wooyoung’s. 

The lie was already dancing its way onto her lips, and she wants to say it, because she truly believed that she was falling in love with him. 

“I just need to hear you say it, Taeyeon. Just once. From the bottom of your heart.” He breathed, caressing her cheeks. 

She was prepared to repeat it and be accepted. But the words won’t come out, and she feels her whole body freeze. 

“I-I can’t..” 

——-

She misses him; his smiles, his scent, his goofy humor, and the stars which shined so brightly in his eyes. The night seems darker these days and the change in his disappearance was becoming clearer to her every day. 

Everything was much more apparent now than it was before. She didn’t want to admit then, and until now, she still doesn’t want to face the fact that he was gone. She waited, and waited… and waited, for the same face to come back, telling her that he had gone on a business trip of some sort, and that he was finally back. 

But he wasn’t. Not now, not ever. 

Some days, she would sit inside that taunting room; back against the wall like the last time, and dream of his scent, his touch, and his voice. That ever-so heart-wrenching voice that echoed words she’d rather not hear. Words that reminded her of the memories of yesterday, and words that painted such vivid pictures of what was supposed to be their happily ever after. 

Months passed and years swept by as quickly as seasons had changed. New artists took over the world that was once important to her- to them. The birds outside her house sang a different melody now, and time had left the past in dust. And yet, she still find herself in that same room. However, three years and his voice seems to escape her mind already. Still, she desperately clings onto those words, for they were the only thing that could revive those precious memories of hers. But simply trying to remember them was not enough, time wouldn’t allow it.. 

And so, desperately, she began to chant the cursed words which haunts her soul. Those words which he left behind so ruthlessly; those words that sang of their broken dreams..

Those words that gradually became her whole world.. 

Yes, those words. 

“We were so close..” 

——-

The end. 

——-