this chapter I wrote together with my fellow author Chocokailate.

Enjoy^^

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“OZ675 clear to fly .. have a save flight, Captain ..”

 

"Flight attendants sit to take off..." I gave the instructions to the crew cabin outside the cockpit through the radio speakers.

To see the entire panel around me started normally, with my co-pilot, we slowly pulled the throttle lever as the booster engines were ignited. In a constant velocity, our iron bird lifted into the air towards the vast space, through the clouds, and turned into bow movement to balance the wind direction. My eyes were alternately staring out the window and the primary flight display to see the increasing height numbers.   13000 feet, 15500, 20000, 23000 feet...   We balanced the plane position as we reached 40000 feet a few minutes later, before I turned the seatbelt sign panel off. We managed to send some codes to the Air Control at Incheon Airport that we had just completed the take-off and were ready to leave the sovereignty of South Korea. We bidded our goodbye and gratitude as the usual standard procedure, then ended our communication in one or two more sentences later.   I took a deep breath. Many years have I done this, flying an airplane with its various types and magnitudes. But no matter what it is, the take-off and landing prochedure always gives me this particular sensation of endless tension alone. As some of the passengers back there, we, the pilots sometimes also feel the same nervousness whenever this giant iron bird is about to fly.   Although we hold the official aviation certificate and have more than ten thousand hours of flight experiences, it always feels like the first time to fly. We were trained to be very careful and calculating.   "Feeling good, Captain?"   I turned my head to pay a glance to Junhee, my co-pilot sitting next to my right, started to break some ice to our silence.   "Yep." My eyes then went back on the flight display while giving him a reply. Shin Youngja, the leader of our flight attendants, knocked on the cockpit door and went in to bring us few cups of hot coffee and also the list of passengers record for our flight today.   Usually, this sort of thing, was one of my favorite activities on flight. Reading the names of passengers, trying to find any familiar names to see whether I was acquainted to them or not, especially when I knew one of my favourite passengers was there.   Everything's changed now. I never touched the record since last year, only watching it piled on the coffee table until Junhee picked it up to read it for himself. My curiousity was not as big as it used to be. It had long gone as she no longer fly with me since we ended our marriage two years ago .   "Oh, Capt, I suppose Miss Ambassador is in the first cabin right now. It's been so long since the last time I saw her on board."   I turned my head again to him, somewhat surprised. It's only a fraction of a second, because after then I quickly realized that she couldn't be here. They just happened to have the same name, a person who happened to be sitting in this particular seat she occupied everytime she flied with us.   My hand gripped the arm's rest, trying hard not to grip my chest. I held my breath so deep.   "It's not her, Junhee." I surely told him. I found a flatness in my tone, but I could hear a glimpse of shaking there. Luckily, I wore my aviator shades at the time to cover my eyes, so none would be aware though my eyes were wet. I hoped Junhee would not be.   I never talked to anyone about this. Some close people did know about the divorce, but I tried to keep it off from the public. So did little I know that we can never keep secret close forever, in a flick of time it became everyone's concern since the news I-didn't-know-how was spread in whispers, accompanied with more of excessive sympathy.   I desperately tried to ignore them. I put aside their gaze and behad like nothing happened, as usual. I told myself that I was fine, I am, and nothing of this would bring me down.   Our parting was much changed me, or my lifestyle more precisely. When she was there, everything was set to be something I longed for. My lunch, holidays, her kiss goodnight or sweet embrace in the morning.   When everything was gone and replaced with emptiness, it felt like hollow. It felt like my body no longer intact when I didn't see her next to me, when she lied on the couch waiting for me to come for her, or when she opened the door to welcome me home. It was painful to have to resist the temptation to call her when I really missed her voice, her tone of tenderness, her laughter, or her touch on my skin.   I don't regret letting her go. But I must admit life without her is a tragedy, something that is too hard to go through even years gone by.   "She got remarried last year, and she just gave birth to her first son few days ago." I told Junhee, after communicating with the Air Control for the checking standards.   I lied my glanced back out the window as I told him that. I could feel his eyes widened, throwing me a surprised expression as if he's never expecting it--well, so I guess not everyone is quite a nosy person then. Something in his expression made me think it must be the first time for him to hear this news, as so must be the two cockpit crew who sat behind my chair, when I heard them questioning in a flash murmur.   "I came to see the baby yesterday." I explained, to answer his unspoken question. He might be wondering how I knew about it, while my ex-wife and I had never been in touch since our divorce.   "Oh, that's good to hear." Junhee nodded. His face had now changed, and deliberately set to appear mediocre. Probably because I also looked flat when told them this. He never knew there was this turbulent inside my body with all the hot and cold sensation while controlling my emotion.   "Is it a boy or a girl?"   "A boy. They name him Jonghyun." I said simply. Pressing a button, I reached the Air Control as I heard their voice on my headphones telling us the wind and weather condition. Good. This could do for a change of conversation subject.    I really tried to divert my thought to anything else. Anything but her, but I just failed completely. My head would always full of her once she popped in my thought.   It went on that way. I remembered how my mom told me about her plan to remarry. She called to tell her the news, and invited us to the wedding even though it was not a mandatory to attend it. Of course I didn't come.   My mom did, though. I had a schedule to Switzerland at the time and it was a good excuse to ditch the invitation. Even my mom also came to the hospital at the day of her labor. She wanted to provide her moral support, something she could only give from a woman whose son refuses the presence of a child of his own.   I thought about my visit to the hospital yesterday, about the little creature writhing on his warm crib, and the figure of