She stood up from the bed and looks around the room for the last time. The eyes unknowingly wanders to the wedding picture hung up nicely on the wall above the bed that they shared the best of the memories. Their wedding picture.

“I, Oh Sehun take Yoon Minji as my wedded wife to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.”

Sehun, you promised.

Minji is closed to tears but she held it back. Taking one last look at the wedding picture, she took her luggage with her and she puts the letter that she wrote last night after confirming her choice on the study table. Upon seeing a picture of them together, she closes the picture frame.

She had made a decision. She hopes it’s the best way for both parties. A tear rolls down her puffy cheeks as she walks over to the door.

She’d done this before. Threatening that she’ll leave but ending up coming back to him because she missed him. She would wait until he’s back from work. She would cook him his favorite food. She would say she’s sorry for leaving and promise that it will never happen again. Because boy, how much she loved him. He’s everything to her. And she would do anything to be by his side.

Those thing that she would do to make him love her again.

The first few years of being together with Oh Sehun feels like a dream. However, the dreamlike state slowly fades as she realizes that that trait of his, she so often overlooked soon became a dark cloud plaguing their relationship.

“Quit it, will you? You’re being immature!”

She’s tired.

She’s tired of being called immature.

She’s tired of being the one who had been holding onto their relationship.  

She’s tired of going back to the home that they used to share the greatest love before.

She’s tired of taking her time to pack her bags just only to hope he’s going to hold her back.

She’s tired of walking away from their house in disappointment that he didn’t even try getting her back.

I’m tired, Sehun. I am.

Does he still deserve the love she had been giving him?

Does he appreciate it as much as her?

Does he still love her?

“What is your problem? What’s wrong with you?”

All the pain that they went through. All the love that they’d shared. Where did it go? Where did they went?

Is it still right for her to wait? Is it still fine for him to remain as if nothing happens?

She knows it’s about time they stop running away. Running away from their problem.

“What’s my problem? My problem is on you.”

She knows what Sehun thinks about their relationship. She heard how he drunk-ly says about being tired of waiting when he came home drunk one day. She saw how he ignores her when a sensitive topic was brought up.

She knows him more than herself. She knows he’ll be ready to accept her again after a couple of days of ‘calming down’. She would wait. And wait until he’s ready to be with her again.

She loves him as much as he loves her.

But she also knows that no matter how much she loves him, they won’t be like they used to be.

She finally reached the door after struggling tears from falling. She kept herself together wanting to ask for the answer she had been dying to know.

“Oppa, do you keep true to your promise?”

Minji could already predict the answer that he would be giving her by the confused look of the sudden question yet confidence plastered on his facial.

“I do.”

He watched silently as she stepped out of the door with her luggage, mumbling some words that made his world stop before closing the door shut behind of her, leaving something important of hers. But taking the last piece of him, with her.

“Oh. Hope you could stick to your promise in the future. But…”

She had done this countless time. Even he couldn’t count it with all his fingers. Not coming home for days and when she does, they never shared another word. He doesn’t even bother asking for an explanation for leaving. And she didn’t even bother taking the time to explain.

Sehun sat there on the couch staring at the now closed door feeling as if his heart was broken into pieces. He was confused. What was she saying? He didn’t know what to do and what was right to do. A part of him wanted to chase after her but the other half wanted him to stay.

What would he tell her if he catch up with her?

Tell her that it’s okay, they’ll be fine like he used to?

Sehun can’t bring himself to say those meaningless words again. Not anymore.

He looks around the place, the house that they used to make the most memorable times of their life. The kitchen where he would watch her cooks and the living room where they could cuddle together watching movies. Although the person isn’t there with him, he could still feel her, her scent that tingles around him.

Did he miss her so fast already?

Sehun made his steps slow and soft towards the bedroom. A plat with ‘Sehun and Minji’s dreamland’ written on top was hanging at the door of the room. The door plat that they personally customized and make. He brought himself to tap on the plat, thinking about old times before proceeding into the room, turning the doorknob open.

Their bedroom was still the same since he last saw it. Sehun lifelessly laid himself on the bed and stares blankly at the ceiling.

Flashbacks of when they were still the happiest couple in Earth crosses his mind.

“Oppa! It tickles!”

Minji swirled under Sehun’s soft touches as the boy chuckles. Sehun stops and stares  into Minji’s brown obs. She stops turning around and smiles at the latter as he lower himself down for a kiss which Minji happily returns as she wraps her arms around his shoulder.

“Guess who am I?”

Minji would ask, covering the boy’s eyes who had been sitting in his seat for the past two hours trying to finish his paperworks. Sehun could easily know who is was as they were the only ones in the house. He chuckles when Minji pouted but turns to wrap his arms around her, kissing the girl’s temple.

All those sweet memories that would remain in his past, Sehun laid there and thought.

If you asked him if he still cares for Minji, his answer would be yes. And it always would be.

He did care for her.

But guessed, he was tired as well.

Tired of waiting for her to be back.

Tired of staring at her back as she packs her bag but he could do nothing about it.

Tired of watching her walks out of the house, leaving him.

Sehun is tired of debating whether to chase after her or give her some privacy alone. He’s not a man with many words but he knows that every girl need their own time alone and he let her have hers. Was it wrong?

“Quit it, will you? You’re being immature!”

He didn’t know what made him say that out of the blue but he believes that he had wanted to let it out some time ago.

He knows her more than anyone in the world. He knows each and every bit of her. He loved her. But guessed he did it the indirect way that brought misunderstanding.

“Nothing is going to be wrong, Minji. I’m here.”

Sehun remembers all the sweet talks that he had been saying for the past year when she was home crying her eyes out as words of regrets left her cherry like lips. 

He knew her too well… Too well for his own good.

Why did he hold on to her this long? Why did he even bother saying comfort lines when he knew he didn’t mean it? Why did he even care if she’s home?

All the questions that he asked himself, was remain unanswered.

Many of his friends have been telling him how much a fool he is for letting her do these things to him. For letting himself be weak and hopeless without her. But they never knew why he never complained.

Oh Sehun was afraid. He’s too afraid of losing her. He’s afraid for notable to wake up to see her angel-like face, hear her voice calling for his name, and tells her how much he loves her everyday like he used to.

“What’s my problem? My problem is on you.”

Lies.

The old Oh Sehun would never say that. He wouldn’t let those heartbreaking words left his mouth.

Or does he really think that way?

For every time she left, she took a part of him with her but she never gave it back. Why does it have to be him that kept giving everything he owns? Why does it have to be him that who willingly gave everything despite the pain she gave him in return.

He’s beginning to doubt if the fire that used to have flames in their relationship is still burning. He began to search for the little flame that might still exist as a leftover of the fire. The fire that was burning to strongly is finally now extinguished. And all he could find is ashes. All they found was ashes as black as soot.

There’s not even a spark of hope left.

Sehun sat up frustrated at the thoughts flying around in his mind. He kicks the nearest object to him which happens to be the study table. An item rolls from the table and landed on the floor after a few twirls.

Was he shocked when he saw what it was?

Was he sad when he realized what she left?

Sehun doesn’t know anymore.

He was numb. Too numb to think. Too numb to understand.

Did she finally make her decision? Is he happy with the result?

Sehun picks up the Minji’s wedding ring and stood there staring at the identical item which tightly wraps around his ring finger.

Is this what he wanted? Is this what he wished for? A divorce? An end to their relationship that he wanted tried keeping? Is it too selfish to ask for a time machine to go back in time? To fix things right?

To Sehun,

Ehm hi. When you’re reading this, I might already left for somewhere far. I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this yesterday. I have been thinking of this for long but I didn’t have the courage to do so. To leave. To leave you.

Remember how you came into the room every night and took your pillow with you for the couch without another word? I saw the look on your face. I saw the depress look on your face. I’m sorry if I am the cause of it.

What have I done wrong to you to treat me like this? Please. Let me know. Tell me what I did wrong. At least I won’t keep myself wandering until the end.

 I don’t care how you used to say that I was annoying. I don’t care how you used to let yourself out on me. I don’t care about those insults you shot me. But I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for irritating you.

I’m sorry for making you mad although I know you were stress over your work.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you lessen your burden.

I’m sorry for being your burden.

I’m sorry, oppa. I really am. But I guess there’s no point of apologizing anymore.

I will always remember all the good times that you gave me. I will remember everything about you. And I hope you will too. I’m not asking for hope in our relationship anymore. It died. There won’t be ‘us’ in the future although I still couldn’t quite accept that fact but it’s really happening.

I used to doubt our relationship in the starting. I’m scared I couldn’t give you what you’d wanted. I’m scared that I won’t be able to help you with what you were about to face but being a coward I am, I decided to push all those thoughts away when I accepts your proposal.

I made a promise that I doubt I could keep.

I guess the quote was right. The one that I asked you before but you said it was bull.

‘Promises at meant to be broken.’

I broke mine and you broke yours.

But, always always always remember that I’ll always love you like how I used to.

Love,

Minji.

The girl that will love you forever.

Sehun held onto the letter, slightly crumpling it in his hands. There were tears stained on the letter, smearing the last few words. Adding with the tears he's sheding now. His knees felt weak as he dropped to the ground. Sehun leans his back against the wall as he stares at blankly nothing in common. Tears were starting to blurred his vision.

I'm sorry, Minji. I'm really sorry.

“Oppa, would you still love me even if I turned into an old grandmother with wrinkles here and there?”

Minji asked as she cuddles in Sehun’s embrace smiling at the boy who had his attention focused on the game in TV. Without thinking otherwise, Sehun made a promise that he couldn’t keep.