Don't expect. Semi-betaed. Ridiculously long.

---

 

I

“Just When The Snow Starts To Fall”

 

Kai spent the first snowfall like it was the last...

 

 

Ten years ago, 31^st of December, 23:43:00

With her back facing him, all he could smell was her scent, concocted honeydew with slight tinge of vanilla (probably, the scoop of ice cream that accidentally stained her shirt). His sense was intoxicated by her to the point where his vision was almost blurry. It was probably the result of their closeness or just because there were hardly any air that could survive all of them.

Kai reached for Seyoon’s shoulder as he tried to hug her from the back when a small noise snapped him from his daydream. He almost forgot that they’re not the only ones inside.

“Yah Luhan, your is almost kissing my face. Move!” Chanyeol hissed but his voice sounded more like a shrieking dolphin with a deep voice.

“As if there’s a lot of space in here,” Luhan said as he rolled his eyes. “I really don’t understand why we are stuck in here,” he whined.

Suho approached Seyoon as he wrapped his scarf on her.

“I’m fine, oppa,” Seyoon said, sharing the scarf to her brother. Shortly after, Kris squeezed his way to join the siblings.

“Ah! Don’t squeeze me in here. I can’t breathe!” Baekhyun complaint when Kai squeezed his way beside Luhan, Xiumin, and Lay. Chanyeol was pushed further at the back.

“Hey, have you told her yet?” Luhan carefully whispered to Kai. The other swayed his head, his shoulders sloping in defeat.

“Everything is a disaster.”

“But she’s going back to New York tomorrow,” Lay added.

“This is like the love confession all over again,” Kyungsoo pointed out.

 “Then maybe, now is the right time to say it to her,” said Sehun.

“Seriously, now? Right here, inside Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s dirty room?”

“Hey, we clean!”

“When?” Kyungsoo asked, one eyebrow raising.

“Once in a while…” the two mumbled.

“And in the midst of being snowbound, you want me to confess?” Kai continued.

All of the boys looked at each other then at Kai. “Why not?” they all said in unison.

Kai didn’t want to lose Seyoon, not in the future, not forever. They were already separated for a long time. Kai knew he had to do it now for the calmness of his mind and the calmness of thinking that he would have a secured future with Seyoon. Kai was on his third year in the university when he made one of the biggest decisions in his life…

But, why were they stuck in this situation in the first place?

 

Ten years ago, 12^th of December

“So, how do you plan to tell her?” Kyungsoo was the first to ask among his friends that one night when they were only the two of them left on the dorm. Kyungsoo asked for a company because Baekhyun and Chanyeol decided to have a sleepover at their next door neighbors (a.k.a Luhan, Lay, and Xiumin).

It was not surprising anymore that Kyungsoo was the one first one to ask especially when Kai knew how much of a planner Kyungsoo was. Everything for him was planned a few months in advance. And if there was someone whom Seyoon spoke the most about her everyday life in New York and anything in general, it was Kyungsoo.

“I’m not thinking about it yet.” Kai wished he was never truthful when he said that because he could just see in the corner of his eyes how Kyungsoo’s eyes widened with a hint of displeasure. But instead of earning a smack from the boy (Kyungsoo still looked like a boy despite the three years they were in the university), he just a heard a sigh from him.

“I guess it’s really hard to plan this whole thing out but you should at least already have a plan by now. Has she already told you that she’s going back here for the New Year?”

“What?” Just by looking at Kai’s expression, Kyungsoo could see the surprise in his eyes; even his semi-distorted face was showing that it he didn’t really know anything.

“Are you calling Seyoon?” Kyungsoo asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Or are you forgetting to call her? Because Kai I swear that if you try to hurt Seyoon, you know what I’m capable to do to you and—”

“Hey, calm down. Maybe she is trying to surprise me? She hasn’t said a thing and I just called her yesterday.”

“What?” Kyungsoo eyes widened as if he was there was an internal panic happening inside his head. “Oh no, oh no,” he mumbled. “Did I just ruin Seyoon’s surprise? Did I just ruin it?!” He stood up and looked at Kai with wide opened eyes.

“Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, relax—I’m just assuming things. Maybe she just forgot to say it to me. It’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Of course, it’s something to be worried about. Since you already know that she’s going back here, you should properly prepare for your confession. She’ll be here in five days. You should be ready by then.” Kyungsoo held Kai’s shoulder as the boy shook him back and forth. He almost felt dizzy.

“I know,” Kai held Kyungsoo’s arms to stop him.

“What should we do? What should we do?” Kyungsoo kept walking back and forth into the kitchen while Kai just decided to sit down. “Ah!”

Kai almost fell on the chair before he could even sit down. “Don’t surprise me like that. What is it?”

“I just thought of something.” Kyungsoo’s lips turned into his infamous heart-shaped smile but his eyes were still as wide as they were. Kai always wondered why his wide-eyed always looked creepy when they smile (say for example, Luhan).

“What?”

“How about a romantic dinner?”

“What? Pft!” Kyungsoo glared at Kai when he heard the other protested. “Then what? I’ll be the one who’ll cook? No way!”

“Why? Seyoon loves to cook. I’m sure she’ll appreciate if once in her life someone will cook for her. You’ll do that for her, right? Right?” Kyungsoo’s wide eyes transformed into sparkling pleading eyes.

“I—I’ll think about it later.”

“Don’t think later. Decide now!”

 

Ten years ago, 31^st of December, 016:45:43

“Carrots, spam, eggs, ramyun soup base…” Kai searched the grocery bag while Luhan and Xiumin waited in the corner, smiles plastered on their faces. “Shoot!”

“What?” Xiumin asked curiously.

“Where’s the gochujang, the pasta, the tomato sauce, the basil, saffron, and—” Kai ripped open the other grocery bag and let all the other ingredients fall at the top of the counter. “Where are ingredients I wrote on the list I gave you?!?” He frantically asked.

Luhan and Xiumin looked at each other. “You gave a list?” Xiumin asked innocently. Both he and Kai looked at Luhan.

“Luhan, where’s the list?” Kai asked.

“There’s a list?” Luhan asked, acting a little innocent with his eyes twinkling wide which Kai almost wanted to rake out with his hands. If only he has claws… “Sorry, I lost it,” he admitted.

“After all the hellish training I’ve been through with Kyungsoo, now it’s all ruined!”

“Hey, shouldn’t you have the ingredients here at least? Sehun is rich,” said Xiumin.

Kai looked at him with a blank expression. “We don’t cook here.” It was true anyway because having Sehun as a housemate was the best thing that even the food comes in for free. The two sighed in exasperation.

“Aish! Put back the ingredients inside the bag,” Luhan commanded.

“Why?” the two other asked.

“We need an expert’s help…”

---

Even if it was still two floors away, the three could already hear the loud beat of the drums as well as the strum of the guitar.

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun was the first one to notice them. He was standing behind the electric keyboard. In front of him was Sehun holding the bass and Lay with an electric guitar. Chanyeol was behind fixing his drumset, putting everything into place. Now, they really looked like a band.

“Shouldn’t you be preparing for the dinner now?”

 

Ten years ago, 13^th of December

“How are you?” Xiumin asked him one time when he was brought to their apartment instead of going to Kyungsoo’s. Kai used the opportunity of Kyungsoo being mad at him to sneak away from the boy when he accidentally burnt the lasagna.

“Are you okay now?” Lay added, putting a hand on Kai’s shoulder.

“I think I am fine.”

Xiumin and Lay nodded. Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Luhan soon entered the apartment, joining them.

“Good because I thought Kyungsoo would burn you down,” said Xiumin. “But he seemed okay now. He just needs to cool down.

“Right. We’re used to it anyway,” said Baekhyun.

“What are you used to?” Kai asked.

“I mean, it’s not new to see Kyungsoo getting mad. Just think of the troubles Chanyeol and Luhan bring him every day. I think they’re worse than you,” said Lay while Xiumin went to the counter to grab three cups.

“Hey! What are you saying?” Chanyeol defended with a pout which Baekhyun just replied by throwing a pillow straight to his face.

“Every time you and Luhan think of something to do, it always ended up as a disaster and I always have to face Kyungsoo’s angry mood when I get home,” Baekhyun explained.

“Want some coffee?” Xiumin asked in a calm mood. The rest of the boys took their seat on the dining table.

“Oh, are you practicing now?” Luhan asked, looking at Xiumin with an excited expression.

“What?” Kai confusedly ask. “What are you practicing?”

“Well, Xiumin and I just got a part-time job in a coffee shop near the Han River. It’s a new café but it’s quite famous to young adults.”

Xiumin nodded as he started to make the coffee skillfully just like a real barista. “It’s a nice place, Kai. You should visit sometime. Maybe bring Seyoon along with you.”

“Speaking of Seyoon, have you talked to her?” Lay asked.

“Yeah, a week ago.”

“What’s your plan then?” Xiumin asked as he placed down the cups on the table before he sat down on the sit in between Luhan and Lay. All the boys looked at Kai with a worried expression.

“Are you planning to tell her once she gets here?” Baekhyun asked.

“I think that’s the right time to confess to her but I don’t really know how. I mean, I thought I already had a plan that’s why Kyungsoo was teaching me how to cook lately.” Kai continually stirred his coffee.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Baekhyun interrupted. “Is that it? You’ll just say it to her after a dinner?”

“Why? Is there a better way?” Lay asked. Now, it sounded more like a competition of better ideas.

“It’s not that it’s not a good idea but are you just going to tell her as it is? Aren’t you going to have at least a performance before?”

“Like what? Let Kai dance?” Chanyeol sarcastically joked but Baekhyun gave him a glare.

“Idiot. What I’m asking you is for you to sing a song.”

Kai’s jaw dropped as he looked at Baekhyun. “Me, singing? That’s a no, no. I don’t want to sing. Why would I do that? No,” Kai swayed his head furiously.

“Pft. I will not try to convince you but it would be good if you at least dedicate something to her.”

“Dedicate? Dedicate…” Kai mumbled.

“Ah!” said Chanyeol with his deep loud voice. “How about if Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and I will sing for you? We’re in a band when we were in high school, remember?”

“And then maybe, Xiumin, Lay, and I will make a special fireworks display for you,” Luhan suggested.

Kai wanted to laugh at that time. Everyone looked so happy, yet, they weren’t aware of the disasters to come.

 

Ten years ago, 17^th of December

“Hey, that’s not how you do it!”Chanyeol ordered with a loud voice. “It’s pum-pum-pa-pa, not pa-pum-pa-pum.”

“Pum-pum-pa-pa? But pa-pum-pa-pum is better,” said Baekhyun.

“Guys, why am I holding the bass guitar? I don’t even know how to use it,” said Luhan.

“We don’t have someone who will play it so we have no choice,” Kyungsoo clarified. “Hey Kai, don’t just sit there. Cook ramyeon for us. That’s your training for today. I don’t want an ordinary one. Spice it up,” Kyungsoo shouted when he saw Kai playing with his phone on the sofa.

Kai stomped while mumbling something as he went to the kitchen as Xiumin came out with glasses of tea. “Hey, something to warm up your throats. I make this tea for all of—”

“No, your beat is wrong. Strum softly with your hands. The guitar sounds stiff,” Chanyeol ordered again. Baekhyun’s eyes furrowed deeper.

“Maybe it’s because it’s out of tune. Besides, I don’t play guitar,” Baekhyun complaint.

“No complains. We’re out of people. And it’s not my guitar that is out of tune. Maybe it’s your fingers that are too short to pluck.”

“What?!?” Baekhyun was already turning red. He stood up to go to Chanyeol’s place behind the drum set and grabbed his collar. “You didn’t just—”

“Ahh! The potholder caught fire!” Kai shouted from the kitchen. Luhan, Kyungsoo and Xiumin went after him as Baekhyun and Chanyeol ran to their room to get the fire extinguisher (one of the many they’d stored in case their apartment would be caught on fire again because of Kai).

---

Sehun, Lay, and Seyoon stood by the door of the apartment with their mouths gaping at the scene before them. There was Kai, Kyungsoo, and Xiumin sitting at the table with two burnt pots in the middle. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were standing near the gas range, looked totally exhausted. The remnants of the burnt potholder were lying on the floor.

“So, we fetch Seyoon from the airport and this is what we will witness,” said Sehun, entering the apartment together with Lay and Seyoon.

“What is this? Did Kai mess up what he was cooking agai—” Luhan cupped Lay’s face before he could say a thing.

“Again? Why? Are you learning how to cook?” Seyoon asked Kai with a beaming face. But, instead of answering, Kai found himself again in dreamland. With Seyoon standing in front of her, it almost felt like it was too real to be true. He could smell the faint scent of lavender coming from her hair. Her look never changed at all. Her presence could still make him iced up. But his frozen body stuck in a daydream shattered when warm hands hold his. “What are you trying to make anyway?”

“Ra—ramyeon…”

“Ram…yeon?” Sehun asked with a little mocking tone. Kai glared at him but he was more embarrassed in front of Seyoon. Maybe Seyoon would think low of him knowing that he couldn’t even cook a simple food as ramyeon. Maybe Seyoon would never think of him as the suitable husband material.

Husband material? Kai thought. He swayed his head. What am I thinking?

“Do you want to try it again? This time, I’ll help you,” Seyoon smiled to Kai, something that he missed seeing after being away with her for almost a year. The last time they had seen each other was during the time he confessed to her. This time, there would be another confession that he had to say.

---

Kai watched as Seyoon moved around the kitchen. If Kai could dance gracefully on the dance floor, Seyoon was more like a ballerina in the kitchen. She moved in swift motion, tasting here, adding ingredients there while he was stuck on the counter to chop some vegetables. That was the only work that Seyoon trusted him. But he was more than happy to see both of them working together. They’re more like a couple now.

He was smiling alone in the counter when two heads popped up near Seyoon. His joy turned into an irritated frown.

“Seyoon, can you add spam on the ramyeon. I like it when they’re added,” Luhan said with his cat-like pleading eyes.

“And please add eggs. I love ramyeon with eggs,” Chanyeol said on the other side.

“Alright. That’s no problem,” she replied with smile, patting the two’s head before she headed to the fridge to grab what they requested.

Kai didn’t know why but his inflated irritation turned into a deflated calmness, like something pinched his heart with the sight in front of him. Suddenly, she envisioned Seyoon wearing an apron, still looking beautiful (even more beautiful in Kai’s eyes). Then, Chanyeol and Luhan turned into images of children playing around in the kitchen as Seyoon smiled at them. Kai could even hear the children’s voice saying, “Eomma!” And then, the kids approached him and, “App—”

“Yah, I already told you it’s pum-pum-pa-pa,” Chanyeol’s voice interrupted him…again.

“But it’s better if it’s pa-pum-pa-pum,” Baekhyun insisted.

“Aish!”

“Are you fighting?” Seyoon asked gently.

“No, we’re not!” The two swayed their heads.

Seyoon looked at Baekhyun with his guitar. He looked at Luhan who was strumming the bass guitar clumsily. “Oh, are you playing in a band again?” she smiled. The boys looked at each other.

“It’s…”

“It’s for…for my brother’s wedding!” Baekhyun shouted.

“You’re brother is going to get married? That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, it is if only Baekhyun could play the guitar,” Chanyeol mumbled.

“What?!” Baekhyun held his collar again.

“Ah, I’m done with this,” Luhan groaned as he put down the bass guitar and plopping into the couch, face buried on the pillow.

“Ahh, our band is over. Our surprise for Se—” Kyungsoo stopped when he felt multiple eyes glaring at him.

“—For Baekhyun’s brother will not come true anymore!” Xiumin whined to steal Seyoon’s attention. It worked somehow and Kai gave him thumbs up.

“Don’t fight and don’t lose hope. I guess Baekhyun is just not on his right place. He works best as a vocal. Ahh, how about Lay plays the guitar? He can play it well, right?” She gave Lay a smile.

Lay stole a glance at Kai before nodding. “Yeah…Okay, I’ll be the guitarist.”

“And, how about Sehun plays the bass guitar? I’ve seen him played it before when we went to his house. You can do it, right?”

Sehun greeted them with a blank face before saying with a straight face, “Sure.”

“Okay. I hope you’re brother will like what you’ll play for them. But I’m sure it’s the fact that you prepared this especially for him is what’s more important. Good luck!”

Kai felt light-headed again. His weird visions returned to him again. Suddenly, he could see Seyoon calming two kids, like she was reconciling them the way she stopped Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s fight. Her smile was naturally lenient that the kids listened to her right away. Kai’s visions were like puzzles being put together. There’s just one meaning to them, right?

 

Ten years ago, 31^st of December, 017:00:05

“Yah, shouldn’t you be preparing for the dinner now?” Baekhyun asked.

“Kai!” Chanyeol chirped from behind with a wide smile as he waved his drumsticks. The rest of group stopped what they were doing and looked to the direction of the door.

“Well, I am supposed to do it but someone bought the wrong ingredients.”

“It’s not my fault,” Xiumin quickly defended himself. “It’s his,” he said, pointing at Luhan.

“What? No! Actually, if there’s someone who’s at fault here, it would be Lay.”

Lay lifted his head innocently and stare to the people in the room. “What about me?”

“Stop pointing your fault to other people, Luhan. So, what are planning to do then?” Sehun asked.

“Where’s Kyungsoo? I need his help.”

“He’s not here. He said he’ll drop by at Seyoon’s house to help her with something we don’t know about.”

“What? Then, it’s over,” Kai said in defeat. “How can I cook the special dinner for me and Se—”

Kai was cut off when someone burst the door open.

“I hope yours work—Oh, I never thought you’re all here.”

All held their breath when they saw Seyoon entering the apartment. Kyungsoo followed after him, but his eyes instantly widened when he saw Kai inside when the boy was supposed to be in his shared apartment with Sehun preparing the special dinner he thought him how to do. His eyes furrowed and mouthed to Kai, “What are you doing here?” voicelessly while Seyoon wasn’t facing him.

Kai clasped his hands apologetically and pointed at Luhan. Luhan instantly swayed his head and pointed at Xiumin.

“It’s not my fault. It’s all Luhan’s fault. I didn’t do anything.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Baekhyun said, pushing Seyoon and Kyungsoo outside the apartment as he closed the door. “I’m really sorry but our band is currently distressed right now because Luhan…has problems and—What are you doing here anyway?”

“Well, Kai said that we will all have dinner tonight so I decided to bake cupcakes with Kyungsoo but our oven isn’t working so we go here. I thought of borrowing your oven for a while.”

Wait. ‘…we will all have dinner…” Kyungsoo and Baekhyun looked at each other.

Does she think it is a dinner for all of us? This is bad.

---

“What does she say? Why are they here? Did she find out about our plan? What?” Kai bombarded Baekhyun with questions the moment he entered the apartment but he was more surprised when Baekhyun approached him and shook his shoulder.

“What did you say to Seyoon? Did you make it clear that the dinner is only for the two of you?”

“Huh?” Kai thought for a while. “I said to her that we will have a yearend get-together with friends so she won’t suspect anything.”

“What?!”

“Why?”

“Do you know that she’s here to borrow our oven to make dozens of cupcakes because she thought the dinner includes all of us? Now, we can’t practice our song because she’s here and it will be too late if we’ll find another place to practice.”

“Just sing the song,” said Luhan. “She won’t know it’s for her anyway.”

“Then it wouldn’t be called a surprise anymore because she will already know,” said Xiumin.

---

“You can use our oven.”

“Thanks. But, is your band really fine?”

Baekhyun smiled awkwardly. “Yeah, yeah. It’s fine. I’m sure my brother will like it.”

“That’s good.”

When Seyoon entered the kitchen, Kyungsoo took it as a chance to talk to Kai.

“What are you doing here? The dinner should be ready in an hour. Shouldn’t you be preparing for it now?”

“I can’t make it.”

“What?” Kyungsoo said a little loud which made Seyoon turned her head to their direction. Kyungsoo just smiled at her before turning back to Kai to give him a glare. “What do you mean you can’t do it? I teach you how to cook it several times. Where are all the things I taught you?”

“Relax. It’s not because I forget everything why I couldn’t cook, okay? I just don’t have the ingredients needed.”

“You what?! But I gave you the list, right?”

“Yeah and I gave it to Luhan so he could buy it for me while I prepare some other things. Turns out, he lost the list and just bought random stuff from the grocery.”

“What are going to do now? The grocery stores are closing now before the New Year. There’s no way you can still buy what you need.”

“Hey, are these ingredients for the dinner later? These are all ramyeon—”

Kai and Kyungsoo could feel the tense when Seyoon rummaged inside the forgotten grocery bags on the counter. Kai could feel small drops of sweat slowly travelling down his forehead even though the temperature was as cold as ice.

She probably thinks I didn’t prepare for the dinner. She’ll think I’m a cheap and penny-pinching. She will never like me. I am not the perfect husband materi—What am I thinking?

“Are we having a ramyeon party?”

“Yes~!” Luhan captured Seyoon’s hands with his. “You guessed it right. And guess what?”

“What?”

“Kai will cook it for us!”

 

18:13:12

It was already six in the evening but Kai was still stuck in the kitchen, preparing their what-so-called ramyeon party food. Even though Kyungsoo would help him once in a while, he could still feel the tension especially when Seyoon wasn’t far behind. He could feel her watching his every move like she was judging him.

“Wow, you can slice the vegetables nicer now than before,” Seyoon said as she examined the vegetables chopped by Kai. If she only knew he was praying every second for him not to cut his fingers…

“Thanks…”

“Do you want me to help you? I think it’s easier to dice the carrots if you cut the like this…” Seyoon went beside Kai unknowingly too close. Her hands accidentally touched Kai’s when she grabbed the knife from him. He felt shiver ran down his spine with the close contact.

Her hands were skilled to hold the knife, Kai thought as she watched her do the job. He just could imagine Seyoon making food for him in the morning, at noon, and even at night. He could just envision himself eating every meal she would prepare for him and would never get fed up of it. He could just see himself eating with her, smiling, laughing, talking about everything, and would never get tired of it.

“Do you get it?” Seyoon asked, giving the knife back to Kai.

“Ahh…” Unfortunately, Kai was absent-minded to hear what Seyoon was saying. Her eyes fixed on her lips. It wouldn’t be bad to steal just one ki—

“Hey, hey, hey. Look who we have here!”

Kai lifted his head when he heard that familiar voice coming from the kitchen door.

“What are you cooking?” Giant hand found their way on his shoulder. And that familiar gummy smile…

“Kris-hyung?”

“Yes? Did you miss me, Jongin-ah?” Kris smirked. “I know you’re happy to see me,” he said, giving Kai’s nose a pinch.

“Stop it!” Kai protested.

“What are you cooking here?” another familiar voice entered the kitchen.

“Oppa, why are you here?”

“Kris and I are supposed to go to Gyeonggido but there was a heavy snowfall outside. We’re on our way home when I remembered that you have a yearend party here. I hope you don’t mind adding the two of us. We bring ice cream anyway.”

“Ice cream for the cold weather?” Kai asked rather loudly which earned a glare from Suho.”Sorry…”

“It’s just a yearend dinner not a party, oppa.”

“It’s okay, Seyoon. Kris-hyung and Suho-hyung are always welcome,” Kai smiled nervously.

“Good. I’ll just put these ice cream tubs inside the fridge and we’ll help you cook,” said Suho.

This would be a long night, Kai thought.

 

19:02:12

It took almost an hour before Kai and the others finished preparing the ingredients. The dinner was supposed to be only for two but since he had to cover his plan with a not-so-good lie, he had two prepare food for eleven people.

“Start boiling the water so we can make the ramyeon soup.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

But it didn’t mean that preparing food wouldn’t be fun especially when Seyoon was around. Kai put the pot on the electric stove. The ingredients were all prepared on the side. He just needed to turn on the fire…with just one flick…but…

“Ahh!!!!” someone suddenly shout from the living room. Even Seyoon and Kai were frozen in their place.

“There’s a power outage!” They could hear Chanyeol’s loud voice boomed inside the whole apartment.

No…

 

Ten years ago, 17^th of December

After spending time with their friends, Kai decided that it should be about time to be Seyoon alone. So, they decided to go to their main house together. It’s been a while since they had seen their families anyway. After all, she just landed to Korea a few hours ago. And with the times they were apart, he could already feel the built longing inside of him ready to burst. He just wanted to hold Seyoon right there and then. Unfortunately, because of nervousness, he could feel his hands getting all clammy. On top of that was the cold weather, making his hands felt frozen especially when he wasn’t wearing any gloves. It would be a great idea to hold Seyoon with those hands, wouldn’t it? But then again, she was wearing gloves so she won’t feel it. He was about to reach her hands when Seyoon started to talk. His hands find their way inside his pockets again.

Almost.

“You seemed to be thinking a lot.”

Even hearing her voice without the distraction of choppy buffering internet connection could make his heart throb.

“No. I’m—I’m just happy that you’re here.”

“Me too.”

Even the way her eyelashes fluttered, her lips pursed, and the way she smiled – even the tiniest details of Seyoon’s movements, Kai couldn’t help but notice them all. It was like he was memorizing her every moves like a camera storing images inside his head, making sure they were there.

“I miss you, too. The truth is I want to hug you since earlier but all our friends are there.”

“What?” Kai asked, totally surprised of Seyoon’s bold statement. Had America taught her to be straightforward?

“Am I being too honest?” she sheepishly smiled. “I just miss you so—”

“Then hug me.”

“What?” It’s Seyoon’s turn to be surprised. Maybe, following what Kris said to her earlier – to be straightforward about her feelings to Kai (even if Suho was protesting to the side) – wasn’t a good idea. Even she, herself, found it embarrassing. Then, Kai wanted for her to hug him? In the middle of the night? On the street of Seoul? Even if there were only few people, it was still embarrassing. “Now?”

Kai nodded, opening his arms wide that was too embarrassing for Seyoon to see. Even the people walking on their way started looking at him.

“What are you doing? We’re outside.”

“So what? You said you want to hug. Then, hug me.” Kai said, closing his eyes once again and arms moving, inviting Seyoon for a hug.

Seyoon looked at Kai whose eyes were still closed then she looked left and right to see if there were onlookers passing by. But the streets were nearly empty except for the few cars passing by and two or three people doing their own errands. Then…

Kai just felt it. The way she s her hands on his waist and rest her head on the crook of his neck; the scent of her hair enthralling his sense; and the warmth he’s been longing for so long – Kai just wanted the time to freeze. He wanted to seize each passing seconds and possibly never to let go.

Enthralled by the moment, everything happened placidly like how his lips automatically planted a kiss on her forehead. And it was as if the world blessed the magical moment with the small white droplets from the sky, the first snow of winter falling on tips of their nose, melting unnoticed.

Kai didn’t mind the cold freezing his un-gloved hands nor the cold stares of some people passing by. Kai wouldn’t mind…as long as he’s with Seyoon. It’s fine. Perfectly fine.

 

Ten years ago, 31^st of December, 20:08:27

Nothing was fine. Everything was a failure.

The landlord of the apartment had already informed them that the power wouldn’t come back possibly until the next day because repairing would be impossible especially when there was a heavy snowfall. The streets were already blanketed with thick snow and it was impossible to get out and find another place to stay. In other words, Kai was stuck in a small apartment with nine boys, Seyoon, and a plan that most probably failed to initialize. All of his plans throughout the week went to waste.

“What can we do? This is life. Now, we’re stuck together until next year. Isn’t this great? Kris said cheerfully, putting his arms on Luhan’s and Chanyeol’s shoulder, bringing them closer. But of course, none of the boys could possible smile at the moment especially when they knew how important the day was for Kai. And it also painful to see all their efforts burnt into ashes just because of a power outage. Who would have thought everything would come into this place?

“What do we do now?” Kyungsoo asked, staring blankly into the floor but everyone knew his question was about their plan.

All the boys stared blankly on the floor when they heard a loud growl.

“Sorry,” Xiumin apologized shyly. “I’ve never eaten anything since this morning so…”

“I checked the cupcakes and—” Everyone looked on Seyoon’s direction. “They’re still half-baked,” she said sadly. Everyone let out a deep sigh.

“No ramyeon either because I can’t possibly open the electric stove without electricity of course,” said Kai.

A semi-romantic date with Seyoon – gone.

“No band music either. If there’s no electricity, the electric guitar, bass guitar, and electric keyboard won’t work,” Baekhyun sadly said, plopping on the sofa near Lay and Sehun.

A romantic music performance for Seyoon – gone.

“It’s…” Lay started speaking. Thick white wisp of cold air started to cloud his every breath. There was even a quivering sound coming from his voice. “…getting cold, isn’t it?”

Everyone could feel it too. The lack of heat coming from the heater or the lights would surely drop the temperature more. Couple it with a heavy snowfall, there’s no way they would be able to handle the freezing temperature.

“Guys, there is a rechargeable heater installed inside our room. It’s fully charged, enough for the whole nigh—” Before Baekhyun could even finish what he was about to say, everyone started to run to their bedroom. “Hey! Don’t touch anything!”

---

It was like a camping trip of some sort less the campfire and the melting marshmallows on sticks. Nonetheless, there was still rechargeable heater that Baekhyun was talking about. Each of them found their own spot inside the small crumpled space of Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s room. It was just unfortunate that instead of people, there were pile of clothes, books, and instruments on Chanyeol’s bed. Baekhyun’s space was full of books, too. They didn’t have a choice but to sit on the floor closer to each other to create more warmth.

Kai and Seyoon sat on the only unoccupied space on Baekhyun’s bed. Luhan snuggled closer to Kris. Chanyeol closely followed. Kris felt like he was taking care of two giant babies as his sons, but he didn’t mind because it’s getting warmer. Xiumin, Baekhyun, Lay, and Sehun scooted closer to each other near Chanyeol’s bed. And Kyungsoo and Suho found a large blanket to cover their bodies.

Now, what?

“Guys, want some ice cream?”

 

Ten years ago, 26^th of December

Kai entered the apartment followed by Sehun. They had been to four executive tiring days. First was their respective universities’ college parties, second was their close friends’ party, third was their family parties, and fourth was the band practice for Sehun and cooking lessons for Kai. It was not surprising to find themselves plopped on the couch, not wanting to move.

“Maybe, I shouldn’t just go with it,” Kai mumbled, staring at the ceiling with a blank expression.

“You know what? Sometimes, thinking too much won’t bring anything at all inside your head. All you have to do is not to overlook on things. Just like they said, ‘One should use common words to say uncommon things.’”

Kai frowned, grabbed the pillow beside him and threw it at Sehun. Sehun just coolly dodged it before looking at Kai with a blank expression. “Is this one your riddles again? I’m not in the mood to think right now.”

“You’re an idiot.” Sehun returned the pillow to Kai, hitting him square in the face before walking in front of his room door. He turned his head once again to look at Kai. “You know Seyoon better than anyone here. Having the dinner and the band is a romantic thing but sometimes the simplest things could cause greater effects,” he said before closing the door.

Kai didn’t have the chance to say anything. He just stared at Sehun’s door with a blank expression and a blank mind.

 

Ten years ago, 31^st of December, 23:50:00

With her back facing him, all he could smell was her scent, concocted honeydew with slight tinge of vanilla (probably, the scoop of ice cream that accidentally stained her shirt when Kai tried to give her a spoonful). His sense was intoxicated by her to the point where his vision was almost blurry. It was probably the result of their closeness or just because there were hardly any air that could survive all of them.

Kai reached for Seyoon’s shoulder as he tried to hug her from the back when a small noise snapped him from his daydream. He almost forgot that they’re not the only ones inside.

“Yah Luhan, your is almost kissing my face. Move!” Chanyeol hissed but his voice sounded more like a shrieking dolphin with a deep voice.

“As if there’s a lot of space in here,” Luhan said as he rolled his eyes. “I really don’t understand why we are stuck in here,” he whined.

Suho approached Seyoon as he wrapped his scarf on her.

“I’m fine, oppa,” Seyoon said, sharing the scarf to her brother. Shortly after, Kris squeezed found his way to join the siblings.

“Ah! Don’t squeeze me in here. I can’t breathe!” Baekhyun complaint when Kai squeezed his way beside Luhan, Xiumin, and Lay. Chanyeol was pushed further at the back.

“Hey, have you told her yet?” Luhan carefully whispered to Kai. The other swayed his head, his shoulders sloping in defeat.

“Everything is a disaster.”

“But she’s going back to New York tomorrow,” Lay added.

“This is like the love confession all over again,” Kyungsoo pointed out.

 “Then maybe, now is the right time to say it to her,” said Sehun.

“Seriously, now? Right here, inside Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s dirty room?”

“Hey, we clean!”

“When?” Kyungsoo asked, one eyebrow raising.

“Once in a while…” the two mumbled.

“And in the midst of being snowbound, you want me to confess?” Kai continued.

All of the boys looked at each other then at Kai. “Why not?” they all said in unison.

That was how Kai found himself and Seyoon inside Kyungsoo’s room, making an excuse that he needed to tell her something important. Of course, Suho was the only one who protested but eventually gave up with Kris’ persuasive skill. Besides, trusting his sister to Kai was one of the things he was trying to accomplish. Suho could feel it too – someday, there was someone who could protect Seyoon more than what he could sacrifice for her sister. He couldn’t imagine anyone else but Kai.

To start things wasn’t easy especially when Kai found himself stuck in a situation where his lips felt like they were glued and tongue stuck on a frozen pole. It was hard knowing that it was just the two of them now. It was nerve wracking knowing that there was something he wanted to tell her yet it felt like there were not enough words to perfectly express what was on his mind. He just didn’t know how to break the silence.

However, he was surprised when Seyoon interlocked her fingers with his.

“What are you thinking?”

“Hmm?”

“You seemed to be in a deep thought. Is there something wrong?”

Their gloved hands became warmer with the contact with Seyoon rubbing circles at the back of his hands as she gave him a warm smile. And even without her saying it with words, Kai knew what her actions meant. Everything is going to be alright. That’s what Kai felt every time she’s with her. Nothing could go wrong…

“Seyoon…” Kai said with a soft voice.

Seyoon hummed in reply, resting her head on Kai’s shoulders, their hands still interlocked. Kai looked at the window. There was only a faint light coming from the window of Kyungsoo’s room. Everything else was dark except for the place they were sitting at. He didn’t feel the wintry temperature anymore, just the warmth emitting in their bodies. The atmosphere was whispering to him to settle down and just stay as it. He didn’t want to ruin the mood too but he had no choice. He just had to say it to her, what he wanted to tell her for a long time.

“I am—”

---

Everyone’s hands were in front of the heater, trying to capture the heat as much as possible. Chanyeol’s fingers started to fiddle on the floor before he looked at Baekhyun with a serious expression.

“Have you already told your parents about it?”

Baekhyun nodded with a faint smile. “Yes. They already know it. How about you?”

Chanyeol nodded, too. “My mom cried but everything’s fine now.” Chanyeol felt Luhan’s hand rubbing his back. He looked at him with a thankful expression before turning his head to Sehun. “How about you, Sehun?”

“They’re fine. They have no choice anyway. I just have to hire someone to trust the restaurant with. I’m processing everything.”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol nodded then they all looked at Kyungsoo who have a sad expression.

“Kyungsoo?”

“I’m fine,” he said with a cracked voice and watery eyes. Xiumin and Lay went on Kyungsoo’s side to console him. “My mom is one the process of accepting it. She just couldn’t accept that his youngest son will be the first one to enter the military before my older brother but she’ll accept it soon.”

Kris and Suho looked at the boys with shocked expressions. “You are…entering the military?” Kris asked with wide eyes.

The four boys nodded.

“Even Kai…”

---

Seyoon lifted her head to look at Kai. Shock sprawled on her face that Kai almost wanted to take back what he had said. He pulled her closer, forehead touching the crook of his neck. He could feel her tremble, trying to muffle her soft whimpers.

“Sorry…” he whispered over and over while rubbing her back. “It’s just that I realized how much I don’t want to be separated from you a little longer. And I guess that serving the mandatory two years in the military while you’re in New York is like saving more time for ourselves in the future.”

Seyoon pulled herself away from him to look directly into his eyes. Kai took the opportunity to wipe her tears away.

“I always think about you. I always do and the possible things of what we may do in the future when you come back from New York. How we are going to spend each day together without letting time bore our feelings for each other. How I will make each day special for you so you won’t leave me with another man.”

Seyoon glared at him with a pout but Kai just smiled at her.

“I always think about the future years with you, closer with you, without the miles separating us. Hearing your voice clearly, here, right beside me. Sensing the fragrance that only reminds me of you. Knowing you’re just nearby holding my hands. I just don’t want to think of those days. I want it to happen, Seyoon.”

Kai could clearly see Seyoon’s glass orbs illuminated by the moon. His body moved fluidly closer to her.

“I just realized something when I am with you this whole winter vacation,” he said, lips forming a soft smile, eyes turning into beautiful crescents. Seyoon could see the delight embedded to those. “That it’s okay if we are separated.” His hands s down her waist, pulling her closer. “Because there’s you doing your best in your life outside, then, there’s me who will try my best to serve the country, and after two years, there will be the two of us together. Because the idea of knowing you’ll be there when I come back is enough to endure those two years of separation.” His head moved closer, their foreheads almost touching. “Because I have you, right?”

Seyoon just nodded, eyes locked on Kai.

“I love you,” he smiled. Seyoon tried to open to let the exact words escape her lips. But, it was too late when Kai’s lips touch hers. It was deep but gentle and soft like spending on a time refusing to move. Perhaps, there was no need to return Kai’s words with another set of words. She let the feeling transcend with their bond.

Maybe, two years of separation was definitely nothing because once they’d meet in the future, time would stop again – because he knew she’d be waiting and she knew he’d come back.

“Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year…”

---

“Ah, Seyoon?”

“Hm?”

“There's one more thing I realized during the winter break. I don't know if it's the right time to say it but I wanted to say it now. When I say that I’ll spend more days with you in the future, I really mean it.”

“I know…”

“What I meant is that you and I, you know, you and I…” Kai docked his head shyly, “and our kids,” he mumbled.

“Kids?”

“When I say future I really mean the distant future – you know, maybe ten to twenty years from now.”

“Are you implying that—”

“No,” Kai said firmly. “I am stating that you marry me when I come back from the service.”

There was a silence – an awkward, unprecedented silence. He already said it with the simplest words he could pull off just as what Sehun advised him to do but it seemed like the effects were really unpredictable.

“I mean – ah…” It was getting more awkward with each passing seconds.

“Why immediately after you come back from the service? I still have a lot of things I want to do. Can we do it when we’re near the age of thirty – like twenty-eight?” Seyoon asked innocently.

She just didn’t know how her words cut straight into Kai’s heart. Not that he was mad because Seyoon refused to marry him after his military service. He felt the opposite, knowing that Seyoon was willing to marry him in the future. He started counting with his fingers because his mental math was currently distracted by too much love thoughts. He was twenty-two right then so it meant that there were still five years to go before they get married. SIX YEARS! Five years and all his visions of having kids, Seyoon cooking food for him, spending a quality family time together, they were sure to come. Kai wanted to cry right there and then. Instead, he found himself kissing Seyoon multiple times all over her face.

“What are you doing?” she asked, giggling.

“Happy New Year to the two of—” Kai stopped when he heard a loud gasped coming from the door. “Get away from Seyoon!” Suho shouted, nostrils flaring with anger. Maybe, his New Year’s resolution of trusting Seyoon to Kai would be impossible to fulfill. Maybe it would never happen.

The next thing Kai felt was a something fluid dripping from his nose and fireworks flying around his scope of vision. But he would never forget to start the timer in his mind. “Six years…six years,” he mumbled before drifting into unconsciousness.

 

 

 

 

Three years later…

“Kai, where are you?!”

“I’m on my out of the dance studio.” Kai bowed on the lady before him before grabbing the bubble tea. A whole day at work would only be replenished with a cup of bubble tea and seeing Seyoon, of course. He held his phone closer to his ears. “Why?” he asked nonchalantly to the person on the other line.

“Are you an idiot? What are you still doing there?”

“I’ll meet Seyoon at seven. I still have to find flowers to give her.”

“Never mind that and go here immediately.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Seyoon…Seyoon is giving birth!” Chanyeol’s loud deep voice vibrated through Kai’s ears like arrows straightly aiming at him.

“That’s impossible…” He nearly dropped the cup. Seyoon’s due date would still be three weeks from now.

“Yah, Kim Jongin! If you don't come here by now, I'll make sure your marriage with my sister will never happen!”

 

 

“No!”

 

 

 

 

---

Author's note;

Sorry if it's not something you expect it be. I already have the outline for the three special chapters of the fic but I just don't have the time to write it. Blame it on the holiday. Blame it on my work. I'm really sorry guys. I'll try to write the other chapters when I have the sufficient time and inspiration. For now, Happy New Year!  I'll be willing to read your complains.