Final
❁ Imagination ❁BLUE = Kai
RED = Jinkyung
PURPLE = Both Together
[High School]
"Jinkyung!" I shouted, snatching her hair bow off of her head and running. She was bound to follow me. As I heard her light footsteps behind mine, I grinned. I let her capture me and pull me into a hug as she tried grasping her hair bow back, and she did.
He took my stuff again? He was a troublemaker. But I liked it when he took my things. I liked it when he had any interactions with me.
"Aish... You're such a... you're such a Kai," she said, frustrated. She was adorable when she was frustrated. She simply walked away and ignored me. I was about to follow her... I wanted to see her more. But I didn't. I didn't want to be seen as desperate.
As I walked off, I hoped Kai would follow me, but as I risked a look behind me, I saw that Kai was long gone. Of course he wouldn't follow me... What was I thinking?
That day was a day. It was a day of change.
As I sat down in class, next to Jinkyung and annoyed her by playing with her hair, a girl walked into the class. She looked half Canadian, half Korean. She had a tall, slim figure. Long, silky hair. Perfectly smooth skin and killer looks with heavy makeup.
My eyes widened as a flawless girl walked into the classroom. I wished I could be that pretty... Maybe then, Kai would like me?
I looked at Jinkyung and saw her no-makeup, fresh face. There were a few, tiny blemishes, her eyes weren't super huge, and her hair wasn't as long or as perfectly straight as the girl who had walked into the classroom. Still, Jinkyung was more beautiful to me.
"Students, this is Alena. She will be joining our class starting today," the teacher said. I saw the guys in our class drooling over her, and then she came and sat on the other spot next to me.
There was going to be a partner experiment today, I knew it. And I was going to ask Jinkyung.
"Okay class, you can now choose up to a group of 3 people," our teacher announced. I looked at Jinkyung with a glance and she just nodded, reading my mind. Then, Alena came up to me and bent down on my desk, trying to show her cleavage.
Kai and I were partners! I was bursting with joy but kept my expression calm. What was Alena doing with Kai?
"Can I work with you, Kai-bear?" she asked, knowing my name from looking at my name on my notebook.
Kai Bear? Ugh... That was the worst nickname. She probably didn't even know his real name... Jongin. Kim Jongin.
"Um... Uh..." I muttered. Honestly, I didn't want her to, but Jinkyung was too sweet to let me say no. Jinkyung me a look that told me to say yes, so I did.
I would seem selfish if I said no to Alena, so I smiled and told Kai to let her join us. I tried smiling kindly to her, but she sent me a look of disgust.
"Oh, and if we do, can it just be the two of us? I think it would be easier to work without... Distractions," Alena said plainly, looking at Jinkyung.
I almost snorted in disgust before I was going to kick Alena out, but Jinkyung just said, "Okay. I'm sorry to have bothered you. I'll... I'll leave." And she did.
I was kicked out. Kai didn't defend me... Alena just... Kicked me away from my love. Kai probably couldn't care less...
Jinkyung didn't just leave the group that day.
She left... Us. We were no longer what we used to be.
[High School Camping Trip]
Camping trips were never my favorite. But they were Kai's. He loved camping. We were on a field trip camp, and it was getting later. As I was walking to the restroom to wash up, I heard Kai's voice in a tent. He and other guys were playing truth or dare.
"Kai, truth or dare?" Tao asked.
"Truth," I replied. I hated dares.
"Okay... You're in love with Alena, right?" Tao said, arching his eyebrow.
Alena? I should have known... She looked like a princess while I looked like a plain girl.
Alena? Why would I like her? Before I started to say no, Chen said, "Come on Kai! It's so obvious that you like Alena! We used to think you liked that girl, Jinkyung, but you wouldn't like someone like her!"
Of course he wouldn't like someone like me.
"Just say yes!" Tao urged playfully.
"The answer is no, dude," I said honestly.
"Yeah right! Oh please, Kai. We can see right through you," Chanyeol said.
"I swear, I don't!" I said, but I heard my own voice faltering. Did I actually like Alena? My heart was with Jinkyung ever since I met her...
"O-Kay..." my friends said, but I could practically taste their sarcasm.
I ran off to the little camp shower as I tried rubbing away the tears that were falling down my cheeks. When the shower water came down, I let my tears flow freely, and it almost seemed like I was washing in my tears.
I was annoyed at my friends for saying that I liked Alena. I was pretty sure I didn't... Sure, she made me a bit nervous because she seemed so... Flawless. That was only on the outside. Alena was actually quite rude. She was gorgeous, okay, But Jinkyung was just more perfect.
I finished washing and walked back to the main campground, where I saw Kai, dancing to a song with killer moves and a great smile. It was nice to see him happy.
It was time to hike. I grabbed my cap, sunscreen, water bottle, and some other stuff, smashing it in my backpack and joining the big group led by our science teacher.
As I ran to the back of the group, I saw Alena. She was wearing platform sneakers that looked brand new and shiny, a translucent tank top and the shortest shorts I had ever seen. She finished her style with sunglasses and a classy sun hat. I was wearing my old baseball cap, a t-shirt and beaten hiking pants. Wow. No wonder Kai liked her better than me...
As we reached a river, we cooled down by it and relaxed. My eyes automatically scanned for Jinkyung, but I saw that she wasn't there.
"Seonsangnim?" I asked the teacher. "Where's Jinkyung?"
"Jinkyung Park? Um... She was here just a minute ago... Where did she go? And where is Kris?"
Oh god. Kris. The most evil, heartless and erted guy. HIM out of all people. I ran away without permission, looking for Jinkyung. If Kris harmed a single hair on her head... I would just...
"Kai!" I heard Jinkyung calling desperately.
"Jinkyung? Jinkyungie... I'll be right there!" a voice said. It was Kai's voice. He had come. He really came looking for me.
"I told you to stay quiet!" Kris yelled. "Now just let me have a little fun..." he said, grabbing me so I couldn't move.
"KAI!!!" I screamed. "JONGIN!!!"
I closed my eyes, waiting for the worst, until I felt Kris' arms drop and I was in a new pair of arms.
"Jinkyung..." I said, holding her. "Jinkyung..."
"Oh my god. Oh god," I said, more tears dripping down my face. I tried to break free from Kai; it was too awkward, but he held me tight.
"Can we just stay like this for a while? Just us?" I asked. Then, Kris rose up again. I let Jinkyung go but stood in front of her so I could protect her. I threw a punch at Kris, and he fought back until I knocked him to the ground. I hadn't done too much damage to him, but I grabbed him by the collar and said, "If you ever try anything like that again, I swear I will do everything in my power to make you more miserable than you would ever know."
"Kai, let's go," I said, holding his hand to bring him back to the river where the teacher was.
"No, wait," I said. "Can't we just stay here together? Just the two of us... Like it used to be?"
I pursed my lips. I wished we could get back to the way it was, but it just didn't feel the same. Alena had affected me too greatly.
"I think it would be best if we didn't," Jinkyung said. My face fell and my heart was crushed.
"So we can't even spend time as friends anymore?" I asked. We used to be so close... Why weren't we anymore?
"Kai, it's not that, I just--"
"I'm going to ask Alena out," I bursted. Why did I say that? I just wanted her to he a little jealous and come back to me...
A pang of sorrow hit me when he said he was asking Alena out. I should have seen it coming but I didn't. I tried holding back tears as I smiled and said, "Congratulations, Kai. I... If you're happy, I'm happy." And I ran off.
How could she say that? Didn't she realize that it was her I wanted, not Alena? I ran after her, catching her easily.
"Jinkyung, come on. Can't you tell that I love-"
"Alena? I know, Kai," I said. He didn't need to say it so straight up... But I wanted his happiness so badly.
"You know what Kai... I want you to ask Alena out," I lied. If that was who he loved, that was who I would let him be with.
"You... You WANT me to?" I asked in disbelief. Jinkyung WANTED me to be with someone else... So that was what I would do. I would do what Jinkyung asked of me.
As Kai nodded, I ran off again, more tears spilling down my cheeks as I figured out that I had lost my one true love.
[A Year Later]
"Oh my god, Kai is the perfect boyfriend! Thanks for setting us up, Jinkyung," Alena said.
"Technically, I didn't. Kai told me he was asking you out before I said he should," I said honestly. Alena thought she was my friend so she told me everything about her and Kai, which only hurt me more.
I watched as Alena and Jinkyung talked. We had grown so distant... We barely talked anymore.
After school, I walked home alone because my usual walking buddy was going home with another person. As I walked almost out of sight of the school, a familiar figure walked out confidently and planted himself in front of me.
As Alena held my hand, trying to pull me somewhere, I saw Jinkyung and another person... Maybe a guy? He pulled her roughly and she dropped her backpack, falling to the ground. I couldn't see her anymore...
I fell on the ground as the guy shoved me and took me to a dark alley. I looked, up, seeing Kris. My eyes widened in fear as he roughly started taking off my clothes. I tried to fight back but he twisted my arm so badly I couldn't bear it.
I tried going to see what had happened, but Alena frowned and pulled me back, trying to keep me occupied with her.
"What?" Alena said in an annoyed tone.
"I swear I just saw someone push Jinkyung..."
"It's probably your imagination, let's go, come on!" she complained. So unsurely, I followed Alena. I was probably just imagining it... Jinkyung was probably fine.
I was anything but fine. As Kris forced me into more connection than I wanted, I knew I was being and there was nothing I could do about it. The more I fought, the more I hurt. I saw blood on the floor and tears dripping down my face.
I couldn't even think about escaping, and I wasn't even thinking about the pain or the trauma. my mind was only focused on one thing, or person the whole time.
Kai.
"Where's your Kai now? Not here, huh? But isn't this so good, Jinkyung?" Kris mocked. I didn't respond and I was frozen on the outside, but thinking so many things on the inside.
'Save me, Kai. Save me like you did a year before. Be with me the way you were a year before. I always thought you would be my first, Kai. I love you Kai...'
[10 Years Later]
I bundled up in my thin, rotting jacket as I sat uncomfortably on the cold sidewalk, holding out my can and begging for money.
I had never imagined myself becoming like this.
I always thought I would be happy with Jinkyung, in the best family ever. But I wasn't.
I was a practically 30 year old man with no home, no food and no love.
As I walked to my favorite bakery, I saw a homeless man, shivering from the freezing cold. Poor soul... I dished out a $20 from my full wallet, ready to give it to him.
People would say I had a good life.
The CEO of a top company.
A big house.
Lots of money.
But did I have love? No. Not after Kai.
As a lady walked to me and gave me a generous $20 (20,000 won), I thanked her over and over. I stood, bowing fully and saying, "God bless you, angel." Then I looked up.
I stared at the full, captivating eyes before me. Could they... Was that... How...
"J-Jinkyung?" I asked, shakily.
"Oh lord... Kai?" I said. I couldn't believe that the talented, confident Kai that I knew had become a beggar. How did he become like this?
I was so ashamed. I couldn't let my one and only first love see me like this. I hid my face and bit my lip. No matter how happy I was to see her, my embarrassment was extreme.
"Kai... Let's get you to my house first, then we'll... Talk," I said. I couldn't bear to see him in this state. He nodded and I took his hand covered in dirt, and led him into my car.
"Who is this, Ms. Park?" a driver asked. I felt so awful... Shameful...
"This is an old school friend," I replied. "Take me home ASAP." When we reached me house, I let Kai sit by the fireplace and put a blanket around him, giving him the finest coffee I had.
"So... Um..."
"I missed you," was the first thing I said. "I missed you more than anything."
"Were you happy with Alena?" I asked, ignoring his words. I wanted to say I missed him too...but I had to push aside my feelings for his.
"Alena and I split. After we got married... It turned out she had other men..." I said. I was even more ashamed than before. "She took everything. Blamed it on me and kicked me out with nothing."
"I'm sorry," I said awkwardly. I wanted to scream and cry and tell him that I knew that would happen, but I didn't.
We looked into each other's eyes, reading them.
Miserable. Forlorn. Alone.
Painful. Grieving. Wanting.
I needed him. I was miserable because I couldn't be with him, forlorn and alone because he wasn't by my side.
Painful because it should have been Jinkyung from the very beginning. Grieving because I wanted her so badly. Wanting her.
I handed Kai some money that could help him for a while, and contact information to people who could put him in a better place.
I thanked her for the money but was still feeling terrible about how we met up.
I watched as Kai walked out of my house. Was I really going to let him go? Again?
I kept walking away, praying that Jinkyung would call my name. And then she did.
"Kai!" I said. He turned around with watery eyes, just as teary as mine.
Without thinking, I ran to her and gave her a kiss. A real kiss with the person I had always loved. It was a kiss that expressed all of the emotions we had. Anger. Regret. Frustration. Happiness. And love. Our kiss was full of love. I finally realized what I was doing and pulled away, looking into Jinkyung's beautiful eyes once again and then running off into the cold streets.
Kai ran off as I crumpled to the floor and shed more tears than I ever had. How was it possible that I could be so happy and so sad at the same time?
Why couldn't we have just been together?
Did my loved one really not love me back?
Maybe if fate was kind to us, we could have been together.
I thought we had a connection.
I thought we had love.
But... Maybe. just maybe it was only my imagination.
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