The curtain falls for the final time, officially ending their performance, and everyone claps, gathering around them to exchange congratulations and hearty, satisfied pats on the back. It is Yunho’s job to give a short speech of thanks, and Changmin knows Yunho is much too polite to refuse, so he moves to the very back of the crowd, trying to escape the stuffiness of it all, knowing Yunho would create an excuse for his absence.

Changmin travels back to their Waiting Room, a hand against the wall as he walks. He makes it there and enters to an empty room that had been buzzing with activity only two hours before.

It is now painfully empty, the only proof of any activity, of anyone being in here was by the mess they’d left behind.

It was exactly like four years ago.

Exactly.

Changmin scrunches his eyes closed, trying to block the memory out.

The screaming, the yelling, the cursing that had signified their final day together as five. It was weird how he had been the only one crying amidst all the drama. Everyone else was fighting.

Yoochun and Yunho had been screaming at each other, throwing curses and words of malice. Jaejoong had been begging them to stop. Junsu had been busy trying to pry Changmin away from him. It was funny because it had taken Changmin a lawsuit for him to finally scream out how much he loved them, how much he needed them all together to be complete, how much he’d be willing to give them every single cent of his pay if it meant that they’d stay together.

But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough because it was too late. It was too late to fix anything and it was too late to try.

Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun had walked out, just like that.

Yunho had noticed Changmin's absence, knowing the younger needed the time alone, and let him be. He had answered the questions aimed at him with a smile, saying Changmin was unwell; he had a migraine and needed the rest.

After the speech which he had tried keep short and the crew had exchanged hugs with each other, Yunho excused himself. He had a very important person to attend to. He made way to his dressing room, knowing Changmin was stowed away in there.

No matter how far Changmin ran away, it would always be somewhere Yunho could find him. It was perhaps the golden rule of their relationship. Changmin still needed him, even if he never said it aloud.

Yunho knocked once, slipping into his dressing room, to see Changmin's back to him. He was standing right in the middle of the room, his hands curled into fists, his body tense.

"Changmin...?" Yunho's voice was whisper soft, suddenly concerned for the younger one.

Changmin didn't seem to hear him. Either that, or something was heavy on his mind.

Changmin's mind was astray, reliving the moments of that particular day over and over again. Everything was perfectly ingrained in his mind. Everything.

Jaejoong would've done something to stop it, he knew. Yoochun would've given him one last hug, one final goodbye. He'd just been too caught up fighting with Yunho he'd forgotten. That's right. It was only normal to forget, right? And Junsu, he was sure that Junsu didn't want to let go of his hand. Junsu was only playing, he'd been tired from the packing done from the night before so he'd be moody.

Desolation. Pain. Emptiness, as Changmin realised he was only creating excuses in his mind. It was sometimes a curse to be so smart. They were never coming back. They didn't even turn back as they left, so why would they turn back now?

Nearly half a decade had gone by since they'd left, but for some reason, the pain was still as strong as it was the day it happened. Why? Wasn't pain something you'd get used to? Wasn't it something that would leave you after so long?

Changmin's secretly fragile heart shattered, the same way it had shattered four years ago. It wasn't fair. Why was he left alone? Why did he choose to stay? Why did he have to pull Yunho along too, when it was evident how Yunho wanted to follow the three along.

Why was he such a burden? Why couldn't he just get things right?

Why why why why WHY?

A sob suddenly broke through the younger one, loud in the silence of the room and Yunho froze. Was he really seeing what was happening?

Changmin's hand rose to grip at his hair in frustration, his shoulders shaking in both agony and anger. He slowly fell to his knees, ignoring the painful tug of his aching muscles. It had been a long time since he's cried, and the dam that bursts from his eyes surprises even him.

Yunho considered leaving. Changmin needed the quiet time, right? He'd want the privacy. He was an adult now and not a child Yunho should keep babying.

An anguished cry from the broken Maknae made him throw the thought well over his head. Changmin needed him. And he'd be damned to ignore the flailing child.

Yunho walked slowly, cautiously, till he was standing right in front of him. Even then, Changmin didn't seem to notice him, still trapped he was in his thoughts.

Yunho didn't know what to do. Changmin was usually so strong that seeing him weak made Yunho falter. He moved by pure instincts, cupping Changmin's face in his hands, finally making the younger look up at him with wide, shocked and frightened eyes.

"No," he whimpered at the realisation that Yunho was watching him, Yunho was seeing him this weak. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

Changmin got up, intending to get the hell out of there, when Yunho grabbed him by his wrists, stopping him.

"No, no, no!" Changmin was screaming now. He was too afraid that Yunho would see him as weak, as a baby and as someone who couldn't stand on his own two feet. He couldn't be a liability to him. He couldn't.

Changmin shrieked as he struggled against the leader, trying to pry out of his hold. "You can't see me this weak," he screamed, not noticing that he was saying aloud what he thought was only in his head, "You can't see me. I'm not a liability!!"

If Yunho was losing it looking at Changmin so scared, he completely lost it when Changmin said those words. His shock had somehow loosened his hold on Changmin, letting the younger break free and run off, right out the door.

Yunho was still frozen in his position, the words that had escaped Changmin's mouth sending him reeling.

Were... Were those the thoughts that had been swirling in Changmin's head all this while? Was this why Changmin kept putting up a strong and proud image for the past few years? Was this really why he'd seemed so strong after the breakup?

Because he *didn't want to be seen as a liability*?

The words rang loud in Yunho's mind.

*'You can't see me. I'm not a liability!'*

A liability? Seriously? Why would Yunho even think him a liability? Yunho needed Changmin by his side as much as Changmin needed him. That much he knew. Changmin was still his baby, even if he was twenty four now and teetering over six foot tall.

Yunho would always, always care and love him, even with all his flaws and weaknesses.

With that revelation over, Yunho shot out the room, tempted to scream Changmin's name as he searched for him. He didn't bother calling his phone, knowing Changmin wouldn't pick up.

He was into his third minute of searching when the thought hit homerun in his head. Changmin wouldn't go far. He'd always be where Yunho could find him. Always.

But where would he be? This was a foreign country, Yunho barely knew the nearest convenience store let alone where Changmin would run.

"You searching for Min?"

Yunho turned around to see their manager standing behind him, a scowl on his face.

"Yeah. Have you seen him?"

His manager nodded. "He said he was going back to the hotel. I've never seen him in a worse mood. What's up with him?"

"I'm not really sure, but I think I should go check up on him."

"I take it the two of you aren't joining the After Party?" he asked. The AP was an SM tradition really, to celebrate the success of a concert. Most of the artists skipped it anyway, except for those wayward partiers like Heechul and Tiffany.

"No... Tell them I have something important to attend to."

His manager nodded, agreeing with him. "Make sure Changmin's okay. I'd hate to see him so moody for the rest of the week."

Yunho nodded his answer, walking back to the waiting room to retrieve their stuff before he left in a taxi.

He arrived back at the hotel in twenty minutes, knowing he'd been fooled by the taxi driver for a larger fare though he really gave it no thought as he handed him his American Express card.

He entered his shared suite with Changmin, suddenly cautious of what he'd find. But really though, this was Changmin. The worst he'd seen was Changmin falling asleep in the shower, letting the water run for a near hour.

But still, the outburst back at the concert had been *very* characteristically un-Changmin-like, so he really didn't know what to expect.

Yunho shut the door silently behind him, taking in the Executive Suite for any signs of an outburst. There were none. Had Changmin calmed down, then?

He took a few cautious steps forward, when the sound of one of the bedrooms suddenly clicked open, revealing a freshly bathed Changmin with a towel over his damp hair and a tooth brush in his mouth. It looked almost normal, almost as if nothing had happened from before.

Except for the obvious swell in Changmin's eyes and his Rudolph red nose.

Changmin looked up at Yunho's presence and for a moment, the two met eye to eye.

The pain and fear was still there, and Yunho took an unconscious step forward. Changmin reacted quickly, taking a hurried step back and slamming his bedroom door closed.

Yunho's jaw dropped in surprise at the action and once again he was torn.

To chase after him, letting his protective instincts take over, or to let him have his time alone, to let him grow used to the pain? This was reality after all. Nothing was sticky and sweet.

Yunho took an unnecessarily long time to think because really, it was just Yunho.

Finally, Yunho threw his hands over his head in defeat. To hell with all this thinking. He might as well just move with instinct.

He moved towards the door, knocking once.

"Changmin? I'm coming in."

He entered to an empty room, the sounds of Changmin washing up in the bathroom loud amidst the silence. Yunho sat himself on the bed, resting his elbows against his knees.

He waited patiently, even when the sounds of the water had shut off and the silence filled the room, knowing that Changmin was just buying time to avoid him.

"You know I'll wait here all night long if I have to."

There was a pause, before he heard a sigh coming from the bathroom. Changmin came out a few moments later, his expression sombre and unwilling, the towel still hanging limply on his head. He looked like the baby Yunho was trying so hard to not smother with his protective instincts. With his swollen red eyes and uncharacteristic pout, Changmin looked like he could pass off as fifteen.

"Changmin," Yunho started, "Come here."

Under any normal circumstances, Changmin would have argued. He would have answered him back with a sarcastic tone, a lashing tongue. But this wasn't any normal circumstance.

Changmin was tired, physically, emotionally and mentally so, so he made way to the bed, choosing to ignore Yunho as he crawled under the covers.

"What's up?" Changmin asked, voice whisper soft. Although he was tired, his head already on the pillow and blankets already wrapped comfortably around him, he felt no mood for sleep.

"You tell me," Yunho answered, his tone mild and noticeably kind, turning to face him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Changmin answered in a dead pan.

He was beginning to shut himself off again, and if Yunho wasn't careful, he'd lose the younger all over again.

"What's on your mind, Changdola?"

"Don't call me that," he answered, voice suddenly infinitely more tired than before. "I'm not your Bambi."

Yunho was silent for a moment, considering what was the best reply.

"You'll always be my Bambi," he answered softly, "No matter what."

"I don't need to hear that!" Changmin suddenly snapped, throwing the blanket over his head.

"Changdola..." Yunho called softly, a hand on the hip of the hidden body.

"I said don't CALL ME THAT!" Changmin threw the covers off him violently, looking at Yunho with all the fire in his eyes. "I refuse to depend on you, I refuse to hang on to you like a leech, I refuse to be a baby!"

There was a tense silence between the two, Yunho studying the younger with a pained expression on his face.

"Is that what this is all about? Your mood the past two days, your breakdown at the concert.... Everything? Because you somehow think that you're a liability to me?"

Changmin was silent, as he once more threw the covers over his head.

"Changmin..." Yunho called, coming closer to pull the covers from his head. Changmin's eyes were wet and shining with tears, but they were still stubbornly fierce as he looked up at Yunho, almost as if he was daring the elder to question his tears.

"You're so silly," Yunho scolded lightly, "Why would I ever think that you're any less than the almighty Shim Changmin you proudly display yourself as? You've always been strong, you've always been mature and although I admit sometimes I see you as my baby, but that's only because you're my Maknae and I've always cared for you. You debuted when you were barely a teen and I always took it upon myself to look out for you. You're my pride and joy and I've seen you mature throughout the years and I couldn't be more proud."

Yunho had poured his heart out to the younger, radiating sincerity so tangible it seemed to come out in waves. But still, young Changmin, bless his young soul, looked up at him adamantly, not even fidgeting an inch when a tear escaped his eye, rolling down the side of his face.

"You're lying," he answered, voice adamant. "You're only saying that because you're Jung Yunho, who'd break his back to make others happy and I'm not falling for that."

Yunho sighed, close to giving up because Changmin's adamant nature was known to move mountains.

"Okay," Yunho answered, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed, facing Changmin. "Tell me the instances when I've ever made you feel like I see you any lesser than you are."

"When you stay up late to wait for me to come home, even when you're tired and you're old and I know you need more sleep than me." Yunho winced slightly at the choice of words. He wasn't *that* old, right? "And when you have to spend extra time in the practice room because I'm too dumb to catch dance steps as quick as you or do them as gracefully as you do. And how they always make you talk more during interviews even though I have a mouth too! And how *everyone* just sees me as a child because you're older!!"

Changmin was simply babbling now, a habit he did when he wanted to curb someone off topic, and Yunho was aware of that. Changmin let his tears run free down his face, too proud to even acknowledge them. His pout was ferocious, his lower lip jutting out almost comically from below his philtrum.

Yunho stared at him, waiting for the tirade of words to end before Changmin was leveling his childishly angry gaze with him once more.

"Is that it?" he asked gently, prompting him once more, knowing the younger had more to say.

Changmin nodded stubbornly, his face red with the effort of holding back a sob.

"Are you sure?"

Changmin's lower lip quivered at the question and he resorted to biting it, making him look even more ridiculously childlike. Yunho was finding it very hard to meet with his demand of being treated like an adult, because his behaviour right now would've been comparable only to an angry ten year old.

A few stubborn tears escaped his eyes, collecting against his pillow.

"I'm tired," he squeaked, his voice off-tune at the effort of restraining his sobs.

Yunho waited for him to continue, before realising that the stubborn Maknae would need prompting again.

"What are you tired of?"

"I'm tired of acting mature. I'm tired of thinking I'm a liability even though you tell me I'm not. I'm tired of thinking you're lying to protect me because I know you'd do that. I'm tired of acting like I don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders because I freaking *do*. I'm tired of having constantly childish thoughts. I'm tired of acting mature, but I don't want to be a burden to you because you're already hurting from the loss of Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu even when you say you don't miss them because I *know you do*! I miss them so much but I can't do anything about it and it makes me so frustrated and I'm scared if I constantly act like a Maknae it'll only be a bigger burden to you because I already am!!"

Changmin panted, face red from the tirade of words. The tears had accumulated, but he was still resisting the urge to sob, still fighting to control himself.

"I'm sorry," Yunho answered, moving to wipe at Changmin's tears with his thumb. "I'm sorry you had to think that being mature wasn't an option. I'm sorry you always think that you're a burden, even though I know you're not. I'm sorry you miss the other three so much, because I can't do anything about it. And most of all I'm sorry you're so tired and constantly have to push yourself to your limit. I'm sorry, Changmin ah. If I could fix everything, I would. I could try, but I don't know if I can. You know I love you. I'd bring you the world if that meant you'd be happy and I'm sorry for causing you such hurt instead."

And that was it. That was the final blow to Changmin's already crumbling dam of tears as he broke into a loud sob, the tears free falling this time, his sobs loud and anguished in the silence of the night.

Yunho grabbed him, pulling him to his chest as he wraps the younger tightly in his hug.

"You'll always be my Maknae," Yunho soothed into his ear, "You don't have to pretend around me, you know? You can still baby up to me, and you can still talk to me man to man and I'd still love you either way."

He feels Changmin nod in his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around Yunho's waist.

"And you can always talk to me if you have any problem. I'll always be there to lend you a listening ear. I'll always make time for you, Changmin ah. I may not be the best cook, the best talker or even the best playmate, but I promise to at least try. You'll always be my world, Changmin ah. Don't forget that."

Changmin had fallen asleep in Yunho's arms not long after, the exhaustion from the concert finally getting to him. Yunho feels tempted to squirm out of his hold, because really, his liver is being crushed by the anaconda arms, but he lets it be.

Changmin has had a very long night, and he deserves all the rest he needs.

Yunho wakes up to a very, *very* sore neck, having fallen asleep in a sitting position, his head hanging limply on his shoulder. Changmin however, wakes up incredibly chipper, his confidence back on an all-time high, and it makes Yunho forget about his pain when he sees Changmin back to normal.

He is back to his sarcastic and conceited self, much to the relief of their manager.

It is at the checkpoint when the two are waiting for Changmin to pass through does the manager finally get to speak to Yunho in private.

"What did you do?" he asks Yunho, "Changmin's radiating more cockiness than Kyuhyun!"

Yunho laughs at the comparison. The two Maknaes are best friends after all.

"Nothing really. Changmin just needed... A little boost in his self-esteem?"

"A boost in his self-esteem? You mean you made his ego larger than it already is?"

Yunho can only grin, their conversation cut short when Changmin comes towards them.

"Could you two get a move on? I've seen grandmothers move faster than you two."

"Oooh," their manager provokes, "the little baby's back on track, I see."

"Who you calling baby, shorty?"

"What did you call me?"

Changmin only cackles as he runs off down the runway, manager hyung chasing him from behind. Yunho smiles at the antics. Their manager is older than both Yunho and Changmin, but carries off the vibe of a teenager almost perfectly. That is exactly what makes him so easy for Changmin to connect with. They are children at heart and sometimes Yunho feels like he's taking care of two babies instead of one.

His mind suddenly drifts off to yesterday. Having Changmin in his arms felt almost surreal, like a dream. It was exactly that person that Yunho loathed to see mature so quickly. The inner child of Changmin that he tried very hard to hide and only ever showed in the rarest of occasions.

Yunho knows that that inner child popping up yesterday had been a bad sign. It showed Changmin cracking under all the stress and pressure and at that moment, he wanted nothing more than that inner child to get the hell away from him and have the strong, precocious and cocky Changmin back.

But Changmin was strong again. He had regained his confidence from Yunho's words and promises and now the conceited Changmin was back, with an ego as large as ever.

Yunho wouldn't want to admit it, but he would miss the child, the hidden side of Changmin who needed him, who was attached to him and depended on him. He would miss that child who he could hug and hold and make the best of promises to, because in all honesty, seeing Changmin grow up so quickly had made him feel an irrational loss, almost like a parent seeing their child grow up and head to college.

But if having that child gone meant that Changmin was happier, healthier and back to normal, then he'd be fine with that.

Because Changmin's happiness was his happiness.

Though really, Yunho didn't have to miss that inner child so long, because although it was hidden, it was constantly there.

Yunho knows this by how later, on the plane, Changmin lifts the armrest separating them to lean against the elder's arm, his blanket wrapped around him. It makes Yunho feel wanted again, and it makes him warm on the insides to know that no matter what, Changmin would still be his baby.

"I'm going to sleep," he hears the younger grumble, "Move and I'll kill you."

He chuckles lightly at the younger's use of words, running his hand through Changmin's hair as he kisses the top of his head lightly.

"Good night then, Changdola."

He hears a soft laugh coming from Changmin and he knows the younger is smiling when he replies, "Good night, old man."

"Not that old," Yunho whispers, lips close to Changmin's ears.

Changmin only replies with a nudge to Yunho's ribcage, making the elder man laugh aloud. A few heads turn in their direction, curious at the sudden loud laughter, but only shake their heads with a smile and look away, because it is only the TVXQ duo.

It is only the inseparable Changmin and Yunho, who'd cross seas to be there for each other.

============================

A failed one-shot that turned out amazingly long (my mind wanders very far...) and hence had to be split into three

I don't even know, guys. I don't even....